Parenting Q (Mature Video Games)

[A_Train]

Hey,

It was my son's 12th birthday party tonight, he had a few other boys his age over for the night. One of them brought a Halo game, and they were all familiar with it but my son. My son isn't allowed to play Mature titles, and definitely not allowed playing online, which was what they were intending to do. I had to tell them that every parent can make their own rules, but here they wouldn't be playing mature titles.

Am I being incredibly un-cool? I always thought I was pretty easy going as a parent, andmy son plays his fair share of Teen rated game, but he hasn't been allowed to play any Matures, or any first person shooters for that matter.

I'd like to get input from fellow parents on here, as well as opinions of any members who weren't 12 that long ago on whether or not they were playing Halo games when they were 11 or so.

[rednax]

Originally Posted by A_Train

as well as opinions of any members who weren't 12 that long ago

How bout members who are 12 right now?

I only play mature games at my cousin's house, and the games I play there, really aren't too gorey, either. We play Call of Duty World at War (usually just Nazi Zombies, it's one thing shooting people, shooting is cool).

Anyways, I think it really depends on the game. I've never played Halo before, but you've got to make a call as a parent on whether or not it's too violent (or anything else). Think to yourself, "Would I let him see a movie that violent?" Also, if you do decide to let him play a shooting game, be sure to remind him that death is not funny (unless it's the death of ).

Personally, I've never felt bad about shooting games. If you replaced the people you're shooting at with targets, or deer, or something else like that, I would still play it. Most people who play violent games don't play them because they like killing people, but because they like testing their reflexes, trying to improve, and playing with their friends.

Honestly, it's your call. I'm sure you'll do the right thing.

~Rednax, who would never let his parents be that un-cool at his house, mainly because I don't have idiot friends who bring M-rated games to my house without my parent's permission

[ABOMINATION]

I don't think you're being un-cool as far as banning certain games, but Halo 3 is definately not as gory as the M rating hints at. About as bad as a T game, really. Actually, I think that CoD 3 is more graphic, and that's a T.

Also, if you're nervous about him playing online because of the language, just let him play without headphones and avert the whole problem.

So, I would say Halo 3 is very mild and you wouldn't have to be uncomfortable with him playing. Still, maybe you should watch him a few times playing some games to make sure you feel ok with it.

[rednax]

Maybe the opinions of two kids are a little biased...

[tubafication]

Just a note: If you want a parents opinion. Stop reading here.

From my experience, which is low in parenting, but in knowing kids on both ends of the spectrum, I have good experience.
Your child will take it one of two ways, if he's concerned with what people think of him, like most teens/12 year olds, then he may not favor your opinion and may cause some playing at friend's houses. There are many children however who take it as a fact of life. So whether or not it's being "uncool" is mostly up to the child. It will not hurt his social status, or will hurt it in a small amount. His friends will probably say either "Awww, that stinks." or "C'mon, it's just CoD..."

I, personally, do not think that any FPS's are going to hurt him emotionally or personality wise. Do I think you should let him? No, I don't think so. I think if you have the icky feeling in the pit of your stomach about letting him. Then you should not let him. Wait a year or two then see how you feel about it. Then maybe edge into the whole FPS/M games by starting simple with a game like Battlefield 1943 (a low chat, no blood, T game, an FPS ,and won't glue him to the TV all day.), and after you've edged in, it won't seem like such a large step, and it won't be his life after that.

Just my young 14 year old opinion.

[Onacara]

A-Train as long as you are consistant then there shouldnt be an issue. Some parents just dont care..they are easy to spot ..they are the ones with their 10 year old at the R rated movie. I have played Halo and it isnt as violent as some other games but no M games means no M games and you should stand your ground. The tough part is not making your son look "bad" in front of his friends...which isn't easy some times.

[ProtoFury]

My parents did the same thing--in fact, they still don't approve of M rated games or R rated movies, and I'm not allowed to play them or wach them in our house (I'm living at home while staying a college).

I think it's terribly uncool of my parents, but I have to hand it to them--they know what they stand for. I also know what I stand for, however, I'm a little more lax in the games/movies/music department.

As much as I can't believe I'm saying this, stick with your initial decision. Yeah, your son may catch some heck for it, but I can honestly say I've turned out just fine, no worse for the lack of Halo or the Terminator (although things have eased up in the past couple years, as I figured they would).

And if his friends give him heck for it, he doesn't have to openly say why he can't go see a certain movie or play a certain game. Any excuse will do, he doesn't have to always say "my parents won't let me". As my parents always said to me--

"Just because your friends don't complain about things at their house doesn't mean they don't have things to complain about. This is our decision, and whether you agree or not, you live in our house. Your friends don't have to know that, just know that is what we expect of you."

--or something along those lines.

However, I probably will be more lenient with my kids than my parents were with me. Not like they'll be watching rated R movies at 10, but as they grow up, I'll give them more responsibility.

So if you feel that letting your son play those games or whatever is okay, and that you think he can handle it, by all means, let him play. But don't make the decision just because you don't want to be "uncool". At some point or another, in some respect, every parent is "uncool" to their kids--but that's kids being kids. If you really thin that you should keep your son out of those games and such, stick to it.

That's my two cents.

[CheddarLimbo]

I think you're being un-cool, but I also think that, as parents, being un-cool is part of our job. Good on you for making the decision and sticking to your guns.

[Ranior]

Well I've just hit 18, and went through this whole process for some time.

When I had an N64 while I was young, I wasn't allowed to have any Teen games at all. That went on till I was about 11.

Around 11 I got a PS2, with some Teen games. Around this time I started watching PG13 movies as well. (Mainly because both me and my father really wanted to go see LOTR. After reading the books and loving them, we both wanted to go see the movies. He had read the Hobbit to me and it was a cool time to go...but now I'm way off topic.)

So I played T games for quite some time and eventually around 14 I started wanting to play some M games. A lot of my friends played Halo, and when they came over my parents always made sure to tell my friends that they couldn't bring any M games. Luckily, my friends were very cool with it, and even though I was a little frustrated with it, I did understand.

Sometime around 15 my friends were planning an all day Halo party. My parents until this point, had not allowed me to play an M game or watch R movies. After researching how Halo multiplayer was a fairly "low" M, they allowed me to play. That Christmas, when I had just turned 16 I got a PS3, and some M games. Around that time I was allowed to watch R movies as well.

And after playing many more M games and watching a lot of R movies...I totally understand why my parents put the regulations they did on me. Occasionally they had to be uncool and not let me go somewhere to play...but in the end it really was for the best. Although your kid might not like it ATrain, you're doing what's right. There is no need or reason for a young kid to be playing M games or watching R movies. Give him a few more years.

Now good luck getting your kid to understand though...how my parents helped me through it...I don't quite know. Although making the expectations very clear about no M games or R movies at our house, and telling that to all my friends probably helped. That way at least no one expected that and had to interfere.

[Claws of Death]

I'm no parent, but I know that you don't need to worry about him playing halo. The most violent thing in the game is the flood transformations, and those don't have any gore involved.

Just make sure you don't let someone bring over Gears of War 2 if he or you is sensitive to extreme violence. That game is possibly the most gruesome game I've ever played. It's almost vomit-inducing how violent it can be.

[MI_Tiger]

Originally Posted by A_Train

Am I being incredibly un-cool?

Yes, you are being incredibly un-cool and good for you! As a parent, your job isn't to be cool or to be your kid's best friend, it is to raise your child according to the set of standards and morals that you set. You have to make hard decisions, and unfortunately, those decisions will not always be popular with your children.

Make sure you have good reasons for your rules, and then stick to them. Be reassured that you're doing the right thing.

Keep up the good work - the world needs many more parents who care enough to be un-cool.

- MI_Tiger (father of 3)

[Warlord Alpha]

I think that just saying "No T-rated games or absolutely no M-rated games" isn't the best way to go about it. I think it should be taken on a kind of case-by-case basis.

For example, Halo 3 ODST is rated M, but the only thing bad I can think of in there is some blood. The whole game is running around shooting aliens with a bunch of weapons that don't exist. It really isn't bad at all, some T-rated games are worse.

Some M-rated games, on the other hand, have disgusting amounts of gore and sex and drugs and swearing and all kinds of things.

And this is all on the back of the box. Where it gives the ratings it says whether or not it has blood and gore or language or whatever.

As for the online issue, your skepticism is well founded. It can get pretty bad sometimes, such as "name calling" . However, I know that in Halo 3 there is a "mute all" option. At that point you might as well be playing against (and with) the computer. I bet other games have something like that as well.


I would say just to know the game a little bit more than just knowing a letter on the box before saying yes or no. Some M-rated games are nowhere near as bad as other M-rated games, the same goes with T.