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  #1  
Old August 10th, 2008, 03:40 PM
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Eckels Eckels is offline
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A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

A LOSERS GUIDE TO WINNING TOURNAMENTS
-or-
8 helpful steps to becoming a complete bastard of an opponent.

If you've been playing in tournaments but haven't yet been able to pull out a win, here are some quick and easy tips to help you make it to the top!

1 Every die roll could have been better.
You expect more from your dice and your opponents must know it! No roll is strong enough. Grumble at your dice, and curse your own luck, even in victory!

2 Make sure they show you every single die roll.
Sure your opponent may say they didn't defend against those three skulls, but why should you believe them? Make your opponent know you'll believe your own eyes, thank you.

3 It's all in the eyes.

To succeed on the battlefield, you must first conquer your opponent's spirit. Glare at your opponent. Make them uncomfortable. Divert their attention from the action, because...

4 If your opponent doesn't notice it, it's not your problem.

Sure you broke engagement and then jumped off a cliff, but who's responsibility is it to keep track of that? If your opponent isn't paying attention, then it's not your fault if you forget to roll for disengagement, or falling damage, or that special attacks receive no bonuses...

5 Make the rules work for YOU.
Rules lawyering is not against the rules. At least, the practice isn't specifically mentioned in the rules, so it's fair game! Because remember, when it comes to arguments about rules...

6 The D20 is your friend.

If you can't agree on a rules argument, it's decided by a 20d roll. You have a 50% chance of winning any of those die rolls, which is always better odds than simply giving in! Take the debate to the die roll whenever you can.

7 No one has a right to touch your figures. Ever!

It says it right there in the rules. Sure your figure may have been bumped between spaces, or is presently sitting halfway off a cliff, but it doesn't matter. If an opponent touches your figure, then they're cheating, and they should be above that sort of thing! On the other hand, YOU want to win, right?

8 Cheat!

Yeah, hell with it! Just cheat!

I hope these steps can bring you closer to victory at your next heroscape tournament!

-E

(Parody)

Good Traders: Just_a_Bill, Wind Lane, Steiner, Hilo-scaper, tdavid6
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  #2  
Old August 10th, 2008, 04:07 PM
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CheddarLimbo CheddarLimbo is offline
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

My name is CheddarLimbo and I approve this message.


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  #3  
Old August 10th, 2008, 04:38 PM
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

To add on to this, make sure your opponent's dice go off the table whenever possible.
Great post!

Bloody the Marro Stinger is the Chimeran Ravager in the....
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  #4  
Old August 10th, 2008, 04:47 PM
Onacara Onacara is offline
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

Disclaimer: The OP has never won a tournament in his life.
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  #5  
Old August 10th, 2008, 04:52 PM
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Eckels Eckels is offline
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

so true!

...still got that woo though.

Good Traders: Just_a_Bill, Wind Lane, Steiner, Hilo-scaper, tdavid6
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Old August 10th, 2008, 04:52 PM
Onacara Onacara is offline
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eckels View Post
so true!

...still got that woo though.
Thats cause the guy in front of you took the Nakitas pack...
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  #7  
Old August 10th, 2008, 05:07 PM
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Agent of Vydar Agent of Vydar is offline
 
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

Why don't the losers just bring Major Q9, Raelin, Krav Maga, 4th Mass, and Deathreavers?

http://www.heroscapers.com/community...191#post646191 Check out my Epic Battles! Vote for Samurai Showdown or Northern Outpost!
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  #8  
Old August 10th, 2008, 05:18 PM
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

LMAO!!


"Hahahah! You losers! I told you so!!"
~Clancampbell
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  #9  
Old August 10th, 2008, 05:55 PM
Rifier_Ace Rifier_Ace is offline
 
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

: That was 'Frickin hilarious'. I wish I could give more than just one rep hit. I will have to use my rep up quick so it will be hard to forget to give you more.
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  #10  
Old August 10th, 2008, 06:24 PM
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

I reserve the right to slap any guys that do any of this at GenCon.

R~

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  #11  
Old August 10th, 2008, 06:33 PM
Karkadinn Karkadinn is offline
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

if you're losing all the time anyway, draft an army with improbable chances of success. Runa, Deathwalker 7K, and Dund, or something like that. That way, if you lose yet again, it's clearly the fault of the army and not through any lack of strategic thinking on your part. But if you win, you'll be considering a Heroscape genius. if you've got nothing left to lose, might as well up the stakes....

Professional fiction
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To Ne-Gok-Sa
Like dating women
Statistics doom your players
Till they get lucky

Last edited by Karkadinn; August 10th, 2008 at 10:00 PM.
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  #12  
Old August 10th, 2008, 07:04 PM
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Onion Knight Onion Knight is offline
 
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Re: A Loser's Guide to Winning Tournaments

Hilarious!
I did my fair share of rule #1 yesterday against Gulp.
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