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The Joke Thread

One I like to rip out of nowhere without giving any time between set-up and punch line is:
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Then immediately make choking sound.
 
How do you get four elephants in a Volkswagon?
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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator?
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How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
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How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
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How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

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:)
 
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a miniature grand piano and sets it on the bar rail. The bartender looks at him in confusion. Then, the patron reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a miniature human man, and sets him on the bar rail as well. The tiny man walks up to the piano, flicks his coattails back, sits down, and starts playing. The bartender is flabbergasted. He can't believe his eyes. "WHERE DID YOU GET HIM?!?" The bartender said. The patron reaches into his inner coat pocket and pulls out a gold artifact and says, "I recently obtained a Genie in a lamp. It will grant you any wish you desire. Would you like to give it a try?" Without hesitation, the bartender snatched the lamp from the patron and started rubbing it and pondering. "Hmmmm... How about a million bucks!"

*POOF*
A million ducks instantly appear in the bar. They're all quacking away, he can barely hear himself talk and yells, "WHAT THE HELL? I ASKED FOR A MILLION BUCKS!" The patron yells back, "YOU THINK I ASKED FOR A 10-INCH PIANIST?!" :lol:
 
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What do you call a pencil that comes out of your butt?
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How does a mathematician say goodbye?
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Gonna keep this going as long as I can, cause everyone needs a laugh every once in a while.


What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
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Have a great day!
 
What vegetable is cool, but not that cool?
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What do you call it when a person raises prostitute flowers in a garden?

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Did you know humans eat more bananas than monkeys?
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