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  #49  
Old September 28th, 2019, 07:44 PM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Keeping up, although I continue to bounce back and forth between my hedged bets on where the story's going. Right now I think the Dark Elves are clearly not evil at this point, but I still think Eltuthar is gonna turn out to be bad. The council--however antagonistic towards our hero--doesn't have enough named characters to house a main villain right now. If age = power in this universe, Eltuthar's gonna be pretty darned strong if he gets his limiter removed. And then he'll turn out to be an a-hole or something.

Also there's a weird typo in Ch. 19:
Quote:
In just four days, he had begun drawing all attention back to himself2036, until he had nearly killed Aldir.
Perhaps it's a skim-check to see if the reader's really reading

~TAF

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  #50  
Old September 28th, 2019, 09:00 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
Keeping up, although I continue to bounce back and forth between my hedged bets on where the story's going. Right now I think the Dark Elves are clearly not evil at this point, but I still think Eltuthar is gonna turn out to be bad. The council--however antagonistic towards our hero--doesn't have enough named characters to house a main villain right now. If age = power in this universe, Eltuthar's gonna be pretty darned strong if he gets his limiter removed. And then he'll turn out to be an a-hole or something.

Also there's a weird typo in Ch. 19:
Quote:
In just four days, he had begun drawing all attention back to himself2036, until he had nearly killed Aldir.
Perhaps it's a skim-check to see if the reader's really reading

~TAF
Pretty strange. It was in the Word document too. Fixed now, thanks.



As for the rest of it:



~TGRF.

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  #51  
Old September 29th, 2019, 04:47 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Chapter Twenty-Four - Assault on the Mountain is now live! I'll leave you to fill in an appropriate one-liner.



~TGRF.

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  #52  
Old September 30th, 2019, 10:09 PM
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Chapter Twenty-Five - Through Flame and Spell is now live!



~TGRF.

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  #53  
Old October 1st, 2019, 04:16 PM
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Chapter Twenty-Six - The Teachings of Eltuthar is now live! The climax will arrive tomorrow!



~TGRF.

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  #54  
Old October 1st, 2019, 06:10 PM
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William099 William099 is offline
the above
 
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

I don't remember from my first reading what you ended up doing with Eltuthar but I always felt he was pretty sympathetic.

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  #55  
Old October 2nd, 2019, 03:43 PM
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Chapter Thirty-Seven - Plots in Eld'rin is now live! The tale of Dilmir and Eltuthar comes a close. Following are two short chapters, wrapping things up. Through a Tangle of Roots and the Epilogue conclude Dilmir's adventures.



Be sure to let me know your thoughts on the story as a whole!



~TGRF.

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  #56  
Old October 2nd, 2019, 04:30 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

For a long time, the tale of Dilmir looked a lot different than the version I've presented. Dilmir was a character from LBV, the fan fiction directly following the Quest for Valhalla. There, Dilmir was introduced as just another character who joined Dan on his quest to ultimately defeat Utgar. The introduction for Dilmir, which, following the pattern of LBV, took place on his home world of Feylund, caught my interest though. Hence this fan fiction.

Because of Dilmir's origins, the tale originally included a trip to Valhalla. I did try to write it several times, but eventually had to concede that Valhalla really had nothing to do with the tale. As far as I can tell from my ancient records though, this was the general sequence of events on Valhalla (spoilers for LBV):
Spoiler Alert!


The rest of the story followed the same general lines as this version, except for the end. For a long time, from the very beginning, I had a really strange ending in my head. Only when I got close to writing it, did I begin to realize that it didn't make any sense compared to the rest of the story. However, I'll relate it here. Mainly because TAF called it. So if you hate it, blame him. (Spoilers for this tale)
Spoiler Alert!


So that was the how the original tale of Dilmir went, which I have never before shared. Do you think the changes I made were good ones? Why or why not? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

~TGRF.

P.S. Also, concerning Astia, for a very long time, I had in my head a scene for a fan fiction, or maybe just a contest entry. (spoilers for LBV)
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  #57  
Old October 2nd, 2019, 07:35 PM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
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Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The rest of the story followed the same general lines as this version, except for the end. For a long time, from the very beginning, I had a really strange ending in my head. Only when I got close to writing it, did I begin to realize that it didn't make any sense compared to the rest of the story. However, I'll relate it here. Mainly because TAF called it. So if you hate it, blame him.
Hey; don't blame me! I do prefer the changes we got, although it's interesting to think how easily the story could've gone with Alfimir being good and Eltuthar being evil as opposed to vise versa.

Anyhow, another few chapters read and I'm all caught up, although there seems to be 10+ chapters missing between Chapter 26 and Chapter 37. Oh well. Here are my thoughts:

Spoiler Alert!


~TAF

TheAverageFan is Emirroon...
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  #58  
Old October 2nd, 2019, 09:00 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Dilmir: A Tale of Feylund

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The rest of the story followed the same general lines as this version, except for the end. For a long time, from the very beginning, I had a really strange ending in my head. Only when I got close to writing it, did I begin to realize that it didn't make any sense compared to the rest of the story. However, I'll relate it here. Mainly because TAF called it. So if you hate it, blame him.
Hey; don't blame me! I do prefer the changes we got, although it's interesting to think how easily the story could've gone with Alfimir being good and Eltuthar being evil as opposed to vise versa.

Anyhow, another few chapters read and I'm all caught up, although there seems to be 10+ chapters missing between Chapter 26 and Chapter 37. Oh well. Here are my thoughts:

Spoiler Alert!


~TAF
Spoiler Alert!


~TGRF.

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