NOT Code 4114

[TGRF]

Code 4114 is well on the way. I am moving steadily through the outline and expect to begin writing soon. You can keep track of my progress by watching my sig.

I should warn you now: while Code 4114 is definitely a retelling of LBV, certain key things are vastly different. I think all changes I've made are for the best and will only add to the end product, but I wanted to let you know: don't come into it expecting Valhalla Reborn. You'll see why the instant you start reading. I can guarantee it.

However, while you're waiting, I figured I'd post a little something I wrote back in September of 2014. It's my first attempt at Code 4114: something I decided to write which really had no development or end. Or beginning for that matter. I believe my thinking at the time was that it would fit somewhere in the middle, right after Dan got summoned.

Needless to say, you will see nothing remotely like this in the actual Code 4114. Again, you will know why the instant you start reading. I thought I'd share it with you though, as otherwise it would probably never see the light of day, and I rather liked the way it turned out. Remember, there is no true ending.

Spoiler Alert!

The man stumbled as he walked. Tears fell thick and fast, blinding him. They splashed onto the hard metal floors as he half ran, half walked down the hall, barely avoiding the walls that he couldn’t see through his blurred vision.
“No… please…”
The man found a door and wrenched it open, rushing inside quickly. He slammed it behind him and leaned against it, sobbing quietly into the darkness.
The room he had entered was large. Its ceiling stretched far above the man, and its walls were so far back that it resembled more of a warehouse than a room. The formidable silhouettes of dark machines and contraptions loomed forward in the dark, their lifeless surfaces gleaming in the half-light that seemed to come from nowhere.
“Please… don’t do this…”
The man sank to his knees, lifting his tear-stained face upwards, towards the dark ceiling far above. “If there is a God up there, watching over me, please, I beg you, don’t do this. Don’t take my Elise from me. Don’t take my daughter. Let her live. If there is some way that I can prevent her death, show me. Show me the way.”
The man bowed his head. Tears continued to fall slowly to the floor.
After a minute, the man let out a shaky sigh. “Computer,” he whispered into the blackness. “Does my daughter still live?”
“Affirmative,” came the instant reply.
“How – How long?” the man choked out.
“At her present rate of deterioration, she has approximately twenty-three minutes to live.”
The man bowed his head again. Try as he might, no ray of inspiration struck him, no gleam of sudden understanding. His daughter was dying, and he was powerless to stop it.
“I’m sorry,” said the mechanical voice.
The man slowly raised his head. “What?” he asked.
“I’m sorry,” the computer repeated.
The man stared at where he knew the source of the voice lay, though it was impossible to see in the blackness. “You’ve never said that before,” he said slowly.
“I never had occasion to,” replied the computer.
As if electrocuted, the man leapt to his feet. “Computer,” he commanded, “deactivate unit 5129195. And turn on the lights.”
He sped from the room even as the lights flared into existence. He didn’t bother to close the door, but ran down the hall, disregarding the surprised looks he met on the way. He had so little time. So little time to save his daughter.
For he would save her. If her body could not keep her alive, he would give her something that could. Something better. A different body, one not prone to the weaknesses of the flesh, not susceptible to disease, pain, or suffering. He would give her a new body, and she would be stronger than ever, stronger than any of them. She would be perfected.


Faint memories. Blurs of color. Rushes of noise. Sudden sensations. A voice talking to me, as if from a distant memory.
“They don’t hesitate, they don’t second-guess. Kill them if you ever have the chance.”
A shot. A vice-like grip. Hitting… something. The ground? Then blackness. Pain. Noise. And… water?
Dan’s eyes flew open. They took in every inch of the dark ceiling, the smoothness of the stone, the uniform shape of the bricks, the way one brick was lighter than the rest, as if it had been carved from different stone.
Smells assaulted him. A faint trace of fresh bread lingered in the air, something he hadn’t smelled since the day he was born thirty years ago. Something foreign, like the aftertaste of a strong spice, met him. He couldn’t place it. The air felt damp, humid, but oddly warm, like it does after a heavy rain. It smelled clean and comforting.
Dan felt soft blankets covering him, as well as beneath his rough hands. A silkily soft pillow was beneath his head, its comforting folds enticing him even now to return to its sleepy embrace.
Dan closed his eyes, allowing himself a moment to calm down. I’m safe. I’m alive. The soulborgs didn’t kill me. I’m still here. Relax. Breathe deep. They won’t let you rest forever.
A voice suddenly broke the silence. A whisper. It was too low to make out.
Dan turned his head to see where it had come from, and a dark room swam foggily into view. Stone walls, curtains, several more beds. A table dominated the center of the room, holding glass vials with oddly colored liquids inside. Strange smells seemed to waft from them. There were no lights in the room.
At the far side of the room was a doorway, leading into a hall. There was no door, and soft yellow light flooded into the room, illuminating Dan where he lay. The voices seemed to be coming from the hall. Dan could make them out now, but they were speaking words which made no sense.
“Vydar elirs isit rathis tir aferaki, non merin el asek ciren azak'ceferi!” The man’s voice sounded exasperated.
The soft voice of a woman answered him, still whispering, as if she were trying to keep her voice down. “Asith, Antilek. Ilm leef feln ner.”
Dan’s mind registered two things: these were not the voices of soulborgs, and it was no language known to Mariedians such as himself. He was not where he belonged. He slipped silently from the bed.
To Dan’s surprise, he was not wearing the armor he had faced the major in. He was instead clothed in a simple two-piece cloth tunic, not unlike the pajamas one got in the hospital. If one was ever unfortunate enough to go there.
His weapons, too, were gone. No gloves covered his hands, and he felt strangely defenseless without the usual supply of metal scraps that normally surrounded him.
He slipped into the shadows and listened to the voices outside the doorway. They had grown quieter. He still couldn’t make out a word they said. The language they spoke sounded strange, like it was made from five different languages that should not be mixed.
Dan crouched down behind the table, trying to find a better hiding place in the room. He had to get out of here. Whatever strange torture the soulborgs had in store for him, he wouldn’t let them carry it out if he could help it. Most unfortunately, he brushed the table as he knelt, and one of the glass vials upon it wobbled, the liquid within frothing and bubbling loudly as it moved.
The voices abruptly stopped. Dan heard the man’s voice, followed by the slithering sound of metal against metal. The woman spoke, her voice calm. And then a figure entered the doorway. Dan peeked above the table and felt his jaw drop.
The figure came closer, and as it blocked out the light, Dan saw that it was smiling at him. A kind, reassuring smile. “Ela,” the figure said quietly, and Dan recognized the voice as that of the woman.
“Who – What are you?” he asked, fearfully backing towards the bed as the figure drew closer. The creature stopped, and another figure appeared in the doorway. They conversed quickly for a moment, and then the figure closest to Dan turned back towards him.
“Hello,” she said, stumbling over the word. “Do not be afraid. We are friends.” She spoke with a strange accent, the words somehow reminding Dan of spices, mingled with the cool freshness of clean water.
It was understandable that Dan should doubt her. The figure had the appearance of a woman, right down to her hair, which was a soft golden and flowed gently over her shoulders. It was the wings Dan wasn’t too sure of.
Two gloriously white feathered wings, stretching nearly to the ceiling, swept up from the woman’s back, and then curved back down, stopping just above her tall boots. The wings were so white they seemed to gleam slightly in the darkness. Aside from them, however, the woman looked completely normal, if perhaps slightly taller and thinner.
She spoke again, still in that strange accent. “We are kyrie, azak’sefer.”
Dan looked blankly at her.
“Do you have a name?” she asked gently.
“Dan,” Dan said automatically, still eyeing her warily.
The woman took a step forward, and placed both of her hands on his shoulders. Dan remained tense, but did not back away.
“All will be explained in time, Dan,” she said. “For now, know that you are safe. You need to rest and regain your strength, however. Sleep now, and when you wake, we will tell you all.” She gently pushed him back down on the bed, and then turned to leave. She was nearly out of the room before Dan called after her.
“Where am I?” he asked.
She smiled. “You are in Valhalla, Dan; the Land of a Million Worlds.”
The Land of a Million Worlds, thought Dan. Well that sure explains a lot. I know even less than I did when I woke up. He did as the kyrie said, however, and lay back down, his mind racing. He wasn’t slightly tired, but somehow he began to fall asleep almost instantly. His last conscious thought was, At least this place is better than Isadora. In some ways.

“Up. You’ve slept long enough, soldier.”
Dan was awake in an instant. He jerked out of bed so fast that his eyes didn’t have time to adjust to the light properly, with the result that he merely saw a brown blur before falling back onto the pillow.
A deep, slow laugh echoed from above him. “You wake faster than my best men,” it commented.
Simply by the tone of the voice, Dan could tell it was human. At least it was not kyrie. “I’ve had practice,” he said shortly, sitting back up and squinting at the brown blur in front of him.
A large man came slowly into focus. His skin was dark, but his eyes were hidden behind a pair of silver sunglasses, which glinted in the half light. He was bald save for a long pony tail which grew well past his shoulders and down his back. His teeth gleamed as he smiled at Dan.
“Carr,” he said, holding out a large hand. “I’d tell you my first name, but it’s not my practice.”
Dan took the hand, feeling its power. He instantly knew that this man could do more with one hand than most men could with two.
“The kyrie already told me your name, Dan,” Carr said, “So we’ll put an end to the introductions. I don’t like introductions. They’re too good of a cover up.”
“A cover up for what?” asked Dan, puzzled.
Carr waved a hand dismissively. “A lot of things: sinister plots, assassination attempts, the whole nine yards. Not that I’m expecting anything,” he added, smiling. “At least not from you. But enough of the cryptic comments. I’m here to tell you where you are – exactly where you are.”
He glanced at Dan, as if waiting for a reply.
“I’m not on Isadora,” Dan said slowly.
“You catch on quick,” said Carr.
Dan shrugged. “It’s easier when there are supposed to be soulborgs every five feet.”
Carr laughed, clapping Dan on the back. “Well, you’re right. You’re not on Isadora. You’re in a different land, a different time.”
Dan opened his mouth to speak, but Carr hurried on, as if he wanted to get it all out of the way. “You’re on Valhalla, Dan. You’ve been summoned here by a Valkyrie, a powerful being. He saved you just before you were about to die. For saving your life, he’s going to want something in return.”
“What?” asked Dan apprehensively.
“Your loyalty,” said Carr, his voice conveying nothing. He watched Dan intently.
Loyalty? Dan smelled a trap. This being, this Valkyrie, must have had a good reason to reach through time and space and stop him from dying. Was his reason so terrible that he wanted to be assured of Dan’s loyalty before revealing it to him?
“Why my loyalty?” asked Dan warily.
Carr grinned. “Simple, isn’t it? He doesn’t want to be stabbed in the back. That’s generally what loyalty means.” He chuckled to himself. “Let’s just say that there’s something of a war going on right now, Dan, and that Vydar – that’s the Valkyrie that summoned you – is a bit short on men.”
“He wants me to serve in his army?” asked Dan.
“Not exactly,” said Carr. “You and I, we’re too valuable to put in ranks and march to the front lines. We’re the ones that will be leading the armies. We’re the ones that will be carrying out the undercover operations.”
Dan nodded, and then looked Carr in the eye. This is difficult to do when the subject is wearing silver sunglasses. “And why should I give my loyalty to Vydar?”
Carr grinned. “Well, you see, Vydar has one up on us. He’ll give us another chance at life once the war’s over. He’ll send us back, just after we would have died. You have to admit, he’s doing us a favor.”
“How can we trust him?” asked Dan.
“You can’t,” said Carr bluntly. “But he’s promised everyone he’s ever summoned the same thing. That amounts to some five thousand soldiers. He can’t deny us all.”
He can if we’re dead, thought Dan grimly. He didn’t like the sound of this Vydar, despite what Carr said. He sounded too much like the soulborgs, trying to make sure he had control of everything, and everyone.
“You don’t have much of a choice, Dan,” Carr said. “Vydar’s not going to help you unless you help him first.”
“I don’t like it,” said Dan. Carr watched him. “But I’ll do it.”
Carr stood up. “That makes you and me brothers in arms, then. Follow me and I’ll show you the ‘arms’ part of the deal.”
Dan stood up, noticing for the first time how cold the floor was, though the air remained warm. Vydar can make all the promises he wants, he thought as he followed Carr out of the room and into the brightly lit hallway. But I’ll never let him control me. Control leads to power, and power leads to others getting hurt. If an opportunity comes to get back to Isadora, I’ll take it, whether or not it comes from Vydar.

~TGRF.

[TGRF]

There's something about the dialogue in this... it just seems more natural to me than most other dialogue I write. I'm glad I didn't lose track of this particular bit of writing.

~TGRF.

[William099]

Just read this. Super well done! It was quite engaging and left me wanting more! Definitely can not wait for Code 4114 now!

[TGRF]

Originally Posted by William099

Just read this. Super well done! It was quite engaging and left me wanting more! Definitely can not wait for Code 4114 now!

The official stance on 4114 is that it has been dropped. It was a case of new techniques trying to fit into old parameters for writing, and it wasn't working especially well.

The unofficial stance is that I might finish it anyway. I'm part way through the writing, and despite it's developmental problems, I actually like the way it's turning out. It has a feel to it that I really like, so I could finish it up. I can't promise anything, but it's definitely a possibility.

~TGRF.

[TheAverageFan]

Since it is technically dropped, would you mind sharing why exactly it didn't work out? I agree that the little bit you posted in the OP is excellently written.

~TAF, curious

[TGRF]

Originally Posted by TheAverageFan

Since it is technically dropped, would you mind sharing why exactly it didn't work out? I agree that the little bit you posted in the OP is excellently written.

~TAF, curious

I can't remember the exact specifics. 4114 is a rewrite of The Quest for Valhalla, and the Quest is the second thing I ever wrote. That means that the general plot for 4114 was defined long before I knew how to create a plot, or how to develop characters, or how to write a theme. Even the recent development I did didn't develop the plot correctly, so I would have to go back and fix that.

It is notoriously difficult to develop a novel within an existing framework (at least the way I do it). You have to have free reign over everything, otherwise it's like trying to fit a ball in a square hole (or however that saying goes). I had to go back and remove a lot of stuff, changing a lot of key things along the way. The bit of the plot that I kept doesn't really have anything to do with what the story turned into. In it's present form, the story technically works. It's just that it could work a lot better if I simply threw out everything related to the Quest and started over from scratch.

BUT, that's not something I'm going to do. All the parts are there, and the writing actually turned out pretty well. And things always look different before and after the fiction is actually written, so it could work just fine.

Right now I would say there is a fairly good chance that I will finish up 4114. Especially if I don't get a brainwave for any other fan fiction soon.

~TGRF.

[TGRF]

4114 is underway. Again.

I looked back over what I had, and realized that there is actually a lot of room for subplots in it. Because of that, I'm going to go back, rework the structure, characters, and plot, and add in proper subplots this time.

Currently, I still intend to write a final fan fiction after that which will wrap up all of the things I want to try.

Meanwhile, the fan fiction I just finished is in the final stages of editing. Right now I'm trying to work out a few issues before I post it. Shouldn't take too long.

~TGRF.

[TheAverageFan]

Okay cool. So once again you ask your fellow Heroscapers what they want you to write so you can disregard it all and work on 4114 again.

~TAF

[TGRF]

Originally Posted by TheAverageFan

Okay cool. So once again you ask your fellow Heroscapers what they want you to write so you can disregard it all and work on 4114 again.

~TAF

The thought had crossed my mind, yes. But at least it's still planned, and not thrown out completely like last time.

The good news is that it shouldn't take too long, given that the hard part of the development is already done.

~TGRF.

UPDATE: Structure in place. Starting on characters...
UPDATE: Defining new structure... section 2.3/4. Still working on characters...
UPDATE: New structure - 2.3/5 complete. 4114 - Developing inner conflict...

[TGRF]

Things weren't quite coming together, so now I've reworked the story some more and I feel like I'm now on the right track. Fourth's time the charm.

Developmnet: ~20% complete; structure in place.
UPDATE: 4114 and all writing endeavors, including novels, have come to a temporary halt. I have discovered something which flies in the face of what I thought I knew about a very central part of writing. Work will resume once the structure has been reestablished.