B-Day Present Custom

[Tarvalon]

Hey guys,

I'm designing a custom for my little brother as a birthday present and I was hoping to get some feedback. I've been reading around the threads here for a couple days and have seen a lot of customs, nice work guys! I wish I had some of those to play with myself .

He's a big fan of Sgt. Drake (SotM) and his name is Jacob, so the name was easy. The idea is to create something similar to Sgt. Drake but still unique, and something that's like my little brother at the same time. He's fast and tough, so I designed the card to be just that. This is my first custom here as well, so I'm sure the card as it stands needs quite a bit of work. Finally, I went through the list of special abilities from the first stickied thread here and I don't think I copied anything, but two of the abilities are very similar to ones currently out there.

Without further ado:

Sgt. Jake v. 2.2




v. 1.0


The first ability is obviously very close to 'Tough', but I didn't like how it only prevented damage from regular attacks instead of preventing wounds from any source (falling, Cyprien, etc), so I re-named and re-worded it. The second ability I'm sure isn't something new and unique, but I feel it fits the theme perfectly. The third ability is just a clone of 'Stealth Leap' without the stealth part, which I'm sure you all figured out well before reading this . Anyways, any help is very much appreciated, let me know what you think! I'll be checking in often of course!

Thanks,

Tarvalon

** EDIT **

Is there anyone here that makes customs themselves that may be interested in making this custom for me, for a price of course? I'd like something that looks (mostly) officially made and would feel more comfortable turning this over to someone with more experience than trying to do it all myself. Please shoot me a PM if you're interested!

[Tarvalon]

Hey everyone, haven't heard anything yet and I figured that's since the card isn't realy complete. So, I added Sgt. Drake's picture and filled out all the missing info, the updated picture can be seen above. I'd really appreciate any comments you have, good or bad. Every little bit helps.

Thanks in advance,

Tarvalon

[DeadEye]

Couple Questions.

why 2 range? its usually 1 or 5 and higher (except the Moltarn). I just think that interesting.

Also why a Scout?

Also on the Tough as Nails you need to re word the last sentence.
'Sgt. Jake always takes one less wound when receiving wounds greater than one.'
something like that.

Last, in Leap it is correct that he will take leaving engagement attacks (since you didn't state that he wouldn't)

I hope this helps some, srry i won't be able to help on the points though.

DeadEye

[Tarvalon]

Thanks for the feedback!

Regarding the 2 range, I envision him using something larger than a traditional sword (staff or a spear), so I gave him a range of 2. I thought hard about adding an ability giving him an engagement range of 2 as well, but thought this would make him too good at holding passes, walkways, etc, so I left that out.

The Scout class is due to his high movement and ease of getting around the battlefield. With a move of 7, leap and hit n' run he can really traverse the map quickly regardless of what is around him. Would something else be more fitting here?

Tough as Nails - Here's the idea: No matter how many wounds Sgt. Jake would take, he takes one less. If he would take just one, he takes none instead. Any suggestions for wording to fit that idea are very welcome.

Leap: Yes, he takes leaving engagement attacks. Should I explicitly declare that he *does* take leaving engagement attacks or is this assumed?

Regarding points, no problem. What you posted so far has been very helpful. Anyone out there that's good at point values mind pointing me in the right direction?

Thanks!

[DeadEye]

k, I like the idea of 2 range then. now that it makes sense. (once there's a fig)

Well I was just wondering why. I mean I don't know what the sculpt is that you want it to look like. So i guess anything could go since you don't have a sculpt yet.

Here then 'Sgt. Jake always takes one less wound for any attack.' and you can make it even more specific and rule out Volcanoe damage (not an attack) wording would need to be switched a bit then.

No, I was just making sure you knew that. If its not stated, original rules apply.

I would just have to say though that hes a bit overpriced. Since his powers are mostly passive (doesn't have to do with attacking) you should lower his points alot. I would ask someone more skilled in custom units for a better estimate, but I think hes overpriced by quite a bit.

DeadEye

[Tarvalon]

Alright, I'll take that into consideration. I placed a pretty big premium on the first ability since it effectively increases his defense by 3 and provides protection against things such as falling damage, leaving engagements and Cyprien's Chilling Touch, but I can see where you're coming from as well. I'll go back and modify a few things and see what people think. Thanks again, and keep it coming guys!

[Tarvalon]

Updated Sgt. Jake in the first post.

[Nadom]

A few thoughts:
1) I like the first version better. "Hold the Line" is a little (how shall I put this) clunky and difficult to make work.
2) Tough as Nails is a great ability. I think it might be better worded as "Any time Sgt. Jake receives wounds, you may ignore one wound."
3) You're a way cool brother and it's awesome that you're doing this for your bro. I'd want a big brother like you. If I have any more rep to give today, it's yours.

[Tarvalon]

Fair points Nadom, I added the 2nd to better clarify the feel that his range attack is simply from a larger melee weapon than an actual ranged weapon, but I suppose the figure itself is supposed to do that more so than the wording on the cards.

1) Fair point - removed. I could go either way on keeping/removing this one. If it's hard to implement, it's easy to cut.

2) I really like your wording for the Tough As Nails ability, mind if I steal it? I used it on the updated card, so I hope not!

3) Thanks!

I updated Sgt. Jake again in the first post. Anyone have some ideas on a good base point value? I'm going to try and test him tomorrow in some 1v1 situations against a number of different heroes to see if I can't figure out a good base value. I can't really test him out though since the only person I play with is my little brother, and that would kind of be giving things away...

[Nadom]

Originally Posted by Tarvalon

2) I really like your wording for the Tough As Nails ability, mind if I steal it? I used it on the updated card, so I hope not!

3) Thanks!

2) It's totally ok with me.

3) You're welcome!

[Archkyrie11]

Originally Posted by Tarvalon

I updated Sgt. Jake again in the first post. Anyone have some ideas on a good base point value? I'm going to try and test him tomorrow in some 1v1 situations against a number of different heroes to see if I can't figure out a good base value. I can't really test him out though since the only person I play with is my little brother, and that would kind of be giving things away...

I proxied him using the fig but your abilities.
I would say 100-120 pts would be good.

(Man he was good against Hulk though)

[Dredd Stev]

Cool idea for a custom... love that name!

I'd price him at 125, but I've only theoryscaped the hell out of it at work.

Keep up the good work though!