News Headline Add-Ons

[mac122]

One more...
Google Street View captures naked guy in trunk Naked guy in front seat gets away clean.

[ABOMINATION]

Officers Close In on Ranger Shooting Suspect. Why the Ranger was shooting the suspect is not known yet.

Star Wars Becomes Reality: Darth Vader uses the Death Star to blow up Saturn.

Hollywood's Smallest Heads Contain the Tiniest Brains.

[mac122]

Obama Depiction as Deity Upsets Some Others: You mean he's not?
TSA Chief: Screenings to Be 'Minimally Invasive' Isn't that how they describe many surgeries?
NYT: With Kinect gaming device, hackers take liberties Kinect: Hey, cut it out, I'm not that kind of peripheral!

[davidlhsl]

Don't hide cranberry sauce in your carry-on. Hide it in your pants to give the TSA a festive surprise when they frisk you.
Big drug arrest on Caribbean cruise ship. Man, I'm going to have to take a cruise.
In Europe debt crisis, some call default a better option than searching for loose change behind the sofa.
In Italy, caves transform into hotels. I didn't know Batman was Italian.
Computer tablets -- Which tablet is for you? The one with maximum-strength ibuprofen.
Before you buy that train set, do your homework, young man; or you won't get any supper!
Social media making us anti-social? How the heck should I know? Leave me alone!
Barbara Bush hopes Palin stays in Alaska long enough to get the Pick-Me-Up Bouquet Bush just sent her.
Opinion: Is marriage becoming obsolete? My ex-wife thinks so.
Steve Jobs action figure unveiled. The Bill Gates action figure kept crashing.
Digital 'newspaper' coming for iPad. Isn't that a tad expensive to put at the bottom of my bird cage?
How to avoid holiday family fights: Pictionary!
New White House budget chief confirmed, then fired during the latest round of budget cuts.

[mac122]

LOL!
You ninja'd me on the Cranberry Sauce headline!

Newly found demo tapes reveal original line from Jim Croce's classic:
You don't tug on Supermans cape
You don't spit into the wind
You Don't Hide Cranberry Sauce in Your Carry-On
And you don't mess around with Jim.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

Yes, I am that old.

[mac122]

Man punches window, retrieves snatched purse. Window apologizes, blames bad economy for life of crime.
Funnel cloud weaves a path of disaster. Funnel cloud: I started with baskets then one thing led to another...
Nicole Richie ready to tie the knot. Tomorrow, the other shoe.

This just in:
Lawmakers Urge TSA Probe. They will have the opportunity to have the probe in a separate room with another government agency there as a witness.
Cheap Thanksgiving: Serve Roadkill Instead. Wait, you mean everyone doesn't do this?

[mac122]

Jennifer Grey Named `Dancing' Champ. Yay! I'm so happy...it's over! Can we please stop hearing about this now? Hmmm? Please? Maybe?
Tests on Toys Find Few Problems This Season. Watchdog groups scrambling to find new things to scare parents in time for Christmas.

[davidlhsl]

Obama wants pay freeze. I don't think he understands that cold cash is just an expression.
U.S. denounces leak of secret papers in a classified memo recently published on WikiLeaks.
Intriguing: Montell Jordan to preach. More Intriguing: Montell Jordan to also become a contestant on Survivor.
Ex-boyfriend charged with murder. Yeah, if you kill someone, that tends to break off the relationship.
Janet Jackson on her body. Please! I'm trying to eat!
Bugs chew through sacred art. Pity, because Dogs Playing Poker was my favorite masterpiece.
Ever seen a partridge in a pear tree? No, but I have seen eight maids a-milkin' on Cinemax.
Pair's first home holds surprise: meth. The realtor promised cocaine!

[mac122]

House Votes to Fund Government for Two Weeks. By my count that's about 13 1/2 days too long.
Super-Earth's atmosphere analyzed for first time. Clark Kent-Earth's atmosphere up next.
Man hopes digital love letter reaches girlfriend virally. 'Cause nothing says, "I love you" like an internet video. That, and he's too cheap to buy a stamp.

[IAmBatman]

Man hopes digital love letter reaches girlfriend virally. It's his way of apologizing for the other thing he passed to her virally.

[mac122]

Small plane crash-lands on S. Calif. golf course enraging local golfers. "The sign clearly says, 'All small aircraft must stay on the cart path!'"

Hero Dog Saves Family but still must eat out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.

South Korea to Set Internet Curfew. Any Internet caught out past 11 will be arrested and sent to Juvenile Hall.

Line Drawn in Sand. Beach-goers held for questioning. Police hurry to collect evidence before tide comes in.

Organ Wagons To Make House Calls.
"Yes, we're here to collect 2 kidneys from Mr. John Smith."
"I'm John Smith, but I'm not dead."
"Well, you are on the list. Please hold still."
WHIRRRRRRRR!

[davidlhsl]

Originally Posted by mac122

Line Drawn in Sand. Beach-goers held for questioning. Police hurry to collect evidence before tide comes in.

Methinks you just topped the Nicole Richie headline.