The Joke Thread

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

on the west coast of the US, when he discovers a genie lamp buried in the sand. Quite excitedly he picks it up, rubs it and a genie appears.
Genie: Good day, I am a genie! I am not like the genies from the movies though, I can only grant you one wish Man: That's superb! I've never been to Hawaii, and I'd love to go. But I'm very very afraid of flying, so can you create a highway bridge from here to the island?
Genie: Hm, that sounds like a very big task, even for me! Is there anything else you would rather want?
Man: It would be nice to understand how women think?
Genie: ...That highway... do you want it to be a 3-lane or a 4-lane?

[orgsbane]

Originally Posted by Joseph Sweeney

*snicker*

Lemme try again.


A babies laughter is the most soothing sound in the world.
Unless it's 12:00 at night....

And you don't have a baby.

[Balantai]

What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question and a joke?

[Balantai]

Job Interviewer: "What would you consider to be your greatest strength?"
Interviewee: "I am a very organized person. This allows me to multi-task very well. I would consider this to be my strongest quality."
Job Interviewer: "That's great. What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?"
Interviewee: "Honesty."
Job Interviewer: "Honesty? I don't consider that to be a weakness at all."
Interviewee: "I don't give a crap what you think."

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

What cars do cows drive?

Spoiler Alert!

Cattleacs

[orgsbane]

Multiple Choice Question:

Which one is most unlike the others:

A. Ph.D in Mathmatical Biology

B. Ph.D in Theoretical Mathmatics

C. Ph.D in Statistics

D. A pepperoni pizza

Spoiler Alert!

The answer is B. The difference between B. and the others answers is that the other answers can feed a family!

[MegaSilver]

orgsbane, there's actually a meme for that you could have used. Like, you know, where it actually came from.

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

Why did the mechanic go to art school?

Spoiler Alert!

Because he wanted to learn how to make a van go!

[orgsbane]

Originally Posted by MegaSilver

orgsbane, there's actually a meme for that you could have used. Like, you know, where it actually came from.

That wasn't a meme, it was just a picture with words on it. It was a false meme. False memes do not deserve to be shared!




Actually, I always post on my phone, and getting that picture would have taken way to long.

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

Mahatma Gandhi was a peculiar person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very bad breath.
He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


*If you dont get it, read the bold part out loud*

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

"Frank, if you have 20 dollars and Bill takes away 14. What would you have?” said the teacher.
"A fight!” answers Frank.