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  #25  
Old August 26th, 2016, 08:28 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

I give you the first result of my personal challenge: Nerak/Heartbroken (Basically no title).
Spoiler Alert!

Technically this could be a spin-off from my Heart of Vengeance fan fiction. Technically there is no reason it shouldn't be. And technically it isn't related at all, but...

I'm considering Migol/Nemesis for my next story, though nothing is set in stone yet.

~TGRF.

Last edited by TGRF; August 28th, 2016 at 07:56 PM.
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  #26  
Old August 27th, 2016, 01:22 AM
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William099 William099 is offline
the above
 
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

APPLAUSE! That was very well done TRGF!

Customs here
Master Set IV/Assault in the Mournlands.
William099 is Lord of Blades...
in THE FRACTAL COMPLEX
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  #27  
Old August 27th, 2016, 01:38 AM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

Quote:
Originally Posted by William099 View Post
APPLAUSE! That was very well done TRGF!
I liked the way it turned out, especially considering it had bare-bones development and was written in about two hours. Something about these orcs seems to be turning out well...

~TGRF.
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  #28  
Old August 27th, 2016, 01:42 AM
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William099 William099 is offline
the above
 
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper's Friend View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by William099 View Post
APPLAUSE! That was very well done TRGF!
I liked the way it turned out, especially considering it had bare-bones development and was written in about two hours. Something about these orcs seems to be turning out well...

~TGRF.
For sure

Customs here
Master Set IV/Assault in the Mournlands.
William099 is Lord of Blades...
in THE FRACTAL COMPLEX
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  #29  
Old August 28th, 2016, 01:52 AM
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

That was EXACTLY the kind of story that I had in my mind when I suggested it! That was amazing! There were only a few things that I noticed were a little off like you used first person randomly in the middle one time, and the idea that without a male orc the females are completely defenseless was a bit odd but also helped carry the story along so it's not really that big of a deal. I read it to my wife and she absolutely loved it and wants me to make a custom Alerra (Which connects to an idea I already had for a Mammoth riding female orc that classifies as a Beast with warrior boosts and platforms for Arrow Gruts to ride on that sparked the suggestion for Nerak and heartbroken) I spend a lot of time daydreaming about potential heroscape stuff. My wife said you are a very good writer and she likes how you didn't necessarily explain Alerra's fate and she is going to assume that she lives. Well done! I can't wait for the next one!
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  #30  
Old August 28th, 2016, 07:48 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

Quote:
Originally Posted by darius23__14 View Post
That was EXACTLY the kind of story that I had in my mind when I suggested it! That was amazing! There were only a few things that I noticed were a little off like you used first person randomly in the middle one time, and the idea that without a male orc the females are completely defenseless was a bit odd but also helped carry the story along so it's not really that big of a deal. I read it to my wife and she absolutely loved it and wants me to make a custom Alerra (Which connects to an idea I already had for a Mammoth riding female orc that classifies as a Beast with warrior boosts and platforms for Arrow Gruts to ride on that sparked the suggestion for Nerak and heartbroken) I spend a lot of time daydreaming about potential heroscape stuff. My wife said you are a very good writer and she likes how you didn't necessarily explain Alerra's fate and she is going to assume that she lives. Well done! I can't wait for the next one!
Why thank you! I'm glad you and your wife liked it! Where was the first person switch? I completely missed that.

~TGRF, with an awesome idea for Migol/Nemesis.
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  #31  
Old August 28th, 2016, 07:52 PM
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TheAverageFan TheAverageFan is online now
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

I believe this may be it, although it's not a first person switch so much as you forgot a quotation mark:

Quote:
“So you seek the veratan,” he said, grinning evilly. I am prepared to part with them, but only for a very steep price. Give us your catch, your armor, and your weapons, and we will release them. Then you may go your way.”
~TAF

TAF was the Storyteller...
in THE ENEMY'S LAST RETREAT

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  #32  
Old August 28th, 2016, 08:36 PM
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

"I say tried, because Nerak stopped her, and held her at arm’s length."

I understand that this is a narrative but the moment you used "I" it broke the flow of the story and I was curious who it is that is recounting this story. Does that make sense? But other than that, again it was fantastic!
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  #33  
Old August 28th, 2016, 08:54 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

Quote:
Originally Posted by darius23__14 View Post
"I say tried, because Nerak stopped her, and held her at arm’s length."

I understand that this is a narrative but the moment you used "I" it broke the flow of the story and I was curious who it is that is recounting this story. Does that make sense? But other than that, again it was fantastic!
That's something that I used to do before I learned how to write. Once I learned about breaking the narrative, that habit kind of faded away. Every now and then though, I will relapse into what I call the Former English Style, where authors like E. Nesbit would speak directly to the reader and explain things (Five Children and It might not strictly speaking follow that, but there's a whole style back then that did).

~TGRF.
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  #34  
Old August 29th, 2016, 02:07 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

I'm changing this a bit, because while I want to write on Saturday, I'd still like to let the story sit and then edit it after a day or two. So instead of posting on Saturday, I will be posting around the Tuesday/Wednesday area. Starting next week.

~TGRF.
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  #35  
Old September 3rd, 2016, 04:31 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
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TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

Writing has begun on the Migol/Nemesis story. I'd say it could probably be released on Monday or Tuesday.

Also, I have finally completed the development to Code 4114, which involved the entire project very nearly falling to a BSOD which came out of nowhere (BSOD in the development, that is, not the actual computer). The outline is now completed and awaiting details. I might be able to begin the writing this week, in which case I will be delaying the writing of any weekly challenges until that is complete.

~TGRF.
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  #36  
Old September 5th, 2016, 01:44 PM
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TGRF TGRF is offline
He should definitely get that. (#4)
 
Join Date: September 19, 2010
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TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla TGRF is inducted into the Halls of Valhalla
Re: Personal Challenge: TGRF

I've completed the Migol/Nemesis story, and will be posting it probably sometime tomorrow, once I've read through it once or twice and edited it to my satisfaction.

~TGRF.
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