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#1021
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Re: The Joke Thread
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim."
That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning. |
#1022
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Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Don't think of it as being outnumbered. Think of it as having a wide shot selection! Scaper of the Week #17 How to get to Skyknight's house: Drive to the red light, then call him. |
#1023
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Re: The Joke Thread
Thought you'd enjoy that one.
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#1024
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Re: The Joke Thread
Have you heard about the newest techno-band? They call themselves 1023 Megabytes.
They're pretty good--they just don't have a gig yet. |
#1025
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Re: The Joke Thread
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
Spoiler Alert!
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#1026
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Re: The Joke Thread
I went to a zoo the other day, but there was only one dog in it.
Spoiler Alert!
Last edited by SirGalahad; April 4th, 2018 at 03:30 PM. Reason: Fixed your spoiler tag. Fixed the spelling. |
#1027
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Re: The Joke Thread
A woman is standing naked in front of her bedroom mirror.
"I'm old, saggy, and wrinkled," she sighs. Then she turns to her husband who is sitting in bed reading. "I could really do with you saying something nice, you know." He looks up.
Spoiler Alert!
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#1028
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Re: The Joke Thread
Murphy's Law says that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Spoiler Alert!
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#1030
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Re: The Joke Thread
George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.
Clooney says, "I'll direct." DiCaprio says, "I'll act." McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write." |
#1031
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Re: The Joke Thread
Mr. and Mrs. Jones had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business and the other was named Trouble.
One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, “What are you doing?” “Playing a game,” the boy replied. “What is your name?” the officer questioned. “Mind Your Own Business.” Furious, the policeman inquired, “Are you looking for trouble?!” The boy replied, “Why, yes.” Last edited by SirGalahad; April 30th, 2018 at 12:28 PM. |
#1032
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Re: The Joke Thread
Today, a 2-for-1 Happy Monday deal !!!
What happened to the man running in front of the car?
Spoiler Alert!
What happened to the man running behind the car?
Spoiler Alert!
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