The B.I.V.

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Well, my good buddy rym has inspired me to pick up the pen yet again!

A couple of weeks back I was driving behind some moron (not to be confused with Mormon) on the way to work. Apparently I was being a jerk although I was unaware of this until said moron slowed to, like, 25 mph to teach me a lesson (or something). So I’m all, “whatever,” and I get in the next lane to pass him.

Well, when I get ahead of him a little way and attempt to get back over into his lane, he pulls the speed-up-really-fast-so-I-can’t-get-over-trick. I held my position until the last possible moment but finally got back in the other lane before we both died. He sped past me. At this point I’m really not all that mad. More like amused that this guy is so agitated at me that he’s pulling all this crazy crap on me.

Well he finally takes an exit up ahead of me and as I pass him I see him shaking his fist and making some facial gesture at me out of the corner of my eye. As I passed...

I was browsing my local secondhand shop the other day ('cause I'm thrifty like that) and I came across a Spiderman 3 version of Operation. You know, Operation? The game where you hafta remove parts from a "patient" with a pair of tweezers and if you touch the sides it's all: "BZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!" Well in this version you get to operate on Spiderman and remove parts like "Webbed Feet" and "Crook in the Neck." Wow, I bet it took a genius to think that crap up! The thing that pisses me off is that it's the exact same game! It's the same deal with all the bazillion versions of Monopoly. WHO CARES?! If I wanna play Monopoly I'll play Monopoly, not Transformers Monopoly "cuz I saw tha movie and it wuz so 1337 kewl, dood!" The lame thing is that there are enough people that aren't me, that do buy this crap, "cuz they saw the movie and it wuz so 1337 kewl, dood" that game companies are obviously making money off of these stupid alternate...

The other day I discovered yet another thing that annoys me. I was driving behind a stupid minivan that had those dumb stick figures of a Mom and a Dad and all their dumb kids. Now, I'm not against owning a minivan (I own one) or even having some kids (I have several), but really, I really could care less how many people are in your family or what sex they are! Damn those people for thinking I should care! There are even stupid variations, now that have palm trees and crap. Or you can get little dogs and cats and stuff. I hate your stupid pets even more than your stupid family members! Pets aren't people and they don't belong in your "family." Pets are animals. They are not self-aware (despite what Disney would have you believe). The idea that animals are sentient creatures with thoughts and feelings has done all sorts of bad to our society. And, no, I'm not advocating cruelty to animals, but vegetarianism, eco-terrorism and all sorts of other crap has sprung from this idea....