Safety In Meeting Online Friends In Real Life?

[ninthdoc]

nether, I was told the exact same thing by my wife the day that I went to Killeen to pick up UD, with my own son. I began having the same thoughts, which is why I kept calling markwars and Rÿchean to tell them our progress on the way back. Now, don't I look like the poster child for things you shouldn't do on the internet?

markwars, PM coming.

[DoesntCompute]

In all honesty, I have zero desire at the moment to meet any of you in person. Is that fair? Nope. Is it irrational? Yup. Is that the opposite of what Funrun and Ninth are advocating? Yup. Do I care? Not really.

My emotional response will ease with time but I guarantee that none of you will see my home until I've gotten to know you a heck of a lot better than I do now.

[ninthdoc]

Originally Posted by DoesntCompute

In all honesty, I have zero desire at the moment to meet any of you in person. Is that fair? Nope. Is it irrational? Yup. Is that the opposite of what Funrun and Ninth are advocating? Yup. Do I care? Not really.

My emotional response will ease with time but I guarantee that none of you will see my home until I've gotten to know you a heck of a lot better than I do now.

I'm sorry you feel this way, but I understand completely. This is exactly what I had hoped could be avoided by this situation. I fear that the sins of ultradoug will haunt us for quite some time.

[copronymous]

Originally Posted by wisinger

I like IMax, prefer to have private get togeathers, as opposed to open an open door policy to my home, as I don't want people I don't know coming anywhere near where I sleep at night, and where my wife and kids feel safe.

Very true...very true. Nothing has had a greater bearing on my life than an attempted home invasion. Now, sleep is precious. It has been months, we got a dog, AND we moved. But still, evey little noise makes me jump. It sometimes turns into a miserable existance in a way.

Hopefully this effect isn't as dramatic via the internet, but it seems good for the community in a way...raises awareness.

*Sidenote*Funrun, I always got the impression that UD had an abnormal obsession with you.

[ninthdoc]

Originally Posted by copronymous

*Sidenote*Funrun, I always got the impression that UD had an abnormal obsession with you.

copy - Go back and read his posts, this could be said of almost every user that he knew was female.

anbody - If you're paying attention to my posts, that's the first truly negative thing I've said about him that was an opinion only and not rooted in fact.

[Bannister]

Originally Posted by ninthdoc

copy - Go back and read his posts, this could be said of almost every user that he knew was female.

anbody - If you're paying attention to my posts, that's the first truly negative thing I've said about him that was an opinion only and not rooted in fact.

Now if we are honest with ourselves we will admit that more than one member of this community has gone gaga whenever female members have come around. A rather lengthy thread involving heroscape diva comes to mind.

When something like this comes to light it is easy to go back and read old threads and give them more weight than they deserve. We should just take this for what it is, a reminder to be vigilant to the dangers of online predators and to do what needs to be done to protect our loved ones.

Bannister

[Buddy Lee]

I personally am not concerned about meeting any 'Scapers in person.

For a variety of reasons.

(Yes, I know that this is not necessarily the place for levity, but if we allow the circumstances to ALWAYS dictate our actions and change our behaviors then the we lose something in the process. I for one refuse to kowtow to things beyond my control. I prefer to take control and do what is right.)

Buddy Lee

[Rodriquez]

I will try to be precise here.. on the point of meeting ppl on the net(I will not comment on the UD situation).

Offhand I've been "online" for well over 10 yrs now, at least 12-14 yrs on the net itself and on bbs/com64 boards before that as a kid.

my exp with meeting ppl? it has gone all ranges, from meeting that chic in college who stalked me and screwed my college acct over to meeting ppl like Doc, Rychaen, basically the whole TX group, including others like Funrun, justjohn, celtic, who are some of the best ppl I know.

my thoughts? am I gonna stop talking to ppl online b/c of the few who are warped/perverted? No I am not.

will I be more cautious than I already am? No, I believe Ive got enough sense to keep an eye of ppl I barely know, etc.

will I meet more ppl in the future? For sure, as the majority of the ppl Ive met have been good, decent, kind-hearted ppl.

and that's the crux...how ye met more warped/perverted(in the bad way that is) than ye have good ppl? if so I'm verra sorry, but it's not how this place really is, at least on the HS boards.

do ye yahoo? Irc? etc? than aye it's likely ye've run across the ppl lookin for booty calls, a quick lay, a hookup, or a green card... it's a given nowadays, and ye just ignore them and find the better ppl like yerself who're lookin for friends and gamers.


what does this mean? it breaks down to I'm not gonna change b/c of one person bad ideas, however it is b/c of them that alot of ppl will change and it won't be for the better, a loss of innocence is alway something to mourn


Rod

[InfinityMax]

Originally Posted by DoesntCompute

In all honesty, I have zero desire at the moment to meet any of you in person. Is that fair? Nope. Is it irrational? Yup. Is that the opposite of what Funrun and Ninth are advocating? Yup. Do I care? Not really.

My emotional response will ease with time but I guarantee that none of you will see my home until I've gotten to know you a heck of a lot better than I do now.

Yeah? Well I didn't want to meet you either!

I'm just going to take my DSL and go home.

[all jokes. please dont get mad.]

[Hex_Enduction_Hour]

Originally Posted by markwars

I keep trying to reply to this thread and I keep deleting my repsonses before I submit them. I am a knot of emotions right now.

All I can say for sure is that this sucks. It really really sucks.

I know, I know. I agree. I'm just a fanatic for a board game and now I've got to start thinking of this type of stuff. We admins have been discussing where and what to do next. It's a step in the right direction what with everything that has happened, but darn, it's not fun...

Originally Posted by ninthdoc

Use good judgement, but enjoy life.

When you begin denying yourself your own life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, that's when the bad guys win.

Totally.

[Malechi]

It all comes down to awareness of your surroundings. Be observant, be vigilant and be aware, but do not be afraid.

• When meeting new people be aware of the "vibe" you receive from these strangers. Funrun was in touch with her vibes and it lead to the right conclusions, but she didn't live in paranoia she found a way to access and gather information regarding the feelings she felt. She didn't hide away in fear.

• Meet new people in public places first, never invite them to your home as a first meeting place (unless you have your own security staff). HeH did this, the NorCal gamin g group had met the first time at a game shop to play a day of HeroScape. On the next meeting he invited us all to his place for a BBQ, there was only one new player coming ... UD. Oops.

•*If you are unsure of a situation bring a friend; if that isn't possible bring a cell phone and have a contact person with scheduled times to call ... and remember to make those calls even if you feel safe!

• A lot of people here have the "It will never happen to me"-attitude which, of course, leaves you open and unprotected. Others have an "I'm not going to meet anyone and stay safe"-attitude, which is just as unhealthy in the long run simply because it leads to an onslaught of paranoia.

Get out there, have fun, and remember to be observant, be vigilant and be aware, but do not be afraid.

[Jormi_Boced]

I invite new people to my home and I feel safe in doing so. I usually invite them when I am inviting other people. I would hate to have not met all the great people I have met through gaming. My friend and I even shared a room at Gen Con with a couple of guys from Mexico that we had never met.

I may be too trusting, but I also feel pretty secure. I have a good alarm system in my house. I also have a dog and a good local police force. I am also fairly well versed in MMA. I feel that anyone that violates my trust will regret it, but I hope that all my new gamer meetings continue to lead to new good friends.