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  #1  
Old December 18th, 2006, 11:32 AM
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***Custom Creator of the Week - 12/17 - Pug***

Each week one custom creator will be drawn at random from the A-Z CustomScapers Index*. This creator will be in the spotlight for an entire week. This gives them the opportunity to showcase up to 5 of their customs for the rest of the community to critique. They will be given a Stickied Thread for a week to showcase their chosen customs. The aim of this project is to get more people involved in the custom creation process and to help each other become better customs makers. The more we help each other out, the better custom creators we become.

This week's Custom Creator in the Spotlight is:
PUG


His 5 Chosen Customs are:
Included are 2 rules cards









*Do you make custom units? See the A-Z CustomScapers Index to find out how to be put your name on the list so you can be considered for the Custom Creator of the Week.[/quote]
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  #2  
Old December 18th, 2006, 05:54 PM
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Selena Cas - So, I'm going to talk about the figures abilities and the pocket dimension at the same time. As it is written right now, I don't see how this can work. Let me tell you the picture that I'm getting as I read over the cards, and maybe you can point out something that I'm missing. I'll bold all my questions for easy reference.

Building the Pocket Dimension...
Ok, so the pocket dimension is 48 stone tiles. Are the tiles all perfectly flat? Can there be changes in elevation? Who builds the pocket dimension? I'm assuming that the entrance and exit are placed by the player controling Selena. Ok, so lets assume now I've correctly built my pocket dimension.

Getting to the pocket Dimension...
Ok, so the wording on Teleport Aura needs a little cleaning up. As it is worded right now, the ability always goes off before Selena moves, and she is always teleported there. Is this ability supposed to be optional? It seems like she should have a choice if she wants to activate it or not, since on her first turn, she is likely just to get herself and a bunch of her allies. Of course, this could be beneficial, since depending on where the exit glyph is, it might let them move across the board easier. Either way, the ability seems like it should be optional. Also, what if more than one figure gets teleported? Where do they go, since there is only one entrance? From the reading, it sounds like once one person travels there, the ability stops working, since it is then occupied by a non-inhabitant. Does it keep working until everyone has rolled and Selena herself is teleported? I'm assuming that the teleport aura can get more than one person, since I don't quite see the point if it only gets one.

Balance issues...
While I think the idea is cool, I do think that it has some major balance issues. Assuming I can get more than one person in this dimension at a time. What if our starting zones are 30 spaces apart, and I build my pocket dimension 30 spaces long. Then I take Theracus and fly Selena into the opposing start zone before most of them have moved. I teleport half their army or so (plus Selena and possibly Theracus) into this pocked dimension, and the exit glyph would make them pop out in my start zone. I park a guy on the exit, and proceed to beat down the half of my opponents army with the most of my army that remains on the board. Then, when I've grabbed all the glyphs and height, I step off the exit point and proceed to beat down the other half of my opponents army as they walk out of the dimension one by one.

Or better yet, I just make my pocket dimension one hex wide and 48 hexes long. Now every figure that I teleport there has to walk 48 spaces to get out. That would essentially take them out of the game, since there is no way anyone would put that many markers on a figure that won't be able to attack.

I think the idea is kinda cool, but needs more explination and has some serious issues that can be exploited. Either it needs more thought, or I'm just not understanding it correctly, which is very possible.

Temporal Pincher Horror - Sounds good.

Rowan - Forest Stealth 3 needs to say when Rowan can become stealthed. Is it before moving, or can I move next to a tree and become stealthed? Never mind, I see that the timing is on the stealth card.

Stealth has some things I don't understand either.

Stealth
Ok, so I get near a tree and disappear. I place my three markers and can't be attacked. You say on the stealth card that the opponents figures can either stand one space away and use a movement or move onto the marker. If the marker is the figure, where does the figure go? It can't go onto the marker's space, since the enemy just moved there. Actually, now that I'm rereading it, it doesn't say where the stealthed figure reappears at all. I'm assuming that it is on the marker, but I'm not sure.

I'm worried that Rowan doesn't cost enough. If there are trees on the board, then he is going to be throwing 3 double skull attacks at a range of 8 spaces from any tree, and be impossible to hit to boot. But then again, he can only attack like that once for every 2 markers placed on him, so maybe it's not that bad. I'd have to play him to see how he works.



All right, I'm exausted after these three critiques. Sorry if I sound overly critical. The abilities sound cool and provide some interesting battles. I'll try to get to the other two tonight, but I kinda doubt that is going to happen Also, what figures did you use?

I got nuthin...
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  #3  
Old December 18th, 2006, 08:54 PM
Pug Pug is offline
 
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Well, let me start off with a brief explanation of why I chose these cards. I am new to the Scaper scene, and to be honest there are already a lot of good customs out there, and I'm not at the point yet where I just want to create new versions of the same thing (ie, switching around official powers in a new package, etc...). Not that I am against that, but first I wanted to play around with some somewhat unique things. So I chose these cards as they reflected a bit of the somewhat crazy ideas I had. Plus, I figured they would get some chatter, though whether it would be positive or not is another question.

Second, both the stealth and pocket dimension powers would be much better as a rule addendum in .pdf form than on a card, which I was debating doing. I wanted some input first (if I could make things clear enough that is).

Now, onto Bobbo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
Ok, so the pocket dimension is 48 stone tiles. Are the tiles all perfectly flat? Can there be changes in elevation? Who builds the pocket dimension? I'm assuming that the entrance and exit are placed by the player controling Selena. Ok, so lets assume now I've correctly built my pocket dimension.
The pocket dimension is 48 stone tiles. Perhaps I should say spaces, but that's not right either. Basically lay out 48 spaces worth of tiles of any size and build a small board. So 2 of the 24 hex pieces, or 48 singles, or 12 doubles a 6 hex and 18 singles etc... Elevations are fine, do whatever you want, just do it before the game starts and add the entrance(s) or exit(s) at the start. Basically you get to build your own little board and place your inhabitants, entrances, and exits, but you can't change it during the game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
As it is worded right now, the ability always goes off before Selena moves
Boo boo on my part. I meant to write "you may roll the 20-sided...". Editing when I finish this writeup. It is optional.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
Also, what if more than one figure gets teleported? Where do they go, since there is only one entrance? From the reading, it sounds like once one person travels there, the ability stops working, since it is then occupied by a non-inhabitant. Does it keep working until everyone has rolled and Selena herself is teleported? I'm assuming that the teleport aura can get more than one person, since I don't quite see the point if it only gets one.
Getting more people is the intention. Basically, when she activates the power, anyone who gets teleported will go all at once with her as well. Everyone appears relative to where they were from Selena. So if you are adjacent and at 1:30 to Selena, you show up in her pocket dimension adjacent and at 1:30 to Selena. If you are three spaces away at 9:00 to Selena, you show up in her pocket dimension three spaces away at 9:00 to Selena. Selena shows up at one of the pre-placed entrances.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
While I think the idea is cool, I do think that it has some major balance issues. Assuming I can get more than one person in this dimension at a time. What if our starting zones are 30 spaces apart, and I build my pocket dimension 30 spaces long. Then I take Theracus and fly Selena into the opposing start zone before most of them have moved. I teleport half their army or so (plus Selena and possibly Theracus) into this pocked dimension, and the exit glyph would make them pop out in my start zone. I park a guy on the exit, and proceed to beat down the half of my opponents army with the most of my army that remains on the board. Then, when I've grabbed all the glyphs and height, I step off the exit point and proceed to beat down the other half of my opponents army as they walk out of the dimension one by one.
That is the whole point. To trap the opponent in your pocket dimension while the inhabitants beat down on you. That being said, it is way harder to accomplish than it sounds. Maybe I can explain better with your second point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
Or better yet, I just make my pocket dimension one hex wide and 48 hexes long. Now every figure that I teleport there has to walk 48 spaces to get out. That would essentially take them out of the game, since there is no way anyone would put that many markers on a figure that won't be able to attack.
This is great if all the units are stacked in one big column. But since they appear in the Pocket Dimension based on where they are in relation to Selena, they would all need to be in one straight line in the exact direction that your Pocket Dimension faces. And they would all have to roll low enough to teleport. If there is no room for them, they just don't go. My biggest concern with Selena is her ability to move any sized figure (if there is room), so she can get some big hitters out of the game while the cool their heels and fight inhabitants. Which is why she is 3-3. Maybe I should lower that, or make it so she can't teleport while engaged so that you can swarm her, but I want her ability to at least work some times.

Hopefully I have explained this a little better. I think that a little pdf with some pictures showing this working would be infinitely clearer. That being said, you may be right and I should mark up her points. I haven't tested her as much as I would like yet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
Rowan - Forest Stealth 3 needs to say when Rowan can become stealthed. Is it before moving, or can I move next to a tree and become stealthed? Never mind, I see that the timing is on the stealth card.
I don't think I explained it well enough on the stealth card. I think I listed every circumstance where you can't enter stealth and forgot to say, "You can enter stealth whenever you like, other than these situations..." So short answer is, he can stealth whenever he pleases.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
You say on the stealth card that the opponents figures can either stand one space away and use a movement or move onto the marker. If the marker is the figure, where does the figure go?
This is true, you can't move onto the marker if it's the stealthed figure. I should delete that and just let you use a movement to "search" then say if you don't find anything you may move onto that space. Basically, I want the searcher to move onto the space if it doesn't contain the figure if it is beneficial to the searcher to do so. Again, this would be clearer with some sort of .pdf.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
I'm worried that Rowan doesn't cost enough.
To be honest, so am I. I have 1 MS and 1 of each terrain pack, with the exception of the road pack, which I have 2 of. So I assume I have more trees per tile on my map than others. Rowan really does pack a punch against big guys, which he is supposed to do, but he is a sitting duck once he pops out of stealth. I think he could be more, but he is only good near trees...Maybe 110? 120? He usually gets a hit or two in, then he's toast...More testing I guess. He does eat up a lot of markers if you want to use him though. And I find I have a hell of a time actually running the three tiles away.

Let me try to make some changes you have mentioned and I think I'll work on a pdf of the rules with some phots of units moving around. It would better show both the Stealth and Pocket Dimension aspects in greater clarity.

By the way, thanks for the critique. That was a lot of typing, and I am tired just from reading it.
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  #4  
Old December 18th, 2006, 09:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pug
Boo boo on my part. I meant to write "you may roll the 20-sided...". Editing when I finish this writeup. It is optional.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pug
Getting more people is the intention. Basically, when she activates the power, anyone who gets teleported will go all at once with her as well.
Updated her card. Perhaps this is clearer now. Hit F5 for changes.
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  #5  
Old December 19th, 2006, 10:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pug
If there is no room for them, they just don't go.
I don't know if you added this clause to the card (I can't see them since I'm at work on break right now), but you are going to want to put that on the card. Maybe it would fit on the pocket dimension card.

Also, as a follow up question, if you have more than one figure with a pocket dimension, do you build them all together? Or is each one seperate?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pug
By the way, thanks for the critique. That was a lot of typing, and I am tired just from reading it.
No problem I have not been as active in the customs forum as I would like, and these custom creator of the week threads are a great way to be involved in smaller bite sized chunks.

I got nuthin...
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  #6  
Old December 19th, 2006, 06:01 PM
Pug Pug is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbo
I don't know if you added this clause to the card (I can't see them since I'm at work on break right now), but you are going to want to put that on the card. Maybe it would fit on the pocket dimension card.
I thought I did, but I didn't. I'll add that.

As for building multiple pocket universes, each one would be seperate I think.
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  #7  
Old December 20th, 2006, 03:14 PM
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Doc_Savage Doc_Savage is offline
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Pug’s Scaper of the week cards:

First of all let me say that your cards are some of the best first cards we have ever had posted. They are creative and interesting and different. All good qualities. Anything I have to say is my opinion, but I think your cards are good. The presentation is nice, they are new ideas, blah, blah, blah. On to the critiques…

I am starting off easy – I’ll get to pocket dimensions later…

Majitel Cas – I’m not sure why he is a Timelord… Selena is also a Timelord so I thought Timelords could use pocket dimensions…

I see that all the powers could be related to speeding up or slowing down time. It might be helpful to the theme if the power's names were more time related.

Cas Ring Defense – is this optional? I guess it is because it doesn’t say must. That first sentence is tough to get through. Perhaps it might be simpler to say, “If MC survives an adjacent attack you may roll the 20-sided die.” I know it takes away the roll a shield part, but statistically (I know that’s not reality) he should roll 1 shield every time anyway. But I like simple… If you wanted you could make the roll a 16 or better to make up for the chance of not getting a shield.

However, if you don’t do that (get rid of the roll a shield option) you might reduce the defense to 2, then the two defensive powers become more interesting.

Aura of Flurry – the first sentence might benefit from saying “you may roll…” I think that the wording could be tightened a little. “If you roll a 1 the figure receives a wound.”

Leana – I am somewhat dubious of a Blood Hungry Disciplined Vydar Kyrie. All those things don’t go together to me. Perhaps she could shaolin assault or something else instead. Or just remove the power.

Intimidating Aura – I like this a lot. It feels wordy, but I don’t see anything to cut… Do you really mean “at any time”? So she could use this power on the Gruts turn?


Nice work. I’ll get to the rest later.

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  #8  
Old December 20th, 2006, 04:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Savage
Majitel Cas – I’m not sure why he is a Timelord… Selena is also a Timelord so I thought Timelords could use pocket dimensions…
I have not written up my little blurb on the Cas, but they are basically a mercenary group who all have powers relating to the altering of time and space. The reason I wanted 'Timelord' as I want any bonding with them to be specific. I have a card (here - it needs a bit of work still) for some units which bond. Basically I them only being able to bond with other members of the Cas group, and this seemed like a good way to do it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Savage
Cas Ring Defense – is this optional? I guess it is because it doesn’t say must. That first sentence is tough to get through. Perhaps it might be simpler to say, “If MC survives an adjacent attack you may roll the 20-sided die.” I know it takes away the roll a shield part, but statistically (I know that’s not reality) he should roll 1 shield every time anyway. But I like simple… If you wanted you could make the roll a 16 or better to make up for the chance of not getting a shield.

However, if you don’t do that (get rid of the roll a shield option) you might reduce the defense to 2, then the two defensive powers become more interesting.
This should be mandatory, and I like changing it to 16 and getting rid of the "one shield" thing. Thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Savage
Aura of Flurry – the first sentence might benefit from saying “you may roll…” I think that the wording could be tightened a little. “If you roll a 1 the figure receives a wound.”
Originally this was intended to be a MUST power, as I liked the drawback. After making Selena, I think I will make all Timelord powers "togglable", so I'm going to modify this card tonight to reflect this. I'll take out the flavour wording at the end as you suggested. Clarity = good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Savage
Leana – I am somewhat dubious of a Blood Hungry Disciplined Vydar Kyrie. All those things don’t go together to me. Perhaps she could shaolin assault or something else instead. Or just remove the power.
I really debated over the disciplined/blood hungry bit. I like the power, and wanted it to fit with her, but looking at her sculpt, I feel odd with wild or ferocious. Maybe valiant? Originally I wanted to have the skill affect her blade, as if her sword was enchanted and therefore gave her the power, but I found that tough without changing the name/description of the power from Blood Hungry to something else. And I didn't want to do that because it is an official power...maybe I'll tweak it a bit and rename it, but I really don't want to give her Shaolin Assault, and I don't want an official power with a different name...Hmm...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Savage
Intimidating Aura – I like this a lot. It feels wordy, but I don’t see anything to cut… Do you really mean “at any time”? So she could use this power on the Gruts turn?
Yes any time. If a grut wanders into her radius, no bonding. But that doesn't happen often, since the grut moves after the champion/beast.

Thanks for the input, Doc. I'll see if I can fix up Majitel tonight, and I'll mull over the rest.
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  #9  
Old December 20th, 2006, 08:46 PM
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justjohn justjohn is offline
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The Pocket Dimension idea is crazy. Crazy in a good way, though. The idea of teleporting off figures, and then being able to attack them with tough minions that can only be used in the Pocket Dimension is one of the coolest ideas I've seen in quite a long time. As far as the wording, I've gotta take some time to let it all sink in, and see if there's an easier way to rework some of it. First few reads, however, I can see very few flaws, and many things that could just be handled better if you did include a .pdf instead of trying to fit it all on a card, kudos for style, though

I would like to see some kind of Utgar's Orders type of ability for Selena to be able to take a turn with a Pincer instead of taking her normal turn.

I'm fairly sure it really doesn't have anything to do with it, but the pincer horrors and the pocket dimensions remind me of the Todash Darkness and the monsters that inhabit it in King's The Dark Tower series.

Stealth is neat as well. I'll go into that when after the PD stuff is finished, as it's another can of worms. Good worms.

At first glance, I thought Leana was sort of lack luster and out of place (personality/general) but then I got to thinking about her, and she's pretty thematic. The idea of dumbfounding (intimidating) squaddies with bonding, and then taking them out with Bloodhungry is great. I have to say, though, I'd love to see you put these 2 abilities together on some sort of scary monster/creature, they seem like they'd be quite at home. But then again, I'm a scary monster kind of guy, if you went that route, you could drop the flying and lower the cost a bit, I think. As is, I think she may be a touch undercosted, but still, pretty good stuff.

I've commented on Cas before, and I like him. I like the figure, and I like the ideas behind the custom. His time knights are a great add on, and they work well together, I really wish you could have included them as well.

Yeah, Doc's right, you've got some awesome ideas, that are fairly well executed, and the fact that you take feedback and make changes, is just awesome. You're a great new addition to these forums.

PS-Anyone know why this is unstickied now? I'll resticky it if need be, just didn't want to step on any toes if there was a reason behind unstickying it. Edit* Nevermind, just saw that it was stickied in a sticky. Wierd.

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  #10  
Old December 21st, 2006, 08:41 AM
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Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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This is my third attempt at comments as every time I type of a big long look at each one I get logged off from inactivity. So one at a time. Selena, the wording does need a little work and I have no idea what to tell you to stick there. I really love the concept of the pocket dimension and the way you explained it to Bobbo made alot more sense than what was on the card. A PDF file with pictures and discussion would be alot more helpful than squeezing the rules on a card but like others said above, you get points for style. You need to define yet what happens to people when they are teleported into the pocket dimension, where do they start, etc and if more than one goes, where do they go in reference to the first guy who is setting on the entrance.

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Old December 21st, 2006, 08:42 AM
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Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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Rowan is cool, though I am not too sure of his cost yet. It is probably okay overall just comparing him to syvarris. Stealth is powerful, but a really good idea. The only question I still have is what happens when someone steps on the counter that is the real figure. Do they pass on through? Do they stop and become engaged? Where do they stop? Does it cost them the movement point when trying to pass through the space if they have to stop before the counter when the stealthed figure appears? Overall cool powers and theme.

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  #12  
Old December 21st, 2006, 08:50 AM
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Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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Leanna is probably my favorite figure and I didnt even think about it before but the guys above are right. When I think of Vydar, I dont think of bullies or bloodlust, I think of sneaky or technology or some out there time/space thingie. So what you could do is use that same theme you have going for your other figures, timelord, and apply it to Leanna like some type of quantum strike that allows you to hit the people around you, or some type of p sychic jamming that nullifies bonding in figures around you. Or you could simply make her Utgar. Then all the intimidation and blood fury fits.

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