The Fall of Feylund

[AMIS]

Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend

Glad you enjoyed it AMIS! I'm not sure I'm understanding what you're saying in the above though... you would have preferred Alfimir to ask why Aranthar will let him go so that Aranthar could give a deeper reason? Only for Aranthar to then say he'll him later anyway? How come?

~TGRF.

Keeping this response in spoilers just in case...

Spoiler Alert!

I think you're letting the reader (me) see that Aranthar does have some honorable qualities. But a 'bad guy' stating "I'm honorable" is not truly all that believable. You may be setting us up (which would destroy this minor criticism) and there's more to allowing Alfimir to leave peacefully but otherwise, a 'bad guy' out to destroy every elf opposing him...I can't see him simply letting someone go.

Like I said it's a small criticism that may just be me wondering where you're going with Alfy (sorry for the short form).

Alfimir simply asking why he was being let go would've been a cheap way out for the writer (you) but having Aranthar thinking back to why someone allowed him out of a similar circumstance or finding a personal connection with Alfimir would have been a solution. As I write I realize they were both after the same but different things - to remove magic in separate ways but to me there had to be something else to let Alfimir walk out...or you're setting us up for something in book 4...in which case simply smile and move on from this point.

As mentioned this was a very thought provoking book and by the end you begin to wonder who's going to be on what side and how they are going to mentally get there. A fantastic tale that had me thinking throughout.

[The Grim Reaper's Friend]

Originally Posted by AMIS

Spoiler Alert!

I think you're letting the reader (me) see that Aranthar does have some honorable qualities. But a 'bad guy' stating "I'm honorable" is not truly all that believable. You may be setting us up (which would destroy this minor criticism) and there's more to allowing Alfimir to leave peacefully but otherwise, a 'bad guy' out to destroy every elf opposing him...I can't see him simply letting someone go.

Like I said it's a small criticism that may just be me wondering where you're going with Alfy (sorry for the short form).

Alfimir simply asking why he was being let go would've been a cheap way out for the writer (you) but having Aranthar thinking back to why someone allowed him out of a similar circumstance or finding a personal connection with Alfimir would have been a solution. As I write I realize they were both after the same but different things - to remove magic in separate ways but to me there had to be something else to let Alfimir walk out...or you're setting us up for something in book 4...in which case simply smile and move on from this point.

I think I know why you had the reaction to that scene you did. It is not (currently) a set up for anything in book 4, but explaining why Aranthar let Alfimir go might dip a little too heavily into future revelations. For that reason I'm going to leave it there for now. That being said, if I had it to do over again, I would have included said future revelations (some of them anyway) in book 3 to avoid the reaction you've described.

I'm really glad you enjoyed the tale; thought-provoking is what I want, but also just fun stories people can lose themselves in. It sounds like I finally managed to strike the right balance, while keeping issues to a minimum.

~TGRF, appreciative of the feedback.