Every Tuesday night I go to Dignan's to play Heroscape. Here's what happens...
Tuesday Night at Dignan's (10/07/08)
Posted October 29th, 2008 at 10:05 PM by DrLivingston
I am stone cold sober, so this will be quite boring...
Tonight was a quiet night.
The Players:
Me/DrLivingston:I say that I play the same drunk as sober, and I think that's true.
But I am much louder drunk.
Clumsy as **** though, either way. Last week I ripped up Dignan's wall with a dice tower and tonight, I leaned my chair right into his freestanding lamp. Both of us would have been free-falling without the wall behind me. I aso send dice flying all over the room when I roll--dice towers are little help. This drives both Dignan and Podwest bat**** insane. I hear the word "retard" a lot.
Podwest: I bag on Podwest a lot. Tonight I'll say something nice. He smiles a lot? Maybe I'll think of something later...
R˙chean: R˙chean is fun to be around because he knows a lot of famous Heroscapers folk.
For example tonight, after he talked about Grungebob helping coordinate prize support with Wizards of the Coast (except he called them "What See"), he told us UPC might not come to NHSD because UPC's son had a football game.
(I bolded the famous people for easy reading.)
R˙chean related his conversation with UPC:
"So I said c'mon, and UPC says,'Family first' and I'm like, WTF did you have to say that--my kid has a soccer game and I'm still coming to NHSD. Jeez..."
R˙chean also has a very self depreciating style when he plays. This can be kind of funny when you watch him wail on people and he says things like, " It was all the dice," or, "I should never have won that."
Dignan is quite the contrast to that...
Dignan: Dignan is an arrogant bastard who says things like, "It was all the dice," when he's losing and, "I deserved to win that!" when he kicks your *** all over the place. Also, no one likes Dignan.
Podwest called me out on Ticalla Sunrise with:
80 Raelin
20 Marcu--(Eff Marcu, just Eff him. Stupid Podwest and his stupid Effin' Marcu...)
60 Zetacron
80 Finn
300 Stingers x 5
Podwest was really hacked I'd beaten him twice in 2 weeks with my all viper army.
No Vipers this time:
210 Braxas
150 Major Q10
100 Krav
80 Rats
This was yet another attempt for me to make Braxas work.
Podwest sent Finn right out and I sent out my rats. Finn was supposed to die so he could pump up Zetacron.
This seems a silly strategy to me--10 points more you get Q-10 or 20 points less you can have Kaemon Awa.
Guess I'm wrong though, because Zetacron took a shot on my Q 10 with 3 dice and rolled all skulls. 6 wounds on me, as I whiff the defense. Stupid ass strategies like that are not supposed to work...
**** you, Podwest.
During the next bit of the battle I really amazed my self with the rats. I put them all over in great position and completely tied up all but 3 of Podwests stingers.
Braxas came in and melted them all.
Every last one, (well except for the 2 or 3 the Krav got).
So I'm left with 1 Krav, a wounded Braxas, and 6 rats.
Podwest has Raelin and Marcu.
I lost initiative and Raelin went on a rampage. Braxas dead- I lose an order marker.
Krav dead, I lose the rest of my order markers.
In the end it came down to a rat and Raelin with 1 life.
And I lost.
Such a close game. Such a fun game. Podwest was very happy.
Meanwhile R˙chean ripped up Dignan. Really bad. On Gamebear's small No Where to Hide Map. R˙chean brought an army to win with:
120 Agent Skahen (R˙chean's new all time favorite, overtaking Kaemon Awa in the R˙chean All Time Favorite Heroscaper Standings. Of course right after telling us this, R˙chean whiffs a defense roll with Skahen and she goes down. Heh.)
100 Krav
120 Nakitas
150 Major Q-10
50 Marro Warriors
Dignan had:
100 Krav
100 Gorei Oni
80 Raelin
180 Stingers x 3
80 Rats x 2
Dignan cried about how the dice were horrible to him
And they must have been, because R˙chean really pasted him.
Warmed my heart.
Next R˙chean played Podwest (dodging me 'cuz he knew I'd kick his ***--next time Ry, next time...)
They both played the same armies on UPC's Stroll Through the Park.
Apart from an amazing turn of skill (complete luck)by Podwest in which he took out Skahen and 2 Nakitas in 2 order markers with the stingers, this one seemed to by all R˙chean.
"That's 200 points," Dignan squealed pointing and jumping up and down after Podwest took out Skahen and the Nakitas. I wrote this just because I thought it was funny that Dignan squealed...
But R˙chean won anyway.
Which is something I didn't do against Dignan on his map Dolin's Switchback.
This map is a *****. Not as annoying as UPC's arctic map, but still annoying enough that your guy can just never quite get where he wants to go.
Or see the guy he wants to shoot.
Or, if you're Nilfheim or Major Q-10, fit anywhere...
I had the same Braxas build and Dignan brought:
185 Nilfheim
80 Rats x 2
10 Isamu
20 Marcu
240 Stingers x 4
I hate this army because every time I play it, Dignan never even has to use Nilf. The stingers kill me waaaay before he's needed.
I stupidly decided not to use my rats (I just couldn't mentally take rats on rats) and led with the Krav and Q-10. Braxas joined in, rats were gone. Lots of Stingers were dead. Nilf shows up. Braxas and Q-10 are dead.
with 2 Krav left (and 8 rats still sitting in my start zone), I give up.
I am seriously despondent at this point as I can't get effing Braxas to kill enough stingers so the rest of my army can win.
So while R˙chean finishes his kicking of Podwest, Dignan offers to play me again--This time on Gamebear's No Place To Hide. Should be called No Place To Fit Q-10...
I bring the same thing (I almost brought the vipers...) and Dignan pulls out:
180 Major Q-9
240 Gladiatrons x 12
120 Blastatrons x 2
About a third of the way in, R˙chean comes by and remarks, "playing that army again?"
"Yes."
"So this is going to make 3 times you lose with it in 1 night?"
Such encouragement...
But he was right. I was wiping up the floor with Dignan's army and then Q-9 came out and killed Braxas, Q-10, and 2 Krav.
I did put up a fight with that last Krav, though.
Let's see(doing math in head...) I know Dignan rolled 8 of 9 skulls (one at a time, of course) and I saved every time. I lasted 3 more order markers of that 1 at a time bull**** after that.
And then I died.
And so did my spirit.
I'm so sick of losing with my (supposed) good armies that I'm thinking about either being goofy and bringing the all viper army, because than it will be all about fun (and I can say I lost because I didn't frenzy).
Or bringing something disgusting like:
180 Q-10
210 Braxas
120 Rats x 3
20 Marcu
Looking at this now, I think my opponent would hate me and I'd still lose...
Sorry to end on such a downer.
But I'm winless and sober.
Even Podwest beat me...
Doesn't get much worse than that on a Tuesday night for me.
Well at least Dignan didn't rub my beer on his crotch...
Tonight was a quiet night.
The Players:
Me/DrLivingston:I say that I play the same drunk as sober, and I think that's true.
But I am much louder drunk.
Clumsy as **** though, either way. Last week I ripped up Dignan's wall with a dice tower and tonight, I leaned my chair right into his freestanding lamp. Both of us would have been free-falling without the wall behind me. I aso send dice flying all over the room when I roll--dice towers are little help. This drives both Dignan and Podwest bat**** insane. I hear the word "retard" a lot.
Podwest: I bag on Podwest a lot. Tonight I'll say something nice. He smiles a lot? Maybe I'll think of something later...
R˙chean: R˙chean is fun to be around because he knows a lot of famous Heroscapers folk.
For example tonight, after he talked about Grungebob helping coordinate prize support with Wizards of the Coast (except he called them "What See"), he told us UPC might not come to NHSD because UPC's son had a football game.
(I bolded the famous people for easy reading.)
R˙chean related his conversation with UPC:
"So I said c'mon, and UPC says,'Family first' and I'm like, WTF did you have to say that--my kid has a soccer game and I'm still coming to NHSD. Jeez..."
R˙chean also has a very self depreciating style when he plays. This can be kind of funny when you watch him wail on people and he says things like, " It was all the dice," or, "I should never have won that."
Dignan is quite the contrast to that...
Dignan: Dignan is an arrogant bastard who says things like, "It was all the dice," when he's losing and, "I deserved to win that!" when he kicks your *** all over the place. Also, no one likes Dignan.
Podwest called me out on Ticalla Sunrise with:
80 Raelin
20 Marcu--(Eff Marcu, just Eff him. Stupid Podwest and his stupid Effin' Marcu...)
60 Zetacron
80 Finn
300 Stingers x 5
Podwest was really hacked I'd beaten him twice in 2 weeks with my all viper army.
No Vipers this time:
210 Braxas
150 Major Q10
100 Krav
80 Rats
This was yet another attempt for me to make Braxas work.
Podwest sent Finn right out and I sent out my rats. Finn was supposed to die so he could pump up Zetacron.
This seems a silly strategy to me--10 points more you get Q-10 or 20 points less you can have Kaemon Awa.
Guess I'm wrong though, because Zetacron took a shot on my Q 10 with 3 dice and rolled all skulls. 6 wounds on me, as I whiff the defense. Stupid ass strategies like that are not supposed to work...
**** you, Podwest.
During the next bit of the battle I really amazed my self with the rats. I put them all over in great position and completely tied up all but 3 of Podwests stingers.
Braxas came in and melted them all.
Every last one, (well except for the 2 or 3 the Krav got).
So I'm left with 1 Krav, a wounded Braxas, and 6 rats.
Podwest has Raelin and Marcu.
I lost initiative and Raelin went on a rampage. Braxas dead- I lose an order marker.
Krav dead, I lose the rest of my order markers.
In the end it came down to a rat and Raelin with 1 life.
And I lost.
Such a close game. Such a fun game. Podwest was very happy.
Meanwhile R˙chean ripped up Dignan. Really bad. On Gamebear's small No Where to Hide Map. R˙chean brought an army to win with:
120 Agent Skahen (R˙chean's new all time favorite, overtaking Kaemon Awa in the R˙chean All Time Favorite Heroscaper Standings. Of course right after telling us this, R˙chean whiffs a defense roll with Skahen and she goes down. Heh.)
100 Krav
120 Nakitas
150 Major Q-10
50 Marro Warriors
Dignan had:
100 Krav
100 Gorei Oni
80 Raelin
180 Stingers x 3
80 Rats x 2
Dignan cried about how the dice were horrible to him
And they must have been, because R˙chean really pasted him.
Warmed my heart.
Next R˙chean played Podwest (dodging me 'cuz he knew I'd kick his ***--next time Ry, next time...)
They both played the same armies on UPC's Stroll Through the Park.
Apart from an amazing turn of skill (complete luck)by Podwest in which he took out Skahen and 2 Nakitas in 2 order markers with the stingers, this one seemed to by all R˙chean.
"That's 200 points," Dignan squealed pointing and jumping up and down after Podwest took out Skahen and the Nakitas. I wrote this just because I thought it was funny that Dignan squealed...
But R˙chean won anyway.
Which is something I didn't do against Dignan on his map Dolin's Switchback.
This map is a *****. Not as annoying as UPC's arctic map, but still annoying enough that your guy can just never quite get where he wants to go.
Or see the guy he wants to shoot.
Or, if you're Nilfheim or Major Q-10, fit anywhere...
I had the same Braxas build and Dignan brought:
185 Nilfheim
80 Rats x 2
10 Isamu
20 Marcu
240 Stingers x 4
I hate this army because every time I play it, Dignan never even has to use Nilf. The stingers kill me waaaay before he's needed.
I stupidly decided not to use my rats (I just couldn't mentally take rats on rats) and led with the Krav and Q-10. Braxas joined in, rats were gone. Lots of Stingers were dead. Nilf shows up. Braxas and Q-10 are dead.
with 2 Krav left (and 8 rats still sitting in my start zone), I give up.
I am seriously despondent at this point as I can't get effing Braxas to kill enough stingers so the rest of my army can win.
So while R˙chean finishes his kicking of Podwest, Dignan offers to play me again--This time on Gamebear's No Place To Hide. Should be called No Place To Fit Q-10...
I bring the same thing (I almost brought the vipers...) and Dignan pulls out:
180 Major Q-9
240 Gladiatrons x 12
120 Blastatrons x 2
About a third of the way in, R˙chean comes by and remarks, "playing that army again?"
"Yes."
"So this is going to make 3 times you lose with it in 1 night?"
Such encouragement...
But he was right. I was wiping up the floor with Dignan's army and then Q-9 came out and killed Braxas, Q-10, and 2 Krav.
I did put up a fight with that last Krav, though.
Let's see(doing math in head...) I know Dignan rolled 8 of 9 skulls (one at a time, of course) and I saved every time. I lasted 3 more order markers of that 1 at a time bull**** after that.
And then I died.
And so did my spirit.
I'm so sick of losing with my (supposed) good armies that I'm thinking about either being goofy and bringing the all viper army, because than it will be all about fun (and I can say I lost because I didn't frenzy).
Or bringing something disgusting like:
180 Q-10
210 Braxas
120 Rats x 3
20 Marcu
Looking at this now, I think my opponent would hate me and I'd still lose...
Sorry to end on such a downer.
But I'm winless and sober.
Even Podwest beat me...
Doesn't get much worse than that on a Tuesday night for me.
Well at least Dignan didn't rub my beer on his crotch...
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