Gulp's Abilities Not Worth Activating

[Ullar/utgar own]

Originally Posted by Gulp

In the spirit of Gulp's Glyphs Not Worth Grabbing, I present...

Gulp's Abilities Not Worth Activating

1. Hover - Add 1 to your height. Instead of moving and attacking you may activate Hover.
2. Annoying - This figure receives an Annoyance Marker whenever it becomes adjacent to any other figure. Your opponent may remove an Annoyance Marker, forcing your figure to take a free attack on your very annoying character. Roll one die for each annoyance marker removed.
3. Doggin Whispering - When adjacent to Dund you glimpse the sadness in his heart that no one uses him in tournaments. His sorrow consumes your figure, and your figure gently caresses the coarse fur of Dund's neck. Dund's muscles tense with anticipation of attack, and when no attack comes, he relaxes and farts a little.
4. Summon Door - On a roll of 17 or higher on the 20-sided die you may summon the door from the gate of the Fortress of the Archkyrie expansion. Lay the door on the board. Any hexes touched by the door are impassable. The door may be attacked as normal.
5. Summon Cat - Before each round on a roll of 7 or higher on a 20-sided die your may choose a cat to be placed on the battlefield. Your opponent chooses the location of the cat.
6. Uppity Women Unite Special Attack - Before attacking read this out loud:
7. "Instead of doing laundry this weekend, all female players can do the dishes." If you survive the attack of all female player(s) or figure(s) within earshot you should probably just shut up and choose not to attack.
8. Freedom of Choice - Instead of moving, you may choose not to.
9. "I Get That All the Time" Defense - Enables Master Woo to avoid boosting a nearby monk by assuring the monk that he is simply Mister Woo, a nice man of Hawaiian descent who has thinks meditation sounds boring.
10. Marro Water Notarizing - On the roll of 10 or higher, any marro on a water space instantly becomes a certified Notary Public.
11. Improved Deathwalker 7K Explosion - On a roll of 1-3 Deathwalker does one wound to itself. On a roll of 4 or higher, Deathwalker 7000 does 50 wounds to every enemy figure on the table. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter because you will always roll a 2.
    
    Abilities Submitting by Fellow Scapers
12. Grok Training - Submitted by a Sup3rS0n1c and spiteofthedice
13. Taelord special - Your base attack and defense is 3.You now cost 180 points. All abilities are lost and replaced with Attack Aura. Submitted by Poseidon's trident
14. Walking - This ability allows you to do something between flying and tunneling. Note: It is definitely NOT the opposite of flying. Nooooooo waaaaaay. Submitted by Poseidon's trident
15. Road Rage - You may only use this ability when driving a car. Wait, cars can't be summoned to Valhalla so completely ignore this ability. Sorry for the special ability spot we took up on this units card.Here will make it up to you by lowering this cards point value from 100 to 80. Now show your friends that you can now have Otonashi and Isamu. Look at their face. Sorry, we will let you play now. Submitted by Poseidon's trident
16. Ripped Pants of Awesomeness Summoning: Roll a d20. On a roll of 15 or higher, if Jotun is on the battlefield, you summon his Ripped Pants of Awesomeness. You become as awesome as Jotun. Jotun now has it in for you and will target you for his attack if possible. Submitted by cmgames
17. Swim Break - After moving onto a water tile, you must end your movement. Submitted by Sup3rS0n1c
18. Bad Karma - If you won your last game, after rolling any dice, any opponent that has any form of hostile feelings toward the roller may change the dice to any side of their choice. If there is more than one such opponent, they all get to do it. If there are none, get a bystander that is rooting for the opponent to win to do so. Submitted by Sup3rS0n1c
19. Slow Play of Lameness - On a D20 roll of 8 or more your slow play to the point where your opponent falls asleep. On a D20 roll of 14 or more you slow play enough to warrant your opponent strangling you. On a D20 roll of 20, you slow play so much you actually go back in time. If playing in a tournament add 8 to your D20 roll. Submitted by Utgarsrage
20. Precision - This character may target another character. Submitted by StarofEarendi
21. Imprecision - This figure may target itself with attacks. Submitted by spiteofthedice
22. Sore Loser - If you are getting beaten soundly in a game you can roll the d20. Roll 1-5 and say "I couldn't roll a skull/shield if my life depenede on it" Roll a 6-14 and say "Are you flippin kidding me?" Roll a 15-19 and you can then move all of your remaining figures to the highest point on the map and surround all of your enemies figures with molten lava tiles. Roll a 20 and flip the whole table over and storm out. Submitted by Onacara
23. Victory Dance - If you win, roll the D20. 1-5 Dance the Robot. 6-10 Dance the Krump. 11-15, dance the Hip-hop. 16-19, Break Dance! 20 you may choose any dance you like. Submitted by Simpsons Scaper
24. Dice of Death - If you are getting beaten soundly in a game you can roll the d20. Roll 1-5 and roll attack/defense across the board, knocking over several figures. Roll a 6-14 and roll attack/defense dice off the table and onto the floor. Roll a 15-19 and you roll attack/defense dice so hard they scatter off into another room. Roll a 20 one of your attack/defense dice bounces off your opponent's dice tower, rebounds of a wall, skips off the table and strikes your opponent in the forehead, knocking him out. Draw. Submitted by Dennys
25. Uno - When your next to last figure is destroyed, you must say "Uno" to let everyone know that you only have one figure remaining. If you fail to do so, you must randomly draw a figure from the dead figure pile. Submitted by jbbnbsmith
26. Polite apology - In the event you cannot keep up with the submissions on your thread you may post a polite apology. +rep for doing so. Submitted by Onacara [ -Gulp]
27. UN Ceasefire Agreement - This ability has no effect. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
28. UNLEASH THE GLYPH!! - On a roll of 1 or higher, place a Glyph of Brandar on the battlefield. The Brandar glyph has absolutely no effect, but it looks pretty! The Glyph of Brandar can only be placed if there is another glyph on the field. Submitted by gorthan313
29. Walk the Dog - Castle Required. Every 4th round you must leave the castle and stand on a grass hex for one complete turn (while the dog is doing his business). You cannot attack that round. Leave a marker on that hex and if another figure stands in that space he loses a turn to clean his shoes/boots. Submitted by ewabbie
30. Nova - Once per game, you can cause the sun to go nova. Everyone dies. Game over. Submitted by Manatee
31. Freak Speed - After reveling an order marker, you may roll the 20 sided die. If you roll a 2-20, you may move an additional 10 hexes, you must end your move on the hex you were on before rolling the 20 sided die. On a roll of a 1, this power has no effect. Submitted by clan cambell
32. +Rep - After moving and instead of attacking, you may choose any figure within six clear sight spaces of Forumite. Roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a number, place a green rep marker on that figure's Army Card. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
33. Forget Frenzy - After taking a turn with any Army Card, you may forget to roll for Frenzy. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
34. Vertically Challenged - You may not steal a cookie from the Cookie Jar, even when adjacent to the Cookie Jar. Submitted by Shedim Kabal
35. Lazy Eye Special Attack - Range 10. Attack 1. Roll the attack die. If a skull is rolled, your opponent may choose any small or medium figure within ten line of sight spaces of Lazy Eye Liz to receive the wound. The chosen figure may not roll defense dice. Lazy Eye Liz cannot be affect by her own Lazy Eye Special Attack. Submitted by Shedim Kabal

Feel free to submit any abilities not worth activating that you've come up with.

i like doggin whispering. it is cruel to dund but also hilarious. by the way imprecision would be good for a high defense,explosion,swarmed,high life unit.

[Simpsons Scaper]

Ooooooh! Here's one!
Those dice Are Rigged!-After losing, roll the D20 just to prove you always roll 1-5. Of course this time, you are guaranteed to roll a 20.
Look That Way!- Trick your opponent into looking the other way, then grab the first figure you find and put it on the board as one you control. Groan to yourself when you realized it was Deathwalker 7-9000.

[goaliescaper]

UNENGAGE- this figure may choose to leave an engagement, they still roll for leaving engagement attacks.

[Anitar]

Armageddon Panic Button - if this is your only living figure, roll the d20. If you roll 6+, then WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! Everyone must panic and forget about the Heroscape game going on.

Five days later, you realize that you're not all going to die and go back to the game. Then you all die.

[Anitar]

Dragonforce - turn your computer's speakers all the way up and play as much Dragonforce music as you can find on the internet, starting with Flame of Youth

[Anitar]

Shoe Throw: Keep throwing shoes at the board and removing everything knocked over until you run out of shoes. Obviously, you're only going to hit your own figures.

Reckless Abandon Special Attack: Range 8 Attack 50: If your opponent is a Venoc Viper or rolls at least one skull, shield, blank, or Valkyrie symbol, all skulls count as wounds on the attacking figure. Cannot be used by Mind Exchanged figures.

Special Attack: Range 0 Attack 7000: Yes, you can only attack yourself.

Light-speed Blitz: Move all your figures up to 50 spaces. Everyone who doesn't land in a worse position than they started gets 30 wounds.

Curse you, Door!: When your roll would destroy the door, all your dice switch to blanks, all the door's switch to shields, and the door gets both Counter Strike (Charos version) and Evil Eye Defense.

Revenge, a Dish Best Served Cold: All your opponents' destroyed figures are revived with full life and 10 extra attack and defense. After you lose soundly, all the other players get ice cream.

Pants Dance: Sorry, no dancing. Just put on extra pairs of pants.

What am I, Four? You must fill in a coloring book. The other players judge your artistry. If they think you did a bad job, you are shamed.

Animal Fiesta: All animals in the vicinity party on the battlefield. Knocked-over figures are destroyed.

Betrayal: Your teammate(s) betray you and join the enemy. And 5 squads of 4th Massachusetts Line join them.

Meow!: Roll the 20-sided die. If you roll 1-20, you lose. If you roll 21, meow as loud as you can for as long as you can. All your figures are destroyed when you stop.

Redefined Objectives: Your opponent can change his/her victory condition, even to "At any point in the round, if you have at least one figure with at least 0 Life left, you win".

[White Noise]

Friendly Fire
This figure can only attack figures you control.

Overrated
Everyone must talk about how great a certain unit is, even if it's the most inflexible one in the game.

That unit costs too much!
Everyone must complain about a certain unit on the board has too high of a point cost. If the target of this ability is Isamu or Otonashi, you may slap your opponents for their stupidity.

Hey Listen! Hey!
If you activate this ability, all the people in the room must gang up on you while you tell them that the door is locked and you need a key and that this wall has vines on it and you can climb it. If you manage to survive the onslaught you must talk about saving the great deku tree for the remainder of the game.

[SuperflyTNT]

Runa's Craptastattack
Range Unlimited, Attack 0

Roll a 20 sided die. On a roll of anything, the player will realize how completely craptastic Runa is, and remove her from the table.

[StarofEarendil]

Originally Posted by SuperflyTNT

Runa's Craptastattack
Range Unlimited, Attack 0

Roll a 20 sided die. On a roll of anything, the player will realize how completely craptastic Runa is, and remove her from the table.

Except Killercactus.

[chas]

DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS EFFECT:

If you like the idea of D&D Scape: Immediately reinforce your team with any three Custom D&D Minis Figures you own in your start zone (if before Master Set #3 comes out), or any three figures from Master Set #3 after it comes out.

OR:

If you don't like the idea of D&D Scape: Your opponent removes any three figures on your team that he/she feels could possibly fit in with a D&D theme.

[SuperflyTNT]

Onion Knight Special Attack:
Range 5
Roll a D20. Upon a roll of 11 or more yell, "You're Not Funny" and the opponent loses all order markers this round. If your opponent's girlfriend is watching the game, she must get up and leave.

[Onion Knight]

There is a special place in hell for both you and that heckler, Pete.