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Old December 12th, 2010, 09:30 PM
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Valhalla Reborn (1st Edition. Completed.)

Note: After a long period of inactivity, I am now continuing this. (Added January, 2014)

Greetings. I'm rather inexperienced in the world of Valhalla, but I wanted to write something like this. Please let me know if you like it and if there are any Valhalla/character errors in it. If you like it, I'll finish it up. Here it is:

Part One
Spoiler Alert!

Writing - Researching
Spoiler Alert!

Last edited by The Grim Reaper's Friend; March 30th, 2014 at 08:41 PM. Reason: Cleaning up and preparing for a possible continuation.
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  #2  
Old December 12th, 2010, 09:51 PM
bumper15 bumper15 is offline
 
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

Intriging, you did an excellent job developing the scene and setting the pace for the rest of the story. I like it , trying to figure out who the stranger is, it's one of the generals right?

I would love it if you visited my own story and commented on it. My two supporters are away somewhere, and I feel inadequate when others don't give me their opinion I would love to hear what anyone thinks I could do to make it better.

Here's the linkhttp://www.heroscapers.com/community...ad.php?t=32470

Last edited by bumper15; December 12th, 2010 at 09:56 PM. Reason: I hate begging ;)
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  #3  
Old December 12th, 2010, 10:37 PM
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

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Originally Posted by bumper15 View Post
Intriging, you did an excellent job developing the scene and setting the pace for the rest of the story. I like it , trying to figure out who the stranger is, it's one of the generals right?

I would love it if you visited my own story and commented on it. My two supporters are away somewhere, and I feel inadequate when others don't give me their opinion I would love to hear what anyone thinks I could do to make it better.

Here's the linkhttp://www.heroscapers.com/community...ad.php?t=32470
Interesting story! I left a post.
Thanks for your support. You think it is one of the generals eh? Well... I can't tell you now can I? That would spoil it. Don't worry, You'll know by the next installment. (Coming soon... in a week or less. Probably less.)

Writing - Researching
Spoiler Alert!
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  #4  
Old December 13th, 2010, 09:17 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

Here is installment number two! Don't expect them all this early though. I'll always start with a recap of the last paragraph or two. It's in italics.

“Where are they?” the kyrie said in a deep, echoing voice.
No one replied. They stood speechless before the apparition. Finally Syvarris managed to speak. “Wha – who? Where are who?”

“The dead!” thundered the kyrie. “Where are my warriors?” He stood in front of them with a commanding air and awaited a reply. When none came, he continued. “I left them here,” he gestured about him, “in this cave. They were many.” He paused and looked about him. Then, as if recollecting where he was, said, “WHERE ARE THEY?”

No one moved.

The kyrie stood before them, feet apart, his gaze penetrating. Still no one moved. Finally Syvarris plucked up the courage to say, “There are no dead here.”

The kyrie stared at him as one would stare at a speck of dust. “Not here?” he said hoarsely. Then, as if regaining his composure, he thundered, “THEN WHERE ARE THEY?”

“I do not know,” said Syvarris. When the kyrie did not move, he continued. “Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Galmar,” replied the kyrie, as if out of habit. “I have come to seek my warriors.” He shifted his wait, examining the wall behind Thorgrim. “I left them here,” he said in a less harsh tone. “I told them to stay here.” He suddenly moved forward, pushed the samurai aside, and entered the mouth of the cave. Thorgrim followed after him. After a pause, Syvarris turned to the samurai and said, “Do you know what he speaks of?”

“No,” said the samurai. “A better question would be where he came from. Kyrie don’t live in caves, and I’ve never heard of any kyrie ever called Galmar.”

“Same here,” said Syvarris.

They were suddenly interrupted by a loud rasping sound coming from the other side of the hole in the wall. They quickly scrambled through it. The kyrie was grasping one of the soldiers by his throat with his powerful arm and holding him against the wall. He said nothing as the man’s face slowly turned blue.

“Let him go!” shouted Syvarris. The kyrie did not respond. He looked steadily into the man’s eyes as he gasped for breath. Suddenly, with a yell and a flurry of red, the second samurai leapt through the air directly at the kyrie. The effect was instantaneous. The kyrie whirled around, caught the samurai in the chest, and hurled him down on the floor of the cave with such force that the rock cracked where he hit it. The samurai did not move. The kyrie turned back to the man slumped against the wall and grasped his throat a second time.

“Drop him.” Syvarris commanded. He had drawn an arrow, one of his last, and now stood with his bow drawn tight. “Drop him.” He repeated.
The kyrie did not move a muscle.

Syvarris had not fully intended to shoot the kyrie, but he soon saw he had no choice. He released the arrow.

The kyrie’s hand passed before the projected path of the arrow and it turned in mid-air. A second to late Syvarris realized it was heading for him. The arrow would have buried itself deep within his skull had not the samurai next to him drawn his sword to deflect it. Unfortunately, his stroke was misaimed, and the arrow instead drove into his chest.
He crumpled to the ground at the exact same time as the soldier. The kyrie turned to face Syvarris.

To be continued...

Writing - Researching
Spoiler Alert!

Last edited by The Grim Reaper's Friend; December 13th, 2010 at 10:57 PM.
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  #5  
Old December 13th, 2010, 10:53 PM
bumper15 bumper15 is offline
 
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

What the...!! I wish I had that kind of speed, that was inhuman, even inKyrie!! This guy is trouble, even though he isn't a general.
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  #6  
Old December 13th, 2010, 10:58 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

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Originally Posted by bumper15 View Post
What the...!! I wish I had that kind of speed, that was inhuman, even inKyrie!! This guy is trouble, even though he isn't a general.
Just wait 'til we get the fourth installment. Might be fifth, not sure yet.

Writing - Researching
Spoiler Alert!
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  #7  
Old December 13th, 2010, 11:01 PM
sixthflagbearer sixthflagbearer is offline
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

I'm glued to my seat...


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  #8  
Old December 13th, 2010, 11:07 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

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I'm glued to my seat...
Boy, maybe I should go ahead and release part three tomorrow.

Writing - Researching
Spoiler Alert!
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  #9  
Old December 13th, 2010, 11:44 PM
sixthflagbearer sixthflagbearer is offline
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

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Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by sixthflagbearer View Post
I'm glued to my seat...
Boy, maybe I should go ahead and release part three tomorrow.
Or right now (it is hard to sleep when your butt is glued to a chair


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Originally Posted by Revdyer View Post
Special Attacks are severely modified by death.
Trade Thread Selling most of my collection!
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  #10  
Old December 14th, 2010, 02:18 AM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

Quote:
Originally Posted by sixthflagbearer View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by sixthflagbearer View Post
I'm glued to my seat...
Boy, maybe I should go ahead and release part three tomorrow.
Or right now (it is hard to sleep when your butt is glued to a chair
Well, I don't quite have that much time. I'll write it up tomorrow afternoon for sure.

Writing - Researching
Spoiler Alert!
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  #11  
Old December 14th, 2010, 10:17 AM
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Corzan Corzan is offline
 
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

Waiting in eager anticipation!

Great job so far!

Kinda (sorta) taking a break from HSers. Check out Toraili, a group effort by me and I Hate Atlaga.

And if there's one thread I'll still post in, it's the Minecraft thread, here.
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  #12  
Old December 14th, 2010, 07:30 PM
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Wonderball68 Wonderball68 is offline
 
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Re: Valhalla Reborn

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
Syvarris had not fully intended to shoot the kyrie, but he soon saw he had no choice. He released the arrow.

The kyrie’s hand passed before the projected path of the arrow and it turned in mid-air. A second to late Syvarris realized it was heading for him. The arrow would have buried itself deep within his skull had not the samurai next to him drawn his sword to deflect it. Unfortunately, his stroke was misaimed, and the arrow instead drove into his chest.
I predict that if this story is published the above passage will be tested on an episode of Mythbusters.

Nice work btw
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