Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline literally until "the whenever
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
One more question: if the tale is backstory for a figure without one (say, one of the DnD HS figures), and it turns out that in the backstory the figure used to be on the other side, will that work if they team up with the side you would currently expect them on? (So for example if I revealed how Brandis Skyhunter used to work for the Drow, but the story had him team up with Sharwin?)
... Or am I really stretching things too far here?
~TGRF.
That could fit the bill, but again it'd be at a disadvantage against a more obvious entry. So it would work, but you'd have to really make it work.
~TAF
Yeah, and you better bring your pointiest sticks TG. My entry is KILLER. I'm already done writing it, just 5000 words or so, but it will blow you away. I sincerely believe this is my best work yet, and I'm even thinking of turning it into a book...hmmm if that's the case maybe I should dumb it down a bit so you can't steal it! :P
Anyway I worked reeeaallllly hard on this piece, and you guys are gonna LUV it!
Feeling like an old lurker. 15 years, wow. That's half as long as I've lived. Love y'all like family.
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline literally until "the whenever
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elven Lord;
Yeah, and you better bring your pointiest sticks TG. My entry is KILLER. I'm already done writing it, just 5000 words or so, but it will blow you away. I sincerely believe this is my best work yet, and I'm even thinking of turning it into a book...hmmm if that's the case maybe I should dumb it down a bit so you can't steal it! :P
Anyway I worked reeeaallllly hard on this piece, and you guys are gonna LUV it!
Well then, sounds like all it needs is some good competition then. Right guys?
Nothing worse than a killer entry with no competitors. Keep me posted, everyone.
~TAF
TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline literally until "the whenever
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elven Lord
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
One more question: if the tale is backstory for a figure without one (say, one of the DnD HS figures), and it turns out that in the backstory the figure used to be on the other side, will that work if they team up with the side you would currently expect them on? (So for example if I revealed how Brandis Skyhunter used to work for the Drow, but the story had him team up with Sharwin?)
... Or am I really stretching things too far here?
~TGRF.
That could fit the bill, but again it'd be at a disadvantage against a more obvious entry. So it would work, but you'd have to really make it work.
~TAF
Yeah, and you better bring your pointiest sticks TG. My entry is KILLER. I'm already done writing it, just 5000 words or so, but it will blow you away. I sincerely believe this is my best work yet, and I'm even thinking of turning it into a book...hmmm if that's the case maybe I should dumb it down a bit so you can't steal it! :P
Anyway I worked reeeaallllly hard on this piece, and you guys are gonna LUV it!
No worries. I am literally incapable of stealing another person's book. The book, that is. I can totally steal a setting or a scene.
I currently have nothing in the works, but a few ideas are floating around. We'll see if anything pops.
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline literally until "the whenever
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elven Lord
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
One more question: if the tale is backstory for a figure without one (say, one of the DnD HS figures), and it turns out that in the backstory the figure used to be on the other side, will that work if they team up with the side you would currently expect them on? (So for example if I revealed how Brandis Skyhunter used to work for the Drow, but the story had him team up with Sharwin?)
... Or am I really stretching things too far here?
~TGRF.
That could fit the bill, but again it'd be at a disadvantage against a more obvious entry. So it would work, but you'd have to really make it work.
~TAF
Yeah, and you better bring your pointiest sticks TG. My entry is KILLER. I'm already done writing it, just 5000 words or so, but it will blow you away. I sincerely believe this is my best work yet, and I'm even thinking of turning it into a book...hmmm if that's the case maybe I should dumb it down a bit so you can't steal it! :P
Anyway I worked reeeaallllly hard on this piece, and you guys are gonna LUV it!
No worries. I am literally incapable of stealing another person's book. The book, that is. I can totally steal a setting or a scene.
I currently have nothing in the works, but a few ideas are floating around. We'll see if anything pops.
~TGRF.
I know you are. Just prodding you to produce your best work to make this a challenge for TAF
EDIT: Oof, I just CAN'T decide what prompt to give you guys
Feeling like an old lurker. 15 years, wow. That's half as long as I've lived. Love y'all like family.
Last edited by Elven Lord; February 12th, 2018 at 02:45 PM.
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline March 5th, word limit 15000
Ok peeps, I just thought TGRF might want to know what he's up against Let's make this an awesome competition! Here's my entry. 5,500 words of pure gold!
Prepare for a rollercoaster! I am going to drop you a hundred feet with a sudden rush of emotions, then jostle you along a rickety wooden track, and finally bring you in for a nice easy landing. Ready? Set! Go!
Manzoku
Spoiler Alert!
As I think back on the first time I died, all I remember is seeing the tip of my brother’s sword closing in on my face. He must have struck me squarely between the eyes because I blacked out instantly. Now I sit with darkness as my dwelling…at least, I think I’m sitting, I’m not sure. I only recently came to, or…well, I don’t know that I ever stopped being conscious. I wish I could tell you it was all a blur. That would be the easy thing…but it wasn’t. The experience felt more like a passing into utter clarity. In an instant, I was pulled out of all the madness that came before. All the strange yet seemingly justified justifications that made me feel I had the right to raise my sword against my brother. Now there is naught but darkness to my sight, but my mind is filled with light and clarity.
Let me fill you in. Five years ago the evil general Utgar was defeated once and for all. The general was slain by Jandar at the Battle of Tairs Peak. His ruin was cast upon the sharp jags of the rocky valley below with bleak cliffs and gray mountains looking on—You will forgive me some artistic flare. I mean, cut me some slack, I am dead after all—Utgar’s minions were slaughtered, captured, or driven into exile. His summoned creatures were cast back to their home worlds as soon as Utgar’s talisman was destroyed.
For a time, we celebrated. Being a kyrie myself, I took to the wind with some of my friends and flew free through the red Valhalla sky at sunset. It was good to feel the wind against my face and the warm sunlight without fearing the flight of an arrow or a robot sniper. Our enthusiasm was only diminished by the sight of destruction all around us. About two thirds of Valhalla’s countryside had been affected by the war at one point or another. But then our spirits soared once again seeing the smiling faces of the people. Their homes were ruined, yet their faces smiled, and they could not keep from dancing and singing and playing music on harp, lyre, and fiddle. We felt then that the worst was over, and that Valhalla would move toward peace…but it was not to be.
Not long after the celebrations ended the generals fell to arguing amongst themselves over how to divide the lands that once belonged to Utgar. Some of his domain was mountainous or volcanic, but most of it was lush and green, with certain strategic locations where fortifications could be built or repaired. Most of the generals were content with their claims. Ullar, Vydar, and Aquila returned home, and Valkrill had long since been destroyed, almost obliterated from memory, as he deserves. But I digress. Jandar and Einar remained and debated how the lands should be divided.
I’m not altogether clear on what happened then. It is not the place of us underlings to question our superiors. They say, “March,” and we say, “Yessir.” At least, that’s how I felt before I died, when madness still clouded my judgement. However, I overheard some of the officers talking, and apparently Jandar felt that Einar had less claim to Utgar’s lands because he had fought with Utgar at first before being betrayed. Jandar would concede to Einar only the lands which he had lost to Utgar’s betrayal. Einar would not accept this, and they fell to quarreling and eventually war. At least, that is what I heard happened. All I know for certain is that one night I was drinking and having a pleasant conversation with a lovely woman, and the next morning we answered muster as though nothing had changed.
My brother, Akinari, deserted to the side of Jandar, unwilling to fight an extended conflict for a cause he did not believe in. Akinari worshipped Jandar and was never one for duty. Now, in death, I wish I had sought harmony over duty, but I fear it is too late to mend the wrongs I have done. My brother had every right to kill me, under the natural law, for I, in my blind obedience to duty, had sought out his life. Thus, the realization hit me, the law had been broken, and such constant violations were why the world was falling apart. It was the violation of the natural law that ended my life. Jandar had sought to deprive Einar of what was rightfully his, and just like that I was trying to deprive my brother of life.
In this way, I saw that we were all brothers, having the right to own our money, bodies, homes, and lives, and by fooling ourselves into believing that certain powerful individuals had the right to dictate right and wrong to others…by this violation we had caused the chaos. We, the order takers, had done this. What is duty, and what does natural law care? It does not care. It does not care either way. It simply is. If we live by the law we have peace, and if we break the law, as I have done, we will have only strife and destruction.
The darkness lifts with shuddering and shifting. I fly swiftly, and not of my own volition, over hills and vales, past mountains and rivers. I see the whole world around me vibrating! It is alive with movement. Even those things which I once believed to be solid are in constant static motion, vibrating, shuddering and shifting, while not losing their shape. Even the snow on the mountainside is in constant, violent motion, yet no avalanche cascades from the peak. And then I understand, inexplicably, that world around me was never solid, it was all in flux.
A series of visions pass before my eyes, blood and brethren clashing, terrified villagers huddled in their homes, my sister! She is terrified, clutching a newborn babe to her bosom as fighting rages in the streets. “Masae!” I try to call out to her, before being torn away.
Then I see my brother standing over my body. Tears of violent sorrow fill his eyes. The sounds and trappings of battle can be heard and seen all around, as brother wages war against brother in violent fratricidal conflict. The scenario I lived and died in playing out again and again, without end in sight.
Akinari cries my name, “Shiroshi!” and kneels at my side, bending over me. He cries bitter tears and gathers me up in his arms. His tears fall on my face, and my blood runs over his arms and armor. I realize with a jolt that though I am dead, and all life has left my body, that my body is still in motion. It is not at rest, it cannot be, for it exists. And just like that it dawned upon me that life is an illusion, and so is death. Once something is, it cannot cease to be. It can be flung into chaos by failure to live by natural law, but it cannot be undone by the sword. Thus, while I am dead and separated from my body, I persist, that vibration which is the life granted me by the Creator still persists. I still am even though I do not live. Only my rhythm has changed, only the rhythm of a heart beating in my chest is gone, nothing more.
Just like that, I am sucked away from the field of battle, “Akinari!” I try to cry out to him, but he cannot hear me. The rushed passing of the landscape subsides, and I see Jandar pacing in his study. He looks old; his once rich brown beard white with strife. The energy of the wellspring sustains him, but he is fading. His second wife, Helga, enters the room. She is much younger than him, but still middle-aged for a kyrie. She places her hands upon his face, and he looks at her with a tired gaze.
“Who was I to believe I could be justice in this land? What gives me the right to dictate the law?” I hear him ask her.
She places her hands on his face, and I see him lean in to their warmth, “Nothing,” she says.
He looks into her eyes with a wise old smile and says, “You never did mince words, Helga. That’s what I love about you…among other things.”
His wife feigns a shocked look and slaps his hand chastising.
Jandar’s face grows somber once again, “What must I do, Helga? I grow weary of war, and arrogant in strength. I am tired my dear.”
I am sucked away from the scene. My heart soars, and I pray to the Creator that Akinari, Masae, and their child live to see the end of the war. Again, I am transported, not of my own volition, to another place. When the rushed passing of scenery ends, I find myself in the war council of General Einar. Several faces known to me are among them including Kato Katsuro, my own Daimyo.
Einar is speaking. He is saying, “We must drive General Jandar’s forces away from the source of the Kentung River. If completion of the dam succeeds he will be able to march his armies into any part of the Western Rivermark, and this cannot happen! The dam must be destroyed!”
Grunts of approval meet these words.
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. It is opened and one of the court wizard’s apprentices walks in. He goes at once to his master and bows whispering something in his ear. The court wizard waves him away and turns to the general.
“Sire, the scries indicate that Jandar’s forces at the Field of Manzoku have been driven back. We must move quickly to press our advantage. This is a hard won shot at that dam.”
Manzoku! That is the battle in which I have just fought!
The general rubs his hands together eagerly, “Yes! Move up the reserves, send in reinforcements. In fact, I want to be there myself for this one!”
The scene begins to fade. I try to cry out to the general, “NO! No more blood needs be spilled!” but it is clear I cannot be heard. I cannot form words they can hear.
I am again left in blackness when a voice booms from the shadows, “SHIROSHE.” It is neither a shout nor a whisper. It is more like a light, silent sound, booming and reverberating through me.
“Who…Who are you?” I manage to get out.
“I am the Word, the source of the First Thought, the Thought from which was born the Universe. Every planet, every plane, every brain began as an individual thought of mine.”
And in this moment my eyes are opened, “You are the Creator.”
“Yes Shiroshe, I am the Creator.”
“Have you come to take me home to Nirvana?”
The Creator chuckles, “Nirvana, Heaven, Sovengarde; take your pick. They are all the same thing only laureled with different imaginative trappings by the minds of mortals.”
I am feeling more at ease in the presence of the Creator now that I know I am heard, and he has not blasted my essence into oblivion yet. “So, what is it really?”
“Eternal closeness to me, freedom. Your rhythm becomes bound and unified to my rhythm. You become a part of the very fabric of the universe, united with me in thought, and are granted an eternity to explore my mysteries. Should you desire to take form you may, or not, with my blessing.”
“And this is my fate?”
“That is still to be decided. You broke the natural law, my laws, and you are not redeemed. You raised your sword against your brother, and slew many of your fellow creatures, creatures granted sentience and rights by me.”
“I am sorry for this, truly I am.”
“I know you are, and that is why I have chosen you for my champion. I have tried long and hard to restore peace on Valhalla. It was once a beautiful place, full of love and laughter, and the kyrie obeyed the natural law and kept it as their boon. Now it is overrun with hatred, and if this war continues, it will escalate. Valhalla will plunge into eternal chaos. If Einar attacks the dam there is a chance that Jandar’s grandson, who is inspecting the structure, will be slain. If this happens, there will be no end to the conflict, and my hope of a plain full of creatures of all world’s living in harmony will be shattered.”
I am given a second chance! I leap for it! “I accept this task, Creator, yet I must ask—”
“With all my power why do I not simply stop the war?”
I nod my head.
“When I first thought the universe into being, I did not want it to be full of puppets, robots who could do nothing more than what their masters commanded. So out of my love for them, I gave them free will, and gave them the natural law to govern them. I made these laws impersonal, so that it could be used by no one to justify a violation of natural law and get away with it. EVERYTHING has a consequence. If one were to walk off a cliff, it wouldn’t matter whether he believed in gravity or not, he would fall and crack his head open like an egg. All this, so that all my creation may experience both joy and sorrow, rather than nothing at all, and when they die they receive the full consequence of everything they chose in life.
“So, you see I cannot interfere, for to do so would be to contradict myself, and that I will not do. All will be judged according to the natural law when their time comes.”
I nod my head at this revelation. I can’t believe it! I am talking to the Creator Himself! Then I refocus and say, “Yes, my lord. Give me this chance to redeem myself, and I will not let you down.”
I do not hear the voice again. The darkness of the void lifts, and again there is that rushing of scenery that indicates I am going somewhere. When the rushed passing of hills and vales subsides, I find myself on the battlefield of Manzoku.
Oh, what horror! Bodies of the slain lie in every direction as far as the eye could see. There must have been 200,000 strong fighting in that battle. It takes me only a moment to take it in. Then I hear bitter sobbing. It is my brother, Akinari. He still kneels holding my body. The armies have passed on. Jandar’s forces steadily being driven back. As I look on, Akinari lays my body down, and begins to undo the straps on his armor. What is he doing! I move in closer and realize that I now have control over my movements. I look down and realize that my body is a spectral blue, an astral form. I am a specter!
I look up again in time to see Akinari draw his short sword and level it with the bottom left side of his stomach. He’s going to commit seppuku!
“Akinari!” I cry flying forward. To my surprise he hears me. He leaps to his feet, stepping over my body protectively. He bends in a slight crouch and readies his sword. His large golden-brown wings ready to launch him into the air. I pull up short of him, and it is clear that he can see me. I hover in front of him, “Akinari,” I plead.
His eyes open wide, “Shiroshe?” he says breathless with disbelief. He rubs his eyes, then they fill with tears at the revelation, “Shiroshe…I am sorry brother! I did not want this!”
“Nor did I,” I say, my voice sounding like a hollow echo. “A great many wrongs have been done on this plane, and I have been sent to put a stop to it.”
“But…how are you…by whom?”
“By the Creator.”
“What?”
“I have been sent by the Creator, the Word, the First Thought,” I say.
Akinari sheathes his sword. “You met the Creator?” His voice filled not with disbelief, but wonderment. It must be the only thing that makes sense to him…unless he thinks he’s dreaming.
I nod my head, then unsure if he can actually see the motion of me nodding my head I say, “Yes brother, I met the Creator, and he is filled with great sadness at the wrongs being done here. The natural law has been violated. The war must come to an end, or Valhalla will plunge into eternal chaos.”
“Yes, yes,” Akinari said, repeating the phrase with greater conviction, “I cannot hope to be so readily redeemed, but this will be the start. We must end the war!”
I move in closer and place my hand on his shoulder, surprised that I can feel it, and that my hand does not simply pass right through. “Einar is on his way here. We must move quickly.”
“There is so much more I wish to say to you,” Akinari tells me gravely.
I grip his shoulder more tightly, “I know brother, but we have no time to waste. If Einar attacks the dam, there’s a good chance this war will escalate and destroy Valhalla and all who live on it. Jandar desires peace. We must move quickly!”
I see Akinari nod curtly, “And your body?”
It is a strange feeling, when one is deciding what should be done with one’s own body. It is not something I need anymore, but it is also not a piece of trash to be simply discarded. Coming to a decision I say, “Let’s place some of those fallen branches over it to protect it from wild beasts. Einar’s forces will be here soon, and it will be buried. I had a vision in which Jandar desired an end to the war, come, we must hurry.”
We do as I suggested, and then make our way East toward where I believe Einar will go first, his encampment at Hishida Gorge.
I look about me with sadness and regret. The fallen dead lay all around, some in piles, others laying alone or in pairs. The Kentung River runs red with the blood of the slain, and the wails of widows can be heard in the distance as the camp followers arrive to clean up the field. It is enough to turn my stomach, only I don’t think I have one.
We arrive at the encampment before nightfall and behold Einar’s flag is raised above the command tent. “We’re in luck!” Akinari tells me.
“Not so fast brother. You are a deserter remember? If you go in there, Einar will likely have you killed.”
“So be it, it is no less than I deserve, follow me.” Akinari says this, and, before I can stop him, swoops down to the guards.
“Akinari!” I try to call to him but it’s too late, the guards recognize their former commander and seize him.
I cannot abandon him! The sentries have either not noticed me or cannot see me. I make my way unseen to Einar’s command tent. Akinari is on his knees before him. The general is speaking in a furious tone.
“How dare you desert my army! How dare you betray your kin! I aught to make an example of you in front of everyone.”
“I bear a message from General Jandar,” Akinari says unfazed, steadily holding Einar’s furious gaze.
Einar stands there still fuming, then says in a low dangerous tone, “You were one of my best, most faithful commanders, and you betrayed me. But for the sake of the tiny, sliver, of respect I still have for you, I will hear your message.”
“Thank you, sire. Jandar wishes to parley with you on the Field of Manzoku at dawn tomorrow. He desires to settle with you and put an end to the war.”
Einar holds his gaze. I perceive that he is still furious at him, but they were friends for long enough that he can see that my brother is telling the truth. His fury relents. “I will never forgive you for betraying me but tell Jandar I will meet with him tomorrow morning. If I see more than two guards with him, I will press my attack and destroy him. Now go before I change my mind.”
I breathe a deep sigh of relief. Akinari will be able to make his way safely back to Jandar’s lines. I turn and make my way out of the encampment. Akinari will never make it to Visandron in time, but I can. I take to the sky and fly with all haste toward Jandar’s fortress.
I fly through the early hours of the night and arrive with time to spare. I ignore the gate and the guards, and glide past the sentries without difficulty. I pass through the thick walls of the tower…or at least I try…turns out Jandar was smart enough to have his court wizard put wards around the castle to prevent shades from flying through. I guess I’m close enough to shade essence that it prevents me as well. I fly up and over the parapet, down the stairs and through the keyhole into Jandar’s study. I could get used to this.
“Hello Shiroshe,” General Jandar is sitting at his desk, and has not even looked up! It must be the power of his wellspring.
“General,” I say respectfully. “How goes the war?”
“I was hoping you would tell me,” the general replied in a tired tone of voice. He sets aside some reports, pulls out a cigar that Captain Alexander made for him, lights it, and lets the smoke roll to the ceiling. He holds a cigar out to me, “Cigar?”
“Well,” I tell him, “It can’t kill me.”
The general laughs from somewhere deep in his chest, “I think you’re right.” He hands it to me and helps me light it. To my surprise I am able to smoke it. Being dead isn’t quite as bad as I thought.
“Before the War of the Wellsprings, or Ragnarok as my Viking warriors call it, Valhalla was at peace. The knowledge of the natural law was enough for all, and all obeyed it.”
“I remember that time. It was many years ago. I had a wife and family then.”
Jandar bows his head toward me and says, “I hope you may see them again.”
So here I am, dead, and reminiscing with one of the greatest lords in Valhalla like two old friends. This is not the first I’ve encountered him. We fought together many times against Utgar’s forces, and I have discussed strategy with him on certain occasions. I have always known him for a fierce and powerful warrior, yet I’m beginning to feel this is the first time I’ve really met him.
“I will see them again if this war comes to a close.”
Jandar heaves a mighty sigh, “I wish this too, but how? My forces at the Field of Manzoku are in full retreat. I doubt a messenger would ever get through, such is Einar’s fury as it is described to me.”
“Einar has already received the message.”
Jandar looks up startled at this, “But how? I ordered no such message to be delivered to your lord.”
Well, I think to myself, it’s not like he can kill me again. Sighing I tell him, “My Lord, after I died, I had a vision of you expressing such a wish to your wife, and in conveying this wish to my brother, Akinari, the message made it to Einar.”
“So, you mean to tell me that your brother took the liberty of delivering such a message without my express orders?” Jandar leaned forward in his chair a serious look on his face.
Uh-oh, “Yes, My Lord.”
“Well thank the Creator!” Jandar sighs leaning back in his chair and taking a long, contented draw on his cigar.
Dodged that bullet.
“Tell me,” Jandar continues contentedly, “where and when is the meet to be?”
“The Field of Manzoku tomorrow morning at dawn. You are to bring no more than two guards, or he will attack. For now, his forces are standing down.”
Jandar nods in agreement, “This is customary. We must be off if we are to make it in time!”
We fly through the night with great haste, myself, Jandar, and two of his finest sentries. We reach the Field of Manzoku before dawn. The sentries curl their lips as the stench of death rises to meet our senses. Much of the battlefield has been cleared, but there are so many dead…and this is a small battle compared to the ones in the previous war.
The first light of dawn peaks over the horizon, and some quarter of a mile away we see General Einar’s standard raised on a grassy knoll. It appears to be the only untouched patch on the entire plain.
Jandar does not hesitate, but immediately makes his way to where the standard is raised. I and the sentries follow him. Akinari falls in with us halfway, and one of the sentries falls behind in keeping with Einar’s wishes.
As we draw closer we see Einar, also accompanied by two soldiers, and bearing upon his face a most unpleasant look, his visage twisted by countless hours spent brooding the wrongs done to him.
He wastes no time, and dispenses with all pleasantries, “Jandar! I hear tell you desire peace. Have you come to surrender to me?”
"No,” Jandar replies evenly.
“Well then!” Einar announces, “It seems we have little to talk about. You have done a great many wrongs to me. Stretching out this pointless war was your idea not mine. How many more have died for your unacceptable lack of reason?”
I almost interrupt the general to point out that he too is being unreasonable, but then remember that reasoning with unreasonable men is like jumping into a fire and hoping to not be burned, so I say nothing while he continues his tirade.
“You sought more than your fair share of the wealth. It was you who wanted to double the lands you controlled by taking over everything Utgar left behind. And at our last meeting you were quite clear that you would never change your mind, ‘upon my honor,’ you said! What honor have you?”
Einar’s fuming tirade continues on like this a little while longer. Jandar, with surprising good grace, holds Einar’s gaze with a wise old look on his face. Eventually, Einar begins to get winded, and finally stops for a breath some moments later. It is then that Jandar speaks six simple words that stop Einar in his tracks.
“Brother,” he says calmly, “I think we should retire.”
Einar just stares at Jandar for a long incredulous moment, then understanding begins to dawn in his eyes. They stare at each other a few moments more, then Einar throws his head back and laughs! Then Jandar starts to laugh! This goes on for a time, before the wind blows in from the West and the scent of death is blasted over their nostrils. Then they shook their heads, and somber looks replaced the gay semblances that adorned them only moments before.
Einar is the first to speak, “What have we done?" He says the vale visibly lifting from his eyes. "We have become crazy old men, my old friend.”
Jandar nods his head in reply, “Come. If it is so important to you, take all of Utgar’s old lands. It matters not now. Our people enjoyed peace for five millennia without rulers or governments bigger than tribes. They did this by the law of the Creator which are fused inseparably into this world.”
“What are you proposing?” Einar said, listening now.
“Let us call together the other generals and demolish all borders. Those among the summoned who will abide by the law will be permitted to stay. Those who won’t will be returned to their home worlds with ample reward for their service and our blessing. Valhalla will be at peace, and so will Shiroshe.”
“Shiroshe?” Einar asks, and I move forward. He looks at me as though seeing me for there for the first time. He and the two samurai with him turn to me and bow in respect. “Thank you for your service Shiroshe. I will ensure your name enters story and song. Is there any final wish you would have me grant you?”
I do not hesitate, “Yes, sire. Please pardon my brother, Akinari, and allow him to return home to my sister in peace.”
Einar appears to ponder this for a moment then says, “As you wish it, Shiroshe, so I shall do. Go in peace. We will take on the burden of restoring peace to Valhalla from here.”
I return his bow, and see my astral form beginning to dissolve. I hear and feel the Creator’s voice reverberating through me.
“Well Done,” he says.
“Wait! A moment more!” I beg.
“A moment more.”
I turn to my brother, and we go off a way.
“It is not right that you should depart and I, your killer, be left unpunished,” Akinari says, drawing his short sword once again.
I place a comforting hand on his shoulder, “You must live. It was I who sought your life, not you mine. There is nothing to forgive, and nothing to answer for. Return to my sister. This war has kept you two apart long enough. Besides, my nephew will need his father to raise him to be strong.”
“I…I have a son?” The joy of this revelation persisted even as sorrow overcame him again. “You cannot leave!” He cries, tears entering his troubled eyes, “I am so sorry.”
"Do not weep for me, dear brother, and do not be troubled. The first time I died was the last time I died, and the last was the first time I truly lived.”
I see my astral form continue to dissolve, the specter that had manifested me slipping away with the last rays of dawn. My brother’s face fixed upon me.
“Father!” A young boy runs into the room where I kneel in respect. A tapestry hangs on the wall of the room with candles and a small altar below it. On the tapestry is depicted a tall powerful kyrie warrior, his wings unfurled. It shows him burying his sword in the ground. The boy comes and kneels by my side. He is just growing old enough to ask the endless stream of questions that will accompany him through his young life.
“Yes, Fumihiro, what is it?”
“Who is that man on the paper?”
I smile to myself. He is referring to the tapestry but does not know the word. The question was hard enough for him to say.
“He was your mother’s brother, and he was mine. His name was Shiroshe.”
“Ohhhh,” the boy’s face twists for a moment as he ponders this. Then he leaps to his feet and runs outside to play in the garden.
I turn back to the tapestry, and some moment’s later another older boy enters the room and kneels next to me.
“You are late Shiroshe, again.”
“From what you’ve told me, I take after my uncle.”
“An uncle you never knew.”
“An uncle I know through you.”
I close my eyes contentedly, “Do you remember the battle in which he was slain?”
“Manzoku,” Shiroshe replied at once.
“And do you know what Manzoku means?”
“Contentment, Father.”
“Yes, my son, it means contentment. It was named such because in the old days of Valhalla, it was a place of quiet contemplation for the kyrie. There was something profound and magical about the place. They knew this millennia before Einar discovered his first wellspring there. In that time, the time before the wellsprings, the kyrie lived in peace, guided by the natural laws which govern us all. It is Shiroshe’s legacy and his dying wish, that Valhalla be returned to this state of peace, but there is much to do before Valhalla is restored to it’s former glory. And it starts with you, Shiroshe, it starts with you and all those like you, the young. Do you understand?”
“I understand, Father.”
“I am proud of you my son, and so is Shiroshe.”
We both bow in respect toward the tapestry.
Feeling like an old lurker. 15 years, wow. That's half as long as I've lived. Love y'all like family.
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline March 5th, word limit 15000
I try to avoid reading the competition, so as to avoid accidentally stealing anything, but I opened the spoiler for a moment just to read the first line.
Quote:
As I think back on the first time I died, [...]
Congratulations, EL. Welcome to the club of killer first lines.
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline March 5th, word limit 15000
EL I'm beginning to think all your buildup is just you trolling me and the story's intentionally crap. But I'll give it a look-see and determine its quality for myself.
~TAF, will edit in his thoughts post-reading
TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline March 5th, word limit 15000
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
I have the seed of an idea. It could tank. It could also blow up in EL's face. We shall see what comes of it.
~TGRF.
Bring it on
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan
EL I'm beginning to think all your buildup is just you trolling me and the story's intentionally crap. But I'll give it a look-see and determine its quality for myself.
~TAF, will edit in his thoughts post-reading
No, but I should totally do that to another judge down the road.
Feeling like an old lurker. 15 years, wow. That's half as long as I've lived. Love y'all like family.
Re: Fan Fic Contest - Deadline March 5th, word limit 15000
At this point I feel that I have to say I have nothing. No idea really struck me for this prompt. I had a few stories which would fit, but I wasn't feeling any of them. I am also too interested in my novels at the moment, and my other writing time is taken up with HiS at the moment.
Unless, as has been known to happen, I get a sudden rush of inspiration and turn something out in a matter of days, it looks like EL will win this one.