Growing Up

[A_Train]

I handled it easily, I did not even go to graduation. Getting out of highschool is a good eye opener for how the world really works. You can spend a lot less time worrying about what people think, and how you'll be judged for doing or saying something.

jschilds paints a somewhat bleak situation of losing friends, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Those that are close will stay close. I may be in a bit of an anomalous situation, but my wife, and 5 of my closest friends, that I still see at least once every week or so are all people I was friends with in highschool. I guess I'm just saying that its not really the end of the world, in fact, I think you'll love life after highschool

Now, as far as worrying about losing all your best friends, some of that will likely happen. You are probably counting upwards of 10 or 12 people as best friends. That may well get halved, but I wouldn't worry about losing contact with everyone.

[jschild]

I wouldn't say bleak as much as teenagers tend to have an overly simplistic view of friends (those that are in immediate area, no real effort is needed to maintain contact, guaranteed interests on some level (school/classes/local events).

That all changes as soon as you leave to another area. In the short term, if you put tons of effort (traveling back home regularly, hitting everyone up, etc) this can be mitigated somewhat, but eventually you are going to be left with a smaller core of real friends from your HS days and some people you see on Facebook.

You will be, hopefully, if you put the effort in, meeting many new people at college, where eventually the cycle repeats. Now you'll have a small core of true friends from HS and college and again, leftover facebook friends who you will rarely see at all and go "Oh nice" when you hear they are married or had kids.

EDIT: Also list to Mr. Migraine, he's got it down pat and agree 100% with his advice.

[Gulp]

This is the last part of a graduation speech that Patton Oswalt gave:


“Advice is everywhere in this world. Your friends, family, teachers and strangers are all happy to give it.

“A lesson is yours and yours alone. Some of them take years to recognize and utilize.

“My lesson was this – experience, and reward and glory are meaningless unless you’re open and present with the people you share them with in the moment.”

"I completely ignored the deeper lesson which is do not judge, and get outside yourself, and realize that everyone and everything has its own story, and something to teach you, and that they’re also trying – consciously or unconsciously – to learn and grow from you and everything else around them. And they’re trying with the same passion and hunger and confusion that I was feeling – no matter where they were in their lives, no matter how old or how young.

“Please don’t mistake miles traveled, and money earned, and fame accumulated for who you are.”

“First off: Reputation, Posterity and Cool are traps. They’ll drain the life from your life. Reputation, Posterity and Cool = Fear.

“Let me put that another way. Bob Hope once said, ‘When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. When I turned forty, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. And then I made it to sixty, and I realized no one was ever thinking of me.’

“Secondly: The path is made by walking. And when you’re walking that path, you choose how things affect you. You always have that freedom, no matter how much your liberty it curtailed. You…get to choose…how things affect you.”

“And lastly, and I guarantee this. It’s the one thing I know ‘cause I’ve experienced it:

“There Is No Them."

[Oh Yeah! I'm Here]

All of your advice has been amazing. I luckily have a very small core of "Bestfriends" already anyways, since I am not one to keep people close to me at all. Thank you, and I will do my best.

[Killer Lawnmower]

Wow. Way to freak me out here guys. Not really...ish.

As a Freshman in High School (9th grade is actually at the Junior High here) its interesting to read about what's coming up in life, and I'm glad I can listen to people who have been through it already share their thoughts. I hope that what are now my bestfriends will stay that way because they are just a great bunch of people. They always tease me about the..."strictness" I classify friends and such, but reading this make me laugh because they have a much different way of viewing friends than what all of you have said.

Thanks for your insight.

[nate the dawg]

Oh, man...life comes at you pretty fast right out of high school, whether you find yourself at college or going to work!

Whatever comes your way, don't sweat it; the truly happy person is the one who can enjoy the scenery when forced to take a detour.

I was one of the guys that was blessed with tons of friends in school. We had a pretty large circle of guys that hung out and gamed together. Most of those guys were sweet-talked into joining the navy by a recruiter who would bring beer to our parties! I, however, had a bride and newborn son, and so had no desire to leave for goodness knows how long.

Along the way, my wife's older brother became my best friend, and he still is...13 years later. So, he's stuck with me about a decade longer than his sister!

Anyway, at my father's suggestion, I went to work at a state mental health facility (his profession for more than 20 years), and I'm still there, but with a different wife and one more kid than I'd had previously. It's certainly not the career I'd had in mind when I was working toward an engineering degree (through the magnate program the school district offered), but it's a job in which I found purpose and a chance to enrich the lives of troubled youth. I found my place.

And of all the guys I used to run with in school, there are even a couple of them that were true friends; I know this because we still hang out and game every weekend.

To make a long story short (sorry, I hadn't meant to drop an autobiography on you), you never know what changes life will bring, but I promise there will be many. The trick is to enjoy the ups, endure the downs, and always take the lessons presented to heart. It's a long road, and the idea is keep on driving.

Best of luck to you!