Help With Wurdz

[Dad_Scaper]

The "full movement" language will never get past the SoV. You need to use a fixed number there, and use "place" language instead of "move" language. You can modify Jotun's Throw language, for instance. You've written it in a pretty casual style that makes sense to you, but it is not up to the SoV standards.

I wouldn't even mention something like that, but you did say it's in a "pre-SoV" posture. Find a corresponding power, such as this one,

Spoiler Alert!

RAMMING 6
When a small or medium figure rolls defense die and is not destroyed by a normal or special attack from Augamo, immediately roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a 6 or higher, you may Ram the figure. The player who controls the Rammed figure must place that figure, if possible, on an empty space within two spaces of it's current location, within clear sight of Augamo but not adjacent to him. The space must be on the same level as or lower then it's current location. A Rammed figure never takes any leaving engagement attacks. A non-flying figure moved lower by Ramming can receive any falling damage that may apply.

, modify it as little as possible, and see how it goes.

Whatever you end up with will be a big power, text-wise. It's a lot to put that on the same card with Death Song, which is also going to be text-heavy. I would pick one to keep and drop the other.

[kolakoski]

Well met!

"As I understand it, she sings magically disorienting and enfeebling songs with Aria of Despair until she's about to die, at which point she switches to the song that kills everyone who hears it. She readily spreads mayhem across the battlefield, and then spends her last moments sacrificing herself to ensure that her enemies suffer just a little bit more. That's very fitting for Valkrill's army." ~ Blue Trails

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

Whatever you end up with will be a big power, text-wise. It's a lot to put that on the same card with Death Song, which is also going to be text-heavy. I would pick one to keep and drop the other.

Is there were some way to make Aria of [Whatever] appropriate and short? Originally, I was going to merely reduce defense by 1. Maybe still do that, but nerf it with a 20-sider roll, a la Whip 12?

[Dad_Scaper]

Ok, cool. I'm happy to help with wording, but it's probably a good time to remind our gentle readers of a couple of things about this particular thread.

1. The focus of this thread is wording. Not rules editing. I'm really not an expert in that.

2. I'll do a little workshopping, but ultimately my goal in this space is to work with power language and help make it as clear and as well-written as posible. Again, without particular regard for the body of Heroscape "law."

3. If a unit is headed to the SoV, I might offer some suggestions that I think might help, and I might shade some feedback toward that goal, but ultimately I'm still just helping with wording as described in #2, above.

[kolakoski]

Well met!

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

Ok, cool. I'm happy to help with wording, but it's probably a good time to remind our gentle readers of a couple of things about this particular thread.

1. The focus of this thread is wording. Not rules editing. I'm really not an expert in that.

2. I'll do a little workshopping, but ultimately my goal in this space is to work with power language and help make it as clear and as well-written as posible. Again, without particular regard for the body of Heroscape "law."

3. If a unit is headed to the SoV, I might offer some suggestions that I think might help, and I might shade some feedback toward that goal, but ultimately I'm still just helping with wording as described in #2, above.

I hear you. Thanks just the same.

[Dad_Scaper]

Sure thing! With that throat-clearing out of the way, what do you want to do? Combine the powers into one? I know you're still workshopping the design in your own thread. I want to help, I just want to know exactly what I'm working on.

Thanks!

[kolakoski]

Well met!

I think Hjordis Muirgen good as is for testing, letting Aria of Despair go.


Hjordis Muirgen
General: Valkrill
Demon, Unique Hero, Warrior, Merciless, Medium 5
Life 4, Move 6, Range 1, Attack 4, Defense 4

Singing Sword
Range 1, Attack 4
When Hjordis Muirgen attacks with Singing Sword and inflicts a wound, roll a 20-sided die for additional wounding. If you roll a 1-9, the defending figure receives no additional wounds from Singing Sword. If you roll of 10-19, add an additional wound to the defending figure's Army Card and roll again for Singing Sword additional wounding. On a roll of 20, destroy the defending figure.

Spreading Death Song
When Hjordis Muirgen would be destroyed, do not remove her from the battlefield. Hjordis then sings the Spreading Death Song. When a figure sings the Spreading Death Song, roll 1 Combat Die for each opponent's figure within 4 spaces on the singing figure. If you roll a skull, that figure receives a wound. If you roll a blank or a Valkyrie symbol, that figure sings the Spreading Death Song once all dice for the current singing figure have been rolled. If you roll a blank or a Valkyrie symbol for multiple figures in one song, you may choose the order in which the figures sing. A figure can only be affected by Spreading Death Song once per turn. When all dice for every figure singing the Spreading Death Song have been rolled, remove Hjordis Muirgen from the battlefield.


P.S.: Just wish I had a better name for Spreading Death Song.

[Dad_Scaper]

Dirge of Spreading Death

For instance. That kind of brainstorming is precisely what I'm here for.

Now I'll look at the powers.

[Dad_Scaper]

Chorus of Spreading Death
When Hjordis Muirgen is destroyed, before removing her from the battlefield, roll the 20-sided die once for each figure within 2 clear-sight spaces of her. If you roll a 1-10, place one wound marker on that figure. If you roll an 11-20, that figure is a Singer. Roll the 20-sided die once for each figure within 2 clear-sight spaces of a Singer. If you roll a 1-10, place one wound marker on that figure. If you roll an 11-20, that figure is now a Singer. A figure can only be affected by Spreading Death Song once per turn. When all dice for every figure singing the Chorus of Spreading Death have been rolled, remove Hjordis Muirgen from the battlefield.

Using combat dice for this type of thing introduces all kinds of problems. The d20 is safer.

Thoughts?

[kolakoski]

Well met!

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

Chorus of Spreading Death
When Hjordis Muirgen is destroyed, before removing her from the battlefield, roll the 20-sided die once for each figure within 2 clear-sight spaces of her. If you roll a 1-10, place one wound marker on that figure. If you roll an 11-20, that figure is a Singer. Roll the 20-sided die once for each figure within 2 clear-sight spaces of a Singer. If you roll a 1-10, place one wound marker on that figure. If you roll an 11-20, that figure is now a Singer. A figure can only be affected by Spreading Death Song once per turn. When all dice for every figure singing the Chorus of Spreading Death have been rolled, remove Hjordis Muirgen from the battlefield.

Using combat dice for this type of thing introduces all kinds of problems. The d20 is safer.

Thoughts?

Make it opponents' figures. Any reason you changed it to 2 from 4 spaces? I like Dirge though.

[Arrow Grut]

Spoiler Alert!

Zettian Scrapyard

Unique Hero
Soulborg
Factory
Relentless
Huge 12

Life 1
Move 0
Range 7
Attack 4
Defense 10

??? points

Magnetised Scrap Collection

Whenever a unique large or huge soulborg hero is destroyed, and there are no soulborgs on this army card, you may place that figure on this army card. If there is a soulborg hero on this army card, roll a 20-sided die. If you roll a 13 or higher, you may place the destroyed figure on this army card.

Scrap Bombardment

After moving and before attacking with Zettian Scrapyard, you may remove a Unique Soulborg Hero from this army card. Roll attack dice equal to that figure's defense. For each skull rolled, your opponent must place a wound on a figure they control. Instead of removing a Hero from this army card, you may instead destroy Zettian Scrapyard and roll attack dice equal to it's defense instead.

Vengeance Protocol

When this unit is destroyed, you may place a unique hero that follows Utgar that you controlled on this army card adjacent to Zettain Scrapyard. Then, move all order markers from Zettian Scrapyard to that army card.

Looking to codify this guy into a card, please let me know if I have any errors! Thank you for the work y'all do.

[Vydar_XLIII]

Originally Posted by Arrow Grut

Spoiler Alert!

Zettian Scrapyard

Unique Hero
Soulborg
Factory
Relentless
Huge 12

Life 1
Move 0
Range 7
Attack 4
Defense 10

??? points

Magnetised Scrap Collection

Whenever a unique large or huge soulborg hero is destroyed, and there are no soulborgs on this army card, you may place that figure on this army card. If there is a soulborg hero on this army card, roll a 20-sided die. If you roll a 13 or higher, you may place the destroyed figure on this army card.

Scrap Bombardment

After moving and before attacking with Zettian Scrapyard, you may remove a Unique Soulborg Hero from this army card. Roll attack dice equal to that figure's defense. For each skull rolled, your opponent must place a wound on a figure they control. Instead of removing a Hero from this army card, you may instead destroy Zettian Scrapyard and roll attack dice equal to it's defense instead.

Vengeance Protocol

When this unit is destroyed, you may place a unique hero that follows Utgar that you controlled on this army card adjacent to Zettain Scrapyard. Then, move all order markers from Zettian Scrapyard to that army card.

Looking to codify this guy into a card, please let me know if I have any errors! Thank you for the work y'all do.

Here are my edits. Some of it is capitalization and adding words like “value” and “figure” where needed.

ZETTIAN SCRAPYARD
Utgar / Alpha Prime / Soulborg / Unique Hero / Factory / Relentless / Huge 12
Life 1 / Move 0 / Range 7 / Attack 4 / Defense 10 / Points ###

Magnetised Scrap Collection (Arrow Grut version, corrected)
Whenever a Unique large or huge Soulborg Hero is destroyed and there are no Soulborg figures on this Army Card, you may place the destroyed figure on this Army Card. If there is a Soulborg hero on this Army Card, roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a 13 or higher, you may place the destroyed figure on this army card.

Magnetised Scrap Collection (Vydar_XLIII version, shortened)
Whenever a Unique large or huge Soulborg Hero is destroyed, roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a 13 or higher, you may place the destroyed figure on this Army Card. If there are no Soulborg figures on this Army Card when the figure is destroyed you may add 12 to your roll.

Scrap Bombardment
Before attacking normally, choose either Zettian Scrapyard or a Soulborg Figure on its Army Card. Roll Attack dice equal to the chosen figure's Defense value. For each skull rolled, your opponent must place one wound on a figure they control. After all wounds are placed, remove the chosen figure from Zettian Scrapyard’s Army Card or if Zettian Scrapyard was chosen, destroy it.

Vengeance Protocol
When Zettian Scrapyard would be destroyed, before removing it from the battlefield, you may choose the figure of a Unique Hero that follows Utgar on this Army Card and place it adjacent to Zettain Scrapyard under your control. Then, move all Order Markers from Zettian Scrapyard to that figure’s Army Card and remove Zettian Scrapyard from the battlefield.

Your version of Magnetized Scrap Collection is pretty good as is. I made a second version that saves a line or two of text on the card. You might need it with all the text on this.

I rearranged Scrap Bombardment so it is understood more linearly. Your version is essentially “Do X to do Y. Instead of X you can do Z to do Y.” My version is “Do A or B to do C, then do D or E.

Vengeance Protocol is missing some clarifying wording. You can’t place a figure adjacent to a figure that has already been destroyed. I also think that it shouldn’t matter if you originally controlled the figure you’re placing back and worded it accordingly. If you feel differently, I can rephrase it for you.

Lastly, a couple of suggestions. Should there be a range on both Scrap powers? And I don’t think “Relentless” fits this design all that well. I like “Militaristic” and “Precise” better. Or if you want something new, maybe “Industrious”.

[Arrow Grut]

Originally Posted by Vydar_XLIII

Here are my edits. Some of it is capitalization and adding words like “value” and “figure” where needed.

Your version of Magnetized Scrap Collection is pretty good as is. I made a second version that saves a line or two of text on the card. You might need it with all the text on this.

I rearranged Scrap Bombardment so it is understood more linearly. Your version is essentially “Do X to do Y. Instead of X you can do Z to do Y.” My version is “Do A or B to do C, then do D or E.

Vengeance Protocol is missing some clarifying wording. You can’t place a figure adjacent to a figure that has already been destroyed. I also think that it shouldn’t matter if you originally controlled the figure you’re placing back and worded it accordingly. If you feel differently, I can rephrase it for you.

Lastly, a couple of suggestions. Should there be a range on both Scrap powers? And I don’t think “Relentless” fits this design all that well. I like “Militaristic” and “Precise” better. Or if you want something new, maybe “Industrious”.

Thank you for the edits. I definitely prefer your versions of Bombardment and Collection more.

I think you're right relentless doesn't really fit. It also implies weird synergies. I like industrious or militaristic, I'll think on it.

I'm not sure on ranges for the collection. Maybe, I think I'd like to test first, and if it feels funky thematically and mechanically then I'll try it.

For the bombardment I think adding a range actually makes it stronger, at least in theory. You can then force wounds on the things closest to your startzone. I think testing is required here too. There is precedent in an official scenario with an ice storm (different thematic damage source however) of this effect that doesn't have a range so I'd like to try it out and see.