Safety In Meeting Online Friends In Real Life?

[Aldin]

I've met online friends in real life twice. Both initial meetings were at public places and one of those meetings has turned into an enduring RL friendship where we go to a con together every year and celebrate the 4th of July together. My wife has met some online friends as well and it's worked out pretty good. The 'in public' first rule would have to be the standard-bearer, but I can certainly testify that meeting people can be worth it!

~Aldin

 

[geddy lifeson]

I have met four individuals from these boards scapers and HQ...three of them were guests at my house. and one was met at an alternate location while I was out of town with family. Due to circumstances, we were unable to play but decided to meet and chat anyhow.

Out of all the encounters, the only one that struck me as odd was with UD. We all know UD is strange and I expected him to be exactly how he was. I had no idea that what uncovered recently would be something that now disturbs me about inviting someone to my home and more importantly to my family.

I am not afraid to invite others to game and if given the chance will do so again. his recent event will not stop me but will make me stay vigilant and remain cautious.

The important thing to take out of this is that there are dangers and one must be careful. One must also realize that for the few bad apples out there, there are many more great people that truely outnumber them...those are the people I consider my friends and will gladly welcome.

 

[Bannister]

In light of our most recent events and in line with this topic, I wonder if anyone here has good alternatives / suggestions for ways or places to meet with fellow gamers in a public location outside of our homes? Atleast until a personal face-to-face relationship has been establised.

I was recently in the local Ihop (yeah, so? I like the chocolate chip pancakes.), when I saw a group of guys in the back playing magic the gathering. They did this once a week. Now one of the guys knew the Ass. Manager and MtG is a little less room intensive than HS but it got me thinking. Maybe there are certain major chains out their who, during slower times, would be happy to have some gamers visit them from time to time.

Anyone else have any other ideas on locations?

Bannister

PS Yeah I know it put in the stars, but I thought it was funny so I left it.

 

[Grungebob]

In light of our most recent events and in line with this topic, I wonder if anyone here has good alternatives / suggestions for ways or places to meet with fellow gamers in a public location outside of our homes? Atleast until a personal face-to-face relationship has been establised.

I was recently in the local Ihop (yeah, so? I like the chocolate chip pancakes.), when I saw a group of guys in the back playing magic the gathering. They did this once a week. Now one of the guys knew the ***. Manager and MtG is a little less room intensive than HS but it got me thinking. Maybe there are certain major chains out their who, during slower times, would be happy to have some gamers visit them from time to time.

Anyone else have any other ideas on locations?

Bannister

PS Yeah I know it put in the stars, but I thought it was funny so I left it.

The big book store chaines like Barnes and Noble allow this sort of thing.

 

[Bannister]

In light of our most recent events and in line with this topic, I wonder if anyone here has good alternatives / suggestions for ways or places to meet with fellow gamers in a public location outside of our homes? Atleast until a personal face-to-face relationship has been establised.

I was recently in the local Ihop (yeah, so? I like the chocolate chip pancakes.), when I saw a group of guys in the back playing magic the gathering. They did this once a week. Now one of the guys knew the ***. Manager and MtG is a little less room intensive than HS but it got me thinking. Maybe there are certain major chains out their who, during slower times, would be happy to have some gamers visit them from time to time.

Anyone else have any other ideas on locations?

Bannister

PS Yeah I know it put in the stars, but I thought it was funny so I left it.

The big book store chaines like Barnes and Noble allow this sort of thing.

Cool, thanks there is a Books a Million near me, I will have to check that out.

How about Libraries and Churches? We have held large events in a local church that has a gymnasium. They rent it out for $35 an hour. Both of these have tables and such so...? The church would work for a large gathering but no so much for a first time meeting between 3 of 4 gamers.

Bannister

 

[toddrew]

May be stating the obvious here, but the denver area members have met at different gaming shops, and of course were welcome there

 

[Bannister]

Yeah, gaming shops are certainly one place if you have the connections.

However, in my immediate area there was one. The guy barely even looked up from behind his screen to say they weren't really interested.

There are a couple of other Warhammer type places but they are not convenient for me anyway.

So...yeah smok'em if you gott'em I say.

Bannister

 

[toddrew]

Yeah, gaming shops are certainly one place if you have the connections.

However, in my immediate area there was one. The guy barely even looked up from behind his screen to say they weren't really interested.

Kinda the "Simpson's Comic Shop Owner" type, eh? I often (well, not that often) wonder what the heck these people are doing running businesses for the public - to spread their disdain for life?

 

[skyknight]

I guess I kinda should pipe up here and this is going to sound kind of odd to you guys but here goes. First i would say that even when I use to chat with UD back on HQ I would have never invited him to my home by himself. No way no how, maybe in a tournament setting it would be different.

As far as not inviting people to my home now? No way. There are many here I actually would invite to my home to hang out. There are just to many good people here to ignore. I think after almost a year of chatting to some of you guys online I have a pretty good feel for who you are.

Many of you I know have families, many hold alot of the same morals I do. When I was in Cali for our get together I would say that not meeting the Socal crew would have been a huge loss for me. They are a class act all around and my door is open to anyone of them. As for the rest of you, there are quite a few of you I know more about than I do most people right here in my home town. Heck I even knew all about UD and while I did not see the danger fully either, he would not have been coming over for pot roast dinner by himself. It only goes to show alot of times your opinions you form of people are pretty well right. I think the gut factor is a huge piece of advice to follow.

 

[lonewolf]

In light of our most recent events and in line with this topic, I wonder if anyone here has good alternatives / suggestions for ways or places to meet with fellow gamers in a public location outside of our homes? Atleast until a personal face-to-face relationship has been establised.

I was recently in the local Ihop (yeah, so? I like the chocolate chip pancakes.), when I saw a group of guys in the back playing magic the gathering. They did this once a week. Now one of the guys knew the ***. Manager and MtG is a little less room intensive than HS but it got me thinking. Maybe there are certain major chains out their who, during slower times, would be happy to have some gamers visit them from time to time.

Anyone else have any other ideas on locations?

Bannister

PS Yeah I know it put in the stars, but I thought it was funny so I left it.

The big book store chaines like Barnes and Noble allow this sort of thing.

One of the best place I know of is your local library. Libraries almost always have meeting rooms that you can rent out. This is a very public option for open gaming. Typically they are a little cleaner than some of the game shops I have played in as well! I am hosting an event at a library here in PHX. The room holds 40 people and costs $5/hr. The event is going to be 5 hours, so that is only $25. I am picking up the tab on the room, but I am sure if you have enough people to chip in, it is a very inexpensive, safe, clean, public place to play. The only downside I have come across so far is that you can't bring food in the room.

--Lonewolf

 

[ninthdoc]

In light of our most recent events and in line with this topic, I wonder if anyone here has good alternatives / suggestions for ways or places to meet with fellow gamers in a public location outside of our homes? Atleast until a personal face-to-face relationship has been establised.

I was recently in the local Ihop (yeah, so? I like the chocolate chip pancakes.), when I saw a group of guys in the back playing magic the gathering. They did this once a week. Now one of the guys knew the ***. Manager and MtG is a little less room intensive than HS but it got me thinking. Maybe there are certain major chains out their who, during slower times, would be happy to have some gamers visit them from time to time.

Anyone else have any other ideas on locations?

Bannister

PS Yeah I know it put in the stars, but I thought it was funny so I left it.

The big book store chaines like Barnes and Noble allow this sort of thing.

One of the best place I know of is your local library. Libraries almost always have meeting rooms that you can rent out. This is a very public option for open gaming. Typically they are a little cleaner than some of the game shops I have played in as well! I am hosting an event at a library here in PHX. The room holds 40 people and costs $5/hr. The event is going to be 5 hours, so that is only $25. I am picking up the tab on the room, but I am sure if you have enough people to chip in, it is a very inexpensive, safe, clean, public place to play. The only downside I have come across so far is that you can't bring food in the room.

--Lonewolf

Denny's (late night) had a backgammon group that met. You might try some pubs, cafes, etc. If you're in Indy, there's always The Ram.

 

[netherspirit]

When I started out playing M:tG (before I could drive) we played at the public library all the time. Then a local card shop opened up and we played there.

Then when when I got a car, we drove to a better cardshop that had better tournaments. After the tournaments we used to play at Denny's and another place The Patio or something liek that, after the Card Shop closed, and none of us knew the managers.

There are all kinds of alternatives.

 

[Agent Minivann]

One of the best place I know of is your local library. Libraries almost always have meeting rooms that you can rent out. This is a very public option for open gaming. Typically they are a little cleaner than some of the game shops I have played in as well! I am hosting an event at a library here in PHX. The room holds 40 people and costs $5/hr. The event is going to be 5 hours, so that is only $25. I am picking up the tab on the room, but I am sure if you have enough people to chip in, it is a very inexpensive, safe, clean, public place to play. The only downside I have come across so far is that you can't bring food in the room.

--Lonewolf

My local library has wifi internet. I might have to look into this.

 

[LilNewbie]

We used to shuffle over to a 24-hour Whataburger when the local store closed and continued playing games (mostly CCGs...On the Edge, MtG and L5R mainly). We would have 15 to 20 there and the older guys in the group made sure the more unruly behaved themselves. Almost everyone purchased something from the counter and when it hit midnight we left. The store and the Whataburger were a good place to get to meet people and to see them in different environments. About 80% of the people there would have been fine to invite over to the house for games.

Newb.

 

[CornPuff]

Use good judgement, but enjoy life.

When you begin denying yourself your own life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, that's when the bad guys win.

I think that bears repeating. also this one:

first meeting should always be in a public place

There are a select few of you that I haven't me that I would feel commfortable inviting to my home. Its that whole gut instinct thing. I can't really explain it, because gut instincts are inherintly qualitative and not quantitative.

The vast majority of you I wouldn't. Mainly because I wouldn't want to see my DVD collection and laptop walk out the door while I was in the bathroom.

I've though about picking up a martial art. I figure I could be a lot more comfortable with strangers if I know that they are unlikely to physically dominate me.

I recognize that there are highly sophisticated well prepared predators out there, and if they choose to come into my home, well, they win. The vast vast majority of predators are lesser prepared opportunistic ones. If you are aware and take precautions, these opportunistic types will look elsewhere or be defeated.

So, just be smart and aware to mitigate your risks. With a community like this, the good far outweighs the bad; the reward far outweighs the risk. I hope to meet many more you at future gatherings, becausee this community is a blast!

 

[toddrew]

The vast majority of you I wouldn't. Mainly because I wouldn't want to see my DVD collection and laptop walk out the door while I was in the bathroom.

What exactly are you saying about site members here, CornPuff

 

[LilNewbie]

The vast majority of you I wouldn't. Mainly because I wouldn't want to see my DVD collection and laptop walk out the door while I was in the bathroom.

What exactly are you saying about site members here, CornPuff

I.E. Put down his DVD collection, toddrew!!

Newb.

 

[primal]

I would have to say that I am shocked beyond belief.
I used to talk to Doug a lot.
Doug even professed to be a Christian, as I am.
I am afraid that I can't speak for anyone, except myself- I try to trust people, try to find good in people and try to treat people as Jesus Christ would do.
I also would like to say that I NEVER manipulate any situation to compromise myself, my family or any of my friends. I invite people to play Heroscape, but I would NEVER put anyone in a position that they, myself or anyone else would feel uncomfortable in.
just because I trust people and try to love my neighbor as myself I am not stupid.

I would have to say without reservation that I am really shocked with UD's situation. I don't know where anyone could find rationality in what he was trying to do.

please, don't let one problematic situation spoil our great community, there are some good people out here.

 

[toddrew]

The vast majority of you I wouldn't. Mainly because I wouldn't want to see my DVD collection and laptop walk out the door while I was in the bathroom.

What exactly are you saying about site members here, CornPuff

I.E. Put down his DVD collection, toddrew!!

Newb.

But I love the Golden Girls, and he has all the seasons

 

[ninthdoc]

The vast majority of you I wouldn't. Mainly because I wouldn't want to see my DVD collection and laptop walk out the door while I was in the bathroom.

What exactly are you saying about site members here, CornPuff

I.E. Put down his DVD collection, toddrew!!

Newb.

But I love the Golden Girls, and he has all the seasons

It's his complete collection of Will and Grace that he'll fight you for.

 

[Agent Minivann]

Hey Cornpuff, can I come hang at your place when I'm in town? BTW what DVD's can we watch when I'm there?

 

[Malechi]

Cornpuff,

I'll be flying in. What's in your DVD collection? Now let's see, how many extra suitcases will I need for the return trip ...

(The worst thing is my collection is so out of hand, I probably have any DVD's he could possibly name, except for Cornpuff's "Best of LoGo" collection ...)

 

[Buddy Lee]

How about Libraries and Churches? We have held large events in a local church that has a gymnasium. They rent it out for $35 an hour. Both of these have tables and such so...? The church would work for a large gathering but no so much for a first time meeting between 3 of 4 gamers.

Bannister

I just want it on record that Bannister will go to church if properly motivated.

Buddy Lee

 

[countblah]

How about Libraries and Churches? We have held large events in a local church that has a gymnasium. They rent it out for $35 an hour. Both of these have tables and such so...? The church would work for a large gathering but no so much for a first time meeting between 3 of 4 gamers.

Bannister

I just want it on record that Bannister will go to church if properly motivated.

Buddy Lee

Holy smokes, you're right! Someone call the authorities!

 

[Detrimentalman]

When I was in Cali for our get together I would say that not meeting the Socal crew would have been a huge loss for me. They are a class act all around and my door is open to anyone of them.

Ditto man!

I haven't really been on the boards, so I just stumbled across this. I have to say *does a little dance* I never did like UD. I've been meeting people from over the internet since I was about 14. I have always just made sure that the first time is in a public and safe place or brought an adult with me. So far with heroscape I haven't really been following those rules, but I have had the benefit of having other members I know vouch for new people so I feel comfortable with it.

I don't think there is a problem meeting people over the internet at all. You just have to be smart and take precautions, especially if you have kids. Any wierd vibes or odd comments you get online though should definately make you take those safety measures a step further.