davidlhsl's Battles

[davidlhsl]

Off-camera announcer, with dramatic music in the background: "Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Burt's Beer Two Year Anniversary Celebration, featuring all your favorite cast of characters!

"The President and CEO of Burt's Beer, Burt!"

Burt: "If any of my employees are watching this while you're supposed to be working, you're fired!"

"Sock Puppet!"

Sock Puppet: "Ready to assist!"

"Pam!"

Pam: "Check your survival kit in case a natural disaster strikes. Do it now!!!"

"Mike!"

Mike: "Not my fault! I have witnesses."

"Nurse Rechet!"

Nurse Rechet: "Get back in bed!"

"Our special guest-star, C3G's Anti-Monitor!"

Anti-Monitor: "You're all erased from existence!"

"And now, presenting our Masters of Ceremony, the Dynamic Duo of the sports broadcasting world, Bob and Dave!"

David: "Happy Anniversary, Sports Freaks! Bob, this thread has been incredibly fun for us. When I look at the index on the first post, I'm simply astounded at all the amazing battles and stories we've seen. So, what is your favorite moment?"

Bob: "It's certainly not the time you drank that stupid tea that smells like smoke. When the studio actually caught fire, I thought it was the tea."

David: "Oh, yeah, that was pretty bad. Hey, Pam! What is your favorite moment?"

Pam: "It certainly isn't the time you and Mike pulled that childish stunt in announcing Bob and I were dead."

David: "Sorry. We thought it was pretty funny. Sock Puppet? How about you? Do you have a favorite moment?"

Sock Puppet: "It certainly isn't the time Arcade trapped me in a giant dryer and tried to kill me."

David: "I never realized my thread was so traumatic. Mike? Do you have... oh, never mind. You're Mike."

Mike: "Yeah, this thread has really been peachy for me, David. I would say I enjoyed our Round Table discussion, but you all shot down my brilliant suggestion for triangular tables."

David: "Apparently I'm the only one who didn't get up on the wrong side of bed. I'm really having a difficult time choosing a favorite, but I really like the way the C3G vs. Helmiverse Smackdown story evolved. Despite the mistakes I made, I think the battles created a nice level of drama, and I still go back and read it periodically."

Bob: "Yes, that was a nice story. And despite the fact that you make fun of my lovely wife, and despite the fact that I'm the only sane person in a cast of weirdos, -- except you, Sock Puppet -- I'm proud to be a part of it. So, are we ready to announce the results in our third round of the Battle Bites Tournament?"

David: "Absolutely, gang! And guess what? We have received a submission for three battles from our FotT, Red Eyed Jedi! REJ, we'd all like to thank you for your generous participation. And since you've been kind enough to join in the action, we've decided to allow your battles to break any ties we have. So, thanks again!"

Pam: "FotT???"

David: "Friend of the Thread, Pam. And we have a lot of friends. Our thread is currently over 27,000 views, which is awesome. We've been stickied thanks to tcglkn and IAmBatman. quozl has joined in the action in a couple of our battles. We have several folks who have popped in and given us words of encouragement. And, this thread has been rated at 5 stars by some of our friends."

Bob: "David, I think that's probably been my favorite part of these two years: the fans. Of course, the burns from that fire took me down, and there was that time a monster grabbed us and tore us apart. But I do love the fans."

David: "Nobody likes a whiner, Bob! We'll take a brief commercial break, and we'll return with the results of our first battle!"

Off-camera announcer: "Stay tuned, Sports Fans! Don't forget, this celebration is brought to you by the good folks at Burt's Beer. Burt's Beer: We're running out of slogans."

[davidlhsl]

Off-camera announcer: "Welcome back! And now, here are Bob and Dave!"

David: "We hope you spent that commercial enjoying the delightfully squalid taste of Burt's Beer."

Bob: "Now you're talking, David! I love my Burt's Beer as much as you love Anti-Monitor."

David: "Yes, and Anti-Monitor doesn't give me diarrhea. Now, let's get to the first battle in this round. I played my battles during a lovely Saturday afternoon at Long Hunter State Park. While other folks were grilling, spending quality time with their families, and having fun in and around Percy Priest Lake, I was sitting at a picnic table having fun watching these battles, and I took some pictures to share!"

Bob: "Isn't that the park where you thought you left your battle mats?"

David: "Yeah, that's the one."

Bob: "I think you probably lost your mind there. And Red Eyed Jedi indicated that he played his battles with his buddy, dxash. Their battles were fought on Grundy's Grave, which is one of C3G's maps."

David: "I simply spread out my water battle mat and placed some tiles randomly. Ok, here's our first battle!"

Team Kraven vs. Team Rhino

Spoiler Alert!

David: "This is the only battle REJ and dxash didn't play. Kraven tied down Hydro-Man with his Bolas while Trickster tossed the Itching Powder at Rhino. Kraven blocked a 4-skull Rhino Charge attack, but the wounds from Kraven wore Rhino down, and Black Cat delivered the fatal blow. Hydro-Man knocked both Black Cat and Kraven into the lake, but Kraven took down Hydro-Man for the win.

"Kraven wins with 3 wounds, Black Cat has 1 wound, and Trickster simply laughs unharmed. Team Kraven advances!"

Bob: "You really should've invited us to watch the battle. I would've brought a big cooler of Burt's Beer and some brats."

David: "Oh, shoot. That would've been yummy. Maybe I can take you up on that some other time. Let's cut to commercial and return with the next battle."

Off-camera announcer: "The fun continues when we return. Burt's Beer: Now featuring huge chunks of brats in every can!"

[davidlhsl]

Off-camera announcer: "Where have you been? Let's join Bob and Dave!"

David: "Ok, now we're ready to announce our second battle. Pam? You spend a lot of time in the outdoors. Have you ever set out a nice battle at a picnic table?"

Pam: "No, David. I'm usually scouting for resources. If you want to survive, you have to focus on effecting rescue."

David: "But I watched Survivorman, and he sometimes has his harmonica with him to keep his spirits up."

Pam: "I really don't play a musical instrument."

David: "But you can play Heroscape, can't you?"

Pam: "David, I can't think of any scenario where I would find myself lost and stranded while toting a massive amount of terrain tiles, figures, dice, and markers. So I only start my survival excursions with only the items I would expect a normal person to have in a similar situation. And during my training camps, I'm too busy working with my students to play games."

David: "I do enjoy watching those shows, Pam. I've only gone day hiking. I can't imagine what you go through on your trips."

Pam: "What do you put in your backpack, David?"

David: "I'll carry some water, a rain jacket, an extra shirt in case i need an extra layer, a first aid kit, a tiny shovel and some toilet paper. I think that's it."

Pam: "You should also carry some trail mix, a map of the trail, and you should wear a whistle around your neck in case you find yourself injured and you need to signal for help."

David: "I think my screaming at the top of my lungs would be good enough to signal for help."

Pam: "A whistle will make a louder sound and will travel a lot farther than your voice. Bring your pack some time, and I'll suggest some additional things and show you how to properly pack your gear. Even during a day hike, you must take precautions."

David: "Lately I've been walking in various city parks and trails. The really great trails I used to frequent are about 2-3 hours driving distance, and I've been cutting back on the gas I've used."

Pam: "If you're walking in an open area, then I suppose you could get by with less. But it's still important for you to keep the habit of preparing yourself for those times you do decide to head out to more isolated areas."

David: "Pam, thank you! We're probably boring our viewers, but we always cut you off when you start talking about your occupation. I wanted to give you a chance to share your knowledge with us, because you do great work for us with our battles."

Pam: "Wow, thanks. Let's announce the results of our second battle."

David: "Certainly!"

Team Sandman vs. Team Doctor Octopus

Spoiler Alert!

Pam: "Let's begin with Red Eyed Jedi's battle."

Originally Posted by Red Eyed Jedi

Doc Ock CyberClaw locks down Sandman, while The Hood uses criminal Ambition giving them some double activations. Sandman heals several times but can't keep up with damage they inflict and is KO'd. Doc light then with Sensory Assult takes out Doc Ock who was severely wounded by Sandman. Doc light then wounds Hood who was devoured by his cloak, but Doc Light whiffs and is Ko'd.
Hood wins with 3 wounds.

David: "There is a lot of sand on this map for Sandman. Hood teamed with Doctor Octopus nicely thanks to Hood's Criminal Ambition. Doctor Octopus took down Sandman with a brutal series of Tentacle strikes, and Doctor Light knicked away at Doc Ock. The Doc turned out the Lights, and Doctor Octopus wins with 3 wounds, while The Hood survives unharmed.

"And that, folks, is a tie. We'll give the right-of-way to Red Eyed Jedi's results and advance Team Sandman to the Semi-Finals!"

Pam: "That's two battles down for the Bad Teams."

David: "Coming up, we'll have the first battle featuring the Good Teams. Stay tuned, folks!"

Off-camera announcer: "This 2 Year Special continues after this break. Burt's Beer: Drink it before it clots."

[davidlhsl]

Off-camera announcer: "We're back. Here are Bob and Dave!"

Bob: "Mike, we don't spend enough time bantering when you're filling in, so let's sit and chat for a bit. How do you like this table?"

Mike: "It's a triangle! Thanks a lot, Bob. See? Wasn't I right? Isn't this better than round or rectangular tables?"

Bob: "Not if you seating more than 3 people, Mike. So, what's new with you?"

Mike: "Not much."

Bob: "Did you do anything interesting over the past weekend?"

Mike: "Not really."

Bob: "Do you have any exciting plans for the upcoming weekend?"

Mike: "Not really. Nope."

Bob (sighs): "Oh, I remember you like opera."

Mike: "Yes!"

Bob: "So, have you seen any good operas lately?"

Mike: "I watched Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro again. I just love the way that second act ends. Mozart is wonderful."

Bob: "Sounds interesting. How does the second act end?"

Mike: "The curtain falls and they have an intermission."

Bob (after a long pause): "Uh, nice chatting with ya, Mike."

Mike: "The pleasure has been all mine."

Bob: "Yes it has."

Mike: "So, what happened during the third battle?"

Team Daredevil vs. Team Psylocke

Spoiler Alert!

Bob: "Here are Red Eyed Jedi's results:"

Originally Posted by Red Eyed Jedi

Hawkeye with his range and exploding Arrows takes out Elektra, and deals wounds bypassing DD's Man without Fear before they even gets close, Psylocke moves in engages DD and a great Psychic Knife roll destroys her, while being Irritated by Atom who is still on her after the smoke clears.
Hawkeye unwounded, Psylocke with one wound.

David: "Psylocke simply wasted time trying a futile flanking maneuver through the lake. Elektra and Atom focused on Hawkeye, and Elektra took down the archer with her Assasssin's Mark. Psylocke did manage to reach Daredevil and wisely focused on her Psychic Knife to bypass Daredevil's defenses, but her 20-sided die was cold. Elektra takes down Psylocke for the win. She and Atom had no damage, and Daredevil only took 2 wounds.

"Another tie! Red Eyed Jedi gets the nod to advance Team Psylocke in the Tournament."

Mike: "One more battle to go! This is so exciting!"

Bob: "Stay tuned, everyone!"

Off-camera announcer: "Why not celebrate this anniversary with a nice, dented can of Burt's Beer. Burt's Beer: We'll get it right eventually."

[davidlhsl]

Off-camera announcer: "And now, Bob and Dave!"

David: "Thanks, mysterious voice in my head. Hey, Sock Puppet! Are you enjoying the celebration so far?"

Sock Puppet: "Absolutely, David! After this round, we'll have only three more battles to go!"

David: "That's right! This tournament has taken me some time to complete. I can't believe how I pulled off that first HelmAverse Cup Tournament in such a short time. I wanted to take some breaks so I could play some of the other games in my collection. You've really been a valuable member of our broadcast team, and I'm certain the others will join me in thanking you for all you do for us."

Sock Puppet: "I'm thrilled to be a part of this, and I'm always happy to assist when I'm needed."

David: "We're down to our final battle between Team Superman and Team Iron Man Mk IV. Are you ready?"

Sock Puppet: "I'm always ready!"

Team Superman vs. Team Iron Man Mk IV

Spoiler Alert!

Sock Puppet: "Let's first check on Red Eyed Jedi's results:"

Originally Posted by Red Eyed Jedi

Superman moving in quick takes 1 from Iron Man's Repulsor Blast, Catches the Man of Iron then almost one hit destroys him, who retaliates with a Uni-Beam dealing 2 more to the Man of Steel. Superman then finishes off the Man of Iron with Vixen in Rhino Mode just outside of SZ watching in terror, She charges in but Supes is to tough for her and she is KO'd quickly after inflicting 1 wound.
Superman wins with 4 wounds.

David: "Superman was strong in my battle as well. A massive knockback sends Vixen flying into the distant lake. Iron Man manages 3 wounds on Supes with his Uni-Beam without shutting down, only to have his can crushed by the Kryptonian. Vixen switches to Bear, thinking having more attack is better than wasting it on a defense that will likely get her knocked out anyway. Superman takes her out, and the officials are called to rule on an attack by Vixen. She had forgotten to add her extra dice in her attack, so the attack and defense were re-rolled, and she was ruled to have landed 2 wounds. So instead of surviving with 3 wounds, Superman wins with 5 wounds and smashes a case of Burt's Beer over one of the official's heads. That's pretty out of character for Superman.

"Team Superman advances, and all the other teams immediately order cases of Green Kryptonite."

David: "And that wraps up our third round. As Sock Puppet said, we only have three more battles to go! Which team will prevail? We hope you'll follow the exciting action!"

Bob: "David, we should also pass along our thanks to the fantastic folks whose creations have provided us with so many memorable moments."

David: "Absolutely! And thanks again to Red Eyed Jedi for his own Burt's Report, and thanks to all our fans!"

Bob, Pam, Mike, and Sock Puppet: "99 Bottles of Burt's on the wall! 99 Bottles of Burt's!"

Sock Puppet (deep voice): "If one of those bottles should happen to fall?"

David: "That's one less bottle of beer you'll have to drink! Good night!"

Challonge updated.

[Red Eyed Jedi]

Thanks again for letting us participate in your celebration, Dxash and I were drinking Burts Light while we was playing, all the taste of Burts but half the chunks!

REJ-proud to be a FotT!

[davidlhsl]

David: “Contractions are 5 minutes apart, Sports Fans! I’m David, and doing his breathing exercises is my good friend, Bob!”

Bob: “What are you talking about, anyway?”

David: “Labor Day, Bob. The time where people deliver babies!”

Bob: “I don’t think that’s what it means.”

David: “Well, excuse me, Bob. My wife may not wear a fancy fur coat, but she does wear a respectable Republican cloth coat!”

Bob (buries face in hands): “I’m not coming out of my Happy Place until I get to work with a normal person.”

David: “That was from Nixon’s Checkers Speech!”

Bob: “La! La! La! I can’t hear you!”

David: “Hey, I think this is the last can of Burt’s Beer.”

Bob: “What? Gimme! Gimme!”

David: “Ha! You were listening to me the entire time.”

Bob: “David, we’ve got our Semi-Final Battle in our Battle Bites Tournament that’s about to begin. If you don’t shape up, our commercial breaks will be 5 minutes apart, and your water’s about to break.”

David: “Later, Bob. We’ll begin with the battle to decide which of our Bad Teams will be the baddest to the bone! We have Team Kraven. Kraven has been marking his prey and taking them down.”

Bob: “They will face Team Sandman! Sandman and Doctor Light have plowed their way through the field. But only one team will earn the right to take on the winner of Team Good.”

David: “I think we’ve set the field pretty nicely.”

Bob: “Yes, I think so.”

David: “And I don’t care what anybody says, I’m keeping the dog.”

Bob: “Oh, brother!”

Off-camera announcer: “This Team Bad Battle is brought to you by the good folks at Burt’s Beer. Burt’s Beer: We are not a crook!”

Team Bad Semi-Final: Team Kraven vs. Team Sandman

Spoiler Alert!

David: “I still haven’t taken down the Mountain Spring map, so we’ll battle here. I’ve moved the start zones closer to get into the action more quickly. Kraven targets Sandman as his Prey.”

Round 1
David: “Trickster flies forward and tosses his Itching Powder Bomb at Sandman. Sandman blocks, but he gets the Itching Powder marker.”

Bob: “Doctor Light couldn’t prevent the Itching Powder Bomb, because that ability doesn’t require line of sight. Doctor Light flies to height and fires down on Trickster. Kraven reveals the X to activate Trickster’s Hey Look Over There ability, which cancels the attack. It’s a shame, because Doctor Light rolled 5 perfect skulls.”

David: “Hey, Bob, look over there!”

Bob: “I’m not falling for that, David.”

(A bottle of Burt’s Beer whizzes past Bob’s head.)

Bob: “HEY!!!”

David: “I told you to look. Ok, Kraven climbs up the mountain, but Doctor Light will prevent Kraven from doing anything.”

Bob: “Sandman’s activation triggers Kraven’s Tracker ability, and he moves towards Doctor Light. Sandman moves forward and into the sand area of the map.”

David: “Black Cat uses her Expert Climbing to reach Sandman. Being in sand, Sandman receives +1 on attack and defense. I hope Kitty knows who she is messing with. Her fists punch through the sand to no effect.”

Bob: “Doctor Light takes advantage of the fact the X Order Marker has already been revealed to protect Trickster. This attack can’t be ignored: 2sk vs 2sh. Blocked, and Trickster laughs.”

Round 2
Bob: “Doctor Light has the jump, and he fires down on Kraven instead. Height plus Sensory Assault gives him +2 to attack. Kraven takes 2 wounds (4 left).”

David: “Blinded by the light! Wrapped up like a deuce, you know the rumor in the night! Kraven approaches Dr. Light and strikes up. The light was too bright, and the Doctor easily blocks.”

Bob: “Sandman turns into a pillar of sand and uses his Sandstorm to pass over Black Cat. Black Cat avoids damage from the unblockable die. Sandman rolls 3 fewer attack dice for using Sandstorm, but will gain one back for landing on a sand space. Whiffed attack.”

David: “Black Cat climbs up and strikes down at Sandman, but Sandman blocks.”

Bob: “Sandman strikes up at the Cat. Black Cat is out of Doctor Light’s Blinding Light range, so her Bad Luck Aura applies. She succeeds in changing Sandman’s 4 skulls to 2 skulls, and she takes 2 wounds (2 left).”

David: “Kraven decided to hold position during his Prey’s turns to deal with the Blinding Light. No damage, but he knocks the Doc back off his high perch.”

Round 3
David: “Kraven climbs up on the high spot that Doctor Light had held, then he strikes down. He scores 2 wounds (3 left) and knocks him back two spaces. The Doc slams into a rock outcropping to take another wound (2 left), and Kraven’s Nerve Punch removes one of his Order Markers. “

Bob: “Doctor Light loses the turn.”

David: “Black Cat strikes down at Sandman. Sandman rolled 6 perfect shields. Wow! No damage.”

Bob: “Doctor Light flies to the other side of a tree and fires at Kraven. Whiff.”

David: “Kraven engages the Doc to put the tree behind Doctor Light for potential knockback damage. The automatic skull from Kraven’s Nerve Punch is blocked.”

Bob: “Sandman uses Sandstorm to pass over Trickster and Black Cat. Neither takes damage. He tries to strike down at Trickster, but the X Order Marker on Black Cat prevents the attack. David, we've been forgetting to roll for the Itching Powder on Sandman!”

David: “Yikes! Oh, dear. We'll play on, as Sandman hasn't been able to damage anyone with his Sandstorm so far."

Bob: "No worries."

David: "This battle is bad to the bone! Stay tuned!”

[davidlhsl]

Team Bad Semi-Final: Team Kraven vs. Team Sandman (continued)

Spoiler Alert!

Round 4
Bob: “Sandman checks his Itching Powder this time under the influence of Black Cat’s Bad Luck Aura (subtracts 2 from the d20), and his move is reduced by 1. That’s not enough to cover both figures with his Sandstorm, so he strikes down at Trickster to take care of the X Order Marker. He still has to roll the attack, because Trickster’s ability only triggers when an attack rolls at least a skull. Sandman makes his skull, and the X is revealed.”

David: “Kraven turns out the Light with 3 skulls against a whiffed defense! Now Kraven can use his Bolas.”

Bob: “Doctor Light sits alone in the dark.”

David: “Black Cat’s Cat Burglar and Expert Climbing abilities allow her to climb up the mountain to the other side of Sandman to strike. Sandman isn’t in sand, but blocks the two skulls.”

Bob: “Sandman scratches and turns into his Sandstorm to pass over Trickster. Once again, Sandstorm’s unblockable die is ineffective. Sandman rolls 3 fewer dice and strikes down at Trickster. Trickster blocks the weak skull.”

David: “Sandman should’ve just struck down at Trickster with his full dice. That may have been a blunder. Kraven ensnares Sandman with his Bolas to cause Sandman to lose 2 defense dice until he takes a wound. Kraven fires down and delivers 2 wounds (3 left), removing the Bolas from Sandman. Kraven attacks his Prey a second time, striking another wound (2 left).”

Round 5
David: “Kraven’s Bolas misses, so he strikes down to deal another wound (1 left).”

Bob: “The Itching Powder completely holds Sandman in position, so he strikes up at Black Cat. This time, it’s Black Cat who has the Bad Luck, and she is KO!”

David: “Black Cat plays with a mouse and loses a turn.”

Bob: “Sandman’s rash has cleared for the moment, and he decides to use Sandstorm to break away from Trickster and fact Kraven head-on. It’s blocked.”

David: “Kraven ties Sandman down with his Bolas to reduce his defense by 2, then strikes. Sandman collapses into a mound, and Black Cat treats the poor guy like kitty litter. Bad kitty!”

Bob: “Team Kraven is the Baddest of the Bad! Next, we’ll see which Team Good will face them in the Final Battle!”

David: “Oh, and let’s congratulate C3G on their recent Superman wave!”

Bob: “That’s right! We’ve got some cards to print, don’t we?”

David: “Yep!”

[davidlhsl]

David: “Bob! Look! Up in the sky!”

Bob: “It’s a bird!”

David: “No, it’s a plane!”

Bob: “No, it’s…”

Sock Puppet (appears from behind desk): “Me, ready to assist! Actually, I have the night off. Are we finished with your Superman sight gag?”

David: “Yep! Thanks, Sock Puppet!”

Sock Puppet: “No problem.” (disappears)

David: “I bet you couldn’t get O’Snap to do that.”

Bob: “Don’t even bring that up. Let’s get to our next battle.”

Off-camera announcer: “This Team Bad Battle is brought to you by the good folks at Burt’s Beer. Burt’s Beer: The beer that makes your stomach throw up-up-and-away!”

Team Good Semi-Final: Team Psylocke vs. Team Superman

Spoiler Alert!

Round 1
David: “Psylocke can’t really get anywhere where Superman won’t have height advantage when he lands next to her. She advances and cringes.”

Bob: “Here comes Superman! No, not the recently released Superman, but the original C3G design! The Man of Steel strikes down at Psylocke, though she will get an auto-shield thanks to her Master Martial Artist ability. Psylocke takes 2 wounds (3 left) and is not knocked back.”

David: “Hawkeye pulls back and fires up at Supes with his Trick Arrows Special Attack. He selects the arrow that causes Superman to roll 1 fewer defense die. The arrow simply bounces off.”

Bob: “Superman focuses on Psylocke, and delivers 2 wounds (1 left).”

David: “Psylocke moves to level height with Superman and strikes with her Psychic Knife. The d20 is a 15, which puts a wound on Superman (6 left).”

Bob: “Superman swings, and Psylocke blocks.”

Round 2
Bob: “Superman takes another swing, and the attack is blocked. However, Psylocke is knocked into the tree, and knockback damage takes her down.”

David: “And she loses the turn.”

Bob: “Superman lands next to Hawkeye and strikes. Two wounds (1 left) and 4 knockback spaces.”

David: “Hawkeye steps into the shadow and fires a Trick Arrow. Three perfect skulls blocked.”

Bob: “Superman lands above Hawkeye and strikes down. Hawkeye blocks and is knocked out of the shadow.”

David: “Maybe Hawkeye can fire a Psychic Knife. He simply pulls back away from the mountain to avoid Superman’s height advantage. Another Trick Arrow bounces off Superman’s chest.”

Round 3
Bob: “Superman flies down, and Hawkeye simply can’t do anything against 6 skulls. KO, and Superman will face Team Kraven in the finals.”

Challonge updated

[davidlhsl]

Burt: “Hello. I’m Burt, President and CEO of Burt’s Beer. On behalf of myself and only myself, welcome to the final battle in the Burt’s Beer Battle Bites Tournament. When my employees decide to be more productive, maybe they can join me in welcoming you. You hear that, bums? Get back to work!”

David: “Hey, Sports Fans! I’m Super-Dave, and sitting on a Kryptonite Throne is my buddy, Super-Bob!”

Bob: “Very funny, David. Both Team Kraven and Team Superman have taken down their competition admirably, but they will now face off in a final battle between Good and Evil. Who will win?”

David: “Superman!”

Bob: “You don’t know that.”

David: “No, actually I don’t. Kraven has been pretty brutal, but his team only has one special attack. That attack, Trickster’s Itching Powder Bomb, can only be used once.”

Bob: “That means that blanks will count as shields for Superman. That’ll be tough to beat, though a Bolas might weaken Superman some.”

David: “Let’s head down to the field!”

Off-camera announcer: “This finale is brought to you by the good folks at Burt’s Beer. Burt’s Beer: Are we there yet?”

Final Battle: Team Kraven vs. Team Superman

Spoiler Alert!

Round 1
David: “I think we know Kraven’s Prey, but Superman will go first.”

Bob: “Superman lands above Kraven and strikes down at him, scoring 2 wounds (4 left) and 1 knockback space.”

David: “Black Cat moves around the tree and strikes down. Only one shield for Superman, but he rolls 3 blanks that serve as shields against her normal attack. No damage.”

Bob: “Superman strikes up at Black Cat, but the Cat blocks the measly skull.”

David: “Trickster covers Superman with Itching Powder. No damage, but a nice rash.”

Bob: “Superman ignores Trickster and focuses on the Cat. Superman’s 4 skulls are reduced to 1 due to Black Cat’s Bad Luck Aura, and she blocks the attack.”

David: “Kraven climbs the mountain and misses with his Bolas. He fires down twice at his Prey to no avail.”

Round 2
Bob: “Superman strikes up at Black Cat. Her Aura reduces 6 skulls to 3, but she’ll take 2 wounds (2 left).”

David: “Kraven misses with the Bolas. Nothing.”

Bob: “Superman strikes up, and the 3 skulls are still 3 skulls after the Bad Luck Re-roll, Black Cat takes a wound from the strike, then slams into an elevation change for the KO!”

David: “Black Cat loses the turn.”

Bob: “Superman strikes Trickster, but the X on Kraven cancels.”

David: “Kraven continues to fail the Bolas. He climbs up to maximum range and fires down. Blanks continue to protect the Man of Steel.”

Round 3
Bob: “Superman continues to be distracted by Trickster.”

David: “Kraven can’t make the Bolas throw, then fires down. Nothing.”

Bob: “With Trickster no longer protected, Superman strikes down. Two wounds and 1 knockback.”

David: “The Bolas finally ensnares Superman! He can’t move and must roll 2 less defense dice until he’s wounded. Superman takes 2 wounds (5 left), and the Bolas is removed.”

Bob: “The itching powder isn’t enough to prevent Superman from engaging with Trickster. Trickster takes a wound (1 left) and is knocked into the mountain stream.”

David: “Kraven has to climb down to get range on Superman. Another miss with the Bolas, and his two 3-skull attacks are blocked.”

Round 4
David: “Kraven makes the Bolas, and his attacks are blocked.”

Bob: “Superman is not engaged, as he knocked Trickster away. He’s held into place with the Bolas!”

David: “That means Kraven can continue to strike freely until he wounds Superman. No damage. Turn 3: Nothing.”

Round 5
David: “Kraven continues his strike on a tied-down Superman! Nothing. We may be here a while, folks. Nothing, nothing, nothing. At the end of the round, Kraven’s second attack delivers 3 wounds against a whiffed defense with no blanks. That’s 3 wounds (2 left)!!!”

Round 6
Bob: “Free of the Bolas, Superman avoids any itching to fly up and greet Kraven. It’s a 5-skull against a whiffed defense for the KO! Superman flies down and takes down Trickster for the win! Superman is victorious, and he celebrates by smashing a case of Burt’s Beer over Kraven.”

David: “That’s pretty out of character for Superman, don’t you think?”

Bob: “I think I’d like to smash a case of Burt’s Beer over your head if you keep saying that.”

David: “Man, it has taken a while for me to work through this tournament, and I appreciate everyone’s patience with it as I’ve allowed myself time during this period to sample some of the other neglected board games in my collection. But this has been an amazing series of battles, and I’ve been able to experiment with some great ideas. Plus, our exhibition battles have been a lot of fun as well.”

Bob: “Indeed! David, I hope we’ll meet again.”

David: “So do I, Bob. From all of us a Burt’s Beer’s Battle Headquarters, smash into your own case of the brew that stews in your belly: Burt’s. Good night!”

The End
And a hearty congratulations to C3G’s newest Hero, quozl!

Challonge updated

[IAmBatman]

All right! Nice Super-win!

[Red Eyed Jedi]

Superman is a Champion after all, no wonder he won it all!

These Battle Bites sized games are great for trying out new figures, that I wouldn't have thought to try on my own. Thanks for introducing it to our gaming group.