Heroscapers
Go Back   Heroscapers > HeroScapers Community > Fan Art & Fiction
Fan Art & Fiction Graphic & Literary works bound only by the imagination


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #49  
Old May 29th, 2015, 01:04 AM
Crixus33's Avatar
Crixus33 Crixus33 is offline
Pssst...
 
Join Date: October 6, 2012
Location: USA - KY - Louisville
Posts: 1,198
Crixus33 wears ripped pants of awesomeness Crixus33 wears ripped pants of awesomeness Crixus33 wears ripped pants of awesomeness Crixus33 wears ripped pants of awesomeness Crixus33 wears ripped pants of awesomeness Crixus33 wears ripped pants of awesomeness Crixus33 wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: The River that was Red

Very good, very good. I am all caught up and have enjoyed it thus far. Except, I have minor bit of criticism. As soon as I read *spoiler* Utgar had, past tense, a wife. I knew Jandar killed her. I also knew that Jandar would end up perpetuating the war through his own twisted logic. It seems to be an odd trend in your stories for Jandar to end up being the true evil. The guy can't catch a break in your stories.

"Hello my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."~Inigo Montoya.


Pssst...
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old May 29th, 2015, 02:20 AM
TheAverageFan's Avatar
TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is online now
Competitive Fan Fiction Champion & Grade A Meme CoNtributor
 
Join Date: December 17, 2009
Location: USA - OH - West Chester
Posts: 3,030
Images: 313
TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: The River that was Red

That's because Jandar is evil. Raelin, 4th Mass, Nilheim... he's got the most annoying units!

~TAF, 4 dayz

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old May 29th, 2015, 02:28 AM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,403
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 75
The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: The River that was Red

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crixus33 View Post
Very good, very good. I am all caught up and have enjoyed it thus far. Except, I have minor bit of criticism. As soon as I read *spoiler* Utgar had, past tense, a wife. I knew Jandar killed her. I also knew that Jandar would end up perpetuating the war through his own twisted logic. It seems to be an odd trend in your stories for Jandar to end up being the true evil. The guy can't catch a break in your stories.
Hmm... not sure how I can avoid the past tense though. I mean, I can't very well say he has one now.
As to the trend... I think it's due to the fact that Jandar's soldiers are more relate-able, and therefore make for better protagonists. Jandar himself therefore, being the one in charge, makes for an obvious secondary antagonist.
~TGRF.

Spoiler Alert!

Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old May 30th, 2015, 02:05 PM
The Grim Reaper's Friend's Avatar
The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: USA - ID - Post Falls
Posts: 7,403
Images: 8
Blog Entries: 75
The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: The River that was Red

Nearly a year ago, on July 28, 2014, BiggaBullfrog gave out a new prompt in the Fan Fic Competition. That prompt was to write a story about the natives of Valhalla: the kyrie. My mind instantly leapt to this tale.
I very nearly told this story then. It's probably a good thing I didn't, as I wasn't prepared, and this wasn't a story that could be squashed into just a few pages. I did try, however. Fortunately, I never got past the opening poem.

These are the last three chapters of The River that was Red. Before you get into them, however, I thought I would post that poem I wrote. If ntohing else, let it serve to get you fully into the mood for epicness.

I give you, the finale:
Quote:
Children are on the fields, laughing, rolling, having fun.
Fish swim through the streams, splashing, slithering, in the sun.
Birds fly through the sky, singing, soaring, in the air.
Creatures run through the grass, galloping, trotting, to their lair.

But fires on the horizon do blaze.
War approaches with deadly gaze.
Smoking, choking, trees do fall;
Crushing, slicing, and killing all.

Armies are on the fields, yelling, clashing, slaying foes.
Bodies swim through the streams, lifeless, deadly, rotting clothes.
Arrows fly through the sky, stinging, arcing, in the air.
Warriors run through the grass, hunting, searching, glassy stare.
Book Four - Chapter Three
The Path Chosen

Spoiler Alert!

Chapter Four
Fate of the Innocent

Spoiler Alert!

Chapter Five
Winter Fades, Spring Returns

Spoiler Alert!

And so ends
The River that was Red

Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old May 30th, 2015, 03:04 PM
TheAverageFan's Avatar
TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is online now
Competitive Fan Fiction Champion & Grade A Meme CoNtributor
 
Join Date: December 17, 2009
Location: USA - OH - West Chester
Posts: 3,030
Images: 313
TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TheAverageFan is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: The River that was Red





Great ending--congratz.

~TAF

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   Heroscapers > HeroScapers Community > Fan Art & Fiction
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
River of Blood Scenario Dregoonus Official Rules & FAQ's 5 August 9th, 2010 06:11 PM
River of Ruin Battlefield Mossman Maps & Scenarios 3 August 9th, 2009 12:37 AM
The Battle of Blue River Mossman Battle Reports 4 June 29th, 2008 02:50 PM
Dethguild River Dandin Maps & Scenarios 5 December 2nd, 2007 01:39 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:22 PM.

Heroscape background footer

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.