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  #49  
Old November 30th, 2008, 02:18 PM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 10

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Great! Its really cool how you brought in a new faction for the world of Valhalla. Out of curiosisty, who did you name the Spartans after. 300 or Halo.
The Halo. I really enjoyed that game, and the soldiers in here are just like in Halo; they have super-weapons and armor. Thanks for reading, I thought I was down to one loyal reader.
Um, Abomination? Have you looked at the number of people who have read your fan fic? Trust me, it would be impossible to go down to one loyal reader, honestly.
Hey, I didn't notice all those people! Of course, PK has way more. The last Fan fic I did wasn't the greatest, so I hope I've gotten a bit better since then.
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  #50  
Old December 2nd, 2008, 09:09 PM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 10

Next part up. Comments are appreciated, and thanks to all my readers!


Sonlen peered through the bars, then asked, “Sarge, do you think you could use you’re grapple gun to get the canister?” With a grunt, the soldier aimed for the small device.

The potion had taken its affect, and Ulgrath’s entire body had been changed. His muscles and bones had enlarged, and he distantly remembered that the Ulgrath in his dream had looked the exact same way, save for the scars from battle. Then, utter blackness took hold of him.

The Korac marched purposefully towards the guard in charge of the prisoners, eyes gleaming. From behind a wall, Ne-Gok-Sa gave his command telepathically: Kill. The guard looked up, expecting to be relieved of duty. With a snarl and a slash from the claws, the guard was relieved of duty, permanently. The marro moved in, ready to retrieve the canister.

Drake was muttering again, Sonlen noticed. The elf shook his head; strange beings, these humans. With a ‘whizzzzzzzz’ and the clang of metal, the canister was in Drake’s grapple’s possession. With a sigh of relief, Drake drew it back. Suddenly, the door opened; and Ne-Gok-Sa looked down at them in surprise, but the marro quickly got over the shock, and said venomously, “Kill them.” Drake shot it into his arch-enemy’s shoulder, relishing in the hiss of pain. “Fire!!!!” he roared as the drudges and stingers pointed their weapons down. Too late. Bolts of lighting and purple goo shot down into the cell, finding their targets with deadly precision. Sonlen stood his ground, despite a wound in his thigh. A ball of energy began to form in his hands, and some of the marro were wise enough to draw away from the pit, avoiding certain doom. The rest weren’t so lucky, as the energy shot from Sonlen’s hands, then evaporated into thousands of needle sharp darts. Sonlen smiled. Thirty less enemies to worry about. Drake used the small pause to grapple out of the pit, slicing a stinger in two. A vine lay nearby, and he tossed down one end. “Come on!” he shouted. Sonlen grabbed the vine, then shinnied up to help his companion. The rest of the team followed.

The Korac had taken Ulgrath to yet another cell, this one very close to the roaring. He was still groggy, but things were clearing up a bit. A small puddle of water lay in the corner, and with gratitude, he knelt and gulped it down. Feeling refreshed, Ulgrath looked around the cell; it was bare, with two doors. The door to the right was where he’d come in, what lay behind the other? It was made of a strange rock, and no matter how many times he tried, there was no way to make the slightest damage upon it. With a sigh, he sat down, resigned to his fate. Something’s happened, he thought as he felt his muscles. As he listened to the roars of the ‘something’ behind the door, Ulgrath became angry. Angry at the earthlings, for driving him from his home. Angry, at the capture that had taken place by the Korac. Angry, for the injustice of the world. His rage boiled over, and the strength in his bones tripled. A horn sounded, and the door opened. Outside, flames illuminated a gigantic pit, containing a humongous beast, chained and ready for battle. The animal was at least fifty feet long, with fangs the size of daggers. The skin was a dark red, with rock-hard scales covering the entire body except for the belly. The pit was in the center of a huge cavern, and the Korac were present, cheering and yelling. I’m being used for entertainment, he thought.

Ne-Gok-Sa stayed at the back of the attacking force, knowing full well what the front-lines would be getting. The screams and hisses of the dying and wounded told him that he was correct. The soldier and the elf, standing side by side, took on all comers. The few minutemen and elf archers were putting in their two cents as well. The battle wasn’t going as well as he’d anticipated, the marro warlord reflected. Time to retreat, and let the reinforcements do the rest. “Retreat.” Like a receding wave, the marro sped away into the inky blackness, leaving the former prisoner’s weary but alive.

The Korac leader stepped out into view of the cheering crowd, and then motioned for quiet. Clearing its throat, the alien began, “I’ve given you all one of the greatest gladiatorial battles you will ever see. The main attraction is the dragon and the alien. To make it fair, I’ve given the alien a permanent strength potion.” The crowd laughed upr0arilesly. They knew that even with extra strength, the alien was as good as dead. “I’ve also captured fifty various beings for many years, and now, I will free them for this fight. The winner shall become the main course at the feast after the battle.” Again the crowd laughed and then screamed in anticipation as fifty doors were opened. A few brave Korac were ordered to unchain the dragon, and to the surprise of many, only two were killed in the process. The leader grinned. “LET THE BATTLES COMMENCE!!!!!”
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  #51  
Old December 2nd, 2008, 09:31 PM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 11

I like it. You could use a bit more descriptive language, but the overall tone and direction the story is heading seems to flow well. Kudos to you A-bomb.
~ET86

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  #52  
Old December 2nd, 2008, 10:54 PM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 11

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Originally Posted by EternalThanos86 View Post
I like it. You could use a bit more descriptive language, but the overall tone and direction the story is heading seems to flow well. Kudos to you A-bomb.
~ET86
I'll try to work on the descriptiveness, and thanks for telling me that the story is flowing well. I was afraid that it'd be like my previous Fan fic.
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  #53  
Old December 7th, 2008, 09:40 PM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 11

The arena had been used many times, and Ulgrath lost no time grabbing one of the discarded swords on the sandy floor. The blade was jagged, with multiple razor-sharp edges. The fight began as the fearsome dragon lunged for one of combatants, incinerating the gladiator with a mighty fireball. I’m dead. A half-man, half-marro sprinted for him, cackling. On Predatoria, Ulgrath had been well trained in the art of the sword, and he now put it to good use, evading the marro’s spear and piercing its belly. As the blood ran out, Ulgrath’s eyes became clouded. Bloodlust. Hungrily, he gazed about for the next opponent. He wasn’t long in waiting as three gladiators teamed up to slay him.

The sniper sneered as the marro poured out of the tunnel entrance. “I knew that they couldn’t even take on some prisoners,” he grumbled. Ne-Gok-Sa was the last out, and he glared venomously at the speaker. “Alright, boys, let’s get into position.”

Sarge flopped to the ground, exhausted. “Sonlen, what do we do now?” he asked while he wiped away some sweat from his forehead with his arm. The elf narrowed his eyes then whispered to his dragon. The dragon flew off towards the entrance. “I shall stay here, until my dragon returns, and then I shall try to clear any resistance up top while the rest of you try to rescue Ulgrath.” Drake snorted as he retorted, “Do you actually think that I’m gonna leave ya behind to fight all those marro?! Forget it bub, I’m going with you.” Sonlen smiled. “Very well.” Sarge turned to a minuteman. “John, I’m leaving you in charge. Try to locate Ulgrath, and rescue him. Also, take this,” he said, handing him the canister. “If I don’t make it back, give it to Jandar. Is that clear?” “Yes, sarge.” “Well, let’s get goin’.”

Ulgrath had easily killed the three, and now was focusing in on the prime target: the dragon. And the dragon saw him. With a ground-shaking bellow, the monster broke the chain that had bound him, then clomped toward the alien. “Bring it!” he shouted in defiance to the roar. Thump Thump. Thump Thump. Time seemed to slow down and all sound was erased, save for the beating of his heart, as the beast came closer, and closer. Bloodlust had clouded his vision, and Ulgrath realized to late the massive claws coming from the side; he landed in a heap, jagged wounds on his face. He got up. “IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?”

The dragon had returned to Sonlen, warbling in the language known only to elves and their pets. “Let’s go.”

The sniper had positioned himself in a large tree, where he could survey the entire area. Good sniping place, he thought. A red dragon had flitted out from the tunnel, but none had been able to get a clear shot on it. Now the dragon had come out again, and the sniper had him in his sights. Taking a deep breath quietly, he let it out as he squeezed the trigger. BLAM. A scream of rage burst from Sonlen’s throat as he saw his beloved pet fall to the marsh floor. Drake saw it too, and felt his friends pain. The elf, usually cool and collected, dashed from the tunnel, sending his magic at the sniper. Without a sound, the soldier fell from his perch; Sonlen’s pet had been avenged. “FIRE!” yelled the captain of the elite. A dozen snipers appeared from nowhere; behind rocks, trees, and from foxholes. Drake was already moving into action as he saw the elf drop, pierced by multiple bullets. By the time he’d gotten to his friend, Drake could see that it was hopeless. “Kill a few for me Drake.” Sonlen murmured as his eyes closed for the final time.
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  #54  
Old December 8th, 2008, 10:59 AM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 12

WHAT!?! Sonlen is dead! Oh my, this is quite the piece my friend.

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  #55  
Old December 8th, 2008, 01:12 PM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 12

I figured it was time for him to die. You might notice that I'm not too afraid to kill of people.
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  #56  
Old December 8th, 2008, 01:22 PM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 12

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Originally Posted by EternalThanos86 View Post
WHAT!?! Sonlen is dead! Oh my, this is quite the piece my friend.


Hey! If Sonlen can fall to Nagrubs, then he can fall to these snipers! Great installment to the story!


Your curiosity will be the death of you....
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  #57  
Old December 8th, 2008, 06:19 PM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 12

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Originally Posted by EternalThanos86 View Post
WHAT!?! Sonlen is dead! Oh my, this is quite the piece my friend.


Hey! If Sonlen can fall to Nagrubs, then he can fall to these snipers! Great installment to the story!
Thanks, I'm guessing the next part will be the one where they escape from the Korac. I've also noticed that recently I've failed to put in anything besides them being captured. Next part will be here in a week or so.
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  #58  
Old December 12th, 2008, 02:46 PM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 12

Update: I've got a huge writer's block, so this is on hold for a while.
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  #59  
Old December 12th, 2008, 04:50 PM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 12

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Originally Posted by ABOMINATION View Post
Update: I've got a huge writer's block, so this is on hold for a while.

Go ahead and take your time getting through the writer's block! I understand COMPLETELY!! (Believe me, I do!)

Edit: Fixed!


Your curiosity will be the death of you....

Last edited by gorthan313; December 13th, 2008 at 01:42 PM. Reason: No more writer's block!!!
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  #60  
Old December 15th, 2008, 06:27 PM
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Re: A New Threat-Chapter 13

I got over my writer's block, so here's the next part.


Sir Gilbert led the legion of knights slowly through the redwood forest, followed closely by the rest of the armies of the allied alliance. To the south, the brave leader heard the hissing of the vipers; to the north, Q9 was leading the grey and cold soulborgs of Vydar towards a deserted tower, once the fortification of the late Valkyrie, Roadr. The day was warm, but cloudy. A slight sprinkle had set in, as the elves had predicted. A knight walked up to Gilbert, grinning. “Looks like we’ll be have rusty armor, sir,” he said. Gilbert nodded, but said nothing. He’d heard something. “Get the men together, and follow me,” Gilbert ordered softly. The soldier grunted in affirmation, then walked away. Thup thup thup thup thup thup. “What in King Arthur’s name is that?” He picked up a walkie-talkie that a soulborg had given him. “Hello, Zetacron? Yes, this is Gilbert. Radio Q9 that his unit might be in trouble; I’ve heard something, and it’s heading for him.”

The Spartan pilot glided his chopper just above the tree tops, scanning the premises. There was not much to see. Just a sea of forest, and the occasional river.

Q9 had reached the castle, and the thumping of the helicopter had alerted him that danger was near. “Major Q10?” The major looked up from oiling his joints. “Yes, Major Q9?” Q9 raised one of his guns toward the chopper, and Q10 nodded. “Exterminate enemy vehicle.” Raising his rockets, the soulborg homed in on his target. A feeling of sorrow swept over him; yet another human he had to kill. Why can’t we just live peacefully, he thought as the chopper glided into view again.


One more sweep, and I’ll head back, the pilot thought to himself. Then off to get a well-earned meal. He glanced at a castle through his side window. He continued his mission, then swerved. Maybe I should check the castle; ya never know.

Q9 watched the chopper turn, then head right for them. “Fire.”

An orange streak burst from the fortress, heading for the chopper. The pilot saw it coming, and the grabbed his radio as he turned and put his vehicle into full speed. “Commander, I’ve found the enemy, repeat, I’ve found the enemy!” The rocket hit the engine.

Commander Aqiran sat at the controls, headphones pressed to his ear. “We’re getting a signal!” he shouted. “Commander…..I’ve….enemy….repeat….found…enemy!” Then static. Aqiran slammed the headphones down, then cursed. “We’ve lost another chopper, but at least we know where they are.” Arnot walked into the control room, and looked at Aqiran. The commander looked up, then reported, “Sir, we have the enemy’s location. What are your orders?” Arnot smiled the ‘Evil general who’s just got good news, and is going to send in something evil’ smile, and announced, “Gentlemen, prepare the troops. We shall march forward in two days, but keep an eye on the enemy.”

Sniper bullets zipped into the dirt alongside Drake, and pinged of rocks. This sword sure can come in handy, he thought. Five dead Spartans were the victims of Sarge’s wrath as of yet, and ten more were to meet it, if everything went according to plan. A soldier, perched atop a rock, fired steadily away at his target. Using his grapple, Drake hit the man square in the chest before continuing for the leader. “Get him!!!!!” the man screamed in terror. He stopped screaming, and fell to the ground, a gaping hole in his chest. “That’s for a friend of mine.”

The dragon panted with exertion; no matter what he did, no matter how many times his claws dug into his foe, no matter how many times his fire scorched him, the alien would not go down. Ulgrath, without any regard for pain, went after the unprotected belly. The dragon roared with fury, his strength was beginning to wane. “Succumb, give up, die.” Ulgrath shouted as he went for the belly yet again. Sharp, bloody claws whizzed by his head, barely missing him. Ulgrath had reached the dragon’s weakness, and tore at the belly with renewed vigor.

Captain John had led the force though the many winding tunnels, and had finally found the gladiatorial pits. Peering through the bars, he watched in awe as the alien tore the heart from the huge dragon. He turned to his men. “Ready you’re guns, men. We’re goin’ in after him.” The men reloaded their muskets; John nodded. “Charge, grab the alien, and let’s get the heck outta here.” “Yes, sir.”

Ulgrath, covered in blood, held the dragon’s heart up, and roared. He felt the bloodlust leaving him, and the world lost its red outlook. The Korac were motionless, staring in shock. The last man standing….was the alien. The silence was broken by a musket shot. The Korac leader slumped from his chair, dead. “FOR JANDAAAAAARRRR!!!!” A volley hit a group of Korac. John ran up to Ulgrath. “Come, alien. We must get out of here.” The Korac remained still; none wanted to face the monster who had defeated their prized dragon. “I know the way back to the opening,” yelled one of the few elven archers.

Drake had finished burying his friend, when the group emerged from the opening. John held a stick of dynamite. “The airborne elite told me this would come in handy,” he yelled. Ulgrath nodded, then took the stick, and thrust it into the opening. “Get back!” KABOOM! “Let’s see ‘em try and get out o’ there, the scum,” a minuteman muttered. Captain John walked up to Ulgrath. “I believe that this is yours,” he said, handing him the canister. “Yes, yes it is.”
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