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  #1  
Old July 7th, 2006, 01:41 PM
ultradoug
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My Fiction.

please, dont mention the bad spelling or gramer as I'm sure its in there, other then that, here are two storys I wrote awhile back.
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"Souless."

He opened his eyes, he was standing knee deep in the water, attached into his arm was a device that could use his own life engery to fire small bones that grew for that very reasion, it was all built into him, he was instantly aware of what to do.

Fight.
Destory those that were not like you.
He was a Marro Clone.
He knew who he was following, it was all incoded into his D.N.A. as soon as he had been made. He was nothing more then a copy. He followed his primal mind, without thought he killed and killed again.
He felt no pain, but rather just a disapointment when a sword ran though his chest.
He looked down at it.
He consedered that he would die soon, and knew his chance to clone again would be better in the water, as he could draw engery from it.
But his life was draining away too fast.
His mind could not function, yet somehow he for the first time had his own thought, just for one moment before he closed his eyes forever.
He had the thought , more of a wish.
For something he could not fathem.
The ablity to deside.
The ablity to have chosen perhaps anther path.
But he did not have it.
He would never have it.
He was gone.

He opened his eyes....

_______________________
"Come with me"


His last name was Drake.
He had severed in the army for longer then he cared to rember.
And he was ever so tired of death.
The killing around him had taken its toll.
He reached down to find nothing left of a friend but dogtags.

"Christan-other" It read.
He felt a bitterness for the goverment for dumbing down any answer you gave them when telling them your faith.
There was even talk that the goverment was going to reconise Wica in the army soon.

He felt so bitter. So alone.

Then he saw her.
She had wings.
He droped to his knees.

"An angel?" He asked.

"No... I am a Kyrie. My name is Raelin. Come with me... we nead you."

He did not belive it. But reached up his tired hand, the one with the dog tag still in it.

He vannished.

Others would latter report that he had died in battle along side his friend, without even leaving his dog tags behind.

History would record the events and move on, never knowing the fallen solders name. Eventualy they just marked it as the unknown solder, along with meny others.
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  #2  
Old July 7th, 2006, 02:57 PM
Ryougabot's Avatar
Ryougabot Ryougabot is offline
Insanity of Cohesion
 
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Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun Ryougabot is a penguin with a machine gun
UD,

That was amazing. You captured the essence of those characers more thoroughly and in fewer words than any Bio could have done. You also chose a writing style that kept me interested and wanted to keep reading. I like how the individual thoughts kind of jump from idea to idea. It is more similar to actual thought than to structured writing. It adds a level of Humanity (or Marroity) that the game is a little short on.

BRAVO, you have shown a side of yourself that few have seen and many will appreciate.

-Ryougabot

Find out who works with whom
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  #3  
Old July 7th, 2006, 03:10 PM
ultradoug
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thanks Ryougabot!
___________________________________________________________
"Victory"


When Utgar held a gladiatorial contest to determine who his chief warrior would be....

One of those entrys was Roma. He was a Kyrie, his wings folded up around him keeped him warm as he waited in the wings, the cold from the ice mountan came down.

"Cold." Someone said.

He sighed, "Yes," He sharpened his ax agenst the stone.

"Are you up soon?" The person said.

"Soon." He agree, looking at the warror now, "I might have to kill you."

"Yes, I look foward to it," He smiled, sharpining his sword on the stone.

"I do not. After all, you are my brother." Roma looked into the arena.

"Do not hestate to strike if you face me, I shall not."

Roma looked at him again, "If I face you, I will drop my ax."

"Then you will die."

Roma sighed, "It is time." He went out to face the first oppenent, an hour went by, then two, then three. Finaly, worn, Roma returned.

"You won."

"Yes." Roma said, tired beound words.

"They call us to fight now."

Roma let a tear fall, as they marched out and the horn blew. He droped his ax to the ground, his brother flew in towards him, his sword extended, "I love you Ta-" The sword sliced his head off clean.

The red Kyrie warror looked down, upon his victory, "You could have won." He flew to the side line to wait his turn again.

"Eighty-One warrors to go." He mumered to himself, looking at his sword.

He looked out in time to see the clean up of his brother.

"Goodbye."
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  #4  
Old July 7th, 2006, 08:28 PM
Widigo Widigo is offline
 
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That was awesome, comeing from an aspiaring writer that is a big complament. I am not the only writer that lives and dies by spellcheck's word. Ya. Awesome works.

Sorry If I Spell like a Horgle, or Smell like one.
- Slimbo the Silly Shamin
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  #5  
Old July 14th, 2006, 11:37 PM
player_of_volleyball player_of_volleyball is offline
 
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player_of_volleyball Woo who?
nice work here man. MAKE MORE!! MAKE MORE!!

Yes, finally new and better elves to improve my already thick ranks of elves.

Elves shall prevail!
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  #6  
Old July 19th, 2006, 06:27 PM
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gibberish_47 gibberish_47 is offline
 
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gibberish_47 Woo who?
That... that was actually good! Nice work, UD.

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  #7  
Old July 19th, 2006, 09:19 PM
K/H_Addict K/H_Addict is offline
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K/H_Addict costs too much!
Once upon a time, the world exploded and i lived happily ever after on the moon.
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  #8  
Old July 19th, 2006, 10:08 PM
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Fallen Templar Fallen Templar is offline
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Fallen Templar is surprisingly tart
UD I edited them if you want I'll pm the corrected ones

"The fact is that a man who wants to act virtuously in every way necessarily comes to grief among so many who are not virtuous."- Niccolo Machiavelli


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  #9  
Old July 19th, 2006, 10:15 PM
ultradoug
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sure, thanks.
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