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Old February 14th, 2021, 09:35 PM
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Post Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Greetings one and all. Yes, despite everything I've said or thought, I am still here, I am back, and I have written another fan fiction. Let it not be said that this forum is dead just yet.

This fiction is a retelling of the origins of Utgar, before he became a Valkyrie. Yes, I have told this story before. However, because I didn't think I did it justice, because I knew how to do it better, and because that is where my interest was, I have rewritten it. And now I present it to you.

I'm just going to dive right into it. There is a LOT of stuff I'd like to share with you about where my writing was, where it is now, and where I hope it will be. But due to the sheer amount of things I'd like to say, and the fact that most of you probably have zero interest in it unless you are writers yourself () I will spare you the details.

Basically everything you actually NEED to know is summed up in the introduction, which can be found here. Once again, the website is owned by me, devoid of ads or background programs. You can read free of distractions.

Chapter One can be found here. Also note the handy map of the Volcarren which might help during certain chapters. There are sixteen chapters total, and I will attempt to post one every day.

Let the reading commence!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
Spoiler Alert!

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  #2  
Old February 14th, 2021, 09:38 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

@William099 @TheAverageFan

I'm back.

~TGRF, pretty much out of words at this point.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
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  #3  
Old February 14th, 2021, 10:04 PM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Ooh, unexpected fanfiction. I will check it out and give my usual (nitpicking) feedback when I have time (a dwindling commodity for me right now).

Looking at yer site again reminded me of that wiki-esque endeavor you started on a while ago. Similar chronicling of my older works is about the most writing I do lately just to not forget it all. I think the mindless writing is a sign that I need to recharge my creative batteries.

~TAF

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

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  #4  
Old February 15th, 2021, 01:21 AM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
Ooh, unexpected fanfiction. I will check it out and give my usual (nitpicking) feedback when I have time (a dwindling commodity for me right now).

Looking at yer site again reminded me of that wiki-esque endeavor you started on a while ago. Similar chronicling of my older works is about the most writing I do lately just to not forget it all. I think the mindless writing is a sign that I need to recharge my creative batteries.

~TAF
I find the best way to recharge creative batteries is to go back to whatever sparked your interest in the story in the first place. Find that first thing which gave you the initial seed of an idea. Maybe it's a song, or a scene from a movie, or something you read... I find just revisiting the initial inspiration-spawner always gets my interest going again.

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
Spoiler Alert!

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  #5  
Old February 15th, 2021, 01:00 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Chapter Two is now live. Some chapters (like this one) pick up immediately where the last one left off, with zero recap, so remember that you can always use the drop-down at the top to view the tail-end of the previous chapter.

Also, chapters will tend to be on the long side.

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
Spoiler Alert!

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  #6  
Old February 15th, 2021, 09:52 PM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Okay I am caught up. Good so far; you always manage to keep up an impressively fast pace which I can't help but imagine is not something my own work ever manages. Only a couple dozen paragraphs in and we are set for our grand adventure.

Writing wise this one feels very distant and written matter-of-factly which stands out to me. It feels as blunt and harsh as its characters' lifestyles are so I assume it was done intentionally. Feels a lot like Dune in some areas (some; way, way less wordy). My only criticisms are a few instances of names being too close together (where one would normally revert to He's and She's), as well as the verb Licked being used thrice very close together.

As you said it would be it is already different from the other Utgar origin story which has my intrigue. Kind of feels like reading two different Competition Entries to the same Prompt, though if that were the case I'd say I already like this one better

~TAF

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

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  #7  
Old February 15th, 2021, 10:57 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
Okay I am caught up. Good so far; you always manage to keep up an impressively fast pace which I can't help but imagine is not something my own work ever manages. Only a couple dozen paragraphs in and we are set for our grand adventure.

Writing wise this one feels very distant and written matter-of-factly which stands out to me. It feels as blunt and harsh as its characters' lifestyles are so I assume it was done intentionally. Feels a lot like Dune in some areas (some; way, way less wordy). My only criticisms are a few instances of names being too close together (where one would normally revert to He's and She's), as well as the verb Licked being used thrice very close together.

As you said it would be it is already different from the other Utgar origin story which has my intrigue. Kind of feels like reading two different Competition Entries to the same Prompt, though if that were the case I'd say I already like this one better

~TAF
The fast pace is actually something I'm trying to cut back on. I feel like I'm too focused on introducing things quickly (see my recent FFC), and need to slow things down so that stuff can be introduced at a more natural pace. I have so far failed to do that, but if it's a plus in your book, then I'll count it as a win.

The distant tone is something I neither realized nor intended. I'm chalking it up to being out of practice, and writing about characters who are indeed distant. It's also something I'm trying to do less of; I want to write more like I did with the opening of HiS, where everything was through the character's eyes and personal.

Dialogue tags (and tags in general) were a bit of an issue throughout this fiction for some reason. Sometimes it might sound a bit off, but I think for the most part it's okay. It doesn't help that the words sound one way while I'm writing and another when I reread them.

Glad you like it; more coming tomorrow!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
Spoiler Alert!

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  #8  
Old February 16th, 2021, 02:49 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Chapter Three is now live!

Also, as this story was built with twists, I welcome speculation. I want to know how hard to spot the upcoming twists will be. Why was Runa taken? Was Runa taken, as Utgar believes? What will happen next?

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
Spoiler Alert!

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  #9  
Old February 17th, 2021, 01:43 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Chapter Four is now live! Comments/criticisms welcome!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
Spoiler Alert!

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  #10  
Old February 17th, 2021, 10:59 PM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The fast pace is actually something I'm trying to cut back on. I feel like I'm too focused on introducing things quickly (see my recent FFC), and need to slow things down so that stuff can be introduced at a more natural pace. I have so far failed to do that, but if it's a plus in your book, then I'll count it as a win.
Considering the last thing I wrote had a 60-page segment that consisted of little more than just characters visiting I'd say it's a plus.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The distant tone is something I neither realized nor intended. I'm chalking it up to being out of practice, and writing about characters who are indeed distant. It's also something I'm trying to do less of; I want to write more like I did with the opening of HiS, where everything was through the character's eyes and personal.
I usually try to have the narration be very personal, but I think it works for Utgar as he seems like a very guarded individual who'd have little to say about his experiences.

Don't have much to say on chapters 3 + 4 other than lots of fighting and I'm curious what this villain (if he even is a villain) will turn out to be/want. You and your cliffhangers, you.

~TAF

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT


Last edited by TheAverageFan; February 17th, 2021 at 11:18 PM.
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  #11  
Old February 18th, 2021, 12:32 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend
The fast pace is actually something I'm trying to cut back on. I feel like I'm too focused on introducing things quickly (see my recent FFC), and need to slow things down so that stuff can be introduced at a more natural pace. I have so far failed to do that, but if it's a plus in your book, then I'll count it as a win.
Considering the last thing I wrote had a 60-page segment that consisted of little more than just characters visiting I'd say it's a plus.
Hey, visits can totally work. Just look at Pride and Prejudice. Literally almost the whole book is either visits, preparing for visits, or reflecting back on visits. Proving once and for all that any setting will work if you have the right tension.

Chapter Five is now live!

~TGRF.

Go to my website to read my fan fiction!

Writing Status: Standing by for inspiration
Spoiler Alert!

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  #12  
Old February 19th, 2021, 11:53 AM
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William099 William099 is offline
the above
 
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Re: Valkyrie - A HeroScape Fan Fiction

Yay!

Customs here
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William099 is Lord of Blades...
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