Well I don't know how many of you are familiar with Myvra but a long while back Deliriant designed her to be the 6th general his original thread can be found here: http://www.heroscapers.com/community...ad.php?t=31474.
Recently Project Myvra got back on its feet and as part of that heavyfishcannon and I have been working on some little blurbs for a backstory about Myvra. This is my first fanfiction so any suggestions will be welcome. So with great pride I introduce chapter 1 & 2 of The Rise of Myvra.
Character Bios
Spoiler Alert!
Clockwork Knights: (Fi Skirata)
The Clockwork Knights have long been the servants of Myvra. She built the first one when she was but a child, and programmed them to have a sense of optimism similar to her own. She used these forces to secure her small territory in the west, and they have recently become an essentially part of her grand army, which she hopes to use to expand her ‘influence’…
Ethersea Pirates: (Fi Skirata)
Myvra’s visions expanded past the planets other generals had seen, to small planet called Terrenai. This planet, filled with rogues and misfits would become the planet from which most of her soldiers came from. She took a chance on a small band of pirates, who were going to be executed for their crimes. Seeing in them, a chance to gain a powerful ally, she decided to save their lives, and was not displeased in what she had gained…
Ramnakite: (William099)
Long has Ramnakite been an integral part of Myvra's court. His wisdom and ferocity has served Myvra well throughout her kingdom's existence. Therefore it is no surprise that Myvra calls upon Ramnakite to serve her in this the greatest of Wars. When Myvra found his egg in the mountains as an infant she bonded with the dragon immediately and they have been together ever since.
Celestine Sirens: (William099)
The terrors of war can be cruel and often wear on the strongest of warriors. For that reason Myvra searched for something to ease the burden on those who attended her courts. She searched far and wide and eventually came upon the Celestine Sirens. Their power to mesmerize had led many unwitting sailors on the Kinsland seas to their deaths but their songs would serve as just the right counter to her ailing troops morale. To Myvra's surprise some of the Sirens were so militant they would rather add their songs to the battlefield than deign to attend Myvra's courtiers.
Isthe, Relicmage: (William099)
Once a servant of the Archkyrie Utgar, Isthe was disturbed by the violent warlords malicious schemes for the other inhabitants of Valhalla. Isthe was satisfied in his position as long as Utgar did not have the power to carry out his madness. That all changed in an instant with the discovery of the wellsprings and the rise of the Valkyrie. In the wellsprings Isthe saw Utgar's chance to rise to power. So Isthe fled Utgar's courts taking with him some of Utgar's most powerful artifacts, the Aethershadow cloak, the Blade of the Fallen and the Devil's Luck Pistol. Hounded by Utgar's minions he fled to the Archkyrie Myvra seeking sanctuary. Myvra was intrigued by Isthe's tricky ways and granted his wish, giving him a position as her right hand.
Gregor Crookedgear: (William099)
On her search for units to fill out her ranks Myvra used the wellsprings to peer deep into the mines of the dwarves of Spirit Mountain. There she found a lone dwarf lurking in a corner muttering incoherent inanities to himself. This dwarf was more machine than living flesh and thus was shunned by his dwarven brethern, but he possessed unseen amounts of mechanical strength. "He will fit in well here among my machines!" Myvra declared. So she had him brought to Valhalla to serve her.
Henry K. Fredrick: (William099)
As Myvra's search continued she begin looking for a way to increase her numbers locally without drawing on the strength of the wellspring. Her gaze fell upon the human inventor Henry K. Fredrick. Henry was a rough business man whose robots were well known the world over. A little to well known for Henry's sake. A ruthless competitor had arranged for Henry to meet an unfortunate end in an "industrial accident." Just as Henry was about to be crushed beneath unyielding metal Myvra wished him away to Valhalla to build machines for her.
Xaaji, Fatemage: (William099)
Oft whispered of but rarely seen are the elusive fatemages of Terrenia. Legend says that they alone hold the lives of all Terrenians in their hands, and that to fall under the gaze of a fatemage is to invite doom upon oneself.
H.K. Crawlers: (Fi Skirata)
Henry K. Fredrick’s factory on Earth produced many cutting edge technology, but the best where his patented pending Crawlers. When Myvra brought Henry too Valhalla, she also brought several Crawlers with him. After reprogramming them to work as bodyguards for Myvra’s soldiers, Henry continues to replace the destroyed crawlers and send them out to keep the soldiers safe…
Ashra: (William099)
On the slopes of Spirit Mountain one must be swift and graceful to navigate the treacherous crags, Ashra was revered as one of the most fleet of foot on the entire mountain that is until she mysteriously disappeared. Now in Valhalla she continues to make a name for herself in the service of Myvra her graceful prowess in combat has even inspired a group of elves to declare themselves "the Warriors of Ashra" in a cult-like veneration of her agility.
Medgar Copperbones: (Fi Skirata)
Medgar Copperbones was set to be hanged by the Gallows for his crimes, when Myvra intervened and saved him from his fate. Now reunited with his pirate crew, he uses his famous blunderbuss to fight for Myvra in the battle of all time.
Boglins: (Fi Skirata)
Born in the swamps of Toril, these disgusting Goblins will fight against their brethren for the cause of good. They prefer to soak up water, which helps them feel healthier and to move faster, but causes them to get careless. Never fear though, more can appear from the swamps at any time...
Ragnaroth, Archmage: (William099)
A man in ornamented robes steps to the podium in the newly constructed Mage's college of Terrenia. Looking down at the three Magi beneath him he says, "To long have you all gone your own way, and not given a care to the world beyond the survival of you and your disciples!" The world is in flux! Pirates are making the seas more dangerous as the years go by, strange creatures threaten the cities, it is time to let our petty quarrels die and let the powers of Fate, War and Subtlety combine! Bring your disciples here to the College! Let us forge them into a unified front against that which threatens the world!!
CHAPTER 1 ~ William099
Spoiler Alert!
With the clanking of metal on stone a Clockwork Knight marches into the throne room of the Archkyrie Myvra. Kneeling before her throne and placing a fist to his chest, in a mechanical monotone, he begins to give his report.
“Your majesty, reports of a new magic have begun to spread across the land.”
“Is that so?” Myvra trills. “Do tell what is this magic?”
“A kyrie named Thormun has discovered a series of powerful wellsprings, which give those who drink the waters an unnatural longevity, as well as the power to summon beings from other worlds. Already 5 of your fellow Archkyrie have begun to vie for control of these resources and to summon armies for themselves. The Archkyrie Utgar appears to have world conquest in mind. What will we do milady? Will we join forces against him? Or shall we remain aloof?”
Myvra pauses to look around her throne room. It is eclectically decorated with many strange devices and musical instruments. Harps and drums and other less describable implements lay scattered around the floor. While Myvra’s clockwork servants meander around dusting and caring for them. Turning to her advisor Isthe she asks, “What would you say Isthe? Should we wait and watch? Or take a more active hand in the world?”
Isthe pauses for a moment and then speaks, “I think it would be best my lady if we searched out a wellspring for ourselves, and begin the search for some new beings of our own. Then we watch how the battle progresses and throw in our weight to the side that would appear to benefit us most.”
“Sound advice Isthe! We shall do that!” Turning to the still kneeling Knight Myvra says, “Head to the barracks immediately and prepare a party to go in search of a wellspring!” Leaning back in her mechanical throne Myvra dreams of the powers she would summon with her very own wellspring, towering machines, strange creatures that no eye had yet beheld, and powerful mages to alter the battlefield pass before her mind’s eye, and a smile plays across her face.
CHAPTER 2 ~ heavyfishcannon
Spoiler Alert!
The sound of metallic marching echos through the canyon. A battalion of Clockwork Knights, and some larger creations, walk in an organized line, taking great care to avoid a snaking river, that extends through the chasm. Atop one of the larger automata, lies a lone human, clad in black. He is Isthe, professional relic finder, part time mage, and second in command to lady Myvra. A single assistant, a re-purposed Steamknight, serves as bodyguard to Isthe.
"I don't like the direction we are going in." says Isthe. "Do the navigational drones know what they are doing? We are cutting right through the territory of Utgar! The paranoid warlord would not appreciate our meddling in his affairs. Couldn't we have tried to nick one from one of the other generals? Why couldn't we have taken one from that tree-hugger and his elves?"
The android turns to face Isthe "Well, Our spies have informed the mistress that the majority of Utgar's forces are en route to the northlands. A strategic strike on this post was deemed the most tactically sound. Do not worry, master. This wellspring will soon be ours!"
That was one of the advantages of using androids. For some reason that was probably only known to lady Myvra, The androids seemed to share the same mind, knowing what others knew, seeing what the others saw. Very useful for relaying orders, and bookkeeping. The only problem was that they were all strangely optimistic, even at the worst of times. Still, despite his servitor's insistence not to, Isthe worried about the looming black citadel, growing increasingly larger, as they neared one of Utgar's strongholds. Isthe fears the confrontation, having seen firsthand what Utgar does to deserters. He prays that the estimates where correct, and that the androids hold up, or else Isthe, former soldier of Utgar, was about to see the insides of a Marro hive, and not as an honored guest.
The column of Clockwork knights had made it to within 30 meters of the wall when they were spotted. The blare of a hunting horn and a volley of roughly hewn arrows greeted the approaching legions of Myvra. Fortunately, Isthe noticed, the large amounts of steam coming from his troops reduced the visibility of his forces, and the arrows either went wide or fell short. Isthe smirked to himself. Typical of Orcs, Couldn’t hit anything, even if their masters were aiming their bows for them! Still, it occurred to Isthe, if the shot were lucky enough to hit something, it would most likely be lucky enough to take down his troops.
Indeed, he thought, patting a pistol holstered at his side. A little luck is all you’ll ever need. A little bad luck, and his spine is on the outside. 20 meters. A few knights at the front of the column went down in a hail of bullets. A single large, black soulborg stands on the castle parapet. While Isthe recognized it as a Deathwalker, he could not tell what model. Most likely, a new model. Things suddenly seemed very dire for Isthe. Maybe a lot of luck would be needed. The Deathwalker turned and faced Isthe and his retinue. A large conical shape burst out of a compartment in the Deathwalker’s chest, before flying off at Isthe. Thinking quickly, Isthe dove away before the missile hit where he was a moment earlier. The shockwave obliterated Isthe’s assistant, and shot him several meters away.
A smile edged across Isthe’s face. “Looks like we found a way in. Stand back, I want to try something!” Leaping from the wreck, Isthe lead a one-man charge to the castle wall. The Deathwalker took interest, and prepared to lock on to Isthe, who had made it to 5 meters from the wall. With an earsplitting screech, the missile flew at Isthe, smashing into the wall. The section of the wall collapsed, and Isthe just barely escaped the debris. Before the dust had time to clear, Isthe leapt into the ruins. He landed awkwardly in the midst of some shell-shocked Gruts, and realized he was in the barracks. Isthe slew the Orcs, and stopped to try and get the stains out of his trench coat.
Just then, Isthe was thrown onto the hard floor of the barracks. Turning around, Isthe stared up at possibly the most well- armored Orc he had ever seen. Isthe tried to get up, but the Orc stomped on his chest, pinning him. Just as it raises a spear over its head to finish him off, several loud sounds filled the large room, and the Orc went flying several meters away, smashing through a wooden support pillar, and landing hard on a wooden table. Getting up slowly and painfully, Isthe looked at a gleaming bronze juggernaut, which held a large machine gun in its hands. Ebberson 7 marched in, followed by several clockwork knights. Ebberson turned, and opened fire on a Grut archer, tearing through the beam he was hiding behind in the process. The creaking of unsupported timber rattles through the barracks, and cracks appeared on the ceiling. “Be careful with that thing!” Isthe barked at Ebberson. “A few more shots like that and this whole building gives!”
Ebberson looked at Isthe, and tilted its head to the side. Isthe sighed. Another disadvantage with the automata was that the larger they got, the less intelligent they became. “Okay, we need the well spring, right?” Ebberson nods in agreement. “And if we destroy one of these buildings, we might also destroy the wellspring!” Finally, Isthe saw some recognition. “Very good, now…” Isthe’s sentence is interrupted, as the wall opposite to the hole he had made goes up in an explosion. Through the new hole marched the now familiar Deathwalker, followed by several black and red painted Gladiatrons. The sight of other machines sent Myvra’s automata into a frenzy, compromising their usual good nature. With the sound of a dozen car crashes, the two forces of machines leapt upon one another. Isthe realized at that point there was no use waiting, and he darted to the nearest exit. Appearing outside, Isthe realized that twilight had fallen, casting long shadows across the field, a smile crept across Isthe’s face. This was his favorite kind of battlefield. Blending into the shadows, Isthe crept across the courtyard, occasionally stopping to execute a straggler. With the all-encompassing brawl in the barracks still raging, it was time to escape the simpletons. Isthe smiled to himself. Now all he needed was to find that wellspring.
Surveying the area, Isthe saw what appeared to be a latrine, another barracks, several tents, and a large, chapel like structure. Making his way to the obvious location, Isthe entered the chapel. Pulling out his gun and pistol, Isthe snuck inside. Isthe could hardly believe his eyes. What was once a place of Kyrie worship had been profaned hideously by its current inhabitants. A dead human lay nailed to the wall, several arrows sticking out of the surrounding wall, in addition to one in the man’s chest. Several oil slicks covered the wall and ground, as well as many far-more-sinister spills.
Isthe hurried past the ruined entrance and down the hallway. Isthe could hear running water by then. This must be the wellspring, he thought. Isthe opened the door at the end of the corridor, and was greeted by 3 pikes shoved towards him. 3 more heavily armored Gruts surrounded Isthe, who was now looking at the wellspring at the other end of the room. More specifically, Isthe was looking at a tall man in a trench coat with a katana, standing on the cusp of the wellspring. “Was wondering when you’d get here, partner!” The man said, as he jumped down to be level with Isthe. “We’re not partners” Isthe growled. “Of course not, you betrayed us!” declared the man.
The man began to walk up to Isthe. “Heller, you fool! You blindly follow any finger that points you in a forward direction! Did you even notice all the artifacts you had destroyed when you turned this place into to a pig pen?” Isthe mumbled, spitting at the nearest Grut. “This? This is but child’s play, my impatient friend, compared to what Utgar will give me! What’s the glory of a single monastery, compared to a palace?” Heller boasted, swinging his katana behind him. “What’s the glory of a palace compared to your free will?” Isthe retorted. “You sold yourself to Utgar, for some gold and pleasure. I may not be proud of what I did for Utgar to seek me out, but at least I had the integrity to not sell my soul for his favor!” Isthe continued. If he could just keep Heller talking, Isthe thought, he could finish his plan. The Gruts had gotten uncomfortable. “Oh Isthe, you always where the melodramatic one! Brumnak, kill him!” The Grut lunged at Isthe with his halberd, which Isthe dodged with ease. Isthe jumped back next to the Grut, and stabbed through a chink in its armor, causing it to go down. Then, Isthe charged at Heller. Heller’s katana was far longer than Isthe’s knife, which worried him. Isthe had to be faster. Isthe’s first several jabs where easily deflected, and Heller chuckled. Thankfully, Heller had always been a lackluster swordsman at the best of times, and most of his attacks where easily dodged. Isthe heard the clanking of plate armor, and turned to face another Orc. Isthe leapt for the Orc, as Heller’s blade kissed the ground where Isthe had been. Heller has gotten better. He must have been training since their last meeting. Or was there something more to it? Isthe thought, as he cut the neck of the armored Orc. Heller swung again, this time it grazed Isthe, cutting a gash in his trench coat. Something was definitely going on, Isthe thought.
Isthe looked closer at the blade, and only then did he notice the pulsating runes across the blade, glowing blood red. Heller had gotten his hands on an accursed sword! Isthe undid the safety on his pistol, as he realized he needed to use his artifact after all. Taking aim, Isthe fired 4 shots at Heller. Heller was a quick thinker, though, and he grabbed the last Orc, who soaked up the bullets, before falling limp to the ground. The entire blade was glowing red, and coursed with power. Heller lunged at Isthe, knocking him onto the marble floor below. Heller stood before Isthe, an obnoxious expression of sinister glee on his face. “And thus ends the esteemed relicmage Isthe, betrayer of Utgar, and first victim of me! You will make a delightful trophy, old man!”
Isthe’s eyes darted around the room, looking for a way to escape. He had 2 bullets left. Isthe took aim, and fired a shot at Heller, who reflected it with his sword. One bullet left. Isthe kept looking around, until he saw it. “You know Heller, you should really take care of your finds!” “I believe we have already talked about this. Now, no more games, stay still so I can end you!” roared Heller. Isthe fired a shot, but it wasn’t aimed at Heller. It was aimed at a large, unseemly crack on the ceiling. The bullet hit the ceiling. Several cracks spider webbed across the ceiling, and Isthe could hear overstressed stone. “Also, you may wish to pay more attention.” The rock above Heller’s head collapsed, crushing him under many tons of rock and wood.
Isthe slowly, painfully got up, as the flickering light of the evening sun bathed the room with light. Isthe walked over to the rock pile, and dug out Heller’s katana. Turning it in his hands, Isthe learned that it was the Blade of the Fallen, a cursed blade that grew more powerful the more people its wielder must avenge. Isthe was interrupted from his thoughts by the clank of clanging of gears. Turning, Isthe came face to face with a very battered Clockwork knight. “Sir, the perimeter is secured. Moderate casualties. Ebberson requires extensive repair. I have already sent for Lady Myvra.” The construct turned to face the pile of rubble. “Sir,” It said, in the closest tone of voice to sarcasm it could muster. “I was unaware you where exempt from your own orders. I take it you have finished?” Isthe told the android to leave, while making the mental note that the more damaged the automata was, the more cynical they became. Yet another disadvantage of machines, yet another reason Isthe needed Myvra to get a hold of some more soldiers.
Chapter 3 ~ Fi Skirata
Spoiler Alert!
The troops came to a swift attention as Isthe walked by surveying their ranks. The small army had to be able to hold this fortification for Myvra, as it was now her sole source for new soldiers. As it was, an army of a troubling size had been spotted heading in from the north. And they aren’t coming for a celebratory dinner, Isthe thought with a cynical grin. His troops still consisted mainly of clockwork knights, but there were also some new additions in the form of a pirate crew and several sirens from his home world. He continued to walk down the line, looking at the new faces that had been drafted to his master’s cause.
He saw a small dwarf on a mechanical contraption, and a dragon whose colors matched Myvra’s. There was also what looked like a group of assassins in the back rows, who wore hoods and face masks and appeared to be under the command of a mysterious, Asian fellow with a long sword. He continued to walk down the line, and was startled as a familiar face appeared. “Ragnorath”! He exclaimed as his old teacher stepped out of the ranks of soldiers. The two grasped hands and stood studying each other for a moment, to see if the other had changed in the four years that Isthe had been gone.
Eventually, they nodded to each other as Isthe continued down the row and Ragnorath stepped back into place. As he continued walking, Isthe noticed a couple other familiar faces. He saw at least two he knew for sure; Xaaji, the mage who had excelled in the Fate category and Donin, his old friend, who had done well with the War part of their mage studies. As he walked off towards Myvra’s command tent, he wondered how many other mages were here on Valhalla. After all, Utgar had someone too, and who knew how many more the other generals might have. He also wondered when he should tell Ragnorath about Heller’s demise, the young mage had been Ragnorath’s pupil once. Well, there will be time for that later. Isthe thought. After the battle, I will tell him everything. He pushed that from his mind and started to work on battle plans to advise to Myvra as he continued to walk towards her tent. If there was one thing he was sure of, then it was that the large marro army approaching wouldn’t be an easy enemy…
Ah, I have arrived. You seem to be off to a good start, but there are a few grammar issues. First off is the whole tense. Personally, I find it infinitely easier to write and read in the past tense, but of course, that's up to you. However, in chapter one, you use 'began' twice. I believe it should be 'begun'.
The rest of it is fine, except for the last paragraph or so of the secodn chapter, in which a little tense shifting occurs. Other than that, great start!
~TGRF.
P.S. Yes, I'm picky about these things.
P.P.S. The thing is, everyone is talking in past tense already, so the reader has to keep on shifting from present to past and back to present, which really breaks up narration. What I would recommend is shifting it all to past tense. It flows a lot better that way.
Fan Fiction: Kresnik (temp title): Worldbuilding/Assembling story...
Interest: Medium [Untitled] (HiS sequel): Assembling story
Interest: High
Novels: (Interest: Medium) Still yet another newer setting forming...
Interest is currently on: Writing.
Writer Notes: Investigate desync between subplot count and story length.
Here is a Bio for the Clockwork Knights, which I put in their tome, but I figured you might want to add it here as well...
The Clockwork Knights have long been the servants of Myvra. She built the first one when she was but a child, and programmed them to have a sense of optimism similar to her own. She used these forces to secure her small territory in the west, and they have recently become an essentially part of her grand army, which she hopes to use to expand her ‘influence’…
I know it is not super long, but I hope you all enjoy it .
Edit: Here is the bio for the Pirates:
Myvra’s visions expanded past the planets other generals had seen, to small planet called Terrenai. This planet, filled with rogues and misfits would become the planet from which most of her soldiers came from. She took a chance on a small band of pirates, who were going to be executed for their crimes. Seeing in them, a chance to gain a powerful ally, she decided to save their lives, and was not displeased in what she had gained…
Here is a Bio for the Clockwork Knights, which I put in their tome, but I figured you might want to add it here as well...
The Clockwork Knights have long been the servants of Myvra. She built the first one when she was but a child, and programmed them to have a sense of optimism similar to her own. She used these forces to secure her small territory in the west, and they have recently become an essentially part of her grand army, which she hopes to use to expand her ‘influence’…
I know it is not super long, but I hope you all enjoy it .
Edit: Here is the bio for the Pirates:
Myvra’s visions expanded past the planets other generals had seen, to small planet called Terrenai. This planet, filled with rogues and misfits would become the planet from which most of her soldiers came from. She took a chance on a small band of pirates, who were going to be executed for their crimes. Seeing in them, a chance to gain a powerful ally, she decided to save their lives, and was not displeased in what she had gained…
Henry K. Fredrick’s factory on Earth produced many cutting edge technology, but the best where his patented pending Crawlers. When Myvra brought Henry too Valhalla, she also brought several Crawlers with him. After reprogramming them to work as bodyguards for Myvra’s soldiers, Henry continues to replace the destroyed crawlers and send them out to keep the soldiers safe…
Medgar Copperbones was set to be hanged by the Gallows for his crimes, when Myvra intervened and saved him from his fate. Now reunited with his pirate crew, he uses his famous blunderbuss to fight for Myvra in the battle of all time.
Chapter 3 done! Is anybody actually reading this? If so is the editing the op and the bumping the thread an annoying way to do this and would you prefer that I put each new chapter as a new post?
April 24th, 2012, 09:46 PM
William099 is Lord of Blades...
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