The Joke Thread

[MegaSilver]

Originally Posted by bobinchese

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

The first muffin looks at the second muffin and says, "man it sure is hot in here"

The second muffin looks at the first muffin and says. "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

[flameslayer93]

1st edition RotV for $10 (sparkly waters included).

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

How does a lion like his meat?

Spoiler Alert!

ROAR

This joke is so cheesy I decided to put a second one,

Why is there no gambling in Africa?

Spoiler Alert!

Because there are too many cheetahs!

[Eraguy816]

Here's one.

Spoiler Alert!

Yesterday a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Here's another.

Spoiler Alert!

After having a disagreement, an old married couple drove down a country lane for several minutes without saying a word to each other. Both believed they were right, and neither wanted to give in.

They approached a pasture with a pack of mules.

"Relatives of yours?" the husband asked, gesturing to the group of animals.

"Yep" the wife replied. "In-Laws."

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?

Spoiler Alert!

Because of his coffin

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Spoiler Alert!

A gummy bear

[Eraguy816]

[betawolf36]

A papa shark and a baby shark are swimming through the ocean when they spot a group of swimmers stranded in the water. The little shark begins swimming toward the people but his father stops him.

"No son first we have to swim around them with just the tips of our fins showing" And they do. "Now we have to swim around them with all of our fins showing." And they do. "Now we eat everybody!" Announces the papa shark.

Once they are both gorged the little shark asks "Dad, why did we have to do all that swimming around?"

The papa shark replies, "Because they taste alot better without all the poop inside!"

[Eraguy816]

3 guys go to a rich mans house. The man says "I'll give anything to the man who swims thought my pool with crocs in it." They go out to see it. Then when they start to go inside they hear a splash and one of the guys is in the pool swimming for his life.
He climbs out and the rich guy says "You've done it! Name the thing you wish for." The man turns and says "The only thing I want is to know who pushed me."

[Rexmax2]

Joke of the Day

What do you do with epileptic lettuce?

Spoiler Alert!

Make a seizure salad!

[Eraguy816]

What was Julius Caesar called when he came old?

Spoiler Alert!

Julius Geezer.

[SuperflyTNT]

Four old men were sitting at a table playing poker, reminiscing, and talking about getting old.

The oldest one there noted, "I think life's been good to me. I'm 94 years old, and with God's grace, I'll be leaving the world with everything I started with."

One of the others replied, "Harold, those are your real teeth?"

Harold replied, "I wasn't born with them!"

[Lord Pyre]

An old man walks down the sidewalk, and notices a small child sitting on the curb, crying. The old man stops and asks the child "What's wrong?" The child replies, "I can't do what the big boys do."

The old man sits on the curb and cries.