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  #13  
Old April 14th, 2022, 06:44 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: The Curse of Feylund

Spoiler Alert!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Developing...
Spoiler Alert!

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  #14  
Old April 15th, 2022, 02:35 AM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is online now
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Re: The Curse of Feylund

11-14

Spoiler Alert!


~TAF

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

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  #15  
Old April 15th, 2022, 07:08 AM
AMIS AMIS is offline
 
Join Date: February 4, 2010
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Re: The Curse of Feylund

Quick note:
Avoid parenthesis whenever possible. It's a great tool when writing an essay or an email but can through readers off a fiction.

Spoiler Alert!


At Chapter 14. Very good story.

Just when you thought it was all right, someone made it alright.

Good trades with - Porkins / xraine69 / mac122 (x2) / frylock / Ztimster (x2) and probably others I forgotten to mention...sorry.

Last edited by AMIS; April 15th, 2022 at 07:09 AM. Reason: Flying through this...must've caught me.
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  #16  
Old April 15th, 2022, 12:31 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,478
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 105
The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: The Curse of Feylund

Quote:
Originally Posted by AMIS View Post
Quick note:
Avoid parenthesis whenever possible. It's a great tool when writing an essay or an email but can through readers off a fiction.

Spoiler Alert!


At Chapter 14. Very good story.
The use of parentheses are I believe a stylistic choice. While I can't find any examples off the top of my head, I'm sure several well-published authors use them.

That is of course irrelevant if they throw readers off. I myself do not mind them when reading, but if they're something which can throw readers then it might be good practice to avoid them. I'll look into public sentiment on them.

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Developing...
Spoiler Alert!

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  #17  
Old April 15th, 2022, 12:52 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,478
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 105
The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: The Curse of Feylund

Spoiler Alert!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Developing...
Spoiler Alert!

Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old April 16th, 2022, 01:32 AM
TheAverageFan's Avatar
TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is online now
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Re: The Curse of Feylund

Quote:
Originally Posted by AMIS
Quick note:
Avoid parenthesis whenever possible. It's a great tool when writing an essay or an email but can through readers off a fiction.
How did you ever finish my novel if you've got issues with parenthetical statements? I use them constantly.


15-finish

Spoiler Alert!


Final thoughts:
Spoiler Alert!


~TAF, curious to hear AMIS' final thoughts to see if any of it lines up with mine

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

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  #19  
Old April 16th, 2022, 02:16 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,478
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 105
The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: The Curse of Feylund

Response to TAF:
Spoiler Alert!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Developing...
Spoiler Alert!

Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old April 16th, 2022, 09:52 PM
TheAverageFan's Avatar
TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is online now
Competitive Fan Fiction Champion & Grade A Meme CoNtributor
 
Join Date: December 17, 2009
Location: USA - OH - West Chester
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Re: The Curse of Feylund

Spoiler Alert!


~TAF

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old April 17th, 2022, 07:50 AM
AMIS AMIS is offline
 
Join Date: February 4, 2010
Location: Canada
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AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby!
Re: The Curse of Feylund

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMIS View Post
Quick note:
Avoid parenthesis whenever possible. It's a great tool when writing an essay or an email but can through readers off a fiction.

Spoiler Alert!


At Chapter 14. Very good story.
The use of parentheses are I believe a stylistic choice. While I can't find any examples off the top of my head, I'm sure several well-published authors use them.

That is of course irrelevant if they throw readers off. I myself do not mind them when reading, but if they're something which can throw readers then it might be good practice to avoid them. I'll look into public sentiment on them.

~TGRF.
Spoiler Alert!


Also let me apologize for disappearing for a couple of days...my computer blew up...it's all good now.

Just when you thought it was all right, someone made it alright.

Good trades with - Porkins / xraine69 / mac122 (x2) / frylock / Ztimster (x2) and probably others I forgotten to mention...sorry.

Last edited by AMIS; April 17th, 2022 at 07:50 AM. Reason: I hate technology...and it hates me.
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  #22  
Old April 17th, 2022, 09:00 AM
AMIS AMIS is offline
 
Join Date: February 4, 2010
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AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby!
Re: The Curse of Feylund

Well paced. I only slowed a couple of times, and once was a major technical issue nothing to do with the story.

Chapter 20 seemed to be a let’s get this thing wrapped up chapter instead of a continuation of the story which was a little disappointing but all in all a really good read.

I would say 7 of 10.

Spoiler Alert!

Just when you thought it was all right, someone made it alright.

Good trades with - Porkins / xraine69 / mac122 (x2) / frylock / Ztimster (x2) and probably others I forgotten to mention...sorry.

Last edited by AMIS; April 17th, 2022 at 09:00 AM. Reason: Good Story
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  #23  
Old April 17th, 2022, 12:51 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,478
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 105
The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla The Grim Reaper's Friend is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: The Curse of Feylund

Quote:
Originally Posted by AMIS
Absolutely it's a stylistic choice, but unless used often within a story, it throws readers off. So far this was the only one I saw in 14 chapters. They may have been in others but this one was unmistakable in pit stopping the story for a minute.
Ah, I see what you're getting at now. Yes, that is legitimately something to avoid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMIS View Post
Well paced. I only slowed a couple of times, and once was a major technical issue nothing to do with the story.

Chapter 20 seemed to be a let’s get this thing wrapped up chapter instead of a continuation of the story which was a little disappointing but all in all a really good read.
I did this same thing in the first story, and intend to do it in the third story. You need a wrap up chapter, which answers the most immediate questions. The epilogue answers everything else. Is it a true chapter? No, it's more of an epilogue. But it's very different from the actual epilogue, and deserves its own section. And since I can't very well have two epilogues... you get chapter 20.

Spoiler Alert!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Developing...
Spoiler Alert!

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  #24  
Old April 18th, 2022, 08:06 AM
AMIS AMIS is offline
 
Join Date: February 4, 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,044
AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby! AMIS rolls all skulls baby!
Re: The Curse of Feylund

Spoiler Alert!


I am looking forward to the sequel. Will have to re-read Dilmir.

Just when you thought it was all right, someone made it alright.

Good trades with - Porkins / xraine69 / mac122 (x2) / frylock / Ztimster (x2) and probably others I forgotten to mention...sorry.

Last edited by AMIS; April 18th, 2022 at 04:19 PM. Reason: AMIS is waiting for artwork before new work published.
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