Just_a_Bill’s Wording Suggestions Thread

[Just_a_Bill]

5th Precinct Beat Cops

[done]

http://www.heroscapers.com/community...ad.php?t=28615

heroscaper2010 caught this in the HoSS forums:

PROTECT AND SERVE
Anytime a figure you control would receive one or more wounds, you may instead destroy an adjacent 5th Precinct Beat Cop you control.

[Just_a_Bill]

Two-Face

[done]

http://www.heroscapers.com/community...ad.php?t=28586

SP and Index say his personality is COMPLICATED but the cards say CONFLICTED.

[Just_a_Bill]

Poison Ivy

EDIT: This one is too complex to keep revising in two places. See Ivy's thread for the discussion.

http://www.heroscapers.com/community...03#post2001303

[Just_a_Bill]

Star-Lord, Lex Luthor, and LexCorp Security

Star-Lord (with discussion)
Lex Luthor
LexCorp Security

Originally Posted by Soundwarp SG-1

So I'm curious, is there a particular reason Star Lord's Lucky Defense goes through this whole auto shield business instead of just counting the blank as a shield like Lex's Kryptonian Armor? The end result would be the same 90 percent of the time, and the Kryptonian Armor wording would be a lot shorter.

That's an interesting question, and worth some discussion. One thing to note is that Kryptonian Armor works only on normal attacks, whereas Lucky Defense also works on specials. Still, as you point out, the shorter one is also conceptually simpler, and it's probably a good idea to harmonize the wording templates. Let's look at the specifics.

LUCKY DEFENSE
When defending against an attack, if Star-Lord rolls at least one blank, you may add 1 automatic shield to whatever is rolled.

KRYPTONIAN ARMOR
When rolling defense against a normal attack, you may count one blank rolled as an extra shield.

A problem with Kryptonian Armor is its global template. It doesn't mention Lex Luthor at all, and since the subject is "you" (the player) then technically this works every time you roll defense dice against a normal attack (for any figure). Obviously that was not the intent, so it would be appropriate to reference Lex Luthor (or LexCorp Security) in the game text.

I would recommend the following template for all of these figures:

When ________ defends against [an | a normal] attack, you may count one blank rolled as an extra shield.

Thus:

LUCKY DEFENSE
When Star-Lord defends against an attack, you may count one blank rolled as an extra shield.

KRYPTONIAN ARMOR
When Lex Luthor defends against a normal attack, you may count one blank rolled as an extra shield.

KRYPTONIAN ARMOR
When a member of LexCorp Security defends against a normal attack, you may count one blank rolled as an extra shield.

(The "member of" convention comes from The Einar Imperium, and is also used on Diablo's SLEEP POTION 14 and Hired Guns' DOUBLE ATTACK.)

I searched the Index spreadsheet for other figures that reference "one blank" or "blanks," but these seem to be the only three units that grant a single auto-shield for rolling one or more blanks.

[Just_a_Bill]

Mephisto

http://www.heroscapers.com/community...&postcount=382

I had the same concern Dok did about "pouncing" effects. It's good that you made his proposed change to "would be destroyed" ...

Originally Posted by TrollBrute

DEAL WITH THE DEVIL
Start the game with 4 red Deal Markers on this card. While there is a Deal Marker on this card, when an opponent's Unique Hero that does not have a Valiant personality would be destroyed, you may choose that Hero and roll the 20-sided die. If you roll 6 or higher, remove all Wound Markers from that Hero's card, place that Hero on the space it previously occupied and place a Deal Marker from this card on that Hero's card. Androids, Constructs, and Undead are not affected by this special power.

... but since this became an "instead-of" effect, I don't think it's correct to say "place that Hero on the space it previously occupied" — you are never removing the figure now, right? If you remove the figure from the battlefield, then it's been destroyed (at least for an instant); and if it's destroyed, then Sabretooth lands on its space and you still have the problem Dok warned about.

This seems more like what you want (note also the inclusion of the serial comma):

DEAL WITH THE DEVIL
Start the game with 4 red Deal Markers on this card. While there is a Deal Marker on this card, when an opponent's Unique Hero that does not have a Valiant personality would be destroyed, you may choose that Hero and roll the 20-sided die. If you roll 6 or higher, remove all Wound Markers from that Hero's card, leave that Hero on the space it previously occupied occupies, and place a Deal Marker from this card on that Hero's card. Androids, Constructs, and Undead are not affected by this special power.

You could even shorten it to "... leave that Hero on the battlefield, ..." which may also connote just a tad more strongly that you are canceling its destruction.

[Just_a_Bill]

Dagger, Nomad, and Ozymandias

http://www.heroscapers.com/community...ad.php?t=38754

I'm thinking it would be prudent for Light Daggers Special Attack to say "you may remove one unrevealed Order Marker at random from that Unique Hero's Army Card." It would suck to have to include the revealed markers in the random selection! I imagine that people would generally assume that's what it means, but it seems like the other OM-manipulating specials I've seen usually say either "revealed" or "unrevealed" explicitly.

(Fun unit, BTW.)

EDIT: More details.

In classic, I found a total of three powers that use the word "random," and all three explicitly refer to unrevealed order markers (so apparently Hasbro thinks "morons" are people too):

• Fyorlag Spiders — Entangling Web: ... If you roll a 16 or higher, remove one unrevealed order marker at random from the chosen figure's Army Card
  
  
• Mind Flayer Mastermind — Psionic Blast Special Attack: ... If a figure receives 1 or more wounds from Psionic Blast Special Attack, remove one unrevealed order marker at random from that figure's Army Card
  
  
• Silver Surfer — Cosmic Force Blast Special Attack: ... If you roll a 16 or higher, you may remove one unrevealed Order Marker at random from that Unique Hero's Army Card.

In C3G, I found 26 powers that use the word "random"; one targets glyphs and the other 25 target order markers. Of those 25, 22* say "unrevealed" and the other 3 do not specify. I recommend making the word "unrevealed" an official part of your wording template for future designs, and adding it to these three outliers:

• Dagger — LIGHT DAGGERS SPECIAL ATTACK
• Nomad — STUN DISC SPECIAL ATTACK
• Ozymandias — SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD

* The 22 are Anarky's ELECTRIC STUN BATON, Anti-Monitor's MASTER OF TIME, Beast's NEGOTIATION, Blue Beetle's STRATEGIC SHOT SPECIAL ATTACK, Doctor Strange's EYE OF AGAMOTTO, Harley Quinn's SMILEX BOMB SPECIAL ATTACK, Harpoon's ENERGIZED HARPOON SPECIAL ATTACK, Iceman's DEEP FREEZE SPECIAL ATTACK, Indigo-1's INDIGO LIGHT OF COMPASSION, Iron Man Mark II's MONOBEAM SPECIAL ATTACK, Kraven's NERVE PUNCH, Loki's GOD OF MISCHIEF, Mad Hatter's HAT TRICK, Meteorite's MANIPULATION, Mister Mxyzptlk's 5TH DIMENSIONAL BEING, Psylocke's PSYCHIC KNIFE, Saturn Girl's PSYCHIC BLAST, Silver Surfer*'s COSMIC FORCE BLAST SPECIAL ATTACK, Solovar's NEGOTIATION, Spectre's WITHERING GAZE, Speedy (Roy)'s BOXING GLOVE ARROW SPECIAL ATTACK, and Spider-Man (Miles)'s VENOM BLAST STUN 13.

[Just_a_Bill]

Short Ruin DO

[done]

http://www.heroscapers.com/community...ad.php?t=41491

The card image still says 4 Life, but the SP and other comments in the thread suggest it should be 3.

[Just_a_Bill]

Rhino and Toxic Waste Barrel D.O.

The Book of Rhino
The Book of Toxic Waste Barrel

These two cards say to roll an unblockable attack die, then proceed to restate the obvious (if you roll a skull, the figure receives a wound). This jumped out at me as odd when I was reading the waste drum's CHEMICAL BURN power; I kind of shrugged it off, but then I saw that Ice Mountain, Mole Machine, and T-Sphere all roll unblockable attack dice without mentioning the resulting wounds. This forced me to go do the research, and I found another 42 C3G figures (not D.O.s) that contain the phrase "unblockable attack." The references occur on 38 unique special powers, and 37* of those 38 do not explain what it means to roll an unblockable attack die. The waste barrel and Rhino seem to be the two outliers, so I recommend the following revisions:

RHINO CHARGE
After moving normally with Rhino, if he is not engaged, you may move Rhino up to 3 spaces in a straight line. Add 1 die to his attack for each space moved with Rhino Charge. After using the Rhino Charge special power, if Rhino attacked and did not inflict one or more wounds, roll 1 unblockable attack die against him. If you roll a skull, Rhino receives a wound.

CHEMICAL BURN
When this Toxic Waste Barrel receives a wound or is destroyed, roll an unblockable attack die for against each figure adjacent to this Toxic Waste Barrel, one at a time. If you roll a skull, the figure receives a wound. Figures with the Environmental Suit special power or the Chemical Burn special power are not affected by Chemical Burn.

This will also help with the fact that Toxic Waste Barrel is a tad bit wordy for a D.O. In fact, I would recommend tightening it up even further:

CHEMICAL BURN
When this Toxic Waste Barrel receives a wound or is destroyed, roll an unblockable attack die against each adjacent figure adjacent to this Toxic Waste Barrel, one at a time. If you roll a skull, the figure receives a wound. Figures with the Environmental Suit special power or the Chemical Burn special power are not affected by Chemical Burn.

* The 37 reference powers are Abe Sapien's and Aquaman (II)'s SUBMERGE 12/11, Abomination's and Super-Ape (Mikhlo)'s SUPER THROW 8/12, Angel (Liam)'s DARK AVENGER, Azrael's FLAMING BLADES, Balder's RAGNAROK, Billy Batson's SHAZAM!, Blade's DAY WALKER, Blood Demons's BLOOD CURSE, Dark Phoenix's PSIONIC WAVE, Deathlok's SEEKING MY HUMANITY, Dragon Man's FIRE BREATH SPECIAL ATTACK, Executioner's AXE SLASH TELEPORTATION, Firefly's RAINING FIRE, Flash (Wally)'s SPEED FORCE, General Zod's GENERAL OF NEW KRYPTON, Ghost's SABOTAGE, Hawkeye's TRICK ARROWS SPECIAL ATTACK, Judge Dredd's LAWGIVER INCENDIARY SPECIAL ATTACK, Livewire's SHOCK JOCK, Liz Sherman's FIRESTORM SPECIAL ATTACK, Malice's BUBBLE SUFFOCATION, Obsidian's ENVELOPED IN SHADOWS, Phantom Girl's PHASE DRAG, Phoenix's PSIONIC BLAST, Phoenix's and Dark Phoenix's PHOENIX FIRE, Radioactive Man's RADIATION BLAST SPECIAL ATTACK, Red Hulk's RELEASING THE HEAT, Red Lantern (Atrocitus)'s RAGE VOMIT, Sandman's SANDSTORM, Scourge of the Underworld's JUSTICE IS SERVED!, Stilt-Man's ...THE HARDER THEY FALL, Swordsman's MAKLUAN SWORD SPECIAL ATTACK, Tempest's MYSTICAL TEMPEST, Ursa's KRYPTONITE DAGGER SPECIAL ATTACK, Valkyrie's DEATHGLOW PERCEPTION, Venom's SLASHING TENDRILS, and Walker's and Zombie's WALKING DEAD.

[Just_a_Bill]

Odin

The Book of Odin

A few miscellaneous points:

1. ODIN FORCE's reference to "Life values" in the card images and PDFs should be updated to say "Life numbers." (The OP and Sortable Index file are already correct.)
   
   
2. Unless there is some way for Odin to be actively doing something when he is off the battlefield, I think the phrase "while you control Odin on the battlefield" is redundant. (At an earlier design stage, did he used to be off the battlefield for the Odinsleep?)
   
   
3. ODINSLEEP, as written, sounds mandatory when you hit 5 wounds. Is that the design intent? (If not, a "you may" would be advisable.)
   
   
4. Just checking ... While in the ODINSLEEP, Odin can roll defense dice, and special powers on his own card are all active, right?

[TrollBrute]

Regarding Odin: You're correct on 1 and 2. For 3, I believe it is mandatory, so that wording is correct. For 4, yes, he still rolls defense and his own abilities are active. He cannot reveal Order Markers on his card, so Asgardian All-Father is unusable, but Odin Force is still in play.

[Karat]

Eh, I prefer values but can live with numbers

Otherwise I agree with everything TB said.

[Just_a_Bill]

Originally Posted by Karat

Eh, I prefer values but can live with numbers

It's less a question of what we can live with and more a question of precedent:

Number of specials in the Index file containing the word number: 146
Number of specials in the Index file containing the word value: 0