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  #6025  
Old May 28th, 2010, 11:13 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

that's briliant, Tang! and it's getting both of badgers ideas into one.. any wording sugestions, before editing in to the card?
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  #6026  
Old May 29th, 2010, 05:35 PM
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Re: NM24 - Process

Quote:
UNCONTROLLABLE DEMON
This card starts the game with this side up.Before taking a turn with The Hood, you must roll the 20-sided die and add one to the roll for each Wound Marker on this card. If you roll a 15 or higher, turn this card over.All Order Markers and Wound Markers remain on this card.
I just thought it made more sense if he starts human and goes into a demon frenzy later.
Quote:
REGAINING CONTROL
Before taking a turn with The Hood, roll the 20-sided die and subtract one from the roll for each Wound Marker on this card. If you roll a 13 or higher, turn this card over. All Order Markers and Wound Markers remain on this card.
Changed the power's name because it makes more sense if uncontrollable demon is you turning into a demon. Doesn't make as much sense the opposite, but feel free to turn it back if you want. I changed the die rolls a little based on what I think you want to do. Hope you enjoy.

EDIT:Made the UNCONTROLLABLE DEMON roll a little higher.

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Last edited by Master Tang; May 29th, 2010 at 06:14 PM.
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  #6027  
Old May 29th, 2010, 05:59 PM
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Re: NM24 - Process

I still think the "turn" should be rarer. I might start with a required roll of 18 or higher as opposed to 13. With the Wound Marker bonus, that could bring it down the that 13ish range.

I think this is a good place to build tension, in much the same way that Red Skull or Doom have abilities that require much higher rolls. They aren't likely to happen, but there is always that chance looming.

I think that adds to not only the theme, but the fun in playing the card.
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  #6028  
Old May 31st, 2010, 07:58 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

How does this seem to work, I really think he'd turned out way much better then at the begining..
and actually I had gotten a little behind with the recent story's of The Hood in Dark Reign and Siege, but this really seems to sieze what he he is about..


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  #6029  
Old May 31st, 2010, 08:31 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

- Under Uncontrollable Demon, I think you want to say, "add one to the roll for each Wound Marker..." and "If you roll an 18 or higher..."

- On the Dormammu side of the card, there are a couple of typos. It should be "Empower" and "Vengeful." Terrorizing Illusions is also missing a period at the end of the text.
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  #6030  
Old May 31st, 2010, 10:38 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherman Davies View Post
- Under Uncontrollable Demon, I think you want to say, "add one to the roll for each Wound Marker..." and "If you roll an 18 or higher..."
Yep

And I thought the change was going to be to "Friendly" criminals getting a boost from Ambitions Crimelord.

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  #6031  
Old May 31st, 2010, 11:49 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

And to add to the list of tweaks, I'm assuming you are starting on the Human side? I would just think it would be good to clarify, otherwise people may think they can start on whatever side they want. Looking good

The only things are (just summarizing):
  • Ambitious Crimelord - Change it to only friendly criminals
  • Uncontrollable Demon should say add 1 not subtract one
  • Just clarify what side the card starts on, so there is no confusion

After those changes are made I'll be the first one to give you a thumb.

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  #6032  
Old May 31st, 2010, 11:59 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

1. I think you need to say somewhere on the card (probably under Uncontrollable Demon) that he starts the game as Parker Robbins.

2. Under Turn Invisible, I think you need to be very clear about what happens with the current attack. You specified what happens for the rest of the turn, but does that also apply to the current attack?

3. The word "Medium" for his size needs to be larger.

4. Under Ambitious Crimelord, I think you should stick with the same theme of The Hood and his criminal allies trying to take out opposing crime lords.

The Hood and all criminals you control within 2 clear sight spaces of The Hood roll 2 additional attack dice when attacking Crime Lords.

If you want to keep the bonus for friendly criminals, I would stick with boosting attack values rather than defense values. It is more thematic IMO.

5. I still think there is too much going on on the Parker Robbins side, I would lose the Turn Invisible or the Double Attack. With Ambitious Crimelord, he is already a cheerleader type...I don't know that you need the two extra Robbins powers.

6. So, is it correct that once he turns to the Demon, he never goes back? I believe that is a change. It is fine, but I kind of like that chance that he will go back.

7. A lot of your text on the Demon side need to be vertically aligned.

It is getting there. I really like where it is headed.
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  #6033  
Old June 1st, 2010, 01:43 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

This is just a small thing, but how about removing the parenthesis around the subtitles? It looks unofficial to me.
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  #6034  
Old June 1st, 2010, 11:35 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

Changing the pictures was a very good move. The two sides make much more sense, now.

On Parker Robbins side, under Ambitious Crimelord you refer to "The Rood" instead of "The Hood."

On the Dormammu side, under Terrorizing Illusions, instead of the "attacking figure must roll...", just say "the attacking figure rolls..". Simpler and saves space.

Under Rage, say, "The Hood rolls 1 additional attack die..."

Become invisible should say "an 11 or higher..."

The Text and numbers for his base stats (attack, range, etc.) need to be lined up better.

Lookin' good, bro!

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  #6035  
Old June 2nd, 2010, 06:59 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

Thanks for all the suggestions, I adressed as much as i felt was posible and that I feel good about, and made some other changes..
I removed the double attack as suggested by badger, I gave him an extra defense die to keep the Parker side alive a little longer, and then changed is so he can regain his control, but to give people a reason to do it I gave him a healing bonus while turning the card over, hope that falls in right with you all.
as you can see, other changes where made as well..


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  #6036  
Old June 2nd, 2010, 07:06 AM
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Re: NM24 - Process

Seems pretty good to me.

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