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  #49  
Old July 4th, 2013, 08:11 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread


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  #50  
Old July 4th, 2013, 08:21 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the Day

There was a married couple sleeping and an intruder entered into their house.

The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and said, "I like to know the names of my victims before I kill them, what is your name?"

"My name is Elizabeth," the woman replied.

The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother who was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill you."

The intruder then turned to the husband and asked, "What is your name?"

"My name's Phillip, but my friends call me Elizabeth."

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  #51  
Old July 4th, 2013, 08:24 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread

One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off.

Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.

Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them.

I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands.

Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.

It's the smoke detector, they replied in unison.

"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.

Sure, my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready".

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  #52  
Old July 4th, 2013, 12:51 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rexmax2 View Post

It's the smoke detector, they replied in unison.

"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.

Sure, my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready".
Around here we call it Breakfast.

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  #53  
Old July 5th, 2013, 09:13 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the Day

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

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A Star Wars joke

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

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  #54  
Old July 5th, 2013, 11:38 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread


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  #55  
Old July 5th, 2013, 08:43 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Since we're on Star Wars jokes:

What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

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  #56  
Old July 6th, 2013, 08:11 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the Day

What washes up on tiny beaches?

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What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?


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A man walks into a restaurant and sits down at the bar. He orders a bowl of chili, but the waiter tells him the man next to him got the last bowl. He looks over and sees that the other guy has a full bowl of chili and is just staring at it. He says, "If you're not going to eat that, can I have it?" The other guy tells him to go ahead, so he takes the chili and starts eating it. About halfway finished with it, his fork hits something hard in the chili. He sees it's a dead rat and throws up in the bowl. The guy next to him says, "That's as far as I got too."

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  #57  
Old July 6th, 2013, 09:04 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread


Your custom probably has too much Defense.
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  #58  
Old July 7th, 2013, 08:37 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the Day

What do you do with a sick boat?

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  #59  
Old July 8th, 2013, 08:31 AM
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Rexmax2 Rexmax2 is offline
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Re: The Joke Thread

Joke of the Day

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.

He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.

The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.




What did one hat say to the other?

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  #60  
Old July 8th, 2013, 08:55 AM
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Rexmax2 Rexmax2 is offline
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Re: The Joke Thread A new Joke Every Day!

How do you keep someone in suspense?

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