The Houses of Heroscape

The Houses of Heroscape
Or Who's Your General?

My sons and I started playing heroscape when they were little. We play our own weird version- and one of its weird aspects is the whole “summoning generals” theme. I'm familiar with the backstory mythology but my sons never really bought into that. Instead, over time, Jandar, Utgar, Ullar, etc have evolved from something quasi-religious (they first decided that Jandar was a god) into something like tribes, or nations. And then into something like “houses”- like at Hogwarts. That is probably the best description for the current state of our game.

My fifteen year old daughter is a dedicated Harry Potter Alternative Universe creature- All Slytherin, all the time. She likes to debate and we have many discussions about Utgar- are they evil, or are they just misguided? Not evil, she insists, just self-serving opportunists- she sees selfishness as a survival mechanism. Not misguided- those Utgarites are just going to get ahead any way then can, and that’s admirable if the alternative is defeat and death. I suppose it's easy to think that way when you're fifteen and have no responsibilities except homework. Those wild and nasty Utgar folks, she maintains, are just trying to survive and succeed anyway they can, and what's wrong with that? The Jandars are doomed- they'll die trying to save everyone else, Ullars are all pansies and Vydar takes itself too seriously to be of any use.

So my children have made a definitive list for me, the forgetful old one, who can't keep track of which category our ever-expanding collection of customs should be sorted into. Here's their list:

Einar- for those who are good at what they do; specialists, marksmen. (like our new catapult technicians) (all of our horses are Einar too; I guess they're good at running)

Jandar- for the noble and good (dzu-teh apparently are noble wild creatures- when they kill you, you deserve it)

Ullar- for the magical devotees and their kin (those skittish elves and our extensive collection of custom magic users)

Utgar- for the merciless, cruel selfish ones (you know who you are)

Vydar- for the legendary ones, like dragons and dwarves. (robots are legendary too- they never die, unless you help them)

They scoff at Aquilla, because she arrived too late to be included in their plan for the world. So Aquilla doesn't count.

And they have evolved another House- Magmar, for wild uncivilized water dwellers. This group consists of all sorts of gators, frog warriors, leviathans, and lizards that prefer fresh blue water but can still operate their specials in those yukky swamp tiles. Most of them can move on land too. Many have poison, and some, like the Vulver, lurk in wait and then drag you into the water if you come too close. You have a 20d chance to escape. Magmar's currently the group with the smallest population.

My children have all the HS cards memorized. I know three. They can quote specials and stats while choking on lima beans.

Our new system for storage has all figures and cards sorted by House. (I always take too long to pick my army and this new system is supposed to help me, the old feeble one). I admit the new storage system is better but I still can't find anything- I just can't remember who's in which House. On the way to school in the morning they drill me- “Who does Marcus Decimus Gallus belong too?” I almost always get it wrong. But I'm slowly learning. My kids are so patient with me. They’re trying their best to raise me well.

So for now, my family has sorted itself this way:
15 year old daughter- Utgar
12 year old and 9 year old sons – Einar- because they're so good at all this stuff
3 year old son- Half magical (Ullar) and half creepy water thing (Magmar)
And me, I’m well intentioned, hard working and would jump into lava to help my kids and they think that's kind of stupid. So I'm in Jandar, and sinking fast.
How about you?