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#241
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
Why is a bees hair sticky?
Spoiler Alert!
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#242
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
There was a captain sailing on the sea during a battle. His servant came up to him and the captain said, "bring me my red shirt". So, the servant did as the captain said. After that the servant came up to the captain and said, Why did you say bring me my red shirt"? The captain said, "Well if i get shot they won't see the blood. The next day the servant came up to the captain and said, "There are 50 ships on the horizon." The captain said, "Bring me my brown pants." |
#243
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.” The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.“ The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.” |
#244
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised. |
#245
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Two men are brought into a room, a mathematician and an engineer. Then a beautiful woman is set at the other end of the room. A man says to the mathematician and engineer, "You can have the women, but only if you can cross the room by walking half the distance between you and the women each time you began to move." The mathematician, dejectedly, hangs his head and leaves the room, for he knows that it is mathematically impossible to pass the challenge. The engineer smiles broadly and boldly strode across the room to the girl, for he knows he can round up.
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#246
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Spoiler Alert!
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#247
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?” “Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned. “Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?” |
#248
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
Two thugs walked into a Mexican bank and demanded that the teller hand over all she had. “No comprendo” (I don’t understand) was her innocent response. Unsure of how to proceed, one of the thugs held out his gun and screamed “anyone hear speak Spanish?” Hesitantly, a young man approached. With his gun to the teller’s head, the thug had his now interpreter demand of the teller “hand over all the money you have!” “I have none” was her nervous response. “It’s all locked up!” “Ask her where the key is!” the thug demanded the interpreter, now with his gun even closer to the teller’s head. “It’s in the bottom right drawer!” responded the teller immediately. “She said she will not tell you where the key is, and you can even pull the trigger on her!” Responded the greedy interpreter |
#249
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Spoiler Alert!
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#250
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
Waiting hungrily on the lunch line, I eyed the hamburgers being served. Upon reaching the front of the line I asked, “excuse me, can I please have two burgers.” “You’ll get the same as everybody else,” the lady said in a bored voice. After hungrily eating my lunch, I walked to the garbage to throw out my plate, but I accidentally dropped my lunch tray in the garbage along with it. While I was digging in the garbage for my tray I felt a tap on my shoulder. “I’m sorry sonny” the lady said in a horror-stricken voice, “ here is another burger.”… |
#251
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Joke of the Day
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas. ~Paula Poundstone |
#252
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Re: The Joke Thread, new jokes everyday!
Ancient Chinese Proverb:
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, while man who runs behind car gets exhausted. |
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