Hawk custom card...

[A3n]

I thought I was going to get away without thinking for myself. I was wrong! I couldn't find a custom card for Hawk here so I have made one myself. Now this is my first effort at making a card so please let me know if something isn't quite balanced or contradicts any rules.

Thank you for any feedback & for stopping to have a look.

PS: I'm not quite happy with the smoke, so if anybody has a good smoke brush (or can point me to one) for PS I would greatly appreciate it.

Cheers

[hi1hi1hi1hi1]

HAWK
There's some official wording issues, but for a first custom it's not terrible. I would pay attention to the vocabulary used on both official and custom cards here and emulate that - it helps to keep things streamlined.

For example, Enraged should read:

"Before attacking with Hawk, roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a 15 or higher, you may roll two additional attack dice when attacking with a normal attack this turn."

Other than wording, I don't think there are any major issues, but I don''t know anything about the character.

[A3n]

Originally Posted by hi1hi1hi1hi1

HAWK
For example, Enraged should read:

"Before attacking with Hawk, roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a 15 or higher, you may roll two additional attack dice when attacking with a normal attack this turn."

Cheers - making that change right now!

What about the wording on Dove Distraction? And does the cost sound about right for his attributes?

[hi1hi1hi1hi1]

HAWK
Dove Distraction is not a special attack, so I would not have the range and attack separated like that because at first glance I thought it was. i would try something like this:

DOVE DISTRACTION
If Dove is targeted for an attack and Hawk is able to move adjacent to the attacking figure in 3 or fewer moves, Hawk may do so. After moving, Hawk may roll 4 unblockable attack dice against the attacking figure. After Hawk attacks, Dove may still be attacked by the original figure.

Also Distraction is spelled wrong.

Hmmm... one thing I worry about is that this is an extremely powerful ability. Four unblockable attack dice is enough to destroy half a Hulk. Do you think Hawk can really do that? Also it brings up a problem that how can a figure attack a non-adjacent Dove if it is now engaged with Hawk?

I would consider toning it down a good deal because I price Hawk in the high 200s with this ability.

[IAmBatman]

3 or fewer moves isn't doing it for me. It's unclear whether that means 3 spaces or 15 spaces ... I think it should be the former to keep the move from being crazy overpowered - 140 points is a good place for the character to be, but he's not that with the powers right now.

DOVE DISTRACTION
If you control Dove and she is targeted for an attack by a figure within 3 clear sight spaces of Hawk, after the attack is resolved you may move Hawk adjacent to the attacking figure, if possible, and roll 1 unblockable die to attack that figure.

It's a little chunky in the wording still, but it's not a simple power in terms of when what takes place for the power. I moved around when Hawk's move would take place for sake of simplicity and ease of playing.
I also would like to say that you're leaps and bounds ahead of my first custom in the art department! For a first card that looks great.

[A3n]

Thanks for the feedback Hi1 & Iambatman I really appreciate it.

After discussions in another thread with Iambatman I came to realise that the 4 dice unblockable in Dove Distraction was way overpowered (I was thinking that that's what his normal attack was so he should use that). So I agree with both of your comments about this.

Originally Posted by hi1hi1hi1hi1

Also Distraction is spelled wrong.

Opps!

Originally Posted by hi1hi1hi1hi1

Also it brings up a problem that how can a figure attack a non-adjacent Dove if it is now engaged with Hawk?

That's why I added "Hawk and Dove's attacker are engaged upon completion of the attack on Dove." Which I now agree doesn't quite cut it does it. That's why I will go with your variant Iambatman, which does change the order I wanted the attack to occur but as you stated in our discussion in the other thread "occasionally you have to sacrifice theme for game balance".

I do have a question about your wording "If you control Dove and she is targeted..."
Is it required to be specific about who controls Dove?
Can we not just say "If Dove is targeted..."? My thinking is that if controlled the attacker you wouldn't attack that figure, & if it was a game with 3 or more players then it would be a lot like the comics where Dove & Hawk were always fighting but still dealt with the bad guys. This would also remove the he/she issue that might arrise if there are different versions of these characters as initially Hawk & Dove were brothers then Dove was succeeded by a female & the last incarnation had them both as females I believe.

The only concern I have now about making the action take place after the attack on Dove is what if the attacker has one of those abilities that allows them to move after their attack or if they have a multiple attack that they can first attack Dove then attack Hawk? Is there any ideas or advise here?

Originally Posted by IAmBatman

I also would like to say that you're leaps and bounds ahead of my first custom in the art department! For a first card that looks great.

Thank you, I did spend a lot of time making a layered template for them in Photoshop. I couldn't quite achieve the washed out look that goes across the middle of the card, I'll probably have to make a pattern that covers the whole card without repeating to achieve this, unless you have a technique that would assist. Also the font isn't quite right but I didn't want to pay for a font . I always try match the original style of things that I add-on to.

Thank you again for all your constructive feedback, with your assistance I know I will end up with a perfectly balanced & usable character.

Cheers

[IAmBatman]

I think with your rationale it'd be OK to cancel the "if you control language."