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Old July 15th, 2009, 09:52 AM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
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A New Threat: The Forgotten

Part 1 can be found here.


Chapter 1.

This was his job. And it was good. Isamu was pressed against a tree, breathing slowly and quietly. Four knights were hacking their way through the vines and plants of Aquilla’s swamp, trying to find their way back to the Jandar camp. Utgar’s army was closer than Jandar had supposed, and Isamu was the leading strike. Quickly, and with practiced ease, he slipped into the vast jungle. He reappeared nearer to the knights, and drew his black knife. It was his job; to kill. He lithely leapt for the back of the knight and plunged the blade into an opening. The victim fell with a heavy clunk. The nearest knight stopped, and looked back. “Sir Charles, come here! We are missing a man.” Sir Charles looked up from a vine he was cutting. “What is it, soldier?” Grumbling, he plodded over to the knight.

“Something has happened to our comrade, and I think that we best be on our guard.”

“A good idea.”

Sir Charles looked back to tell the other knight to be on his guard….he was one more man short.

“SOLDIER!”

“Yes sir?”

“Sound the trumpet.”

The knight nodded and took off the large silver trumpet that was strapped to his back. Before he could blow it, a black knife sailed through the air, striking the knight in the neck.
Isamu chuckled. One man left, this was too easy. He reached for a silver star that was on his belt. Within seconds, he had thrown it and finished his job for the day. Time to get back to Utgar. He froze. A rustle in the bushes. A hiss. The ninja reached for his small sword, and backed away from the sound. More rustling. He was trained not to panic, and Isamu slowly turned and began to walk away, sword still in hand. A roar, and stomping feet! The sound was coming closer, and Isamu leapt for a tree…..and stopped in mid air. He was floating in mid air. He could not move anything, save his eyes. A chuckle, and then a whisper: “Valhalla shall fall to me.”
A black sword cut through Isamu’s chest. He gasped, then went limp.
“For ten years I have waited. For ten years I have hidden in these swamps. I am forgotten, but I shall make all who fight here remember me.”
A brilliant blue flash, and that particular part of the jungle was empty, except for the 5 bodies that lay in eternal sleep.

Last edited by ABOMINATION; July 15th, 2009 at 09:58 AM.
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  #2  
Old July 15th, 2009, 11:58 AM
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Claws of Death Claws of Death is offline
 
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Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Shweet. I like it, ABOM!!!!

"People of Gotham! Take control.... take control of your city! THIS.... this is the instrument, of your liberation...."
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  #3  
Old July 15th, 2009, 12:00 PM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
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ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Thanks! If you read the first part of A New Threat, you'll probably be able to guess who the Forgotten person is.
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Old July 15th, 2009, 12:00 PM
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Claws of Death Claws of Death is offline
 
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Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Quote:
Originally Posted by ABOMINATION View Post
Thanks! If you read the first part of A New Threat, you'll probably be able to guess who the Forgotten person is.
Sorry, I didn't, but I'll find out!!!

"People of Gotham! Take control.... take control of your city! THIS.... this is the instrument, of your liberation...."
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  #5  
Old July 15th, 2009, 12:06 PM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
Chilly Fangirl
 
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ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

I'll be writing this off and on, so as not to completely drain all my creative juices. Last time I wrote a fanfic, I don't think it turned out well at the end simply because I was writing to much in a hurry. This time I intend to take it slower.
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  #6  
Old July 15th, 2009, 12:18 PM
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Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Good job. I haven't looked at the first part yet but this new one is looking pretty good.
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  #7  
Old July 22nd, 2009, 11:00 AM
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Myst9 Myst9 is offline
 
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Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Wow! I could learn from you! What books do you read?

For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, ...authorities, ...the world powers of this darkness, ...the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. Ephesians 6:12.
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Old July 22nd, 2009, 11:05 AM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
Chilly Fangirl
 
Join Date: August 20, 2008
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ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Eh, Frank Peretti now and then, some Michael Crichton and Tom Clancy (the second is meant for older people, but I read 'em anyway) and I used to read Red Wall series. Glad you like my work!
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Old July 22nd, 2009, 11:09 AM
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Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Frank Peretti? Really? I loved the Cooper Kids and This Present Darkness!

I've been doing some writing, including some fanfics on this site (the link in my sig), but I'm not sure how good I am, and have been slacking in my reading. I'd like to know what you think, and I'm planning on coming back here for more of your work. Really, I'm confident about the action/story scenes, just not the dialogue.

For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, ...authorities, ...the world powers of this darkness, ...the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. Ephesians 6:12.
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  #10  
Old July 22nd, 2009, 01:11 PM
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ABOMINATION ABOMINATION is offline
Chilly Fangirl
 
Join Date: August 20, 2008
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ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla ABOMINATION is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: A New Threat: The Forgotten

Yeah, I'll read it for sure and critique it!
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