Help With Wurdz

[William099]

Just a heads up I'm changing the footmen to Paladin bonding and Arthas (Jandar) to a Paladin for his class.

While talking about classes a question I had about the Footmen was what their class should be, I have them as knights currently, but I also have the Knights of Lordaeron listed as Knights, whereas the Footmen are more soldiers of the line, so should they be classified as Squires? Or Soldiers? Or maybe just classed as Footmen? What makes more sense linguistically?

[Scytale]

If you would be so kind, I have a card that's particularly difficult to word. I'd like any input I can get.

[Soundwarp SG-1]

Hope you don't mind Scytale, but I went ahead and transcribed the card's text per Dad_Scaper's earlier request.

FLOWING OOZE
After a Yellow Ooze moves normally or with this special power, you may choose any other Yellow Ooze you control that has not moved this turn and was adjacent to this Yellow Ooze before it moved. Place the chosen Yellow Ooze adjacent to any Yellow Ooze you control that moved this turn. If possible, you must place it adjacent to at least two Yellow Ooze that moved this turn. A Yellow Ooze moved by Flowing Ooze will take any leaving engagement attacks.

ENGULF
When attacking with a Yellow Ooze, you may add one additional attack die for each other Yellow Ooze you control adjacent to the defending figure.

OOZE REGROWTH
If a Yellow Ooze destroys a figure that is not destructible object with a normal attack, you may place one of your previously destroyed Yellow Ooze adjacent to any Yellow Ooze you control.

[Dad_Scaper]

Thanks, Scy, for the opportunity to look at one of your excellent customs. I'll have a look at it tomorrow. And thanks, SW, for the transcription.

[Dad_Scaper]

Ok, William, I'll come back to your Warcraft customs another time. Let me know if there's a pressing need for one (or more) of them.

On to the SoV candidates:
Rampage:

Originally Posted by William099

Indomitable
If Rampage begins his turn unengaged, add 2 to his Move value this turn. If he begins his turn engaged, add 2 to his Attack value this turn.

Destructive Rage
Each time Rampage destroys a figure with a normal attack he may reduce his attack value by 1 and attack again.

Warforged Resolve
When rolling defense dice against a normal or special attack, Rampage always adds one automatic shield to whatever is rolled.

As you know, this power has been through three iterations. The first had a problem, in my opinion, with the power name associated with what is now Destructive Rage. The second version had a problem with a word dropped from the same power. I noted that privately, and vociferously. I wish both had come here first, but it may be for the best, because really it was the latter (private) debate that stirred me to create this thread.

This version, already accepted by the SoV for review, seems fine.

Marshal

Originally Posted by William099

Overextend Attack
After taking a turn with Marshal, you may place a wound marker on Marshal and take another turn with him. You may only use this power once per round.

Tactical Advance
Before taking a turn with Marshal you may select up to 3 Warforged figures you control within clear sight of Marshal. Move the selected figures up to 5 spaces.

Warforged Resolve
When rolling defense dice against a normal or special attack, Rampage always adds one automatic shield to whatever is rolled.

I rewrote Tactical Advance to make it feel a bit more Heroscape-y, and also to remove the awkward "must be in clear sight" bit. If there is precedent for that formulation, you may keep it without it being wrong. It's just not pretty.

I'm also not clear on the name "Marshal." Marshal, spelled this way, is a rank. Would you name a custom "Lieutenant"? I would think probably not. And yet the name choice is obviously something you thought about, so perhaps you have a good reason. Thoughts?

[Lazy Orang]

Just my two pennoth about the Marshal name - I'm not really seeing much of a problem, considering the general naming convention for Warforged (seems to fit in with Heirloom and Siege reasonably) - but maybe 'Martial' would be another good possibility? Or most other words that feel fairly militaristic, really.

[William099]

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

Ok, William, I'll come back to your Warcraft customs another time. Let me know if there's a pressing need for one (or more) of them.

On to the SoV candidates:
Rampage:

As you know, this power has been through three iterations. The first had a problem, in my opinion, with the power name associated with what is now Destructive Rage. The second version had a problem with a word dropped from the same power. I noted that privately, and vociferously. I wish both had come here first, but it may be for the best, because really it was the latter (private) debate that stirred me to create this thread.

This version, already accepted by the SoV for review, seems fine.

Marshal

I rewrote Tactical Advance to make it feel a bit more Heroscape-y, and also to remove the awkward "must be in clear sight" bit. If there is precedent for that formulation, you may keep it without it being wrong. It's just not pretty.

I'm also not clear on the name "Marshal." Marshal, spelled this way, is a rank. Would you name a custom "Lieutenant"? I would think probably not. And yet the name choice is obviously something you thought about, so perhaps you have a good reason. Thoughts?

Warforged names were usually fitting with what they do in Heroscape so far, so I picked one that denoted he was a commander. As Heirloom is one who collects treasure Marshal is one who marshals the troops. I was not aware it was spelled differently then the rank?

As to the Warcraft guys, feel free to take your time, I only brought them here cause your thread seemed quiet and I wanted to give you something to do.

[Dad_Scaper]

William, I genuinely & warmly appreciate you bringing me something to do when this thread was too quiet.

[Dad_Scaper]

And now, on to Scy's Yellow Ooze.

As Scy knows, I'm a big fan of his customs, but when I saw this one I thought "That guy," the Yellow Ooze, not Scy, "needs an edit."

So, let's see if I can help.

Originally Posted by Scytale

If you would be so kind, I have a card that's particularly difficult to word. I'd like any input I can get.

I love the theme. The manner in which it's implemented in the powers is very clever, but that cleverness comes at the price of simplicity.

FLOWING OOZE
After a Yellow Ooze moves normally or with this special power, you may choose any other Yellow Ooze you control that has not moved this turn and was adjacent to this Yellow Ooze before it moved. Place the chosen Yellow Ooze adjacent to any Yellow Ooze you control that moved this turn. If possible, you must place it adjacent to at least two Yellow Ooze that moved this turn. A Yellow Ooze moved by Flowing Ooze will take any leaving engagement attacks.

The first thing I was going to suggest was the removal of the "for any reason" language, but that's already gone. Good choice.

After a Yellow Ooze moves normally or with Flowing Ooze, you may choose any other Yellow Ooze you control that has not moved this turn and was adjacent to this Yellow Ooze before it moved. Place the chosen Yellow Ooze adjacent to any Yellow Ooze you control that moved this turn. If possible, you must place it adjacent to at least two Yellow Oozes that moved this turn. A Yellow Ooze moved by Flowing Ooze will take any leaving engagement attacks.

Yielding:

After a Yellow Ooze moves normally or with Flowing Ooze, you may choose any Yellow Ooze you control that has not moved this turn and was adjacent to this Ooze before it moved. Place the chosen Ooze adjacent to any Yellow Ooze you control that moved this turn. If possible, you must place it adjacent to two Oozes that moved this turn. A Yellow Ooze moved by Flowing Ooze will take any leaving engagement attacks.

From 82 words, 453 characters, down to 75 and 412. Most of my edits were the removal of redundant words. On a Yellow Ooze's turn, for instance, the only type of Ooze that will be moving (limiting your design space, I suppose, but I doubt meaningfully so) are Yellow ones. So some of the "Yellows" can drop out, and if you can place one next to two Oozes, and there is a third as well, it is still placed next to two, so I dropped the "at least."

My goal here was just to tighten it up. The grammar & spelling & whatnot are all fine, which I'm sure is not a surprise to you.

ENGULF
When attacking with a Yellow Ooze, you may add one additional attack die for each other Yellow Ooze you control adjacent to the defending figure.

OOZE REGROWTH
If a Yellow Ooze destroys a figure that is not a destructible object with a normal attack, you may place one of your previously destroyed Yellow Ooze adjacent to any Yellow Ooze you control.

Scy, I think this card would look more 'Scape-y if you would change it to "an opponent's figure." Then you could drop the awkward "destructible object" language. Sure, you won't be able to devour friendly units to regenerate an Ooze at the front, but that may not be completely thematic anyway. Your call.

I also know you well enough to leave alone the "with a normal attack," though perhaps "with an attack" would serve your subtle purposes more simply. I will leave that in your capable hands.

See how the card looks with the shorter Flowing Ooze. I hope you like it, many thanks for sharing!

[superfrog]

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

The first thing I was going to suggest was the removal of the "for any reason" language, but that's already gone. Good choice.

After a Yellow Ooze moves normally or with Flowing Ooze, you may choose any other Yellow Ooze you control that has not moved this turn and was adjacent to this Yellow Ooze before it moved. Place the chosen Yellow Ooze adjacent to any Yellow Ooze you control that moved this turn. If possible, you must place it adjacent to at least two Yellow Oozes that moved this turn. A Yellow Ooze moved by Flowing Ooze will take any leaving engagement attacks.

Yielding:

Shouldn't there be consistency between "moves ... with Flowing Ooze" and "moved by Flowing Ooze"? If you changed the last sentence to "A Yellow Ooze moving with Flowing Ooze..." it would be the same, but I'm not sure if that matches precedent...

Also, would you look at my card here:



Text:

Frenzied Mob
After taking a turn with a Blackwater Cultist, roll the 20-sided die, adding one to your roll for each additional Blackwater Cultist, you control within 3 clear sight spaces to a maximum of +5 to your roll. If you roll a 15 or higher, you may take another turn with that Blackwater Cultist or another Blackwater Cultist you control within 3 clear sight spaces.

Occult Conversion
Instead of attacking with a Blackwater Cultist, you may choose an adjacent Small or Medium common figure that is also adjacent to at least one other Blackwater Cultist you control. Roll the 20-sided die. If you roll a 17 or higher, you may immediately replace that figure with one of your previously destroyed Blackwater Cultists, if possible.

Thanks!

[Dad_Scaper]

I'll look tomorrow, SF. I think the moves with and moved by phrases are OK as is. The "moved by" is in the Leaving Engagement language, which implies the passive role of being moved by the player. The "moved with" is a reference to play on the board, and the units' active relationship with each other.

[Aldin]

Sanity check on Flowing Ooze?

Have you thought about how it works with roads? A single ooze on a road and adjacent to another ooze could potentially slingshot a trailing ooze 20 spaces or more in even a moderately large ooze horde.

~Aldin, going with the flow