Every Tuesday night I go to Dignan's to play Heroscape. Here's what happens...
Tuesday Night at Dignan's (10/21/08)
Posted October 29th, 2008 at 10:07 PM by DrLivingston
Every Tuesday I go to Dignan's to play Heroscape. Here's what happens...
The Players:
Me/DrLivingston--I go to NHSD tournaments, drink a bucket of beer before noon, and lose by points to 12 year olds. Really, what else do you need to know?
Podwest--Podwest is starting to grow on me a little. He only tried to cheat once tonight and it's nice having someone around at game nights you can smack around with impunity...
Of course 12 year olds on NHSD can say the same about me, so wtf...
Dignan--The host with the mostest wit, map-making skills, and all around bastardability. Bitter over a computer error that cost him a shot at the DFW NHSD Championship round, the dude you I love to hate...Dignan.
R˙chean--Still playing down his ability and army. Still self depreciating as he kicks your ass all over the map. Still funny. And still losing to Dignan--welcome to my world, Ry.
We played two 4-player games on a little snow map by Dignan.
It had 2 move +2 glyphs on either side and a Defense +2 map in the center.
The map was a good one and a little smaller than the 3/4 player maps Dignan had been cranking out for his North Texas Shoot-Out event. This worked out nicely as things started quickly in both battles.
I showed up with my 2 beer allotment now that MyBroInLaw/Driver has abandoned me for softball practice/games.
Before I was ridiculed for my fast drinking.
Now I am criticized for not drinking enough.
"Things are better when you drink more." I hear.
I can only shake my head and agree.
Damn you responsible drinking! Damn you!
Rules for The North Texas Shoot-Out allow you to bring a 300 point army that must include (at least) 1 hero of no more than 150 points. If your entire army is the same general, you get 310 points. Your army must fit in a 14 start zone. All matches are 3 or 4 player events. You win by scoring points for everything you kill. Krav Agent is worth 33 points, etc.
Here's what we brought:
Me:
130 Deathwalker 8000
50 Iskra
50 Retchets
60 Deadeye Dan
20 Marcu
Podwest:
140 Deathwalker 9000
80 Deathreavers/"rats" x 2
70 Zettian Gurads
As you can see, Podwest and I are stupid. Both of us foolishly trusting the DW defense to protect us, instead of being realistic and realizing that Deathwalkers are just an easy way to hand your opponent a lot of points.
Seemed like a fun idea at the time is all I can say.
R˙chean:
60 Zetacron
50 Vikings
200 Snipers (who I mistakenly referred to as Sentinels and got reamed by Dignan for daring to refer to a Heroscape figure by the wrong name. What an uptight effer. I called them Sentinels the rest of the night.)
Dignan:
120 Agent Skahen
100 Krav
80 Deathreavers/"rats"
I was pretty happy with Dignan's army as there were lots of yummy targets for both Deadeye and the Retchets.
So it was with high hopes I began the game.
I moved DW8K 1/2 way up the narrow high pass connecting my army to Dignan's.
Where he ran into a rat. That had height on him. You know where this is going, don't you?
Dignan rolls 2 skulls and I Deathwalker whiff. And Dignan does his ha-ha-bastard dance.
Podwest is smiling at my misfortune right up to the moment when one of R˙chean's sniper knocks down his DW9k.
So now it's Dignan and R˙chean with a HUGE lead, and Podwest and I stuck listening to Dignan lecture on how stupid we are for ever even thinking Deathwalkers were a good idea.
I want to beat this guy soooooo badly.
Rym knows what I'm talking about.
But a bit of sunshine at the end of the round when Deadeye Dan snipes R˙chean's Viking on the +2 Defense glyph.
This sets me up nicely when I go second for initiative and send Marcu to sit on the same +2 Defense glyph. I would have preferred to hop the mountain separating Dignan and myself to munch on some Krav, but Dignan had surrounded all the agents in range with rats.
Effing DW ass kicking rats.
R˙chean comments that he has used rats to surround his agents before in tournaments and that it has been very effective.
I have thought of doing that in games before but have been unable to actually manage doing it because it's so movement/order marker finicky.
You can tell a lot about R˙chean and me from that, I think.
Anyway Marcu on the glyph ends up as a huge bonus for me because I roll defense dice like a mad man and that deformed red freak lasts until just about the end of the game.
HA!
I am such a convert to Podwest's school of Marcu is Awesome.
Meanwhile R˙chean has berserk charged his way to killing Deadeye Dan and engaging poor Iskra. Podwest is on the opposite corner from me trading shots with Ry's Snipers and Dignan's Krav.
Iskra takes a disengagement hit from Ry's Viking, kills one of Ry's snipers and summons the Retchets!
And like Mr. Kool Aid I yell, "Oh, Yeah!"
And R˙chean's Zetacron is dead. And Dignan's Agent Skahen is dead. And I am actually in the lead, baby.
And this is where R˙chean screwed me out of victory.
I am momentarily confused about where to move my Retchet.
After dithering around for a while, and hearing suggestions/catcalls to hurry, I finally move my Retchet as per one of R˙chean's suggestions. The Retchet ends up with height but is also engaged to 2 Deathreavers. (One of Podwest's and one of Dignan's)
Why would I do that? It's completely stupid!
I did it because R˙chean told me to and I thought, "R˙chean is a nice guy who is really good at this game and he's trying to help me. I'll do what he says."
Wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
So instead of getting to fly over and eat the rest of Dignan's Krav, I sit engaged to rats for the rest of the game.
And hear Dignan's nonstop I'm stupid comments.
And see R˙chean smirk.
Wtf?!?!
These 4 way battles always bring out the best in folks...
So the game is over, and Dignan, that ****, wins.
Barely. I think 6 points separated 1st place from 3rd place. It was an amazingly close game.
And bastard comment from me was:
"Wow Podwest, it's really cool how you could lose your Deathwalker so early in the match and then make such an amazing come back to almost win like that. Oh that wasn't you, that was me, huh?"
HA!
Podwest had finished waaaaay 4th.
And then R˙chean, secure in his 2nd place finish, attempts a bastard comment with:
"Such an amazing come back to get 3rd place. Yeah, great job, DrLivingston."
And Dignan says:
"Actually you got 3rd, R˙chean. DrLivingston got 2nd by 4 points."
HA!
As we set up for the second game, R˙chean dropped a bombshell.
Well for me, anyway.
He said that he was going to try to get UPC and wisinger to start coming to Dignan's on Tuesdays as well.
This is completely awesome.
UPC was like the guy to beat in DFW Heroscape. Kind of like the SpiderPoison of Texas. But then tournament point totals went up, his beloved Romans weren't so effective anymore, and he kind of fell off the face of the Earth.
I would love a chance to lose to UPC.
And wisinger is a super nice, super cool guy that I got to play at a tournament once. It was the game where I forgot Taelord could fly(long story) and lost a nailbiter that came down to my Deadeye Dan against his rat. Besides being a very genial guy, wisinger also picks very interesting armies to play against. He brought Zettian Guards to win the DFW championship in 2006.
Anyway these guys have been super cool in the (very) limited encounters I've had with them.
But they've both kind of gone Howard Hughes on the area and not shown up to much of anything, DFW event wise, lately.
Sooooo it would be completely bad ass if these guys showed up Tuesday night.
And if they kicked Dignan's ass all over the place, even better.
Anyway, next round I brought:
150 Cyprien
45 Sonya (Yes, I always bring her, too. I don't know if it's smart, but it sure looks cool...)
50 Iskra
50 Retchets
10 Isamu
I had had so much fun with Iskra and the Retchets I decided to throw a vampire party.
R˙chean went with Cowboys and Ninjas:
75 James Murphy
65 Johnny Shotgun
60 Deadeye Dan
60 Shiori
30 Guilty McCreech
10 Isamu
Podwest came to win with:
50 MeBurqSa
120 Stingers x 2
80 Raelin
50 Dumatef Guards x 2
You know, I said came to win becasuse of Stingers and Raelin, but what the **** is up with 2 Dumatef Guards? Marro warriors cost the same and take up the same amount of space. There was no road anywhere on the map. I just dunno...
Dignan brought:
110 Valguard
90 NeGokSa
100 Romans x 2
Dignan was kind enough to point out that some guys from Houston kicked the **** out of Rodriquez and I in the DFW Team Tourney using Valguard.
I told the guys--JungeRoman was one of them I recall--That I admired them for bringing such an underused and unique figure.
And what I thought was you guys are going to get hosed.
But no, that Valguard went nuts on our *** and gave us a real kicking.
Of course Rodriquez daring them to attack his Kaemon Awa, "'Cuz he's got counterstrike!" did nothing to help our cause.
Anyway eff Rod's inability to counterstrike that day, eff Valguard, and eff Dignan for reminding me.
So, this game was basically Dignan kicking everyone in the nuts, but a few things of note occurred:
1. Cyprien rolled a 19 + 2 to put 6 wounds on Valgurad on the 2nd order marker thanks to Iskra grabbing the move glyph. Cyprien failed to finish Valguard off, even though he had height.
2. Podwest rolled paralyzing stare with MeBurqSa and killed Valguard thereby stealing the 110 points that was rightfully mine!
ARRRGH!
3. Dignan killed everyone with +2 defense/+2 move Romans. Everything. Everything except...
4. R˙chean's Isamu that just went crazy. He killed Podwest's stingers. Podwest's Raelin, 2 of my Retchets, 3 or 4 Romans. Just lots of stuff.
It came down to pride, as Dignan was waaay ahead on points. And though we all threw our meager remaining forces into an alliance to kill Dignan, he killed all of us instead.
So Dignan wins both games, one a nail-biter and one a thorough shellacking.
Effing Dignan.
BallBreaking Emasculation of the Evening:
Well there were two.
The first was my wife calling to let me know that, "No she had not finished watching Dream Girls and me returning it to BlockBuster was a big eff up and I was a horrible horrible person." Or something to that effect.
Luckily my emasculation was on the phone.
Also luckily it wasn't my mom and Dignan didn't shout really loud how good the whores were so that my mom could hear and ask me just what was I doing on Tuesdays anyway?
I can't believe that Dignan talking about whores to my mother is something I have to be concerned about, but there you go.
The second was right before Dignan finally took out R˙chean's Isamu, Dignan's wife came into the room holding their little dog, Anastasia.
"Anastasia wants to bark at you, do you know why?"
I figured she was talking to Dignan as I sure didn't know why Anastasia would want to bark at me, so I was glad that Dignan answered, "uh, why?"
"Anastasia wants to bark at you because she is tired and wants to go to bed."
"Now."
I was beginning to figure out that Anastasia was not the one that was tired and wanted to go to bed.
But then I hadn't been drinking a lot, so my brain was a bit smartier than normal.
"We're almost done," reported Dignan.
This was apparently acceptable to both Anastasia and Dignan's wife as they both went back downstairs.
Podwest then inexplicably said to Dignan, "Now you know what it's like" or something to that effect.
Ah, marriage.
And since MyBroInLaw has learned how to access this site and read my posts, I would like to add:
I love my wife very much and cannot wait to spend a happy Thanksgiving with her whole family. Yay in-laws!
The Players:
Me/DrLivingston--I go to NHSD tournaments, drink a bucket of beer before noon, and lose by points to 12 year olds. Really, what else do you need to know?
Podwest--Podwest is starting to grow on me a little. He only tried to cheat once tonight and it's nice having someone around at game nights you can smack around with impunity...
Of course 12 year olds on NHSD can say the same about me, so wtf...
Dignan--The host with the mostest wit, map-making skills, and all around bastardability. Bitter over a computer error that cost him a shot at the DFW NHSD Championship round, the dude you I love to hate...Dignan.
R˙chean--Still playing down his ability and army. Still self depreciating as he kicks your ass all over the map. Still funny. And still losing to Dignan--welcome to my world, Ry.
We played two 4-player games on a little snow map by Dignan.
It had 2 move +2 glyphs on either side and a Defense +2 map in the center.
The map was a good one and a little smaller than the 3/4 player maps Dignan had been cranking out for his North Texas Shoot-Out event. This worked out nicely as things started quickly in both battles.
I showed up with my 2 beer allotment now that MyBroInLaw/Driver has abandoned me for softball practice/games.
Before I was ridiculed for my fast drinking.
Now I am criticized for not drinking enough.
"Things are better when you drink more." I hear.
I can only shake my head and agree.
Damn you responsible drinking! Damn you!
Rules for The North Texas Shoot-Out allow you to bring a 300 point army that must include (at least) 1 hero of no more than 150 points. If your entire army is the same general, you get 310 points. Your army must fit in a 14 start zone. All matches are 3 or 4 player events. You win by scoring points for everything you kill. Krav Agent is worth 33 points, etc.
Here's what we brought:
Me:
130 Deathwalker 8000
50 Iskra
50 Retchets
60 Deadeye Dan
20 Marcu
Podwest:
140 Deathwalker 9000
80 Deathreavers/"rats" x 2
70 Zettian Gurads
As you can see, Podwest and I are stupid. Both of us foolishly trusting the DW defense to protect us, instead of being realistic and realizing that Deathwalkers are just an easy way to hand your opponent a lot of points.
Seemed like a fun idea at the time is all I can say.
R˙chean:
60 Zetacron
50 Vikings
200 Snipers (who I mistakenly referred to as Sentinels and got reamed by Dignan for daring to refer to a Heroscape figure by the wrong name. What an uptight effer. I called them Sentinels the rest of the night.)
Dignan:
120 Agent Skahen
100 Krav
80 Deathreavers/"rats"
I was pretty happy with Dignan's army as there were lots of yummy targets for both Deadeye and the Retchets.
So it was with high hopes I began the game.
I moved DW8K 1/2 way up the narrow high pass connecting my army to Dignan's.
Where he ran into a rat. That had height on him. You know where this is going, don't you?
Dignan rolls 2 skulls and I Deathwalker whiff. And Dignan does his ha-ha-bastard dance.
Podwest is smiling at my misfortune right up to the moment when one of R˙chean's sniper knocks down his DW9k.
So now it's Dignan and R˙chean with a HUGE lead, and Podwest and I stuck listening to Dignan lecture on how stupid we are for ever even thinking Deathwalkers were a good idea.
I want to beat this guy soooooo badly.
Rym knows what I'm talking about.
But a bit of sunshine at the end of the round when Deadeye Dan snipes R˙chean's Viking on the +2 Defense glyph.
This sets me up nicely when I go second for initiative and send Marcu to sit on the same +2 Defense glyph. I would have preferred to hop the mountain separating Dignan and myself to munch on some Krav, but Dignan had surrounded all the agents in range with rats.
Effing DW ass kicking rats.
R˙chean comments that he has used rats to surround his agents before in tournaments and that it has been very effective.
I have thought of doing that in games before but have been unable to actually manage doing it because it's so movement/order marker finicky.
You can tell a lot about R˙chean and me from that, I think.
Anyway Marcu on the glyph ends up as a huge bonus for me because I roll defense dice like a mad man and that deformed red freak lasts until just about the end of the game.
HA!
I am such a convert to Podwest's school of Marcu is Awesome.
Meanwhile R˙chean has berserk charged his way to killing Deadeye Dan and engaging poor Iskra. Podwest is on the opposite corner from me trading shots with Ry's Snipers and Dignan's Krav.
Iskra takes a disengagement hit from Ry's Viking, kills one of Ry's snipers and summons the Retchets!
And like Mr. Kool Aid I yell, "Oh, Yeah!"
And R˙chean's Zetacron is dead. And Dignan's Agent Skahen is dead. And I am actually in the lead, baby.
And this is where R˙chean screwed me out of victory.
I am momentarily confused about where to move my Retchet.
After dithering around for a while, and hearing suggestions/catcalls to hurry, I finally move my Retchet as per one of R˙chean's suggestions. The Retchet ends up with height but is also engaged to 2 Deathreavers. (One of Podwest's and one of Dignan's)
Why would I do that? It's completely stupid!
I did it because R˙chean told me to and I thought, "R˙chean is a nice guy who is really good at this game and he's trying to help me. I'll do what he says."
Wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
So instead of getting to fly over and eat the rest of Dignan's Krav, I sit engaged to rats for the rest of the game.
And hear Dignan's nonstop I'm stupid comments.
And see R˙chean smirk.
Wtf?!?!
These 4 way battles always bring out the best in folks...
So the game is over, and Dignan, that ****, wins.
Barely. I think 6 points separated 1st place from 3rd place. It was an amazingly close game.
And bastard comment from me was:
"Wow Podwest, it's really cool how you could lose your Deathwalker so early in the match and then make such an amazing come back to almost win like that. Oh that wasn't you, that was me, huh?"
HA!
Podwest had finished waaaaay 4th.
And then R˙chean, secure in his 2nd place finish, attempts a bastard comment with:
"Such an amazing come back to get 3rd place. Yeah, great job, DrLivingston."
And Dignan says:
"Actually you got 3rd, R˙chean. DrLivingston got 2nd by 4 points."
HA!
As we set up for the second game, R˙chean dropped a bombshell.
Well for me, anyway.
He said that he was going to try to get UPC and wisinger to start coming to Dignan's on Tuesdays as well.
This is completely awesome.
UPC was like the guy to beat in DFW Heroscape. Kind of like the SpiderPoison of Texas. But then tournament point totals went up, his beloved Romans weren't so effective anymore, and he kind of fell off the face of the Earth.
I would love a chance to lose to UPC.
And wisinger is a super nice, super cool guy that I got to play at a tournament once. It was the game where I forgot Taelord could fly(long story) and lost a nailbiter that came down to my Deadeye Dan against his rat. Besides being a very genial guy, wisinger also picks very interesting armies to play against. He brought Zettian Guards to win the DFW championship in 2006.
Anyway these guys have been super cool in the (very) limited encounters I've had with them.
But they've both kind of gone Howard Hughes on the area and not shown up to much of anything, DFW event wise, lately.
Sooooo it would be completely bad ass if these guys showed up Tuesday night.
And if they kicked Dignan's ass all over the place, even better.
Anyway, next round I brought:
150 Cyprien
45 Sonya (Yes, I always bring her, too. I don't know if it's smart, but it sure looks cool...)
50 Iskra
50 Retchets
10 Isamu
I had had so much fun with Iskra and the Retchets I decided to throw a vampire party.
R˙chean went with Cowboys and Ninjas:
75 James Murphy
65 Johnny Shotgun
60 Deadeye Dan
60 Shiori
30 Guilty McCreech
10 Isamu
Podwest came to win with:
50 MeBurqSa
120 Stingers x 2
80 Raelin
50 Dumatef Guards x 2
You know, I said came to win becasuse of Stingers and Raelin, but what the **** is up with 2 Dumatef Guards? Marro warriors cost the same and take up the same amount of space. There was no road anywhere on the map. I just dunno...
Dignan brought:
110 Valguard
90 NeGokSa
100 Romans x 2
Dignan was kind enough to point out that some guys from Houston kicked the **** out of Rodriquez and I in the DFW Team Tourney using Valguard.
I told the guys--JungeRoman was one of them I recall--That I admired them for bringing such an underused and unique figure.
And what I thought was you guys are going to get hosed.
But no, that Valguard went nuts on our *** and gave us a real kicking.
Of course Rodriquez daring them to attack his Kaemon Awa, "'Cuz he's got counterstrike!" did nothing to help our cause.
Anyway eff Rod's inability to counterstrike that day, eff Valguard, and eff Dignan for reminding me.
So, this game was basically Dignan kicking everyone in the nuts, but a few things of note occurred:
1. Cyprien rolled a 19 + 2 to put 6 wounds on Valgurad on the 2nd order marker thanks to Iskra grabbing the move glyph. Cyprien failed to finish Valguard off, even though he had height.
2. Podwest rolled paralyzing stare with MeBurqSa and killed Valguard thereby stealing the 110 points that was rightfully mine!
ARRRGH!
3. Dignan killed everyone with +2 defense/+2 move Romans. Everything. Everything except...
4. R˙chean's Isamu that just went crazy. He killed Podwest's stingers. Podwest's Raelin, 2 of my Retchets, 3 or 4 Romans. Just lots of stuff.
It came down to pride, as Dignan was waaay ahead on points. And though we all threw our meager remaining forces into an alliance to kill Dignan, he killed all of us instead.
So Dignan wins both games, one a nail-biter and one a thorough shellacking.
Effing Dignan.
BallBreaking Emasculation of the Evening:
Well there were two.
The first was my wife calling to let me know that, "No she had not finished watching Dream Girls and me returning it to BlockBuster was a big eff up and I was a horrible horrible person." Or something to that effect.
Luckily my emasculation was on the phone.
Also luckily it wasn't my mom and Dignan didn't shout really loud how good the whores were so that my mom could hear and ask me just what was I doing on Tuesdays anyway?
I can't believe that Dignan talking about whores to my mother is something I have to be concerned about, but there you go.
The second was right before Dignan finally took out R˙chean's Isamu, Dignan's wife came into the room holding their little dog, Anastasia.
"Anastasia wants to bark at you, do you know why?"
I figured she was talking to Dignan as I sure didn't know why Anastasia would want to bark at me, so I was glad that Dignan answered, "uh, why?"
"Anastasia wants to bark at you because she is tired and wants to go to bed."
"Now."
I was beginning to figure out that Anastasia was not the one that was tired and wanted to go to bed.
But then I hadn't been drinking a lot, so my brain was a bit smartier than normal.
"We're almost done," reported Dignan.
This was apparently acceptable to both Anastasia and Dignan's wife as they both went back downstairs.
Podwest then inexplicably said to Dignan, "Now you know what it's like" or something to that effect.
Ah, marriage.
And since MyBroInLaw has learned how to access this site and read my posts, I would like to add:
I love my wife very much and cannot wait to spend a happy Thanksgiving with her whole family. Yay in-laws!
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this was awesome
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Posted April 1st, 2012 at 05:32 PM by auto1quote
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Recent Blog Entries by DrLivingston
- Dallas/Fort Worth EPIC Game Day II--Map Sections (3 of 3) (January 28th, 2009)
- Dallas/Fort Worth EPIC Game Day II--Legions (2 of 3) (January 28th, 2009)
- Dallas/Fort Worth EPIC Game Day II--Rules. (1 of 3) (January 28th, 2009)
- Tuesday Nights at Dignan's (11/04/08) (January 13th, 2009)
- Tuesday Nights at Dignan's (10/28/08) (January 13th, 2009)
