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  #1  
Old June 27th, 2011, 11:42 AM
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Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

The Goal

The goal of this thread is to provide a single-perspective, straightforward set of advice and critiques for potential C3G public design submissions. If you would like to have me evaluate your public design concept with an eye toward clarifying your focus and vision for the design while avoiding the sometimes overwhelming “too many cooks” syndrome, this is the place to make that happen. This thread is not official in any way. I am not associated with the C3G and I cannot guarantee that a design that has been through this process will be any more interesting to the C3G Heroes than a design that has not been through this process. But I can promise my personal best effort at evaluating your design and trying to help you be better at what you love to do.

The Process

In essence, a design will be submitted, I will critique and ask questions in an attempt to assist the designer in achieving their vision for the design at which point that evaluation will be complete. Anyone can submit one design at a time to this thread for me to evaluate. Do not submit a second design until your first has finished the evaluation process. I will work on up to three designs at a time and will keep a queue list in this post if there are submissions waiting for evaluation in addition to the three already being evaluated. Each design in this thread should be discussed solely by the designer and myself. I trust these designs will eventually see a much wider critique, but that is not the purpose of this process.

The Person

As someone who loves the game of Heroscape, the superhero genre, the customs community and C3G, I have critiqued a number of customs for existing designers including designs by C3G Heroes. I am an emeritus of the C3G ERB, a current member of the C3V ERB and have been active in the NM24 thread. While I am not in any way perfect, I believe I have a unique perspective to offer and I have a passion for helping customs designers to realize their goals.

The Call

Come one, come all – let’s try to break your customs! It’s the first step to making them better.

The List

In Process
1. Baron Mordo by Gurei-Ornery
2. Mindless One by LEIV
3. Invincible by Red Eyed Jedi

The Queue
1.
2.
3.

~Aldin, Utterly Unofficially

He either fears his fate too much
or his desserts are small
That dares not put it to the touch
to gain or lose it all
~James Graham

Last edited by Aldin; November 15th, 2011 at 08:12 PM.
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  #2  
Old June 27th, 2011, 11:46 AM
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quozl quozl is offline
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Thank you so much for offering your time and insight!

If you could, I'd love critiques of my Broodling write-up:

Broodling

Brood
Common Hero
Warrior
Wild

Life 1
Move 5
Range 1
Attack 3
Defense 6

PARALYZING STING
Start the game with 2 Paralysis markers on this card for each Broodling in your army. After attacking, choose an opponent's Unique Hero adjacent to a Broodling and roll the 20-sided die. Subtract the chosen figure's Defense value. If you roll a 11 or higher, place a Paralysis marker on the chosen figure's Army Card.

PARALYSIS
A figure must subtract 1 from its Move value for each Paralysis marker on its Army Card. Paralysis does not affect Brood figures.

FLYING

40 points

C3G is creating SUPER stuff for Heroscape! / "I donít play childish games, I play C3G."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Craig Van Ness View Post
I highly recommend C3V and C3G customs!
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  #3  
Old June 27th, 2011, 11:50 AM
Griffin Griffin is offline
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Awesome start here Aldin!
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  #4  
Old June 27th, 2011, 02:41 PM
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Margloth Margloth is offline
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Yeah, this will be cool!

EDIT of EDIT: Three posts up! Three posts up! Why didn't I read the intro?!

~Margloth, palm-on-foreheadingly

C3G Needs You! Interested in playtesting? Want to playtest?
Humbled to have been a C3G Hero!

Last edited by Margloth; June 27th, 2011 at 03:33 PM.
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  #5  
Old June 27th, 2011, 02:50 PM
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Thanks for taking the initiative here Aldin.

Welcome to C3G | C3G Playtesting Sign Up | C3G Books of Index

Praise about C3G: "This is great. The cards have everything you need to know about the figure on them."
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  #6  
Old June 27th, 2011, 03:08 PM
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by quozl View Post
Broodling

Brood
Common Hero
Warrior
Wild

Life 1
Move 5
Range 1
Attack 3
Defense 6

PARALYZING STING
Start the game with 2 Paralysis markers on this card for each Broodling in your army. After attacking, choose an opponent's Unique Hero adjacent to a Broodling and roll the 20-sided die. Subtract the chosen figure's Defense value. If you roll a 11 or higher, place a Paralysis marker on the chosen figure's Army Card.

PARALYSIS
A figure must subtract 1 from its Move value for each Paralysis marker on its Army Card. Paralysis does not affect Brood figures.

FLYING

40 points
So it looks like the concept for the Broodling here is a cheap, tough, common flier that can permanently slow the opposition. There aren't many synergies with existing C3G designs, though Martian Manhunter can move them with Telepathic Directive. Presumably, there would eventually be a synergy with a Brood Queen of some sort. Oddly enough, though lacking synergies, Common Heroes are immune to a number of powers targeting Unique Heroes, a small boost for the Broodlings.

The limiting factor of placing a maximum of one Paralysis Marker (which only reduces movement by one) per turn using an OM that could have been on a significantly more powerful unit may make the Broodlings too inefficient. I'm having a hard time figuring out when I'd rather slow a unit down by 1 instead of attacking it, mind controlling it, knocking it across the battlefield or otherwise making it miserable. The probable success chance of ~25% just makes it even harder to consider.

My guess is that you have a Brood Queen concept which would allow the use of Broodlings in conjunction with some other action. "As is", I think they have a difficult time justifying an OM at any price.

The easiest way to make those OMs efficient is to make the effects of paralysis more powerful. It could be an effect that causes OM loss, reduces the maximum number of OMs that can be placed on a figure, reduces more than just movement, reduces movement by more than 1 or some other combination. What direction do you think makes the most sense? How important is a 40ish point price? Also, as with Morsbane, the effects of Paralysis should probably be included in the Paralyzing Sting power since they are not actually a power themselves, merely a description of the effects of the Paralyzing Sting power.

One other issue with Paralyzing Sting is that the language of the first sentence needs to more closely mirror that of the Mezzodemon Warmongers: "At the start of the game, place 2 Paralysis markers on a Broodling Army Card for each Broodling figure in your army." As of right now, if you had three Broodlings and used all three cards, you would have 6 markers on each card - 18 total.

From an aesthetic perspective, I wonder if C3G will want a Broodling that has no power representing the ability to infect others. It seems to me that your Broodlings could exist "as is" with an infection power/OM efficiency multiplier on a Queen or a Purebred card at some point, but making Broodlings cheap and potentially putting powers on a Queen that make them more effective is problematic because scalability is a real concern in C3G. When you might play a 1,000 point game or a 1,500 point game the same Queen can run a dozen more 40 point Broodlings in the 1,500 point game.

~Aldin, insectivorishly

He either fears his fate too much
or his desserts are small
That dares not put it to the touch
to gain or lose it all
~James Graham
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  #7  
Old June 27th, 2011, 03:10 PM
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Margloth, please take a moment to revisit the initial post. You can fire away, but please do not fire more than a single away at me at any given time. Also, please refrain from making comments on other folks customs within this thread.

~Aldin, fine tuningly

He either fears his fate too much
or his desserts are small
That dares not put it to the touch
to gain or lose it all
~James Graham
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  #8  
Old June 27th, 2011, 03:13 PM
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Toxic Waste Barrel Destructable Object

Life: 4
Defense: 3

Deadly Radiation: At the end of every round and when this Toxic Waste Barrel is destroyed, roll the twenty-sided die for all figures within one space of this Nuclear Waste Barrel plus one additional space for each wound marker on this card, up to a maximum of +4 spaces. If you roll 1-6, place one wound marker on that figure's card. Figures with the Superstrength special power may add two to their die roll.


Curious to see what your take on this is.
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  #9  
Old June 27th, 2011, 03:17 PM
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aldin View Post
Margloth, please take a moment to revisit the initial post. You can fire away, but please do not fire more than a single away at me at any given time. Also, please refrain from making comments on other folks customs within this thread.

~Aldin, fine tuningly
Yes sir, I apologize! For some reason my brain told me I had read the intro, and obviously I had not!

Anyway, big thanks again for this!

C3G Needs You! Interested in playtesting? Want to playtest?
Humbled to have been a C3G Hero!
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  #10  
Old June 27th, 2011, 03:35 PM
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Thanks Aldin for offering this help to everyone. Here is my design that I think is the most interesting.

Psycho-Pirate DC

Spoiler Alert!

Proud to be a C3G Ally!!

Gamerhusband's customs comics thread

Last edited by GamerHusband; June 27th, 2011 at 05:50 PM. Reason: Changed point cost
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  #11  
Old June 27th, 2011, 03:42 PM
Griffin Griffin is offline
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

I am noticing a MARKER TREND..... Psycho Pirate has ONE Medusa Mask btw.
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  #12  
Old June 27th, 2011, 03:44 PM
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Aldin Aldin is offline
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Re: Aldin's Utterly Unofficial Design Tune Up Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by All Your Pie View Post
Toxic Waste Barrel Destructable Object

Life: 4
Defense: 3

Deadly Radiation: At the end of every round and when this Toxic Waste Barrel is destroyed, roll the twenty-sided die for all figures within one space of this Nuclear Waste Barrel plus one additional space for each wound marker on this card, up to a maximum of +4 spaces. If you roll 1-6, place one wound marker on that figure's card. Figures with the Superstrength special power may add two to their die roll.
First I would like to give the caveat that I have never critiqued a Destructible Object before and I am only peripherally comfortable with the new C3G rules for using and throwing them. Having said that, you have a couple of purely editorial issues. The first is that it is either Toxic Waste or Nuclear Waste - the name should be the same throughout the power and the description. Also, the card can't have more than three wound markers on it (without being destroyed) so +3 would be the maximum number of spaces.

I'm having a difficult time reconciling the theme and the gameplay. Thor can pick this up and throw it at Harley Quinn, but neither is harmed by the toxicity unless they happen to be near it at the end of the round (or if it is destroyed)? It is also an item that would have wildly different effects on different figures - but there's no way to show that with the object. It hurts the Toxic Avenger (theoretically), MODOK, Martian Manhunter, Doombot and 5th Precinct Beat Cops pretty much equally (though a bit more likely to hurt the cops and MODOK oddly enough).

Perhaps it should only have an effect when it takes a hit/is destroyed? Then you could justify the damage as acid/shrapnel/etc. I'm just not sure there's a good way to otherwise reflect the massive variance in the way different existing C3G figures would be affected.

~Aldin, poisonedly

He either fears his fate too much
or his desserts are small
That dares not put it to the touch
to gain or lose it all
~James Graham
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