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View Poll Results: When a bum with a sad story asks me for money...
I give him some money and feel good about it 9 21.43%
I give him some money but worry he's a scammer 8 19.05%
I don't give him anything and feel good about it 15 35.71%
I don't give him anything but feel bad about it later 10 23.81%
Voters: 42. You may not vote on this poll

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  #25  
Old August 14th, 2011, 06:43 PM
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Re: Bums

Quote:
Originally Posted by davidlhsl View Post
I picked the second option. My viewpoint is that the person could just as easily take my money by force, so I'd rather not provoke anything and just give some money.
It's never easy to take someone's money. Better to keep a knife on you for just such an occasion.

Quote:
Probably the scariest situation I faced is that a guy gave me a story about having a sick child, and asked me to drive him to give his car a jump start. He kinda pushed his way into my car, and I drove. As I drove, he started changing his story around. I became really scared and dropped him off where he indicated. He asked for money for a tow truck, and I gave him some with the hope that this would allay an attack on me. He kept pressing for my address, as he said he was going to mail me the money back. That I refused, and drove off with some relief.
That's crazy, man. Another reason a handgun is on my most of the time....someone forces their way into my car, they're going to end up getting out at gunpoint or after they've been shot.

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  #26  
Old August 14th, 2011, 08:24 PM
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Re: Bums

The answer to this depends on where I am. Up in Canada, I never give money and feel good about it. There's no reason for anyone up there to panhandle except to get money for drugs, or to avoid doing anything with their life. Tons of government support options that people can access, regardless of beliefs or affiliations.

Now that I'm down in Utah, I tend to give more often. The last recession was really a "man-cession" - the common laborer types got hit hardest. And in this state, unless you pander to the church, no one is looking out for you. Definitely no government backstop or safety net that I can see. So, I'm more inclined to believe people really are destitute and give them a few bucks. They also tend to be less aggressive here, which makes the transaction less stressful.

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Last edited by tannergx; August 14th, 2011 at 08:25 PM. Reason: Punctuation
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  #27  
Old August 14th, 2011, 10:06 PM
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Re: Bums

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperflyTNT View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by davidlhsl View Post
I picked the second option. My viewpoint is that the person could just as easily take my money by force, so I'd rather not provoke anything and just give some money.
It's never easy to take someone's money. Better to keep a knife on you for just such an occasion.

Quote:
Probably the scariest situation I faced is that a guy gave me a story about having a sick child, and asked me to drive him to give his car a jump start. He kinda pushed his way into my car, and I drove. As I drove, he started changing his story around. I became really scared and dropped him off where he indicated. He asked for money for a tow truck, and I gave him some with the hope that this would allay an attack on me. He kept pressing for my address, as he said he was going to mail me the money back. That I refused, and drove off with some relief.
That's crazy, man. Another reason a handgun is on my most of the time....someone forces their way into my car, they're going to end up getting out at gunpoint or after they've been shot.
You must be in texas or something. In Cali, you'd have a battalion of cops on you in a heartbeat if you did that.

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  #28  
Old August 14th, 2011, 10:51 PM
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Re: Bums

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperflyTNT View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by davidlhsl View Post
I picked the second option. My viewpoint is that the person could just as easily take my money by force, so I'd rather not provoke anything and just give some money.
It's never easy to take someone's money. Better to keep a knife on you for just such an occasion.
I was once at a gas station when I paid with a big bill and this thug (possibly a bum, not sure) in line behind me was eyeing up my change when I put it back in my pocket. He followed me out back towards my farm truck, but luckily I keep a nice machete in there for clearing stray brush. He couldn't have turned a made a b-line away any faster after he saw it. I hate to think about what might have happened had my other vehicle instead.
Packing some steel or heat isn't always a bad idea.
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  #29  
Old August 15th, 2011, 07:08 AM
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Re: Bums

Quote:
Originally Posted by davidlhsl View Post
I picked the second option. My viewpoint is that the person could just as easily take my money by force, so I'd rather not provoke anything and just give some money.
I've played the "donate your way out of a mugging" card before. I was at a backwater gas station at 1:30 in AM years ago (before I had a cell phone) with the whole family asleep in the car and this guy was insistent that I give him a ride home. I gave him a couple bucks for cab fare and got the heck out of there. He didn't try to force his way in but I couldn't afford a confrontation with my kids there.

Some may judge me for letting him push me around but I don't own a gun, would be far more likely to hurt myself with a knife than someone else, had my family in the car, and in the words of Jon Lajoie,

"If you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I'm not confident and I'm weak for a man.
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back
yeah honestly- I probably won't fight back."

Last edited by LilMoochie : five minutes ago.
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  #30  
Old August 15th, 2011, 07:31 AM
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Re: Bums

You have your kids in the car, that's a different cup of noodles. In my younger days I'd fight at the drop of a hat, and I usually brought my own hat, but with kids in the car and an unstable situation, it's worth a couple of bucks.

Just a week ago at GenCon I told an overly aggressive bum how it was. They thrive on trying to boss you around, mistaking kindness for weakness.

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  #31  
Old August 15th, 2011, 07:57 AM
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Re: Bums

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperflyTNT View Post
They thrive on trying to boss you around, mistaking kindness for weakness.
Ah yes- So true. The kindness/weakness conundrum has stymied many a male in the locker room. They are so similar and yet so different. They say "nice guys finish last" when, in fact, it is weak guys who finish last.

Last edited by LilMoochie : five minutes ago.
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  #32  
Old August 15th, 2011, 10:08 AM
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Re: Bums

Instead of giving money to homeless people in the streets, it is better to give to charities that will give them meals, shelter and job training. While I used to (and sometimes still) give to people in the street, the risk of a confrontation (with someone who has literally nothing to lose) usually stops me from taking out my wallet and showing how much money I have. While it really hasn't happened, it is enough to keep me walking. After I pass someone, I usually make a charitable contribution out of guilt.
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  #33  
Old August 15th, 2011, 10:54 AM
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Re: Bums

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperflyTNT View Post
Better to keep a knife on you for just such an occasion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElvenEnvy View Post
Packing some steel or heat isn't always a bad idea.
Or even a couple of C or D cells in a handkerchief. A lot less messy than a knife, and a good couple of thumps will sedate all but the most enraged bum, allowing you to call the cops, beat a hasty retreat, etc. Plus, it is a lot less obvious, for those not inclined to display weapons.

Popping an enraged bum (or anyone, for that matter) might sound heartless, but you never know what might set these guys off. A lot of them do need help, but they give up this immediate need when they cross my or my family's personal boundaries.

On another note, I find that asking them for money, before they ask you, confuses them and leaves them momentarily speechless.
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  #34  
Old August 15th, 2011, 11:23 AM
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Re: Bums

The good news is that handgun>knife, and most bums don't have guns, let alone ammo, so if you've got your concealed carry license, bums pose no immediate threat as you can always run a few steps while grabbing your gat.

And FYI, everone has something to lose. A bum can lose his ability to walk if you blow out his knee with a solid low front or side kick. Bums generally won't mess with you if you tell them you're not a mark. It's in their best interests to let you walk on because there's plenty of suckers down the road who are weaker. And they know it.

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  #35  
Old August 15th, 2011, 02:05 PM
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Re: Bums

I think, in most cases, homeless people do have some kind of mental disability as well, or at least some psychological trauma. Even if tomorrow I lost all my family and friends and my house and car as well, I would still be able to find some way to get to a shelter and get fed within a couple days. That doesn't make the homeless any less worthy of your compassion (maybe even makes them more-so) but it's worth keeping in mind.

I am also in the "I don't carry cash" boat most of the time. Not too long ago, I was filling up my car at a gas station right next to a Target. I saw a disheveled man rooting through the trash cans, and I figured he was looking for food. He approached me and asked if he could have some money for something to eat. I noticed that he was missing several fingers from his hands as well. I said, "sure thing man, c'mon over to the Target with me" (probably 100 feet away). He asked if he could just have the cash and I said I didn't have it, but I could buy him something hot from the "restaurant" there or whatever he wanted from the grocery aisle. He said "nevermind" and abruptly turned and walked away. It really bothered me at the time, and it still kinda does. I had no cash to give him, and normally I'd think "well, clearly he wanted it for drugs or booze or something", but this was a guy who was rooting through trash cans and probably was actually hungry. I have no idea why he would refuse my offer, but I imagine it's the same reason he was homeless in the first place, refusing to go to a shelter or whatever it might be. I'm really not sure how to help someone like that, though my heart breaks for them.

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  #36  
Old August 15th, 2011, 02:44 PM
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Re: Bums

Maybe it is splitting hairs to some of you but there is a BIG difference between truly being homeless and being a bum.

Professional bums are not homeless...at all. They just don't want to make an honest living since people are willing to give away their hard earned money for a sob story or a perceived ailment.

Again, if they are coming up to you and asking for it...it's a scam.

Oh, and he was rooting through the trash for scrap metal and what not..things he could trade in for money. He wasn't trying to find food in there.

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Last edited by R˙chean; August 15th, 2011 at 02:51 PM. Reason: bums and homeless are not the same
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