Problems.

[Son of Arathorn]

Hello everybody.

As some may know, life can get difficult at times. There can be ups. There can be downs. Sometimes it is just plain good, sometimes it makes you want to do something terrible. Point being, this world is a roller-coaster, unpredictable as anything.
My personal experiences in the last few months have not been the best of my relatively short existence. My family's financial situation has not gotten better, and it was never anything to smile at in the beginning. If anything, it's gotten worse. On top of that, my immediate family, which has always managed to stay together despite an uncomfortable home situation, will split in two in a few months time. Meanwhile, my grades in school continue to slip as pressure at home affects what goes on there, and vice versa. I have to deal with these things.
These things are seriously impacting the way I view HeroScape. I have loved this game since the beginning, and since joining the community, I have only enjoyed it more. But as I look back on posts I've made here in the past months, I can see a pattern. Previously, my posts were motivated by creativity, or opinion, and the like. Now, they are a product of spontaneity, and mostly worthless garbage. I can't seem to pull it together and stop myself from posting random drivel that makes no sense.
Perhaps my emotions are affecting my judgement, (who am I kidding, of course my judgement is affected, didn't I just say as much).
Some people in my life has said that my enjoyment of the game and especially this community has now moved into an obsession. I look back on my behavior, and I realize they are right. My social, academic, and home situations are impacting what happens online, and this self-destructive spontaneous behavior has to stop, right now. Because I can see that my time on this site has become a way to vent, to release emotions that should not impact everybody on-site. If this post seems erratic and wavering, it reflects my current state of mind.
I don't know if this is going to help at all, but as of today, I'm going to stop visiting this site. I'm going to stop playing 'Scape. I'm going to stop coming up with cruddy custom ideas, and lousy literature.
I'm not leaving forever. I don't think I could live with that. But the next months will be some of the hardest of my life, and I can't balance this community and my real-world life in such a way that both will keep their meaning to me. I will not return for some time, at least for the duration of the schoolyear, if not longer.
If I can't stay away and get my life in some order, I suppose that shows how weak a person I am. It will show that I simply can't deal with a tough situation and hold true to what I believe in, self-control and dignity. I refuse to become someone that posts mindless drivel, and a person that lets things have such a large impact on them that their emotions go haywire.
I'm going to cut this meaningless post off now, and say goodbye for now. If all goes as I hope, you all will not hear from me for some time.

Many thanks for the time I've spent here, to everybody on the site,

~Son of Arathorn