The War for Marr (Disscussion Thread - post only here)

[D-Dyzzle]

This thread is a discussion of my fan fic "The War for Marr". this is the discussion thread only. it was the original thread and contains the first 7 or eight battles. the war itself is here:

http://heroscapers.com/community/showthread.php?t=3003

plz dont post in the thread the link goes to. only post here. thnx.


On a planet far away, there were hidious evil beings. Nothing was knowen of them, except there nature of being something you dont want to be around. The planet was Marr and the Marro Ruled it with an evil grip. There was also another kind of creature. There snake like features lead them to be unmistakable. They were vipers. Although primitive they had a leader. A leader of a rebelion, who knew the Marro were evil. The Marro Empire and the Viper Rebellion were on the verge of war. The war for Marr.

Battle I

A skirmish has risen between the vipers and the marro on marr. The Marro and the vipers were allways in disagreement. The Marro had thought little of the vipers power, even after they rose against the Raptorians. The two sides had had enough of eachother. The Marro had treked onto a sacred viper land. The first battle was here. And the war has begun.

The Battlefield: Viper territory: The Venoc memorial (Built in reconition of the viper rebellion against the Raptorians)

The Viper Rebellion Army:
The Venoc Warlord (Leader of the viper Rebellion)
Elite Onyx Vipers
Venoc Vipers X2

The Marro Empire Army:
Ne-Gok-Sa (Second in command of the Marro Empire)
Marro Warriors
Marro Drones X2


The vipers strike first. The Venoc Warlord sends his first wave of vipers. Their frenzy and rage takes them across the battlefield.



They make an attack and kill a drone.




A few of the drones receive telepathic orders from Ne-Gok-Sa to attack the vipers.



Two die.



The last viper of the first wave strikes a drone but fails.



Reinforcements from the second wave make a break to help their companion.



Two drones move out to stop the viper reinforcements while one stays behind to kill the last viper.




The rest of the vipers’ second wave is sent. A drone is killed.





A band of drones moves in and surrounds the first part of the second wave.



They kill the vipers.



The last viper of the second wave makes an assault.



It kills a drone, its rage for its fallen brothers leads it to kill more.




The final drone kills the viper.



The Venoc warlord felt out matched. In reality the battle was close.




Regardless he sends his final wave. The Elite Onyx Vipers. They frenzy to the final drone. And kill it.




Ne-Gok-Sa sends the big guns. He sends his Marro Warriors.



They attempt to kill the elites but they’re just too evasive. The vipers move in to kill the warriors.



One sneaks up the bridge and kills one from behind.



The warriors try to get to the vipers and use melee to kill them. One’s not so evasive this time.



The remaining vipers are mad. They kill the last warriors.



Ne-Gok-Sa comes down and kills a viper.



A viper makes a break for Ne-Gok-Sa, but fails to make a wound. Ne-Gok-Sa kills.




The Venoc Warlord sees the time for the dual.



And the dual comes. The two engage in a battle. They fight furiously. The battle leaned in the favor of the Venoc Warlord. But when Ne-Gok-Sa was on the edge of death, Me-Burq-Sa arrived with reinforcements.




The warlord retreated. And the Marro won the first battle of the Marro Viper War.



To be continued…

[Rhydderch]

Hey Dyzzle: Cool report. I like the pics! And its always good to tell the battle in a story.

Try to take some more pics from a distance though so people know what the overall battle looks like. Some more text detail would help too. For instance above the picture of the vipers you could have the squad info:

Venoc Army:
Venoc Warlord
Elite Onyx Vipers
Venoc Vipers (2)

Do the same for the Marro. If you wish you could also add to the flavor by writing about each army. Why they're there, what they intend to use as their strategy, etc.

Other than those tips the main suggestion I have is to add a bit more detailed text for us to follow, and to look at some other battle reports and figure out what you like or dislike about them.

[LilNewbie]

Thanks for posting the battle report! Nice job and enjoyed reading/looking at the pictures. The War for Marr continues!

[D-Dyzzle]

Thank yall for the compliments and advice. Its little words like that that make me feel welcome to the site. Well now that i know at least two people are interested ill get to work on the second battle.

I added a little background story to the war, and to this battle, as i will each battle. I hope yall enjoy the story of the Marro war!!!

[LilNewbie]

A lot of people will read your reports but won't post. It would be nice for everyone to give feedback but it's not gonna happen. It's a normal part of forums.

[D-Dyzzle]

Originally Posted by LilNewbie

A lot of people will read your reports but won't post. It would be nice for everyone to give feedback but it's not gonna happen. It's a normal part of forums.

oh ok. i did notice a lot of people had veiwed it. but still its nice to receive a responce.

[Fallen Templar]

Originally Posted by LilNewbie

A lot of people will read your reports but won't post. It would be nice for everyone to give feedback but it's not gonna happen. It's a normal part of forums.

yea look at the custom forum great report though

[Su-Bak-Na]

I thought the vipers where going to win oh well I sopose not. By the way did you play this game by your self.

[D-Dyzzle]

Originally Posted by Su-Bak-Na

I thought the vipers where going to win oh well I sopose not. By the way did you play this game by your self.

Well yeah. But its not really a battle but, more like fan fiction. I wasnt sure weather to put it in fan fiction or battle report, so i flipped a coin. I think it shuold be in fan fiction now though. I think more people read battle reports though.

[daevablacc]

Just wanted to let you know I read your post. Fun stuff.

[D-Dyzzle]

Battle II

The Marro are in outrage at the rebellious acts of the vipers. Now they take their revenge. The Venoc warlord is still in hiding. But, Me-Burq-Sa leads a campaign to the vipers’ land.

The Battlefield: Viper Territory: The Venoc Mainland (First known viper territory)



The Viper Rebellion Army:
Elite Onyx Vipers
Armnoc Vipers
Venoc Vipers X2



The Marro Empire Army:
Me-Burq-Sa (Third in command of the Marro Empire)
Marro Warriors
Marro Drones X2




The Marro made the first blow this time. They send in a swarm of Marro Drones.



The river and distance stops them from getting to the vipers. But the vipers slither through the water and strike down two drones.




Another Drone swarm attacks the vipers, the deaths are multiple.




Now the Armnoc vipers attack. They to have the skill of swimming through the water with ease. The vipers have the advantage this battle.




The Drones still press their attack. But this battle is coming to a quick end. No vipers die.



Seeing the Drones’ death, the Elites press on to make an attack on Me-Burq-Sa.



Seeing the Attack, Me-Burq-Sa opens fire. His daunting stare does him good.




The Armnoc vipers finish off the last two drones.



The Marro Warriors move in to attack the elites. But they’re too evasive to be wounded.



The battle is not going well for the Marro.



Seeing this Me-Burq-Sa calls back all forces. The vipers win this battle. But the war was not over.



The Vipers won this battle. The water gave them the edge they needed. But Marr is not a water planet. Who will win the War?

To be continued…

[D-Dyzzle]

Originally Posted by daevablacc

Just wanted to let you know I read your post. Fun stuff.

thanx