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  #1021  
Old March 28th, 2018, 12:57 PM
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SirGalahad SirGalahad is offline
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Re: The Joke Thread

Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim."

That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.


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  #1022  
Old March 28th, 2018, 10:12 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by SirGalahad View Post
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim."

That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

Heyyyyy...


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  #1023  
Old March 28th, 2018, 10:48 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Thought you'd enjoy that one.

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  #1024  
Old April 1st, 2018, 12:46 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Have you heard about the newest techno-band? They call themselves 1023 Megabytes.

They're pretty good--they just don't have a gig yet.



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  #1025  
Old April 3rd, 2018, 06:40 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

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  #1026  
Old April 4th, 2018, 04:03 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

I went to a zoo the other day, but there was only one dog in it.

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Last edited by SirGalahad; April 4th, 2018 at 04:30 PM. Reason: Fixed your spoiler tag. Fixed the spelling.
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  #1027  
Old April 5th, 2018, 08:39 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

A woman is standing naked in front of her bedroom mirror.

"I'm old, saggy, and wrinkled," she sighs.

Then she turns to her husband who is sitting in bed reading. "I could really do with you saying something nice, you know."

He looks up.

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  #1028  
Old April 11th, 2018, 08:23 PM
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Re: The Joke Thread

Murphy's Law says that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

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  #1029  
Old April 12th, 2018, 01:30 AM
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Re: The Joke Thread

I thought this video was a good laugh.


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  #1030  
Old April 12th, 2018, 11:26 PM
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SirGalahad SirGalahad is offline
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Re: The Joke Thread

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, "I'll direct."

DiCaprio says, "I'll act."

McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."


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  #1031  
Old April 26th, 2018, 09:12 PM
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SirGalahad SirGalahad is offline
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Re: The Joke Thread

Mr. and Mrs. Jones had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business and the other was named Trouble.

One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes.

Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Playing a game,” the boy replied.

“What is your name?” the officer questioned. “Mind Your Own Business.”

Furious, the policeman inquired, “Are you looking for trouble?!”

The boy replied, “Why, yes.”


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Last edited by SirGalahad; April 30th, 2018 at 01:28 PM.
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  #1032  
Old April 30th, 2018, 01:31 PM
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SirGalahad SirGalahad is offline
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Re: The Joke Thread

Today, a 2-for-1 Happy Monday deal !!!



What happened to the man running in front of the car?

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What happened to the man running behind the car?

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