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  #673  
Old December 4th, 2018, 10:03 PM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Awesome to see this thread still going and that some things never change
Funny stuff!
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  #674  
Old December 6th, 2018, 05:32 PM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Man unknowingly buys 4,000-year-old pottery at flea market, uses it as toothbrush holder. Knowing its importance, now used it as a pencil holder.

Amazon robot sprays 54 workers with bear repellent. Bad news: the Android uprising has begun. Good news: as we flee into the wilderness, at least we won't be eaten by bears.


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  #675  
Old January 14th, 2019, 12:01 PM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Walmart bans woman who rode cart while drinking wine from a Pringles can. Um... er... I don't know what to add. Just another night at Wally's?


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  #676  
Old February 2nd, 2019, 09:46 AM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

World War I grenade found in shipment of potatoes headed to Hong Kong. Now that's what I call a "loaded baked potato!"

Volunteers face prison after leaving food and water in desert where migrants died. I'm sure the food in prison isn't much better.

Timber! Man charged with insurance fraud for 'fake fall' at work. They threw him out of a 20-story building to show him what a real fall looks like.

Spooky abandoned city of identical castles. It takes forever to rescue the princess.

When it's this cold, Chicago sets its train tracks on fire. I suppose that's better than setting fire to the dining car.

U.S. Special Ops suicides triple in 2018, as military confronts the issue by putting suicidal people in front of a firing squad.

'Friends' star was so broke he did his own dental work. Too bad he's not in my insurance's network, because I need a cavity filled.

Judge considers gag order in Roger Stone case. Try the food in prison. That would make anyone gag.

She grew up in a community where women rule and men are banned: Bon Aqua.

Case of mistaken identity leads sister to withdraw life support for a man who wasn't her brother, lawsuit claims. So the police arrested a different woman in another case of mistaken identity and sentenced her to 20 years.

Jussie Smottett breaks silence after his reported attack, in a clear violation of his Miranda rights.

German post offices will convert customers' mail into email. I hope they don't try to convert cola into E coli.

13 great places to celebrate Lunar New Year. Coming in at Number 1: the Moon!

Human 'hot pot' in China invites new year tourist to take a dip. Has cannibalism gone too far?
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  #677  
Old February 2nd, 2019, 10:10 AM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Punxsutawney Phil doesn’t see his shadow, end of winter in sight? And in other news, Dave didn't see his shadow and makes his triumphant return to Heroscapers!


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  #678  
Old February 2nd, 2019, 11:05 AM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Quote:
Originally Posted by mac122 View Post
Punxsutawney Phil doesn’t see his shadow, end of winter in sight? And in other news, Dave didn't see his shadow and makes his triumphant return to Heroscapers!
You've been doing a great job keeping this going. I can't believe some of the headlines you've found, as they are almost as funny as your add-ons. I'm skimming around this thread, and I'm pretty pleased at how well the items we've posted still hold up after all this time.
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  #679  
Old February 21st, 2019, 03:38 PM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Dave's back! And I notice he's from Bon Aqua.
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  #680  
Old February 22nd, 2019, 04:34 PM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Statue vandals seem to have mistaken WWII hero for Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee, museum officials say. Those who don't know their history are doomed to ignite it.

Texas mom claims teacher gave her son ‘Dumb and Dumber-‘style haircut. If the "do" fits...

Zion Williamson urged to shut down and look toward NBA: 'College is bull----' -horn? -etin? -seye? -dogs? What are you trying to say?????


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  #681  
Old August 19th, 2019, 02:41 PM
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Beer recalled due to 'risk of explosion,' brewery says it's still 'completely safe to drink'. Something new from Burt's Beer, @davidlhsl ?

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth may never get back together after this happened
. What a lucky guy!

Wisconsin family says live frog found in packaged salad greens. At least you know the greens were fresh.

Florida vacation home overrun by vomiting, pooping vultures. Hmmm... sounds like they may have gotten into the beer.


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Last edited by IAmBatman; September 21st, 2019 at 10:39 PM.
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  #682  
Old October 4th, 2019, 10:50 AM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror...Miley Cyrus says she's back in the studio and feeling 'inspired'. Well, that explains it.


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  #683  
Old October 9th, 2019, 11:00 AM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

North Dakota man, 21, pleads guilty to trying to kill woman he thought was a witch. "She turned me into a newt!"

Scientists find more stars with this mystifying behavior. It's called "tweeting" and I am mystified that so many people pay attention to it.


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  #684  
Old January 14th, 2020, 05:38 PM
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Re: News Headline Add-Ons

Kansas man asks judge to let him engage in sword fight with ex-wife, her lawyer. I really don't have anything to add, just felt compelled to share this.

Edit: Maybe, "Wife agrees after introducing
Oda Nobunaga Oda Nobunaga
as new head of legal team.


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