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  #1  
Old July 12th, 2009, 11:16 PM
Wytefang Wytefang is offline
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Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd child

Hey fellow HS friends,

For those of you who don't know, my wife Tracy is due to have our 2nd child on Sept. 15th. I'm a bit apprehensive at the thought of having both a 19-month old son (Logan) and my new baby to take care of at the same time.

If anyone has any tips on managing both children and staying sane, I'd appreciate it.

Our second child is going to be a boy! We found out this time instead of letting it be a surprise. We have his name picked out already, "Noah Dresden DuLac." (I had to lobby pretty hard for Dresden as a middle name but, yay!...my wife agreed finally.)

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Old July 12th, 2009, 11:21 PM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

Congrats Tony...The best piece of advice I can give you is to keep Logan involved and make as much "special time" for him as you 2 can. Sibling jealousy will drive you more crazy then anything else especailly since he was the KING of the house up until now.
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Old July 12th, 2009, 11:35 PM
Wytefang Wytefang is offline
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

Thanks, Onacara, yeah, I'm worried about that - I want them to get along really well (though it's hard to force that kind of thing, LOL).
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Old July 12th, 2009, 11:41 PM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

As a father of two I'll give you my congrats as well. But know this, as much as you try, and no matter how hard you try, they'll both get along famously and they'll both fight. And there's nothing you can do about it either, it's the natural order of things. Except it as part of your life now, enjoy the good times, and don't make yourself crazy over the bad.

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Old July 12th, 2009, 11:45 PM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grishnakh View Post
As a father of two I'll give you my congrats as well. But know this, as much as you try, and no matter how hard you try, they'll both get along famously and they'll both fight. And there's nothing you can do about it either, it's the natural order of things. Except it as part of your life now, enjoy the good times, and don't make yourself crazy over the bad.
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Old July 13th, 2009, 01:56 AM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

The most important thing I can remember from the birth of my second, was how exhausting it was for my wife. The usual advice for mothers of newborns we had heard at the time, was "sleep when the baby sleeps" This works well for one, but when two are involved it's a completely different story! If you can, I would book holidays, or or take parental leave for a time so that you can help out with the new one, and let your wife get the rest she needs. If that is not possible, double your efforts around the house when you are home so that she can take a break.

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Old July 13th, 2009, 08:34 AM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

Stay sane? Ha!

My 3rd just turned 10 months old, so maybe my perspective is scewed a little.

Don't sweat it, you'll do the best you can, and it will be more than enough.

Kids rule!

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Old July 13th, 2009, 08:52 AM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

To help get the sibling relationship started on the right foot, when you come home from the hospital, bring a gift for Logan and tell him it's from Noah.

Also, when relatives/friends come by to see Noah, make sure Logan is just as fawned over as his brother. For the first time in his life, Logan is not going to be the centre of attention in your household, and it's going to be difficult for him.

I also second the importance of making sure that Mommy isn't overwhelmed. Make sure that you're doing as much as you can to help out.

Lastly, enjoy every minute of it. Your kids will only be these ages once, and while raising them may sometimes seem like a burden, you'll soon be missing these times.
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Old July 13th, 2009, 09:27 AM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

Congratulations!

As a father or two, I just have two things to add to the great advice above:
1. "No means no." This goes for one kid or many. This was the first, and best, advice we received.
2. As they get older, never play one kid off the other. Don't say, "Why aren't you neat like your brother", or "Your sister shares much better than you." They will each be their own person no matter how similarly you raise them. Accept and celebrate their uniqueness.

Oh, and make sure your wife gets a chance to get out and do things on her own once in a while. Mom's sanity will go a long way towards household harmony.

Best of luck.

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Old July 13th, 2009, 09:28 AM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

My son was only 18 months old when my duaghter was born so I totally understand your apprehensions.

The key, as stated above already, is time; time spent with Logan and time spent with your wife.

After Liam (my son) was born I had to readjust how I used my time. After my daughter (Elhanna), was born, I realized my first readjustment was pretty minor.

Carra, my wife, needed me even more and so did my son. I realized I needed to do more than just spend time with Liam to relieve her. I needed to get her out of the house without the kids sometimes, even if it was just a trip to Wal-mart by herself. It really showed me how self-centered I could be sometimes when it came to "my" spare time.

Also, on Saturdays, if I need to run an errand, I take Liam with me if possible. He knows the aisles of the hardware store and Lowe's almost as well I do. Not only does it relieve my wife for a while but it also gives me quality time with my son.

Take heart with this fact as well: my daughter will be 1 this coming Sunday. Because my son was only 18 months when she was born, he doesn't really remember a time without his sister- he doesn't realize he was ever an only-child. We have rarely had to deal with any jealouy issues because of this so there is a blessing in having those first two so close. Now, Lord willing, our following children will be farther apart.

I know most of what I said was already stated but I just wanted to say I understand and congratulations on your new blessing!
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Old July 13th, 2009, 02:05 PM
Wytefang Wytefang is offline
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

Thanks - there is some GREAT, GREAT wisdom here. I genuinely appreciate this very good advice.

I do agree with Lamaclown that it's likely that Logan - being so young - will probably never get that jealousy from not being the center of attention. So that's one relief at least.

I just hope we can adjust to the even greater time requirements from both children.

I'm still without a job (since being laid-off from FFG last fall) so at least I'll probably be around to help - though that does little to ease my worries over a lack of job!
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Old July 13th, 2009, 06:49 PM
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Re: Looking for tips and advice on impending birth of 2nd ch

Congratulations!

As a father of four ages 19, 17, 15, and 13 my main advice is to enjoy them and spend time with them as they grow up. They do grow up fast. 18 years from now you will look at your kids and wonder how time passed so fast.

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