Help With Wurdz

[Scytale]

Originally Posted by Soundwarp SG-1

In particular, I'm wondering about her first power. She's metaphorically the emotional heart of the Burning Forge clan, but in this case it is also the name of the magic shield that allows her to absorb wounds. Would that be clearer if the power name had a 'the' at the beginning?

You're building off of one of the more troublesome powers C3V created, Varan's Purple Heart. That power should always have been "ignore those wounds and place an equal number of wounds on Varan." That's how we've decided Purple Heart actually works, since redirecting wounds has all sorts of problems (with Mortal Strike, for example). I recommend changing your wording here, though latching on to Varan's precedent is understandable.

[Dad_Scaper]

Thanks, Scy.

SW, before I weigh in, please let me know whether Scy's thoughts are sending you back to the drawing board.

[Soundwarp SG-1]

Originally Posted by Scytale

You're building off of one of the more troublesome powers C3V created, Varan's Purple Heart. That power should always have been "ignore those wounds and place an equal number of wounds on Varan." That's how we've decided Purple Heart actually works, since redirecting wounds has all sorts of problems (with Mortal Strike, for example). I recommend changing your wording here, though latching on to Varan's precedent is understandable.

Heh, I was actually the one that asked about that in his public book ages ago. I originally was going to word Ingrid's power differently, but I decided to stick to the closest precedent despite not like it in the first place (for some reason). I'll switch it to an 'ignore wounds' style wording.

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

Thanks, Scy.

SW, before I weigh in, please let me know whether Scy's thoughts are sending you back to the drawing board.

I'm thinking of changing the bit after the comma to:

"you may place one wound marker on this Army Card to ignore one wound that figure just received."

[Dad_Scaper]

Originally Posted by Soundwarp SG-1

I'm thinking of changing the bit after the comma to:

"you may place one wound marker on this Army Card to ignore one wound that figure just received."

Ok.

Ingrid Ironwill:
Name looks good.

I'm not crazy about the power name "Heart of Burning Forge." It can be read in several different ways, and none of them stands out as great metaphors. It's fine, you can keep it if you want, but I was trying to come up with an alternative and I think you may like this one. There may never be another opportunity to use this power name so perfectly:

Spoiler Alert!

Shieldmaiden

Thoughts?

As to the wording of the power, you now propose:
When a Dwarf you control who follows Aquilla and is adjacent to Ingrid Ironwill receives one or more wounds, you may place one wound marker on this Army Card to ignore one wound that figure just received.

It's not pretty, but it's functional and it's thematic. I think it's fine.

Is "Height" normally capitalized in Climb? I suppose it is. That's consistent with similar powers and Attack, Defense, and Move values.

Looks good. Another fine custom, SW.

[Soundwarp SG-1]

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

I'm not crazy about the power name "Heart of Burning Forge." It can be read in several different ways, and none of them stand out as great metaphors. It's fine, you can keep it if you want, but I was trying to come up with an alternative and I think you may like this one. There may never be another opportunity to use this power name so perfectly:

Spoiler Alert!

Shieldmaiden

Thoughts?

Hmm, yeah I do like that name better. Though I might go with 'Dwarven Shieldmaiden', just in case I ever make an actual Viking Shieldmaiden later on.

Is "Height" normally capitalized in Climb? I suppose it is. That's consistent with similar powers and Attack, Defense, and Move values.

It's capitalized on the Axgrinders' and Migol's cards, but not the wolves' or spiders' cards. I just went with the Dwarves here because she's also Dwarf.

Looks good. Another fine custom, SW.

Thanks!

[Dad_Scaper]

Yeah, the inconsistency with the capitalization of "height" is no surprise. Ideally it would not be capitalized, but I'm not surprised that it is, anyway.

Thanks for sharing!

[Dad_Scaper]

Yes, I am available for private consultations. As some of you already know.

[William099]

Spoiler Alert!

Hope I'm not dumping to many on you at once, but I just got done redoing my Warcraft customs (these were the first customs I ever made) I think I was pretty thorough on wording, but didn't think it would hurt to have them looked over again.

[Dad_Scaper]

Thanks for sharing them, William099. I'm working on it.

Just noticed this thread is stickied. Cool!

[Dad_Scaper]

I'm perfectly happy to go through them, William099. I had hoped to reach particularly those cards that are headed to the SoV and other customs projects, for the betterment of the site. As you can see, however, it's been quiet around here, and I'm glad to help all who stop by, anyway.

I have one request, which I'll put in the OP sooner or later, which is that I get a copy/paste of the text I'm proofreading. It saves my little fingers quite a bit of typing, and it also saves my windows browser from having extra tabs or windows open.

Warcraft customs? I'm looking forward to this detour down memory lane. Let's see what we have here:

Arthas (Utgar):

Spoiler Alert!

Right, this was the guy who led the attack on the plagued/not plagued village, right? Or maybe not. It was a long time ago that I knew what was going on in that world.

Coil of Death
The wording on this power is a bit tricky. I know what you wanted, but it's not what you wrote. Here is the power:

After moving and before attacking, choose a figure within 4 clear sight spaces of Arthas. [So far, so good. Now pay attention.] Roll the 20-sided die. On a roll of 1-12 nothing happens. If (a)(1) you roll a 12 or higher and (a)(2) the figure is undead (x) remove 1 wound marker from the chosen figure's card. If (b) the figure is not undead (y) add 1 wound marker to the chosen figure's card. Arthas may not be chosen for Coil of Death.

I added internal section headings to mark off the different sections. Now, let's say I activate Coil of Death, and I roll an 8. What happens? If (a)(1) and (a)(2) trigger, in other words, if the unit is undead and I rolled 1-12, then nothing happens. But what if the unit is not undead? The way I read the power, (b) is not affected by the die roll. Which I suspect is not what you want but I'm also pretty sure is what the card actually says.

Also there is a more canonic way of writing that last sentence, but you could also say that it's unnecessary, because a unit is not in clear sight of itself. So I will suggest this Coil of Death instead:

After moving and before attacking, choose a figure within 4 clear sight spaces of Arthas. Roll the 20-sided die. If you roll less than a 12 nothing happens. If you roll a 12 or higher and the figure is undead, remove 1 wound marker from the chosen figure's army card. If you roll a 12 or higher and the figure is not undead, add 1 wound marker to the chosen figure's card.

I think that solves it, and it's fewer words, according to my handy-dandy Chrome Word Count tool.

Death Pact
I totally dig this power. It is thematic and restrained. Rock on, Arthas!

I don't see any problems with it.

Animate Dead
I see a few issues here, only one of which is technically in the department of this thread. I would substitute a period for the comma after "die," and (of course) capitalize the following i in "if."

I think you're playing with design fire by having units take a turn before OMs are placed. What if they're Greenscales? Do you get a turn with a dragon, too? What if they're units that affect - or are affected by - OM placement? But that's not what this thread is about, so I'll leave that for your consideration.

As to the rest of the card, I'll take your word for it that the size is correct at "Large." Everything else looks solid.

Arthas (Jandar):

Spoiler Alert!

Holy Light
See my comments above, in Coil of Death. As you obviously saw, these powers should copy each other.

Divine Shield
I would add a comma: "Once per round, if Arthas is attacked."

Resurrection
Of all the songs completely forgotten in the rock and roll canon, my absolute favorite is this song about rebirth and redemption from guitar god Brian May:

Spoiler Alert!

I love that song so much. Chills every time, every single time. Every time I hear the word, I think of the song. Not bad for a guy with a PhD in astrophysics, is it?

Sadly, in 1992, nobody was much interested in rock and roll. Those were some dark days.

Where were we? Ah, yes. I would swap out the last sentence in exchange for "Resurrection may not be used on figures that are Undead." Otherwise it's fine.

I note his size is Medium/5 as opposed to Utgar Arthas' Large/6. I am sure you thought about this, so I won't pursue it.

I'll get to the rest of them later.

[William099]

Arthas as a death knight has a horse, whereas Arthas as a paladin is on foot, thus the difference in the sizes. Animate Dead is based off the Revenant's Tome glyph which specifically says that the animated figure's special powers are negated. Should I slip that in the power? If so how should I do it without cluttering up the sentence structure? That was why I left it out in the first place.

Revenant Tome Wording:

Spoiler Alert!

This figure may use this tome after revealing an order marker on its Army Card. Before taking that turn with this figure, Place one previously destroyed Unique figure from your Army onto any empty space(s) within 5 clear sight spaces of this figure. Immediately make a normal attack with the placed figure, then immediately destroy the placed figure. While the placed figure is on the board consider all of its special powers to be negated. The placed figure is considered to have a life of 1, and is not affected by any special powers on any Army Card or Glyph while on the board.

Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper

Right, this was the guy who led the attack on the plagued/not plagued village, right? Or maybe not. It was a long time ago that I knew what was going on in that world.

This is correct, that was the city of Stratholme and Arthas ordered it purged before Detheroc could turn them all into the Scourge. He was still a Paladin at that point, he hadn't yet been warped into a death knight.

[William099]

As far as customs bound for SOV here's the pair that I am working on. (Not that I haven't given you enough work.)

Spoiler Alert!

Indomitable
If Rampage begins his turn unengaged, add 2 to his Move value this turn. If he begins his turn engaged, add 2 to his Attack value this turn.

Destructive Rage
Each time Rampage destroys a figure with a normal attack he may reduce his attack value by 1 and attack again.

Warforged Resolve
When rolling defense dice against a normal or special attack, Rampage always adds one automatic shield to whatever is rolled.

Spoiler Alert!

Overextend Attack
After taking a turn with Marshal, you may place a wound marker on Marshal and take another turn with him. You may only use this power once per round.

Tactical Advance
Before taking a turn with Marshal you may move 3 Warforged you control up to 5 spaces. Figures moved with Tactical Advance must be in clear sight of Marshal before moving.

Warforged Resolve
When rolling defense dice against a normal or special attack, Rampage always adds one automatic shield to whatever is rolled.