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  #61  
Old March 28th, 2019, 07:38 PM
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
I always fear fluent readers when using other languages, as I often resort to Google Translate.

~TAF
I originally used Google Translate... Bigga informed me the samurai was talking about robots and what not...



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #62  
Old April 8th, 2019, 01:02 PM
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Chapter Thirty-Eight - Resistance is now live! Stuck on Valhalla, about to participate in a mission which could be his death, Dan learns the true reason he was a prisoner of the soulborgs.



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #63  
Old April 9th, 2019, 02:02 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Chapter Thirty-Nine - Departure is now live! Dan and his companions finally embark on their quest. New revelations come to light, but will they spell doom for the mission?



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #64  
Old April 10th, 2019, 03:59 PM
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Chapter Forty - Horizon is now live, quickly followed by Chapter Forty-One - Caius! Dan and the others fight their first battle, and Laelia confronts the traitor she has sworn to kill. But will she survive?



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #65  
Old April 10th, 2019, 04:09 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

I'll be gone Thursday through Saturday, so posting will resume on Sunday or Monday. Don't forget to offer criticism/comments!



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #66  
Old April 10th, 2019, 05:59 PM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

I am in the process of catching up and will likely have done so by the time you resume posting. I'll leave my thoughts upon completion.

~TAF, always trailing behind
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  #67  
Old April 13th, 2019, 02:06 AM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is offline
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

I am once again caught up and am glad to see my favorite character Francois returning for the remake. I am curious to see how the story goes, especially from the shifting balance of having very few characters to having a lot fo them. There are, what, 10 named characters in the party? That's a lot to balance.

I will say one of the qualities of this retelling is that while being very similar to the original, it is also different enough that I have no idea where it is going or how it will end, keeping prior readers invested.

~TAF
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  #68  
Old April 14th, 2019, 09:16 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAverageFan View Post
I am once again caught up and am glad to see my favorite character Francois returning for the remake. I am curious to see how the story goes, especially from the shifting balance of having very few characters to having a lot fo them. There are, what, 10 named characters in the party? That's a lot to balance.

I will say one of the qualities of this retelling is that while being very similar to the original, it is also different enough that I have no idea where it is going or how it will end, keeping prior readers invested.

~TAF
One of my regrets is that I did not include as many of the original companions as I wanted. I started developing side characters, and before I knew it, everyone was a human. Ah well. I'm glad your favorite character found a place in the tale, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on how the balancing act is going, since this is the first time I've really dealt with side characters on a mentionable level. Things only get thicker from here.



But now, onward with the posting. We have Chapter Forty-Two - Dissension, quickly followed by Chapter Forty-Three - Decision. Not to be confused by the similar titles. Chapter 43 is one I was really looking forward to writing, as it adds even more character development into the already-full mire of private agendas going on.



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #69  
Old April 15th, 2019, 12:42 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

And now we have Chapter Forty-Four - Attack, one of the longer chapters. After this, we have three chapters left until the fourth and final part of Dan's tale. Get ready!



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #70  
Old April 16th, 2019, 03:00 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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Blog Entries: 35
The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Chapter Forty-Five - Healing is now live! As the company recovers and prepares to do what they came here for, hope fades quickly, and despair threatens to engulf them all. How will they be able to fight the resistance they are sure to face?



Also, there are several breaks in the chapters, extra lines between paragraphs indicating pauses or passages of time. Unfortunately, these do not get copied over during posting. There isn't much I can do about it, so for now, a few transitions will seem a bit choppy. I'll use other separators in the future.



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #71  
Old April 17th, 2019, 01:35 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Chapter Forty-Six - Line is now live! Everything Dan has done and heard in Valhalla has been building towards one point, and that moment is now upon him.



~TGRF.

<Installment One (Title Pending)> - Phase 4 (Main Plot) Underway...
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  #72  
Old April 18th, 2019, 12:34 PM
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The Grim Reaper's Friend The Grim Reaper's Friend is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness The Grim Reaper's Friend wears ripped pants of awesomeness
Re: Horizon in Sight: Dan's Tale

Chapter Forty-Seven - Escape is now live! Part three comes to an end, and Dan must now hope that the side he's chosen is the right one. But everything is happening much faster than he expected, and even Valhalla itself seems to be changing for the worse...



If convenient, I'd like to know how I'm doing. Particularly in chapter forty-three, where I worked hard on making the dialogue natural. I'm aware some of the other dialogue isn't great, but I really narrowed down on certain ones and tried to make them sound natural. I'd like to know how I did.



~TGRF.

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