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  #13  
Old February 3rd, 2020, 02:52 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
So if you see something you want to critique, please do so.

~TGRF.
Hmm, well there is one thing.

~TAF


Despite that, here is chapter five!

Utgar must deal with the aftermath of his actions. Has he just sentenced himself to death?

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #14  
Old February 4th, 2020, 12:35 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

Chapter Six is now live!

Utgar makes a final bid for freedom...

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #15  
Old February 5th, 2020, 03:00 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

Chapter Seven is now live!

Utgar is brought to Orm's citadel. Is this where it all ends?

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #16  
Old February 6th, 2020, 12:55 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,137
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The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

Chapter Eight is now live!

With only a small chance of success, Utgar makes his final attempt at true freedom.

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #17  
Old February 7th, 2020, 02:39 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,137
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 53
The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

Chapter Nine is now live!

Knowing that he is going up against a Valkyrie with nearly unlimited power, Utgar moves on the wellspring...

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #18  
Old February 8th, 2020, 06:45 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,137
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Blog Entries: 53
The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

Chapter Ten is now live!

The tale of Utgar's origin ends, surrounded by immortal soldiers, and confronted with a mighty Valkyrie.

This is the end of the first of the prequels. Please let me know what you thought, and what you liked/thought was done well, as well as what you disliked/thought could have been better. My writing will only improve based on your criticism, so don't hold back.

Things I tried to improve in this fan fiction:
Spoiler Alert!


Concerning sequels: currently I plan on going through with my plan to write one or two more fictions in this prequels series. When written, I'm going to post those other stories in this thread, as if they are simply sections of one big story (which to be honest they will be). So please hold your ratings until the whole thing is completed. This is merely Book One.

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #19  
Old February 10th, 2020, 12:04 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,137
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 53
The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

A reminder: if there's anything you think I need to work on, now is the time to mention it, while the next fiction is still under construction.

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #20  
Old February 13th, 2020, 10:07 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is online now
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,137
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 53
The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Rise of the Valkyrie - Utgar

@TheAverageFan So now that CoN is over for a day or two, might I prevail on you to share your thoughts with me? I need that feedback.

~TGRF.

Eternity (Iteration 5.2) - Structuring Series 1
Spoiler Alert!


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  #21  
Old February 14th, 2020, 12:47 AM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
Competitive Fan Fiction Champion
 
Join Date: December 17, 2009
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Sor

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
TheAverageFan So now that CoN is over for a day or two, might I prevail on you to share your thoughts with me? I need that feedback.
I must admit I've fallen behind. I have a lot of work over the next three days but once I finish the story I'll get back to you (aka I'll edit this post with my thoughts).

Edit: So @The Grim Reaper's Friend I finally got around to finishing this, and my thoughts are that it was pretty good. It was short and sweet, and well-written as always, though it did leave me hungry for more. I really want to see the journey that leads the character in this story to the guy who is okay with summoning Marro and sending his own daughter into battle.

I only had one critique which was more of a point of confusion that I'll lay out below:
Spoiler Alert!


Anyhow, I am looking forward to any other Valkyrie prequels you're making. So there you have it. I would rate this an 8/10—there were very few flaws that I noticed, although it didn't soar to the heights that'd push it beyond an 8 in my opinion. I'd read more of this character's journey because I'd be curious to see how he and his daughter become such assholes.

~TAF

TheAverageFan is James...
in MIGOL'S TOMB

Last edited by TheAverageFan; February 20th, 2020 at 11:18 PM.
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