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#1
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Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story
Apologies for the belated reply:
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Regarding the free indirect speech, you seem to have misinterpreted it as just having different PoV's. As I've explained previously, free indirect speech is simply incorporating a character's perspective into the 3rd person narration. The PoV can also shift quite freely, though the point remains that even if Thomas was the only PoV in the entire story FIS would still be used. You've probably used it yourself even unintentionally. Regarding jumping around the PoVs so much, it's a fair point I suppose. Perhaps I as a reader just don't require so much time in exchange for my investment, and so give limited PoV to each character (even Thomas) in turn. Once something endears me to a character I am more or less locked in from there. I also want to see things through the eyes of others in the group, because they are important. I just imagined it'd stick better, and having your reaction being just indifference to various gut-punch moments hurts the story immeasurably. I'd even incorporated your TMHW feedback to give the characters more "strong" actions, choices, and introductions, though it doesn't seem to have helped much. Quote:
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Neither Silvin or Elias see themselves as evil but they are perfectly aware of how others view them and so describe themselves as thus. Silvin is a lot more tongue-in-cheek about it: he's been played up as a bad guy in the media for years. Thorn's going after Silvin is contrived I will admit. It needs to happen and I did everything I could to make it organic as possible, but it does still feel not quite right. I will strongly contest Header's actions at the end. If you felt it was out of the blue then you need to reread any of Header's earlier scenes leading up until that point. Quote:
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Development is ongoing for the final entry of the trilogy, though it is still early and I have a lot to figure out when it comes to the fine-tuning of the piece and what-all exactly happens in it down to each chapter. It'll be some time before that's out to say the least. It will if nothing else wrap everything up for good so stay tuned for that. Thanks for taking all the time to read. ~TAF TAF was the Storyteller... in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT |
#2
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Re: APOSTLE'S CREED - a zombie story
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Perhaps 'antagonist' was a bad word, as Reed is not an antagonist the same way Silvin is. Quote:
There are far more important ingredients to making reader's like - and truly care for - evil characters. Top of the list is them recognizing that they are evil and/or trying to change. Quote:
Now it is certainly true that I require more to invest me in a character than the typical reader. I've noticed this as I've studied writing. So my comments can certainly be viewed as what is likely a minor issue blown out of proportion. That being said, I believe there is something to showing how a character views something, through their actions and dialogue, without resorting to entering their head. This is something I have been trying to rely on more in my writing, while also making sure characters don't just say everything they think (because it's ham-fisted and unrealistic). If I'm perfectly honest, I have to admit my lack of investment in the characters is likely a symptom of several issues, including FIS, too many characters in the group, and my own over-inflated needs for character investment. Perhaps you could give some examples of the strong actions/choices you had the characters do? I'd be curious to see why I missed those. Quote:
Now I don't know if the character's are being caused to make bad decisions (my personal bet is possession, which also explains Header's strange shift in character), but if someone had simply pointed out the decisions, or at least questioned them, things would have been so much better. Now granted, maybe there's a plot reason you can't do that, so as I said this is a relatively minor issue. Quote:
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I would again be glad to offer my ideas on how you could make the final entry better, but it would ultimately come down to what I think would work, and may not be indicative of readers as a whole (again, as evidenced by AMIS's rating). ~TGRF. |
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