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  #25  
Old May 17th, 2014, 11:14 AM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soundwarp SG-1 View Post
In particular, I'm wondering about her first power. She's metaphorically the emotional heart of the Burning Forge clan, but in this case it is also the name of the magic shield that allows her to absorb wounds. Would that be clearer if the power name had a 'the' at the beginning?
You're building off of one of the more troublesome powers C3V created, Varan's Purple Heart. That power should always have been "ignore those wounds and place an equal number of wounds on Varan." That's how we've decided Purple Heart actually works, since redirecting wounds has all sorts of problems (with Mortal Strike, for example). I recommend changing your wording here, though latching on to Varan's precedent is understandable.
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  #26  
Old May 17th, 2014, 11:34 PM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Thanks, Scy.

SW, before I weigh in, please let me know whether Scy's thoughts are sending you back to the drawing board.

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  #27  
Old May 18th, 2014, 12:03 AM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytale View Post
You're building off of one of the more troublesome powers C3V created, Varan's Purple Heart. That power should always have been "ignore those wounds and place an equal number of wounds on Varan." That's how we've decided Purple Heart actually works, since redirecting wounds has all sorts of problems (with Mortal Strike, for example). I recommend changing your wording here, though latching on to Varan's precedent is understandable.
Heh, I was actually the one that asked about that in his public book ages ago. I originally was going to word Ingrid's power differently, but I decided to stick to the closest precedent despite not like it in the first place (for some reason). I'll switch it to an 'ignore wounds' style wording.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper View Post
Thanks, Scy.

SW, before I weigh in, please let me know whether Scy's thoughts are sending you back to the drawing board.

I'm thinking of changing the bit after the comma to:

"you may place one wound marker on this Army Card to ignore one wound that figure just received."


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  #28  
Old May 18th, 2014, 08:55 PM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soundwarp SG-1 View Post
I'm thinking of changing the bit after the comma to:

"you may place one wound marker on this Army Card to ignore one wound that figure just received."
Ok.

Ingrid Ironwill:
Name looks good.

I'm not crazy about the power name "Heart of Burning Forge." It can be read in several different ways, and none of them stands out as great metaphors. It's fine, you can keep it if you want, but I was trying to come up with an alternative and I think you may like this one. There may never be another opportunity to use this power name so perfectly:
Spoiler Alert!


Thoughts?
As to the wording of the power, you now propose:
When a Dwarf you control who follows Aquilla and is adjacent to Ingrid Ironwill receives one or more wounds, you may place one wound marker on this Army Card to ignore one wound that figure just received.
It's not pretty, but it's functional and it's thematic. I think it's fine.

Is "Height" normally capitalized in Climb? I suppose it is. That's consistent with similar powers and Attack, Defense, and Move values.

Looks good. Another fine custom, SW.

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Last edited by Dad_Scaper; May 19th, 2014 at 02:03 PM.
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  #29  
Old May 19th, 2014, 01:49 PM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper View Post
I'm not crazy about the power name "Heart of Burning Forge." It can be read in several different ways, and none of them stand out as great metaphors. It's fine, you can keep it if you want, but I was trying to come up with an alternative and I think you may like this one. There may never be another opportunity to use this power name so perfectly:
Spoiler Alert!


Thoughts?
Hmm, yeah I do like that name better. Though I might go with 'Dwarven Shieldmaiden', just in case I ever make an actual Viking Shieldmaiden later on.

Quote:
Is "Height" normally capitalized in Climb? I suppose it is. That's consistent with similar powers and Attack, Defense, and Move values.
It's capitalized on the Axgrinders' and Migol's cards, but not the wolves' or spiders' cards. I just went with the Dwarves here because she's also Dwarf.

Quote:
Looks good. Another fine custom, SW.
Thanks!


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  #30  
Old May 19th, 2014, 02:02 PM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Yeah, the inconsistency with the capitalization of "height" is no surprise. Ideally it would not be capitalized, but I'm not surprised that it is, anyway.

Thanks for sharing!

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  #31  
Old May 23rd, 2014, 11:37 PM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Yes, I am available for private consultations. As some of you already know.

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  #32  
Old June 8th, 2014, 09:36 AM
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William099 William099 is offline
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Spoiler Alert!


Hope I'm not dumping to many on you at once, but I just got done redoing my Warcraft customs (these were the first customs I ever made) I think I was pretty thorough on wording, but didn't think it would hurt to have them looked over again.

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Master Set IV/Assault in the Mournlands.
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Last edited by William099; September 26th, 2014 at 11:34 AM.
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  #33  
Old June 8th, 2014, 08:38 PM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Thanks for sharing them, William099. I'm working on it.

Just noticed this thread is stickied. Cool!

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  #34  
Old June 8th, 2014, 09:00 PM
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Re: Help With Wurdz

I'm perfectly happy to go through them, William099. I had hoped to reach particularly those cards that are headed to the SoV and other customs projects, for the betterment of the site. As you can see, however, it's been quiet around here, and I'm glad to help all who stop by, anyway.

I have one request, which I'll put in the OP sooner or later, which is that I get a copy/paste of the text I'm proofreading. It saves my little fingers quite a bit of typing, and it also saves my windows browser from having extra tabs or windows open.

Warcraft customs? I'm looking forward to this detour down memory lane. Let's see what we have here:

Arthas (Utgar):
Spoiler Alert!


Arthas (Jandar):
Spoiler Alert!


I'll get to the rest of them later.

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  #35  
Old June 8th, 2014, 10:20 PM
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William099 William099 is offline
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Re: Help With Wurdz

Arthas as a death knight has a horse, whereas Arthas as a paladin is on foot, thus the difference in the sizes. Animate Dead is based off the Revenant's Tome glyph which specifically says that the animated figure's special powers are negated. Should I slip that in the power? If so how should I do it without cluttering up the sentence structure? That was why I left it out in the first place.

Revenant Tome Wording:
Spoiler Alert!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad_Scaper
Right, this was the guy who led the attack on the plagued/not plagued village, right? Or maybe not. It was a long time ago that I knew what was going on in that world.
This is correct, that was the city of Stratholme and Arthas ordered it purged before Detheroc could turn them all into the Scourge. He was still a Paladin at that point, he hadn't yet been warped into a death knight.

Customs here
Master Set IV/Assault in the Mournlands.
William099 is Lord of Blades...
in THE FRACTAL COMPLEX

Last edited by William099; June 8th, 2014 at 10:33 PM.
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  #36  
Old June 8th, 2014, 10:29 PM
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William099 William099 is offline
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Re: Help With Wurdz

As far as customs bound for SOV here's the pair that I am working on. (Not that I haven't given you enough work.)


Spoiler Alert!



Spoiler Alert!

Customs here
Master Set IV/Assault in the Mournlands.
William099 is Lord of Blades...
in THE FRACTAL COMPLEX

Last edited by William099; September 27th, 2014 at 02:44 AM.
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